…or the decade that has been.
Tonight after the fireworks at midnight, Channel Nine will be showing Can’t Stop The Music, aka The Village People movie.
It wouldn’t be that bad if the Teens wind up being the 70s in reverse.
It's also a blue moon tonight.
Welcome to Jukebox of the Year, coming this year from Australia. First, the opening act.
Not expecting that, eh?
Our first Jukebox is the American Jukebox of the Year. The nominees are:
The winner is:
Gaga nearly got it, but it’s just not her year on the Jukebox yet. Besides, the record sales are good consolation.
The next Jukebox is Eurovision Jukebox of the Year.
The nominees are:
The winner is:
While Sakis showed nipple, Svetty and her male dancers did everything to recreate Pride Night at the Eagle onstage in Moscow. Add in nonsensical lyrics and pyrotechnics, and Sakis being coy stood no chance.
And now the interval:
Actually, Lady Gaga could probably do a good cover of it.
Now, our third Jukebox of the Year is Japanese.
The nominees are:
The winner is:
Never underestimate the appeal of a cheeky comedy song.
And now, as the punters start getting antsy and full of VB & Toohey’s, here is the Australasian Jukebox of the Year.
The nominees are:
The winner is:
Now this was a major upset. Empire of the Sun had the odds in their favour, and Ladyhawke fought the good Kiwi fight, but alas, it was for naught as Bluejuice took them all out.
And now, let’s close this year’s Jukebox with a clip from an opening ceremony.
Have a wild, energetic, anti-crisis, thrilling 2010 and whatever we wind up calling the coming decade. (Are we even in agreement of the Noughties?)
It’s under 24 hours until the Jukebox of the Year winners are announced, but in the meantime, enjoy a bit of New Year’s Eve Eve dark humour with the news that The Best Job in the World winner has been stung by a deadly jellyfish. (the ABC’s coverage here, Newscorp coverage here.)
He’s not dead, so you can laugh without fear of a major karma hit.
Much like when the Oscars/Emmys/Golden Globes are announced, I am up at some ungodly hour so that it can be broadcast at 8:30 Eastern time…in this particular case, that means Australian Eastern Time. (Psych.)
Apologies for the weak humour, but what would a nomination announcement be without one leaden joke.
Anyway, the nominees for Japanese Jukebox of the Year are:
Kumi Koda – Show Girl
Saori@Destiny – WOW WAR TECHNO
Oshiri Kajiri Mushi (the bottom biting bug)
w-inds – New World
So that’s show girls, sensory overload, bum-biting bugs, and w-inds making a dance army out of an after-hours club. Sorted.
The nominees for Eurovision Jukebox of the Year:
Sukkerchok – Det’ det (from this year’s Danish MGP)
Jahn Teigen & Inger-Lise Rypdal – Voodoo (from the 1976 Norwegian MGP)
Svetlana Loboda – Be my Valentine! (Anti-crisis Girl) (from this year’s Eurovision)
Sakis Rouvas – This Is Our Night (also from this year’s Eurovision)
Surprisingly, this was a tough category to call, particularly with the Eurovision final entries. Still, Sakis showing nipple and the let’s-throw-everything-but-the-kitchen-sink Ukrainian entry pipped poor Zoli Adok and dramatic Patricia Kaas to the post.
A new category this year, the American Jukebox of the Year, which will feature one song that hasn’t actually made it to the jukebox, but acknowledges that the Jukebox isn’t entirely in a vacuum.
BoA – Energetic
Destiny’s Child – Lose My Breath (Live at Music Fair 21)
Lady Gaga – Bad Romance
The Juan Maclean – Happy House
Yes, the Gaga got in, even though she has never appeared on the Jukebox. (You have to have some controversy with an awards show.) Mind you, the competition is pretty rough, and interestingly, Beyonce & Co. are probably the weakest. (If Single Ladies was released this year, it could’ve been a contender, but it wasn’t.) Also, since BoA’s album was targeted at the American market, it counts in the American category.
Finally, the nominees for Australian/New Zealand Jukebox of the Year are:
Bluejuice – Broken Leg
Empire of the Sun – Without You
Empire of the Sun – We Are The People
Ladyhawke – Back of the Van
More controversy here as Without You and Back of the Van never appeared on the Jukebox, but both songs had killer videos…and the category needed padding. The Jukebox had to close ranks here, because if it completely represented the local charts, it would be Empire of the Sun versus the Guy Sebastian juggernaut, and I just would not allow that to happen.
While the nominations are being tallied for Jukebox of the Year 2009, TVNZ has kindly provided a review of the crazy antics out in KiwiLand over the past year.
I poke fun at the Kiwis, but it must be said that while Australia’s top-rated local drama is the very MOR Packed to the Rafters* (which had a heap of controversy over a masturbation scene), theirs is the unabashedly sex, drugs, and Shakespeare Outrageous Fortune.
* Underbelly somewhat redeems Australia in this regard.
Being Australia’s most populous city (although Melbourne & Brisbane are catching up) and most popular (ditto) destination for tourists, Sydney manages to amble along with a heady mix of residents and visitors. For the most part, the two groups tend to stay out of each other’s way, although remain keenly aware of their symbiotic existence.
Unlike many cities in the US, for example, Sydney does cater for the long-term leisure visitor. It makes sense: if you’ve travelled literally halfway around the world, you would want to make the most of the visit and not stay for just a week or two. Yet, the long term visitors have often rubbed the permanent residents the wrong way.
Today’s Sydney Morning Herald gives a glimpse into one skirmish, which could possibly change Sydney’s accommodating attitudes towards tourists.
Mind you, on a completely personal level, I wouldn’t get a thrill out of living in a campervan, showering in public, and eating on the beach.
That probably explains why I won’t be working for Lonely Planet anytime soon.
I have no trouble saying that I think that the whole rigmarole over the public option was silly, but since some constituents (I’m not necessarily going to blame politicians for being political) are lemmings who believe everything they hear on FNC, then this “healthcare breakthrough” and the “exchange” that it creates is the third best outcome one could hope for. (At least that’s my interpretation of the CBC’s report.)
It’s bit like the Copenhagen agreement, when I think about it.
Perhaps indicative of the slow news time (Copenhagen aside) that we are in now, Uncle Rupert’s Daily Telegraph has the drug mishaps of the actors on Home & Away (the less mundane of Australia’s two soap operas) as their front page story.
Interestingly, the story doesn’t make mention of Seven’s new “two strikes and you’re out” policy.
Janet Fife-Yeomans must be channelling Elmore Leonard as some of the passages read like the most pulpiest novel you can imagine:
Lining up some "snow" is just what you do. Sticking a straw or a $100 bill up your nostril and snorting white powder that will eventually eat away your nose, destroy the septum, leave you disfigured. Putting your future up your nose - no big deal. It has a touch of glamour even.
Wow. It's five in the morning and you're beyond excited. You're sitting in a chair in a hair and make-up trailer not far from the North Palm Beach Surf Lifesaving Club, better known in 80 countries around the world as Summer Bay Surf Club House. Your first day on the set of Home And Away, a dream come true.
You've done a lot of modelling although you have little or no acting experience. You're young and handsome and you look right for the part. Basically you will be playing yourself.
Coincidentally, the Epping Studios mentioned in the article shut down this week, as Seven moves to their new facilities in Eveleigh, just adjacent to Redfern…which should elicit a chuckle some.
Personally, I find it funny that Lasance thinks he’s got a good shot in the US*, I’d think Canada or the UK would be the wiser choice.
* Worldwide, it’s interesting to note how few people realise what a strong grip religion and propriety have in the US, especially since Reagan. I think the US is easing up somewhat, but I really don’t think that it has loosened up as much as many non-Americans think it has. Much like the American style of government, American society moves slow in relation to the rest of the world.
…And NZ goes ballistic, well, at least TV3.
We, in Australia, don’t care. Why? We’ve got drug running rugby players and pregnant women.
Mind you, it would help if the Tyra Banks Show would actually air down here. Although I’d rather have Wendy Williams first.
Scary as it may seem—particularly for those of us who were teenagers at the time—the end of the naughties will likely bring on an onslaught of 1990s nostalgia.
Listen, I wore flannel like everyone else and listened to tonnes of Juliana Hatfield/Soul Asylum/Soundgarden, but if we are going to have a 90s revival, could we please do right by the early 90s and bring back proper house music? (And you just know Lady Gaga will gladly participate.)
Perhaps The Juan Maclean’s Happy House can lead the charge?
If news coverage is an indicator, then Australia is preparing for a proverbial “mell of a hess”" with the planned British Airways cabin crew strike.
Australia Post workers going on strike? Not a big deal at all.
For those who remember the cryptic drug admissions of Clinton, Gore, and even Bush-the-younger, the ABC brings us an interesting tale from Tony Abbott’s past: he had some hemp yoghurt in India and proceeded to be "away with the fairies for about 12 hours”.
I bet you can’t find that flavour at Ben & Jerry’s.
By the way, if you’ve been wondering why I have been absent for a good long period of this week, my fiancé & I have inherited a cat. She’s an aging moggy, but nonetheless this past week has been the pet equivalent of taking a parental leave.
A major highlight: getting her to come out, relax, and amble about during the day. Today, she finally did.
I could truly use some of that hemp yoghurt.
I’m rather surprised that my body clock is completely fine with the fact that it is Summer, as long as I manage to avoid any media that does the Christmas = Winter connection.
It does help that for the most part Australian television is pretty much in repeat/low expectations mode until the new year. Down here, the ratings season ends for 10 weeks during Summer and the networks just don’t bother for the most part: Seven goes for Kiwi realty with Borderline and Border Patrol (which are basically Border Security outside the airport and inside the airport respectively), Ten is running a mix of Kiwi and USA Network shows, and Nine is just being Nine.
On the political front, however, there’s been a bucket load of changes: Malcolm Turnbull got kicked out of the Liberal leadership by grinning, Speedo-wearing Conservative Tony Abbott (who pretty much is the Australian Stockwell Day), and Nathan Rees got booted out of the New South Wales premiership by an American-Australian Kristina Keneally. The Australian press swears up and down that her American accent is prominent, but to me she just sounds like a posh Australian (Think Kerri-Anne Kennerley).
Then again, I wouldn’t really notice her accent, would I?
So a "boy” band walks into an afterhours club and proceeds to do Michael & Janet Jackson’s best dancing moves while yelling that they are in a new world.
And it works. How strange is that?
