The Preshow
TVE is deciding to go with an arts show at 1pm, so I decide to go with C1R.
And what a wise choice was that. The C1R preshow begins with Philip “Camp as Hell” Kirkorov singing Diva with a mini-Las Vegas show behind him.
Unfortunately, Andy is there as well. I will say this, he’s less annoying in Russian than he is in English. Although his hair continues to grow.
The audience is considerably more telegenic for the final, and amongst them I see a dead ringer for Donald Sutherland.
Who comes out (no pun intended) after Kirkorova? None other than Patricia Kaas, who looks stunning. I realise that the final has yet to even air and the winner isn’t as much decided, but Andy’s interview has a strong air of talking to a reigning Eurovision winner.
Or else she’s just that popular in Russia.
Andy talks to a grizzled, but dignified old man who if I am reading the subtitles correctly is the head of the French delegation, or possibly the French ambassador.
Disclaimer: I’d actually understand what La Kaas was saying if she wasn’t dubbed into Russian.
La Kaas is very dignified and demure, but I reckon she’d rather be doing her preparation. (Hey, she’s on 3rd.)
Andy talks to a bunch of Russian talking hands. Some very good looking actor gushes over La Kaas. Calm down, queen.
Next on the list: Sasha (Alexander) Son. They show a clip of him singing as a preteen in 1995. I feel old.
Poor Sasha is on first, you’d think they’d be a little more considerate.
Sasha looks very wholesome, but it might likely be that he’s getting a “good luck” message from his family.
I switch back to TVE (and I can I say that I am not a fan of this new logo for TVE? It looks cheap.) They are playing Soraya’s video. The song is still fierce, and I am truly struck by how beautiful she is. Whether that will come across onstage, I don’t know.
Apparently I have stumbled onto a TVE ad break, which gives me the strange position of being able to switch between Eurovision coverage on 3 separate channels in New York (TVE, C1R, and RTPi). I am pleasantly shocked and grateful. (It’d be perfect if one of them was TV5, but they’re carrying soccer. I actually have a choice of another one, TVP, but I have a fighting chance with Spanish & Portuguese, I wouldn’t dare try to figure out Polish.)
Going back to C1R, they are also in the middle of ad break. Interestingly, the ads on C1R skew American, so if I ever have to find a Russian-speaking lawyer in Brooklyn or want some really tacky furniture made locally, I know where to turn to.
There’s also a very bizarre ad for a podiatrist that involves feet doing Irish dancing, which makes C1R’s return from the ad break more jarring. Why? Well, a highly respected Russian singer (whose name I don’t catch, Ludmilla something) is singing her geriatric heart out and the audience is in tears. I have to say it was very stirring.
Guess who’s in the audience? Igor the Letch from Croatia. He compliments Russian girls. Eyes up here, buddy. Eyes up here.
Next up? Svetty, who wears a belt with her last name on it big as the sky. She struts and smirks like Ukraine has already won. (Or maybe she’s just very happy that Ukraine beating Russia on the scoreboard is a given.)
They bring out her mother, who surprisingly doesn’t haul out and call her “tramp.”
Elena Schitzophrenia from Romania is on next. She is casually relaxed, and kind of airheaded, based on her body language. Next thing you know, you see her mother (in national dress no less) embarrassing poor Elena with the state of her childhood room. Mama Elena sings. Russian audience appreciative, but Andy is quick to get her out of there.
This most be the no hopers section, because AsOs are on next. I catch Os talking about doing an international tour of West Side Story and I pretty much figured out his story. Os’s mother comes on camera (from California) and Oscar freaks out. As just sits there, unimpressed, even when they bring out his sister.
Miss World struts onstage and Os tries to butch it up inasmuch as possible as one can with that song.
Some guy called Maksim from “Love Radio” gives his opinion of the German entry. Indifferent is what I interpret.
Ad for Eurovision, and I have to say these promos are some of the most sharpest and just flat out cool looking ones I have ever seen. Good job, C1. Shame you had to win it with that song, but at least he isn’t hosting.
I switch over to RTPi, which is in the middle of the traditional pre-Eurovision news break. They mention the arrests of the gay rights protestors in Moscow. Good.
I have doubts C1R will do so. What they will do is bring out the sisters from Armenia and their very stylish mother. (Noticing a theme? Remember what this year’s Russian entry is all about?)
Having had a maternal overload, I go channel surfing again.
TVE: Still doing an Arts programme. (I think they’re pissed over the flack they’ve been getting over the botch 2nd Semi-final broadcast and lack of televote.)
RTPi: Fatima, Fatima, Fatima. Next time I start seeing things, I’ll call it a miracle too. Actually, it’s their news broadcast as mentioned earlier, but you’d think that nothing else was happening in Portugal except for Fatima celebrations.
Finally at 2:30, TVE begins its preshow. The hostess is a woman dressed in goth black and with many tattoos. Yet she is very professional and curt.
Guess what happens next though? They go straight to the news. So La Gothica & co. will be the postshow hosts.
I don’t think TVE realise that they’re breaking my heart with such scant coverage.
C1R: The same Sopranoskii panel from Thursday are cracking jokes with a pretty blonde woman (Miss World?). She is considerably taller than all of them.
RTP: Sports.
Hikaru: Tea break.
Upon return I go back to TVE to find their man in Moscow reporting on how the Kremlin is advising citizens to not go to North America or Spain due to Swine Flu. There’s a big feeling of “screw you” in his reporting. Very little Soraya fanfare. (Ditto RTP, which had on their version of Points of View, which is hilarious in any language.)
The Final
Finally Te Deum is played and I finally get to see some Eurovision on TVE.
More floating letters through Moscow spelling out the word “FINAL.”
No Beatriz, but a male commentator. (Don Carlos? I don’t think so. This guy is too solemn.)
Another wacky retelling of a Russian fairy tale told by a man in a very menacing voice, with music straight out of Friday the 13th.
Onstage however, we have acrobats and a man capering about like he’s a bird in a top hat.
I think the theme they re going for here is circus, since this is pretty much like a Cirque de Soleil act.
And guess what? It is Cirque de Soleil!
Some man floats through the air and guess who is it? Dima Evita, who attracts an entourage of women and starts running on a platform while being hassled by papparazzi. The theme is now: I am Dima, You must love me. He strips and “flies,” while singing that song which won last year. (Yes, I didn’t care for it, in case it’ not obvious.)
Dima Evita seems to have finally read the lyrics and I see flashes of comprehension on his face. As for the staging, it’s DE being an overwrought diva while annoying the “violinists” surrounding him.
Spanish commentator? Unimpressed. Ditto.
And now we have Al & I. I looks a lot like Zeljko, and I think I may have been one of the Sopranoskii from earlier. They are both a VAST improvement upon the Natty & Andy show: subdued, competent, and elegant. Al’s French is great. They get on with the show with no filler. (Lesson to future hosts: that’s how to open a final.)
Lithuania: Appreciative roar from the crowd. Sasha’s performance is more confident than on Thursday’s, but more importantly, he’s now conveying the emotion behind the lyrics. He gets louder during the Russian section, but really no radical changes. Good opener, but probably not good for Lithuania points-wise.
Israel: Perhaps it’s the fact that I haven’t heard it since Tuesday, but the exoticism is seemingly enhanced. Mira has styled her hair differently, so she doesn’t look like Hillary Rodham Clinton. The performance is more intimate, but surprisingly less raw. Might do better than expected.
France: Roar for La Kaas from the crowd. She struts onstage and after singing the first line, the crowd cheers again. La Kaas alone onstage while the song’s title is displayed in several different languages behind her. She is definitely and successfully going the dramatic route. La Kaas is in excellent voice, although the little dance at the end might’ve been too much. Crowd goes wild.
Sweden: A good roar for SWBOA. This is also the first upbeat song of the evening. SWBOA has her permagrin on, which kind of doesn’t work lyrically. I must say that coming on after France is not going to hurt Sweden’s chances that much, but it does make it look noticeably weaker. SWBOA is not as strong as she was on Tuesday. Crowd roars. Portuguese commentator unimpressed. (Yes, I’m jumping about.)
Croatia: Igor the Letch gets a light smattering of applause when he comes on. He’s no dog, but trying to go the sexy male route in a contest with Sakis Rouvas is just asking to get your butt kicked. Both Igor and Andrea are vocally weaker than Thursday. Still, great staging saves it majorly. Croatia might not get beat as bad as I thought.
Portugal: Portuguese commentator getting excited with each second that Portugal gets closer. The first thing you notice is how colourful the video screens are for Portugal in contrast to the previous entries. The running order helps them out immensely as there is a happy, wholesome, hippy feel to the performance in contrast to Croatia. The lead singer is in even better voice. I think Portugal will surprise on the scoreboard if they choose the right bit for the recap. (She tried the tear thing again!)
Iceland: Spanish commentator gets excited about Yohanna for some reason. Now remember on Tuesday this came on in the middle of two very OTT entries. Today it’s on between Portugal & Greece, and it’s coming across as more melancholy, even kind of ominous in parts. Still, Yohanna’s voice is even better That said, I think the atmosphere of the Portuguese entry might overwhelm Iceland’s chances.
Greece: Will from 2006 gets the “Good Luck” postcard and an appreciative roar. He’s really working it today, not caring if we see more midriff than on Thursday. The crowd cheers liberally through the song, thereby covering up the fact that Sakis is increasingly breathless. SHOCK! Sakis actually pulled his shirt to show a nipple. Watch the Greek chances of victory rise.
Armenia: Russian commentators still neutral. The Sisters have their work cut out for them, competing with a Sakis Rouvas striptease and light show. The song is still catchy and their performance does convey the happy nature of the song. Good job.
Russia: Now the Russian commentators are getting excited, dare I even say babbling? Loud roar, but that’s to be expected. Now how is this for staging? Anastasia is singing in front of an image of herself. In fact the real Anastasia is upstaged by an aging image of herself. The staging is totally saving this as quite frankly the song is basically Anastasia screaming. (The aged Anastasia cries while the real life version goes into crazy.) Much. Much. Better. I think C1R might really have to do it again.
Azerbaijan: The running order might hurt them, particularly after Anastasia’s tour-de-force (courtesy of CGI). It’s clear that Arash is kind of the weak link in this song. He’s coming across uncertain while AySel and the dancing girls could very well be an entirely different song. Spanish commentator unimpressed, I don’t think anything but Spain would interest him.
Bosnia & Herzegovina: There’s really no way to tell, but I would be willing to guess that part of the reason that BiH got into the Final was that they performed last on Tuesday, and this is a song (like, um…Leija) that looks very striking when performed near the end. Nonetheless, the lads are doing a killer job, but factors outside their control (like, um…the running order) are working against them. It just all looks too forced and almost over the top, whereas it looked natural on Tuesday.
TVE is surprisingly showing some of the ad break filler. We are treated to Russians butchering their own national folk songs.
Moldova: The running order might scupper Moldova’s chances as well, or help, actually. Nelly’s voice is weaker than it was on Thursday, but the energy is higher and the song feels more like a genuine performance than like one by the numbers as it appeared in the semi. I pity those men’s kneecaps after flinging themselves down to the floor. Still, it just doesn’t seem as remarkable as I think it could be.
Malta: Apparently the Spanish commentator rates Malta quite highly as he starts sounding excited. Chiara is in better voice, but unfortunately she still has the same song, and is much higher in the running order than on Tuesday. Quite honestly, she’s giving it her all, but I just see it struggling on the scoreboard, particularly with a song that is a it dated. Good job though.
Estonia: Slight roar from the crowd the second Sandra starts singing. She’s also in better voice and the exotic quotient is still on full display. The downside, the song seems to drag a bit, but with the right selection for the recap that might not be a problem.
Denmark: One of the nice things about the new Eurovision is that bog breaks are a lot easier to make. I’ve seen Keatingsson. I pretty much expect him to do the exact same thing, and from the first few seconds, it’s pretty much evident he will. The only difference I can tell is that the song has gotten more of a country-rock feel. I don’t think it’s a failure, but I don’t think it’ll bother the top 10.
Germany: The Spanish commentator gets all excited over Dita Von Teese. Some time ago I used to use the word “cipher” to describe someone who is pretty much anonymous. Os’s performance is pretty much the definition of it. He’s trying to being a Jr. Sakis, and when Dita comes on she upstages Os with an open shirt. The funny thing? SHE DOES NOTHING BUT SIT ON A CAR.
Turkey: Everybody’s favourite Turkish-Belgian. I have to surprisingly put Turkey in the category of songs that come across weaker, although the chorus is fortunately still strong. That said, Germany may have saved itself from the bottom of the scoreboard with Dita, but that same trick also hurts Turkey’s chances of breaking the Top 5.
Albania: Russian commentators having a swell ol’ time now. Lots of banter. Kejsi still looking stunned like a Teenage Pageant Princess. I truly do not get the staging here: She’s flung about the stage by a man in green with a face ripped from a mirrorball while two Joker Jr. clones breakdance. If I was having these kind of dreams, I wouldn’t be so keen to live in them. Bizarre, and yet I see them breaking the Top 10.
Norway: I think C1R’s commentators have broken out the spirits, they’re that jolly now. Loud roar for Alexander and his damn permanent grin. He’s taking his clues from Dima, but unlike Dima Evita, he actually understands what he’s singing. Coming on after Albania and before Ukraine, this is like an island of sanity. I don’t see winner, but I see top 5. I still can’t stand that smile of his. It’s too forced. It must be said that Norway’s backing singers are consistently excellent.
Oh, it’s Al & I, I had forgotten about them. They remind us to vote. I screams, and yet it’s not annoying.
Ukraine: Russian commentators seemingly sarcastic towards Svetty. Slight roar from crowd. Svetty certainly is a flexible girl, isn’t she? The Valentine = Roman soldiers and hell wheels theme finally occurred to me. (The story of St. Valentine.) Whether it’s apparent to the choreographer or even Svetty, I don’t know. Anyway, Svetty still gets flung about, says “bom” a lot, and plays the hell out of those drums. The whole thing is still so incoherent that I can’t see it winning. Nonetheless, a great performance.
Romania: Portuguese commentator makes a “Dracula” reference as one must always do when Romania appears. Elena still doesn’t quite get the underlying theme with the lyrics (I want to party, but there’s more to life). The song however comes across a lot stronger than it did in the Semi. I don’t know if the whole Spring Nymphs theme works, but the running order and Elena being in good voice will help.
United Kingdom: I finally get the postcards, they are showing monuments from the performing country. Loud roar for Jade. Jade certainly is camera-savvy, although do we need to see even a second of Lord Andrew? (Joke…Somewhat.) Jade walks proudly through a line of violinists. (Take note: Dima Evita.) Crowd roars during Jade’s loud portions. Ghastly looking ALW applauds at the end. Not quite feeling certain about whether she’ll win, but top 5 very likely.
Finland: Now they have definitely improved. The women singing backup where already good, but the rapper (Waldo?) is also in better voice. Surprisingly better.
Spain: Spanish commentator happy at last. Soraya makes a very dramatic entrance, and pretty much makes us all forget about Waldo & Co. Depending on the penalty that TVE receives, this might be in contention or just close to it. The disappearing Soraya trick works well.
Al & I come back on and prep us for the recap. Guess who does the countdown? Two members of the International Space Station.
Recap: Lithuania, strong…Israel, earnest…La Kaas kicks ass…Croatia kind of dirty…Portugal wholesome and trippy…Iceland slightly anonymous…Greece, HE SHOWED NIPPLE…Armenia strong but lost in the shuffle…Russia, way better than expected…Azerbaijan, maybe if AySel did it on her own…BiH, still a mediocre Leija…Moldova believable…Malta lost in a timewarp…Estonia don’t mess with success…Denmark generic but not bad…Germany, thank god for Dita…Turkey see Armenia (strangely enough)…Albania, flat out bizarre…Norway, competent, but verging on annoying…Ukraine, saner than Albania…Romania see Armenia…The UK s.t.r.o.n.g,e.r. but…Finland surprisingly good…Spain, if it weren’t for the fact that TVE had made that broadcasting error…
Wow, Al & I are confident. Could we have them again?
Ad break filler involving the long suffering plucky C1R Reporter poking fun at Russian stereotypes.
Hallelujah! I finally get some Dmitry, and I realise he looks quite like ZsA ZsA. This is a good thing.
Al & I do the countdown all in English.
The interval is Fuerza Bruta, which either used to or still is playing at Union Square. It’s worth seeing if you have the chance, but as people walking on walls and swimming in pools suspended high up on the air has been a fixture of New York morning television for several months now, I won’t.
Al & I turn over to Daddy Svante, who announces that it is time for the results.
Spain (he’s cute): Portugal gets the 8, UK gets 10, Norway gets the 12. Norwegians happy.
Belgium (she’s serious): Israel gets the 8, Norway gets 10, Turkey gets the 12. (Well, she is Belgian.)
Belarus (she’s stunned or stoned): Russia gets 8, Azerbaijan gets 10, Norway gets 12.
Malta (she’s surrounded by ravers?): Norway gets 8, UK gets 10, Iceland gets 12. Norway’s lead is mounting quickly.
Germany (ahh…Hamburg, I think): UK gets 8, Turkey gets 10, and Norway gets 12. The UK is the only one giving Norway some competition.
Czechia: Russia gets 8, Azerbaijan gets 10, Armenia gets 12.
Sweden (who’s she?): Azerbaijan gets 8, Iceland gets 10, Norway gets 12. The Norwegians are partying already.
Top 3: Norway, UK, and Turkey
Iceland (must they always yell in Iceland): Finland 8, Estonia 10, and Norway 12. (She calls him the cutest guy in the contest. Sakis must be pissed.)
France (wow, a charismatic French spokesman): Norway gets 8, Israel gets 10, Turkey gets 12.
This voting is just speeding along.
Israel (that elephant joke just failed): Armenia gets 8, Iceland gets 10, Norway gets 12.
It’s not bad song, but god, I am not looking forward to seeing him perform it again.
Russia (she’s stunned even though she’s in the same stadium): Estonia gets 8, France gets 10, and Norway gets 12.
Spain still has yet to score. Ouch. Spanish commentator sounding slightly pissed.
Latvia (we can see your chest hair, Borat): Iceland gets 8, Estonia 10, Norway 12.
Montenegro (Hello, Wonder Woman): Croatia gets 8, Norway gets 10, and BiH gets 12 after see took forever to say that.
Top 3: Norway, Iceland, and Azerbaijan. God, I hope that changes (meaning #3).
Andorra (is she human?): Iceland gets 8, Norway gets 10 (already in the 100s), Spain gets the 12. (Spaniards celebrate.)
Finland (Oh, it’s Jari from when Finland wasn’t doing well at this contest): Norway gets 8 (ouch), Iceland gets 10, Estonia gets 12. (Happy Estonians.)
Switzerland: Norway gets 8, Portugal gets 10 (Portugal is beating Spain at this point), Turkey gets 12.
Bulgaria (wow, she’s blonde): Azerbaijan gets 8, Turkey gets 10, Greece gets 12. (Sakis is holding it in, but he’s not pleased one bit.)
Lithuania (is that Ronan Keating’s long lost brother?): Iceland gets 8, Estonia gets 10, Norway gets 12.
UK (he’s a slick one): Iceland gets 8, Norway gets 10, and Turkey gets 12.
Top 3: Norway, Iceland, and Turkey. (It’s a battle for 3rd place.)
Macedonia (solemn): Norway gets 8, BiH gets 10, and Turkey gets 12. Turkey & Iceland now tied for 2nd.
I like you Al, but “tense with tension?”
More ad break filler wherein the participants are lined up to play Russian folk instruments. Give me some Dmitry!
What do they play? “Not gonna get us.” Usch.
Al & I hawk the CD & DVD…in a dignified manner. The contrast between the final and Semis is huge.
Slovakia (he’s a bit of a silver fox, the Anderson Cooper of Slovakia?): BiH gets 8, Norway gets 10, Estonia gets 12.
Norway has broken the 200 point mark.
Greece (putting a brave face on): Azerbaijan gets 8, Norway gets 10, UK gets 12. (Happy Brits.)
BiH (it’s Laka, and he still looks crazy): Israel gets 8, Norway gets 10, Croatia gets 12. (Ivan noticeably not lecherous).
Ukraine (plastic, much?): Russia gets 8, Azerbaijan gets 10, Norway gets 12.
Norway shut-out, Iceland and Turkey tied for 2nd.
Turkey (perky or stoned): BiH gets 8, Albania gets 10, Azerbaijan gets 12. Turkey puts themselves at 3rd by giving Iceland 2 points.
Albania (he looks very tall): UK gets 8, Turkey gets 10, Greece gets 12. (Sakis somewhat pleased.)
Serbia (hello Jovana): UK gets 8, Norway gets 10, BiH gets 12. Turkey now at 2nd place.
Cyprus (very sober): Azerbaijan gets 8, Norway gets 10, Greece gets 12. (Sakis still giving his thumbs up.)
Poland (he’s cute in an uptight way): Estonia gets 8, Ukraine gets 10, Norway gets 12.
Norwegians still partying.
Netherlands: Turkey gets 8, Azerbaijan gets 10, Norway gets 12. Alex holding it in…poorly.
Estonia (Is that Maarja-Liis?): Iceland gets 8, Russia gets 10, Norway gets 12.
Norway breaks the 300 point mark. (A record.)
Croatia (solemn and a bit plastic): Norway gets 8, Azerbaijan gets 10, BiH gets 12.
Portugal (no Fatima reference?): Iceland gets 8, UK gets 10, Moldova gets 12. (Moldovans crying with happiness…I think.)
Romania (really perky): Greece gets 8, Iceland gets 10, Moldova gets 12. (Moldovans still freaking out.)
Ireland: Norway gets 8, The UK gets 10, Iceland gets 12. (Happy Icelanders.)
Denmark (go get a haircut!): Azerbaijan gets 8, Iceland gets 10, and Norway gets 12.
Camera on the Norwegians goes crazy.
Azerbaijan still mysteriously 3rd.
Moldova (he looks like he’s lost): Norway gets 8, Azerbaijan gets 10, Romania gets 12.
Slovenia (Peter finally got cleaned up. He makes a good joke out of Slovenia missing the final): Denmark gets 8, BiH gets 10, and Norway gets 12.
Armenia (She is pretty, She’s Sirusho?): Norway gets 8, Greece gets 10, Russia gets 12.
Anastasia is wearing a turban like she’s about to go to sleep.
Hungary (very dry): Ukraine gets 8, Azerbaijan gets 10, Norway gets 12.
Haven’t the Norwegians hands bled by all that clapping? Only Azerbaijan & Norway left to vote. So Norway gets to enshrine their own win.
Azerbaijan (super perky): Norway gets 8, Ukraine gets 10, Turkey gets 12.
Norway (surprisingly restrained, although it looks like he’s about to cry): Denmark gets 8, Azerbaijan gets 10, Iceland gets 12.
Norway wins, and they are kind of restrained. No crying. No intense screaming.
But finally, that grin has finally left his face.
Spanish commentator slightly pissed about the Spanish result. I would be too.
I don’t know what they all heard with that Azeri song, but they got up there.
Iceland did a lot better than I thought.
I would truly hate to be anywhere within a 10 mile radius of Will from 2006, because I think he’ll go postal.
Dima Evita & Lys Assia present the award to Alexander, who is now stunned. Alex & Dima Evita have a moment, but really it’s just Dima Evita trying to hog the spotlight.
Alexander says something in Norwegian, and then puts on that damn permagrin.
Oh well, next year is a pop year.
I hope.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Eurovision 2009: The Final Preshow Preshow
I'll miss you TVE, but even a Eurovision fanatic like myself has his limits, and TVE’s coverage started at 12n EDT, the contest itself ends approximately at 615 pm EDT. All combined that means that preshow + final together is 6 hours +. That’s a long time to recap, particularly when I’m doing a fair amount of Spanish to English translation in my French-trained mind. So what do I choose to do? Watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey for one hour before jumping into the presumably trippy and bizarre TVE coverage.
I am not going to even try to predict the winner beyond saying that I’d put good odds on it being one of the Big 4. Spain’s chances are majorly hampered by the Second Semi-Final debacle, but one never knows.
Good luck.
Regular TVE preshow coverage will follow.
I am not going to even try to predict the winner beyond saying that I’d put good odds on it being one of the Big 4. Spain’s chances are majorly hampered by the Second Semi-Final debacle, but one never knows.
Good luck.
Regular TVE preshow coverage will follow.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Do they even do rap battles anymore?
At least ones where everybody is in on the joke?
A chance hit on Wikipedia last night brought up the story of the Roxanne Wars, a series of singles that lasted nearly a decade.
The hilarious and truly absurd thing about it all? There never was any Roxanne, and the inciting incident is so minor that it's hard to believe that this was making money from Reagan all the way to Clinton.
Rap magazine Fat Lace has a great compendium of the assorted battles which get even sillier the longer the rap "war" goes on.
Seriously, someone with the stage name of Gigolo Tony pulls off (better than his name would imply) the role of a pissed off father hellbent on restoring his daughter's and family's rep via his skillz on the mic.
Pirandello would've eaten this up in cloud covered spoon with Samuel Beckett hydrogen sauce
Yet it seems extremely plausible that characters in this farcical saga would actually have names like Gigolo Tony & Lacey Lace.
Eurovision 2009: The Semi Final of Death
A fun fact/pun: Channel 1’s name in Russian is “Pervy Kanal.” Yes, that most likely just means “first channel,’ but it does make for a good Anglophone joke.
Anyway, there’s a bit more preshow fanfare on C1R (worldwide), as they have a panel (an all male panel) talking about the upcoming entries. They find li’l Belarussian-Norwegian Alexander a source of much comedy. I find it particularly hilarious that few of these men are in shape. It’s like watching The Sopranos on The View. One of the panelists looks very similar to Chris Lilley of Summer Heights High fame, and Lilley’s so talented that I wouldn’t be surprised if it really is him.
The panel also finds Lithuania’s Sasha Son particularly funny, from what I can ascertain the jokes revolve around his name and perceived femininity. Yet when they get to Will from 2006 (aka Sakis Rouvas), no effeminate jokes and he’s one of the most plucked and preened men in this round. (Only Adokzoli/Zoliadok or ZsA ZsA from Hungary is in the same category.)
In near total contrast to Spanish television, these guys go through the entries with near rapid speed. I gather because there’s only so many jokes you can make around “it’s cheap with a funny named performer.” Or because they just want to stare at the lewd weirdness that is the preview for Anti-Crisis Girl.
The ad break promotes Anastasia which is rather interesting since C1R has gone on record as not being interested in hosting again. I also have to say that based on the promos that they are for their own shows, it shows that they are the most popular (and one would assume lucrative) networks. They could certainly teach most of the US networks a thing or two.
Back to Sopranoskii, some Jm J. Bullock lookalike has joined them and the discussion gets heated. I’m thinking they’re making predictions or just rallying around the national entry. Hold on…they’re actually playing it…pub band style.
And with that the actual show starts. Oooh, C1R gives us two commentators: one male and one female. Both of them are very alert and pleasant.
The opening number for Semifinal 2 is a bunch of Russian folk covers of Eurovision hits. The caractures playing the instruments are joined by assorted breakdancers and folk dancers spinning around LED Russian dolls. Yes, Virginia, you are going to get a big dose of Russian culture whether you want to or not.
My god, they actually had people dancing in bear costumes. To Dima Evita’s Believe, no less.
Christ, I forgot that we have to deal with Natty & Andy again. Their hair has actually gotten bigger since Tuesday. Andy is toned down so far and I pray he will keep it relatively sane. Natty looks like an insane pageant girl. I think she’ll be the troublemaker this time around.
Anyway, same incomprehensible postcards as before.
Croatia: Igor and the backing singers (all women) are all in black. All of them sexing it up. Andrea enters in white…because she’s not meant to look slutty. Seriously, Igor looks like a letch. As for the song, well, think a B+ version of the 2007 winner. It’s punched up vocally, but not there emotionally. In fact, it’s over before you realize it.
Ireland:A bunch of flashing lights, guitars, and synth announce the arrival of the Irish entry. It’s quite catchy and cute, and certainly gets your attention. By the way, all the girls are in black East Village gear. They also look more interesting than the vamps for Croatia. If this were not the 2nd performance of the night, I’d say “dark horse.” Better audience response than Croatia.
Latvia: The Latvian postcard says “borscht.” Haha. Now I like this song way better than Et Cetera, but Intars’s performance is noticeably weaker than the one that proceeded it. His voice is conveying the emotion, but his face is stoic. The women singing backup…hell, everyone singing backup is doing a good job, but the song really relies on Intars, and I just don’t think he’s doing the business, although during the final 1/3 he really brings the crazy that the song requires, in my view. Decent audience reaction, mind you this is the only full Russian language song in the entire contest.
Serbia: A bunch of bald headed men throwing a diva about while some man with a peroxide afro sings a comedic song in Serbian about shoes. It’s certainly absurd comedy, but honestly it leaves me rather cold. Not to mention Ukraine pretty much has the absurdist vote locked up. That said, thank god the Serbians went upbeat for once. Russian commentators remain neutral.
Poland: The postcard gives us the Russian word for “party,” which is the last thing the Polish entry is. Lidia has got an interesting voice, but this is still Isis Gee part 2, albeit with a better stage show. There’s some ballet dancers doing light bondage, and the backing singers are dressed like a church choir. In fact there’s so much flowing fabric I’m surprised they didn’t have the wind machine running. There’s really nothing all that bad with the song (final notes excepted), but there’s nothing remarkable either.
Norway: Will he live up to the hype? Well, he did get “babushka” for his postcard. Alexander grins at the beginning and I realize that smirk will not leave his face for the rest of the song. The backing dancers are flawless as are the backing singers and the staging as well. The song is just too damn cute for its own good though. But yes, he’ll qualify. Doesn’t change the fact that I find his perpetual impish grin obnoxious. Crowd goes wild, nonetheless.
Ad break, wherein Raffelson Bank promotes the fact that it’s the official bank of Eurovision. There’s also a slew of other adverts as well, so I pretty much figure there’s no way I’m going to see any filler (read: Dmitry) action beyond table scraps.
Cyprus: Interesting staging for Firefly. They have decided to work the little girl in a fantasy world angle. The crowd starts applauding at random spots, why I don’t know. I don’t quite get what’s remarkable about three people doing calisthenics on white illuminated boxes. Vocally, Christina is not strong, but (and this is very smart on their part) the backing singers are. It’s no Stronger Every Minute, but having her say “jump” while looking like a Disney heroine may save Cyprus.
Slovakia: Hmm “Medved” is Russian for “bear.” Explains a lot. The difference in style and maturity is very apparent. The Slovaks have decided to go for sexy and dramatic, which is appropriate since they’re both actors. I did not care that much about this number before, but good lord, they have sold me on it big time. Kamil & Nela clearly get what they are singing about, and to be blunt about it, they are both scorching hot to look at. Crowd goes wild. I think Slovakia is now in contention.
Denmark: ”Ded moroz” is Russian for “Santa Claus.” Hahaha. Ronan Keatingsson sings his ditty pretty much straight forward, although I could do without the smirking. Or the “I gotta go to the bathroom” kind of stomping. The song tries to rock, but tries to do it softly. In the hands of Nickleback or Creed, it might work. Keatingsson & Co.? Not so much. The crowd applauds the pyrotechnics, but I’m still reeling from the Slovaks kicking butt.
More Natty & Andy. And I swear their hair continues to get bigger. What sort of carbon footpoint are these two going to leave?
Russian commentators talk over them. I like the Russian commentators.
Slovenia: The song seems somewhat faster in tempo, which quite frankly a nearly instrumental number needs. Martina starts her singing in Slovene and in silhouette, but I also make note of how telegenic Quartissimo is. When Martina stomps out (singing in English, and vocally strong) there is no “wow” from the audience. It’s pretty decent performance, but Slovenia will definitely need the jury save. (Unless people think they’re voting for Slovakia.)
Hungary: More totty, and ZsA ZsA is taking his cues from Paul Oscar. Unfortunately he’s not in the best voice from the start. Nonetheless I doubt his votes will come from his singing voice. He’s basically sexing it up and relatively successfully. Having scantily clad female backers helps as well. Still, kind of a letdown.
Azerbaijan: Cheers for Azerbaijan. Why? I don’t know. If you’ve seen all the Macedonian entries from 2005 to 2007, you pretty much have the Azeri version here. It’s CIS reggaeton. Aysel does a great job selling the song, Arash comes across as rather annoying. I think they might qualify, but the overall feeling I get from the performance is “not bad.” Russian commentators not all that impressed either.
Greece: Will gets “Good Luck” in Russian as his postcard. Crowd goes wild. Again, Sakis loves to show some skin without giving the whole lot away. The staging and the outfits basically boil down to one thing: let’s stare at Sakis’s body. He’s the only one dressed in white (the very skilled backing singers/performers are in black), and he’s the only one allowed to jump. Not to mention he ends it standing on top of platform with the Greek flag. Yes, we get it: you’re hot and Greek. Don’t worry, you’re getting through. (Probably at ZsA ZsA’s expense.)
Lithuania: Well, Sasha has certainly improved his English pronunciation. He starts out playing a piano, and the overall staging is simple, like a Justin Timberlake ballad. (It’s pretty obvious that’s the vote and feel they are going for.) The backing singers blend very well with his voice. When he switches languages, however, the song really comes alive. There is an amazing final shot of him on bended knee with the word “HOPE” blazing behind him. Another probable qualifier.
Moldova: Could we please have an ad break? Bugger, it’s Moldova. Anyway, this is basically the Norwegian entry sung by a woman and with liberal percussion. Or perhaps to phrase it better, the Moldovan version of Wild Dances. Nelly switches to English midway through, but I just see a bunch of people flinging themselves about. She is in excellent voice, but is it distinctive enough to make it through? I don’t think so. Close, but this is a rough Semi.
Albania: Crowd applauds, and I’m rather perplexed as to why. Kejsi is dressed like a B-grade Kalomira clone. She also looks stunned for the majority of the song. Now, let’s address the other things going onstage: namely the man in green plastic wrap and the two demonic looking male twins break dancing. I understand they are going for a dreamlike theme, but this is just weird. Possible contender though.
Thank god, ad break! Although I’m glad I was able to catch the Albanian absurdity.
Ukraine: “shick” is “glamour” in Russian, apparently. Svetty starts by spinning around in the middle of a “hell wheel.” I don’t if I can adequately explain what is going on. She’s doing something close to singing while a bunch of bare-chested men in Roman soldier gear march around flinging her about. And there’s also two women in silver and on some sort of platform singing backup. Svetty does her drum solo (flanked by Ukrainian flags). The music gets very loud and the shots more rapid as the song just ends. The crowd is just as stupefied. Nonetheless, I think she’s going through.
Estonia: Well “Gagarin” is “Gagarin.’ No kidding? Estonia’s chances of qualifying are considerably lifted by the fact that their staging is simple and dramatic (which I think is the theme of this semi). Sandra sings with conviction and a slight sultriness. The fact that it is in Estonian actually is a major plus, because the whole impression I get is “exotic mystery,” which is rather appropriate for a song about nomads. Crowd gives it a good roar.
Netherlands: My god, last song already? Wow, this semi has just flown by. The Toppers certainly shine judging from the sparkles on their outfits. The Rubenesque backing singers only add to the wholesome fun of the song. Surprisingly, I finally get this song: it’s all about seeing your inner fabulous light, so to speak. The crowd gives it a good roar, but you never can tell with the last song why they’re roaring with approval.
Good grief, Natty & Andy again. Andy literally drags Natty to do the ceremonial button pressing. Natty is again doing the bimbo thing, not quite successfully though. God bless the Russian commentators for talking over them.
Recap: Croatia bland yet slutty (except for Andrea)…Ireland rocks with ambition…Latvia not as crazy as needed…Serbia too crazy for its own good…Poland is an island of relative sanity…Norway obnoxiously perky verging on cocky…Cyprus better than you’d think…Slovakia flat out amazing(although they chose the wrong bit for the recap)…Denmark bland and unassuming…Slovenia more traditional than you’d think..Hungary sultry if not vocally strong…Azerbaijan does reggaeton…Greece shows ZsA ZsA how its done…Lithuania quite stirring towards the end…Moldova dances and dances but goes ultimately nowhere…Albania needs to lay off the opium particularly around teenage girls…Ukraine ditto full stop…Estonia stirring and dramatic…The Netherlands is wholesome fun and that never hurts at Eurovision.
Andy apparently is still screaming, but the Russian commentators are louder, because they are having a bit of a serious discussion about who will go through. Meanwhile we see the artists commentating on the graffiti art made for the contest. It’s surprisingly more boring to watch than that description implied.
Recap again: Croatia still bland…Ireland stronger…Intars might actually do the business on second reflection…Serbia still absurd…Poland same…Alexander weaker on second time…Christina’s “jump” might not save her…Slovaks strong, but with wrong excerpt…Denmark bland…Martina’s scream rather unremarkable…ZsA ZsA comes across stronger shockingly…Aysel is better than the song…Yes, Sakis you are sexy…Yes, Sasha you are deep…No Nelly, you don’t stand out as much as you should…Albania still bizarre…Svetty shockingly more coherent the second time around…Estonia a beacon of sobriety…The Netherlands makes us all feel good about ourselves.
Natty needs to kick the posterior of whoever dressed her tonight. She looks like a reject from Dynasty. They countdown the end of voting and we go to ad break. (Sigh, I wish I had gotten to see tATu on Tuesday.)
Anyway, so a couple of revisions I have to make. Biggest one, I really hope Slovakia gets through whether on votes or jury save.
Other observations:
- ZsA ZsA looks shaky for qualification.
- Alexander too even with the permagrin.
- Svetty seems more coherent than I thought, and that is not necessarily good in her case.
- Will from 2006, however is near a dead cert.
- Ditto Nederland
C1R returns from ad break in just enough time to catch the interval which is basically folk dancing from across the RF. It’s very good folk dancing, but is it tATu singing with military choir accompaniment calibre? I don’t think so. They must certainly have something big for Saturday. Apologies to the Serbs, but their final interval was a bit of a letdown.
Russian commentators respectful but not that excited by the interval. They talk over Natty & Andy, so they can do nothing wrong in my eyes. Natty does a failed joke with drawing out the final participants, and we get a preview of the finalists (again). The preview could be subtitled The UK, France, and Spain with special guests: two other countries. In fact I dare say it’s nearly already assumed to be a UK versus France race. (Although I’d truly love to see the Spanish commentator freak out if Spain wins.)
Daddy Svante tells Natty & Andy that the results are ready.
Azerbaijan makes it in. Ok, that was not entirely unexpected.
Russian commentators don’t care for Natty & Andy’s button humour either.
Croatia makes it in. Russian commentators chuckle and are kind of surprised.
Ukraine gets in. Andy screams. Natty wants those boots. (Shout out to Kelly of "ohmahgawdm shoes" fame.)
Lithuania gets in. Sasha & co. very happy, and I don’t think they got in via jury save.
Albania gets in. Ok, I think this might’ve been a jury save.
Moldova gets in. I can see how it happened, but it’s very hazy.
Denmark gets in. That might also be a jury save as well.
Estonia gets in. Hurrah!
More daft button humour. 2 countries left.
Norway gets in. Bugger, but not a shocker.
Russian commentators start talking about Sakis. The cameras show ZsA ZsA looking somewhat pissed and Marko of Serbia sticking his tongue out.
Greece gets in, and that one seriously sets the crowd crazy.
They show all the qualifiers and I can already sense a big “what the hell was that” result from the Eurosong fan world.
Personally, I say Slovakia was robbed, but they also chose the wrong bit for the recap. Yet even worse is The Netherlands not going through.
As for the rest of the qualifiers: I’m calling Croatia, Albania, or Denmark potential jury saves; Lithuania did come across very well; Moldova was such a populist song with clinical performance, I doubt it would’ve been a jury save; Ditto Azerbaijan, but reggaeton is so omnipresent in New York (it’s even used for selling cable) that it’s hard for me to see the uniqueness; Estonia was distinctive without turning people off (although it might be a jury save as well); and quite frankly Ukraine and Greece are two sides of the same coin.
I can’t honestly get too irked about these results since it was pretty much a given that this round would be a bloodbath. That said, I think Saturday will be even gorier, because some of these newly minted finalists (Albania, Romania, Moldova, Croatia, and BiH come to mind) will just drop on the scoreboard.
I cannot help but think that the winner has yet to perform.
Anyway, there’s a bit more preshow fanfare on C1R (worldwide), as they have a panel (an all male panel) talking about the upcoming entries. They find li’l Belarussian-Norwegian Alexander a source of much comedy. I find it particularly hilarious that few of these men are in shape. It’s like watching The Sopranos on The View. One of the panelists looks very similar to Chris Lilley of Summer Heights High fame, and Lilley’s so talented that I wouldn’t be surprised if it really is him.
The panel also finds Lithuania’s Sasha Son particularly funny, from what I can ascertain the jokes revolve around his name and perceived femininity. Yet when they get to Will from 2006 (aka Sakis Rouvas), no effeminate jokes and he’s one of the most plucked and preened men in this round. (Only Adokzoli/Zoliadok or ZsA ZsA from Hungary is in the same category.)
In near total contrast to Spanish television, these guys go through the entries with near rapid speed. I gather because there’s only so many jokes you can make around “it’s cheap with a funny named performer.” Or because they just want to stare at the lewd weirdness that is the preview for Anti-Crisis Girl.
The ad break promotes Anastasia which is rather interesting since C1R has gone on record as not being interested in hosting again. I also have to say that based on the promos that they are for their own shows, it shows that they are the most popular (and one would assume lucrative) networks. They could certainly teach most of the US networks a thing or two.
Back to Sopranoskii, some Jm J. Bullock lookalike has joined them and the discussion gets heated. I’m thinking they’re making predictions or just rallying around the national entry. Hold on…they’re actually playing it…pub band style.
And with that the actual show starts. Oooh, C1R gives us two commentators: one male and one female. Both of them are very alert and pleasant.
The opening number for Semifinal 2 is a bunch of Russian folk covers of Eurovision hits. The caractures playing the instruments are joined by assorted breakdancers and folk dancers spinning around LED Russian dolls. Yes, Virginia, you are going to get a big dose of Russian culture whether you want to or not.
My god, they actually had people dancing in bear costumes. To Dima Evita’s Believe, no less.
Christ, I forgot that we have to deal with Natty & Andy again. Their hair has actually gotten bigger since Tuesday. Andy is toned down so far and I pray he will keep it relatively sane. Natty looks like an insane pageant girl. I think she’ll be the troublemaker this time around.
Anyway, same incomprehensible postcards as before.
Croatia: Igor and the backing singers (all women) are all in black. All of them sexing it up. Andrea enters in white…because she’s not meant to look slutty. Seriously, Igor looks like a letch. As for the song, well, think a B+ version of the 2007 winner. It’s punched up vocally, but not there emotionally. In fact, it’s over before you realize it.
Ireland:A bunch of flashing lights, guitars, and synth announce the arrival of the Irish entry. It’s quite catchy and cute, and certainly gets your attention. By the way, all the girls are in black East Village gear. They also look more interesting than the vamps for Croatia. If this were not the 2nd performance of the night, I’d say “dark horse.” Better audience response than Croatia.
Latvia: The Latvian postcard says “borscht.” Haha. Now I like this song way better than Et Cetera, but Intars’s performance is noticeably weaker than the one that proceeded it. His voice is conveying the emotion, but his face is stoic. The women singing backup…hell, everyone singing backup is doing a good job, but the song really relies on Intars, and I just don’t think he’s doing the business, although during the final 1/3 he really brings the crazy that the song requires, in my view. Decent audience reaction, mind you this is the only full Russian language song in the entire contest.
Serbia: A bunch of bald headed men throwing a diva about while some man with a peroxide afro sings a comedic song in Serbian about shoes. It’s certainly absurd comedy, but honestly it leaves me rather cold. Not to mention Ukraine pretty much has the absurdist vote locked up. That said, thank god the Serbians went upbeat for once. Russian commentators remain neutral.
Poland: The postcard gives us the Russian word for “party,” which is the last thing the Polish entry is. Lidia has got an interesting voice, but this is still Isis Gee part 2, albeit with a better stage show. There’s some ballet dancers doing light bondage, and the backing singers are dressed like a church choir. In fact there’s so much flowing fabric I’m surprised they didn’t have the wind machine running. There’s really nothing all that bad with the song (final notes excepted), but there’s nothing remarkable either.
Norway: Will he live up to the hype? Well, he did get “babushka” for his postcard. Alexander grins at the beginning and I realize that smirk will not leave his face for the rest of the song. The backing dancers are flawless as are the backing singers and the staging as well. The song is just too damn cute for its own good though. But yes, he’ll qualify. Doesn’t change the fact that I find his perpetual impish grin obnoxious. Crowd goes wild, nonetheless.
Ad break, wherein Raffelson Bank promotes the fact that it’s the official bank of Eurovision. There’s also a slew of other adverts as well, so I pretty much figure there’s no way I’m going to see any filler (read: Dmitry) action beyond table scraps.
Cyprus: Interesting staging for Firefly. They have decided to work the little girl in a fantasy world angle. The crowd starts applauding at random spots, why I don’t know. I don’t quite get what’s remarkable about three people doing calisthenics on white illuminated boxes. Vocally, Christina is not strong, but (and this is very smart on their part) the backing singers are. It’s no Stronger Every Minute, but having her say “jump” while looking like a Disney heroine may save Cyprus.
Slovakia: Hmm “Medved” is Russian for “bear.” Explains a lot. The difference in style and maturity is very apparent. The Slovaks have decided to go for sexy and dramatic, which is appropriate since they’re both actors. I did not care that much about this number before, but good lord, they have sold me on it big time. Kamil & Nela clearly get what they are singing about, and to be blunt about it, they are both scorching hot to look at. Crowd goes wild. I think Slovakia is now in contention.
Denmark: ”Ded moroz” is Russian for “Santa Claus.” Hahaha. Ronan Keatingsson sings his ditty pretty much straight forward, although I could do without the smirking. Or the “I gotta go to the bathroom” kind of stomping. The song tries to rock, but tries to do it softly. In the hands of Nickleback or Creed, it might work. Keatingsson & Co.? Not so much. The crowd applauds the pyrotechnics, but I’m still reeling from the Slovaks kicking butt.
More Natty & Andy. And I swear their hair continues to get bigger. What sort of carbon footpoint are these two going to leave?
Russian commentators talk over them. I like the Russian commentators.
Slovenia: The song seems somewhat faster in tempo, which quite frankly a nearly instrumental number needs. Martina starts her singing in Slovene and in silhouette, but I also make note of how telegenic Quartissimo is. When Martina stomps out (singing in English, and vocally strong) there is no “wow” from the audience. It’s pretty decent performance, but Slovenia will definitely need the jury save. (Unless people think they’re voting for Slovakia.)
Hungary: More totty, and ZsA ZsA is taking his cues from Paul Oscar. Unfortunately he’s not in the best voice from the start. Nonetheless I doubt his votes will come from his singing voice. He’s basically sexing it up and relatively successfully. Having scantily clad female backers helps as well. Still, kind of a letdown.
Azerbaijan: Cheers for Azerbaijan. Why? I don’t know. If you’ve seen all the Macedonian entries from 2005 to 2007, you pretty much have the Azeri version here. It’s CIS reggaeton. Aysel does a great job selling the song, Arash comes across as rather annoying. I think they might qualify, but the overall feeling I get from the performance is “not bad.” Russian commentators not all that impressed either.
Greece: Will gets “Good Luck” in Russian as his postcard. Crowd goes wild. Again, Sakis loves to show some skin without giving the whole lot away. The staging and the outfits basically boil down to one thing: let’s stare at Sakis’s body. He’s the only one dressed in white (the very skilled backing singers/performers are in black), and he’s the only one allowed to jump. Not to mention he ends it standing on top of platform with the Greek flag. Yes, we get it: you’re hot and Greek. Don’t worry, you’re getting through. (Probably at ZsA ZsA’s expense.)
Lithuania: Well, Sasha has certainly improved his English pronunciation. He starts out playing a piano, and the overall staging is simple, like a Justin Timberlake ballad. (It’s pretty obvious that’s the vote and feel they are going for.) The backing singers blend very well with his voice. When he switches languages, however, the song really comes alive. There is an amazing final shot of him on bended knee with the word “HOPE” blazing behind him. Another probable qualifier.
Moldova: Could we please have an ad break? Bugger, it’s Moldova. Anyway, this is basically the Norwegian entry sung by a woman and with liberal percussion. Or perhaps to phrase it better, the Moldovan version of Wild Dances. Nelly switches to English midway through, but I just see a bunch of people flinging themselves about. She is in excellent voice, but is it distinctive enough to make it through? I don’t think so. Close, but this is a rough Semi.
Albania: Crowd applauds, and I’m rather perplexed as to why. Kejsi is dressed like a B-grade Kalomira clone. She also looks stunned for the majority of the song. Now, let’s address the other things going onstage: namely the man in green plastic wrap and the two demonic looking male twins break dancing. I understand they are going for a dreamlike theme, but this is just weird. Possible contender though.
Thank god, ad break! Although I’m glad I was able to catch the Albanian absurdity.
Ukraine: “shick” is “glamour” in Russian, apparently. Svetty starts by spinning around in the middle of a “hell wheel.” I don’t if I can adequately explain what is going on. She’s doing something close to singing while a bunch of bare-chested men in Roman soldier gear march around flinging her about. And there’s also two women in silver and on some sort of platform singing backup. Svetty does her drum solo (flanked by Ukrainian flags). The music gets very loud and the shots more rapid as the song just ends. The crowd is just as stupefied. Nonetheless, I think she’s going through.
Estonia: Well “Gagarin” is “Gagarin.’ No kidding? Estonia’s chances of qualifying are considerably lifted by the fact that their staging is simple and dramatic (which I think is the theme of this semi). Sandra sings with conviction and a slight sultriness. The fact that it is in Estonian actually is a major plus, because the whole impression I get is “exotic mystery,” which is rather appropriate for a song about nomads. Crowd gives it a good roar.
Netherlands: My god, last song already? Wow, this semi has just flown by. The Toppers certainly shine judging from the sparkles on their outfits. The Rubenesque backing singers only add to the wholesome fun of the song. Surprisingly, I finally get this song: it’s all about seeing your inner fabulous light, so to speak. The crowd gives it a good roar, but you never can tell with the last song why they’re roaring with approval.
Good grief, Natty & Andy again. Andy literally drags Natty to do the ceremonial button pressing. Natty is again doing the bimbo thing, not quite successfully though. God bless the Russian commentators for talking over them.
Recap: Croatia bland yet slutty (except for Andrea)…Ireland rocks with ambition…Latvia not as crazy as needed…Serbia too crazy for its own good…Poland is an island of relative sanity…Norway obnoxiously perky verging on cocky…Cyprus better than you’d think…Slovakia flat out amazing(although they chose the wrong bit for the recap)…Denmark bland and unassuming…Slovenia more traditional than you’d think..Hungary sultry if not vocally strong…Azerbaijan does reggaeton…Greece shows ZsA ZsA how its done…Lithuania quite stirring towards the end…Moldova dances and dances but goes ultimately nowhere…Albania needs to lay off the opium particularly around teenage girls…Ukraine ditto full stop…Estonia stirring and dramatic…The Netherlands is wholesome fun and that never hurts at Eurovision.
Andy apparently is still screaming, but the Russian commentators are louder, because they are having a bit of a serious discussion about who will go through. Meanwhile we see the artists commentating on the graffiti art made for the contest. It’s surprisingly more boring to watch than that description implied.
Recap again: Croatia still bland…Ireland stronger…Intars might actually do the business on second reflection…Serbia still absurd…Poland same…Alexander weaker on second time…Christina’s “jump” might not save her…Slovaks strong, but with wrong excerpt…Denmark bland…Martina’s scream rather unremarkable…ZsA ZsA comes across stronger shockingly…Aysel is better than the song…Yes, Sakis you are sexy…Yes, Sasha you are deep…No Nelly, you don’t stand out as much as you should…Albania still bizarre…Svetty shockingly more coherent the second time around…Estonia a beacon of sobriety…The Netherlands makes us all feel good about ourselves.
Natty needs to kick the posterior of whoever dressed her tonight. She looks like a reject from Dynasty. They countdown the end of voting and we go to ad break. (Sigh, I wish I had gotten to see tATu on Tuesday.)
Anyway, so a couple of revisions I have to make. Biggest one, I really hope Slovakia gets through whether on votes or jury save.
Other observations:
- ZsA ZsA looks shaky for qualification.
- Alexander too even with the permagrin.
- Svetty seems more coherent than I thought, and that is not necessarily good in her case.
- Will from 2006, however is near a dead cert.
- Ditto Nederland
C1R returns from ad break in just enough time to catch the interval which is basically folk dancing from across the RF. It’s very good folk dancing, but is it tATu singing with military choir accompaniment calibre? I don’t think so. They must certainly have something big for Saturday. Apologies to the Serbs, but their final interval was a bit of a letdown.
Russian commentators respectful but not that excited by the interval. They talk over Natty & Andy, so they can do nothing wrong in my eyes. Natty does a failed joke with drawing out the final participants, and we get a preview of the finalists (again). The preview could be subtitled The UK, France, and Spain with special guests: two other countries. In fact I dare say it’s nearly already assumed to be a UK versus France race. (Although I’d truly love to see the Spanish commentator freak out if Spain wins.)
Daddy Svante tells Natty & Andy that the results are ready.
Azerbaijan makes it in. Ok, that was not entirely unexpected.
Russian commentators don’t care for Natty & Andy’s button humour either.
Croatia makes it in. Russian commentators chuckle and are kind of surprised.
Ukraine gets in. Andy screams. Natty wants those boots. (Shout out to Kelly of "ohmahgawdm shoes" fame.)
Lithuania gets in. Sasha & co. very happy, and I don’t think they got in via jury save.
Albania gets in. Ok, I think this might’ve been a jury save.
Moldova gets in. I can see how it happened, but it’s very hazy.
Denmark gets in. That might also be a jury save as well.
Estonia gets in. Hurrah!
More daft button humour. 2 countries left.
Norway gets in. Bugger, but not a shocker.
Russian commentators start talking about Sakis. The cameras show ZsA ZsA looking somewhat pissed and Marko of Serbia sticking his tongue out.
Greece gets in, and that one seriously sets the crowd crazy.
They show all the qualifiers and I can already sense a big “what the hell was that” result from the Eurosong fan world.
Personally, I say Slovakia was robbed, but they also chose the wrong bit for the recap. Yet even worse is The Netherlands not going through.
As for the rest of the qualifiers: I’m calling Croatia, Albania, or Denmark potential jury saves; Lithuania did come across very well; Moldova was such a populist song with clinical performance, I doubt it would’ve been a jury save; Ditto Azerbaijan, but reggaeton is so omnipresent in New York (it’s even used for selling cable) that it’s hard for me to see the uniqueness; Estonia was distinctive without turning people off (although it might be a jury save as well); and quite frankly Ukraine and Greece are two sides of the same coin.
I can’t honestly get too irked about these results since it was pretty much a given that this round would be a bloodbath. That said, I think Saturday will be even gorier, because some of these newly minted finalists (Albania, Romania, Moldova, Croatia, and BiH come to mind) will just drop on the scoreboard.
I cannot help but think that the winner has yet to perform.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Eurovision 2009: Day/Night Two The Review Preshow
Fears of watching the show online have been solved! I am watching Russian coverage courtesy of Channel 1's Worldwide network (C1R worldwide).
I start talking about Ukraine and all of a sudden I think about over the top kitschy songs and performances.
Unfortunately my Russian is minimal to nonexistant*, so I won't be getting much help from the commentator.
* I barely recall any of my Beginner's Ukrainian either, so language family help won't be happening either.
Onto who I'm hoping gets saved:
- Latvia (traffic issues as a metaphor for love in the modern world with a late 80s progressive rock feel...it's like nectar to me)
- Hungary (eye candy with a good song, he ought to be able to walk it)
- Greece (see Hungary, plus C1R's news report featured rehearsal clips from it liberally)
- Estonia (they will need all the help they can, given their place between Ukraine and the Netherlands)
- The Netherlands (again, unlikely that they'll need it but I can see NL being at the tipping point between making it in comfortably and needing a jury save)
- Ireland (just so that we don't have to risk the Irish voting public thinking that 1980s-90s dreary ballads are the only dead certs for them)
As campy and over-the-top as Anti-Crisis Girl** is (both musically and visually), I think Svetty & Co. are getting through even though the staging is even more OTT than Illusion. As I see it, Ukraine has been working since 2003 to send the most elaborate number in Eurovision history without turning off voters (because you just know the juries are not interested in saving big stage shows).
**Great way to cover up the fact that the song must have been written with the Ukrainian final back in February in mind as opposed to the Eurosong in May.
That said, the Ukrainian run of top 3 placings at the final will end this year.
And now to close out the preshow here's Shingo Katori...in drag...with James Brown (approximately 2 minutes in)
I start talking about Ukraine and all of a sudden I think about over the top kitschy songs and performances.
Wednesday Jukebox enjoys some good hype (part two)
And now here's the answer.
I have to say, I'm rather impressed with the final product. The video and teasers also make a sly comment on the state of the Korean Pop music scene.
I have to say, I'm rather impressed with the final product. The video and teasers also make a sly comment on the state of the Korean Pop music scene.
Wednesday Jukebox enjoys some good hype
This is how to tease a debut. The debut of Again was promoted via 2 teasers. Guess whether Again is a woman, a girl group, a rapper, a male singer, or a boyband. The answer will be revealed in 1 hour.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Eurovision 2009: The Nice Semi-Final
I must say that RTP is very different animal than TVE. There’s what I would call a light-hearted seriousness to their news bulletin and overall presentation. There’s also no puff piece about Flor-de-lis, this year’s Portuguese entrant.
Before you know it, we see a bunch of letters floating across
We get a recap of Russian victories on the world stage: Dima “You Must Love Me” Bilan winning last year, the UEFA cup, Miss World, etc.
Natty & Andy go in the crowd. The crowd pretty much ignores them as they do the countdown to the end of voting.
Eurovision 2009: Day/Night One The Review Pre-Show
I almost can't believe it's here already, but yes, today is the first semi-final for Eurovision 2009.
Happy Eurovision week.
I will be covering it "live"* as per usual, and for my final Eurovision in USA post, I'll be watching it on not TVE International, but on RTP Internacional. I've swapped Spain for Portugal. I have no idea what to expect commentator-wise, I don't think RTP will have the droll and slyly sarcastic commentary that TVE has, but one holds out hope.
* In other words, unedited, but the post will go online around primetime EDT.
Sadly, I don't see TVE-I airing the 2nd semi, so it'll be online fun on Thursday.
And apparently Pooty-Poot's Sing-a-long organisers announced hosts.
The semi-finals will be presented by Natalya Vodyanova, a model, and Andrey Malakhov, who is touted as "one of the most stylish presenters on Russian television" (based on that picture at Eurovision.tv, the bar is very low). I think Natty & Andy will be their nicknames, and I have suspicion that Natty will probably do a better job than Andy.
The final will be presented by Alsou (who represented Russia in 2000 with the Britney Spears-esque Solo, and got an ultimately well-earned 2nd place) and Ivan Urgant, who is an actor and presenter (mostly labouring on some real pulpy shows, judging by his bio, but he has a good picture, and Russian ego is at stake here, so he must be something). I'm think Al & I for nicknames, but I may have to resurrect Will & Grace...because I just have a hunch they will be the Russian counterparts to Maria & Sakis.
Finally, instead of coming up with a top ten or so, I'm just going to list the ones I hope qualify:
- Montenegro
- Switzerland
- Armenia
- Finland
- Andorra
You can watch the show online at eurovision.tv.
Happy Eurovision week.
Monday, May 11, 2009
A Kiwi Rainbow
I admit that I'm quite keen to poke fun at the Kiwis, but I also have no trouble praising them either.
For example, Tamati Coffey, the out (and quite handsome) co-presenter (think Al Roker and less Matt Lauer) of TVNZ's Breakfast, has won NZ Dancing With the Stars. His chosen charity? Rainbow Youth, an organisation helping gay youth.
Since Coffey's win, the charity's website has experienced a major jump in traffic, and hopefully in donations.
Alas, I suspect the days of seeing something akin to Coffey's win and endorsement of a gay youth charity here in the US have yet to come. (I'd suspect Australia would not be that much earlier either.)
Et tu, Sam Champion & Robin Roberts?*
* And ABC is considered one of the gay friendly networks. Well, quite frankly they're all gay friendly save for NBC.
For example, Tamati Coffey, the out (and quite handsome) co-presenter (think Al Roker and less Matt Lauer) of TVNZ's Breakfast, has won NZ Dancing With the Stars. His chosen charity? Rainbow Youth, an organisation helping gay youth.
Since Coffey's win, the charity's website has experienced a major jump in traffic, and hopefully in donations.
Alas, I suspect the days of seeing something akin to Coffey's win and endorsement of a gay youth charity here in the US have yet to come. (I'd suspect Australia would not be that much earlier either.)
Et tu, Sam Champion & Robin Roberts?*
* And ABC is considered one of the gay friendly networks. Well, quite frankly they're all gay friendly save for NBC.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Believe it or not: Eurovision Week is Next Week
Be very afraid.
Ukraine isn't interested in winning, they just want to outdo Russia, which will not be an issue this year.
Ukraine isn't interested in winning, they just want to outdo Russia, which will not be an issue this year.
Friday, May 08, 2009
Morning Show Presenters Gone Wild
One thing I have come to appreciate about Australian media is that the networks only just barely try to hide their contempt for one another. (As opposed to here in the US where the modus operandi is to ignore each other's existence publicly beyond the phrase "another network.")
Case in point: The recent "Was Karl Stefanovic Drunk on Today?" kerfuffle which appeared on Seven's Today Tonight recently.
Some background: Today airs on Nine and is the former morning show ratings champ. Its arch rival is Sunrise (which is affiliated with NBC's Today Show--just to confuse matters) which airs on Seven. Think of this story as if Dateline covered one of those Good Morning America Ken dolls slurring their words the day after the Emmys. Yet I don't think that even Dateline would show their fangs as much as Today Tonight does.
For the record, I think he was drunk...no matter what he says. It's like he's the reverse of Tsuyoshi "What's Wrong With Being Naked (and tweaked)?" Kusanagi"
Case in point: The recent "Was Karl Stefanovic Drunk on Today?" kerfuffle which appeared on Seven's Today Tonight recently.
Some background: Today airs on Nine and is the former morning show ratings champ. Its arch rival is Sunrise (which is affiliated with NBC's Today Show--just to confuse matters) which airs on Seven. Think of this story as if Dateline covered one of those Good Morning America Ken dolls slurring their words the day after the Emmys. Yet I don't think that even Dateline would show their fangs as much as Today Tonight does.
For the record, I think he was drunk...no matter what he says. It's like he's the reverse of Tsuyoshi "What's Wrong With Being Naked (and tweaked)?" Kusanagi"
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Fringe Benefits
Fringe has survived its first season and will battle on again, according to Tim Cuprisin of The Journal Sentinel.
NBC plays coy with their new lineup
I've said this before, and I'll say it again, "I have no idea what on earth is going on over at the Peacock."
They have not completely finalised it (because honestly drawing out suspense is easier than creating decent programming), but the lineup includes:
They have not completely finalised it (because honestly drawing out suspense is easier than creating decent programming), but the lineup includes:
- Heroes
- Southland
- that anemic Amy Poehler sitcom
- 6 episodes of Saturday Night Live Weekend Update Thursday (trying see if that magic works without a national election)
- a show about paramedics in San Francisco (but Peter Berg is behind it, so it might not be woeful)
- another attempt to turn the 1989 film Parenthood into a television series (previous attempt in 1990)
- a limited run series about a post-apocalyptic Earth.
- a sitcom about a dating coach who has her own dating issues. (Miss Match redux)
- a sitcom set in a community college with Joel McHale and Chevy Chase. (Mmmm...C-list.)
- Jay Leno's pitiful refusal to go into that dark night of retirement.
Law & Order: SVU is back, although it's still up in the air if Meloni & Hargitay will be back. Friday Night Lights, The Office, 30 Rock, and The Celebrity Apprentice(?) are also returning.
They won't talk midseason shows because that would hurt Jay Leno's feelings...or they just don't have a sodding clue about those either.
For a less cynical view of the new NBC lineup, you can read the AP article on MSNBC's website or go to NBC's fall preview minisite for full-on boosterism.
Monday, May 04, 2009
Hear Hear!
Switching to matters Australian for a bit today, yesterday the Logies (Australian Emmys) were held.
Amongst the winners were Gyton Grantley & Kat Stewart who played mafia king & queen Carl & Roberta Williams in the first season of Underbelly. Well deserved, in my opinion.
I find Kat Stewart's statement hopeful:
The thing about Underbelly is that it has reinforced that Australians like Australian stories, and they like them to be told well.
The key word being "well."
Amongst the winners were Gyton Grantley & Kat Stewart who played mafia king & queen Carl & Roberta Williams in the first season of Underbelly. Well deserved, in my opinion.
I find Kat Stewart's statement hopeful:
The thing about Underbelly is that it has reinforced that Australians like Australian stories, and they like them to be told well.
The key word being "well."
Sunday, May 03, 2009
TV Show Deathmatch 2009
Yesterday, the Daily News's David Hinckley gave his picks for which shows should make it to next season, and which ones shouldn't. I agree with many of his picks, particularly in respect to keeping The Unusuals, Better Off Ted, Everybody Hates Chris, and Castle. I'd also add on a few more.
Save:
Save:
- Ghost Whisperer: The only disagreement I have with Hinckley, who called it pass its freshness date. I think it's got one more season in it. Killing off and "resurrecting" Jim (David Conrad) has livened up his character beyond the mere sympathetic husband archetype. That said, I just get the feeling that Conrad wants to switch from regular to recurring. The addition of Jamie Kennedy has also helped the show, mostly because you don't get the same potential love triangle setup they were trying to do with Jay Mohr's professor.
- The Game: I stumbled across The Game when BET started airing episodes midday, and I think it's got a very good premise. The only problem is that over 3 seasons now, the show still feels like its trying to find its direction. The writers keep bringing together and breaking apart the central couple of Melanie & Derwin, and putting the focus on their relative immaturity. This may be what it's like in the real world, but for a primetime sitcom, it just drags. I also think that they are ignoring real comedic skills with the supporting cast (especially Wendy Raquel Robinson and Coby Bell). According this article, the creator is considering saving the show by turning it into an hourlong comedy-drama (The CW is apparently trying to make their whole slate of shows hourlong dramas). I don't think this is a good idea on The CW's part nor on [creator]Mara Brock Akil's. I'd suggest focusing more on the comedic side and leaving it as is, just to have some genre diversity on The CW. If that's not possible, I'd try to move it to BET for one or two more seasons.
- Without A Trace: CBS has basically created a Cold Case vs. Without A Trace situation due to the economic climate. I'd rather both stayed, but if there has to be a cut, I vote Without A Trace, which has one of the best casts on television, and manages to have a procedural show with actual character depth and back story.
- Fringe: It seems like the show is actually getting somewhere (as opposed to the early episodes where it was more shock and awe as opposed to story), and I think it deserves another season. I do think though that the premise might not last more than one or two more seasons.
Axe
- Cold Case: Some people like those ending montages, but I'm not one of them. I think the show needs to get a touch grittier and less PG, more PG-13. It airs at 9 pm (ET), you don't have to be that wholesome. (Though again, I'd rather see it survive, but not at the expense of Without A Trace.)
- Gary Unmarried: Just basically a poor retread of Everybody Loves Raymond.
- The majority of NBC's programming: I don't know what they're doing at the Peacock, but the Law & Order family is about all they've got going for them these days.
Friday, May 01, 2009
The May Day 2009 Post
Actually a map. Just something to think about this May Day/Labour Day.
The graph appears on the BBC News's website as part of an In Depth report on Globalisation. This is from the sidebar to the graph:
The world distribution of wealth and income is highly unequal. The richest 10% of households in the world have as much yearly income as the bottom 90%.
Wealth - total assets rather than yearly income – is even more unequal. The rich are concentrated in the US, Europe and Japan, with the richest 1% alone owning 40% of the world's wealth.
Poverty, on the other hand, is widespread across the developing countries - which have five-sixths of the world's population. But it has fallen sharply in China.
Kusanagi-gate: A Catchphrase Will Set You Free
Japan's already catchphrase crazy media culture can add another one to the list:
What's Wrong With Being Naked?
The slogan has already been transferred to t-shirts and is selling quite well, according to Reuters.
Club T can probably take all of those profits for themselves as Johnny's is unlikely to ask for a piece of the pie, because it just wouldn't look right. (They are in ignore it--and ignore Tsuyoshi--mode at the moment.)
Meanwhile, Tsuyoshi gets all charges dropped (even with a blood alcohol eight times the legal limit)* because the police felt he was sorry enough...and he has fans rabid enough that they would threaten to attack the station and bust him out.
Happy May Day.
* and I still think he had some additional chemical aid.
What's Wrong With Being Naked?
The slogan has already been transferred to t-shirts and is selling quite well, according to Reuters.
Club T can probably take all of those profits for themselves as Johnny's is unlikely to ask for a piece of the pie, because it just wouldn't look right. (They are in ignore it--and ignore Tsuyoshi--mode at the moment.)
Meanwhile, Tsuyoshi gets all charges dropped (even with a blood alcohol eight times the legal limit)* because the police felt he was sorry enough...and he has fans rabid enough that they would threaten to attack the station and bust him out.
Happy May Day.
* and I still think he had some additional chemical aid.
Good luck, Wisconsin
I guess Public Enemies must be a better movie than Australia, because apparently Wisconsin's Department of Tourism, and the ones from the other nearby states (Illinois, Indiana) plus one that may make sense to Dillinger history buffs (Arizona) are banking that people are going to be dying to see the locales featured in the film.
It may be good, it may be bad, but after the Australia debacle, I can't help but be a bit cynical.
It may be good, it may be bad, but after the Australia debacle, I can't help but be a bit cynical.
The Goodbye NYC, Goodbye USA Theme Festival: Day Three
Despite traveling to New York City frequently since my toddler years, I reckon that the real inspiration for moving here was not for theatre, not because I saw Seinfeld/Sex & The City/or even Throb, but because of MTV's Street Party.
How I stumbled across Street Party is mostly because I outgrew ABC's lineup of syrupy sweet sitcoms on Friday. (Full House, Family Matters, etc.) I wanted to feel a bit more sophisticated and hip, and a 2 hour block of dance music certainly fit the bill.
I don't know if this was the first ever video I saw on Street Party, but I certainly remember it like it was.
I know that time moves forward, but if I have nostalgia for any period of time, it was for the early 1990s (1990-94), at least musically. It was a time when dance music had old school rap, the big dance producers, and the beginnings of what would develop into today's electropop.
The funny thing about nostalgia, is that you can start colouring everything differently just because of the passage of time. Take the classic Pump Up The Volume. When it first came out, I thought the video was dull, and the song just kind of dragged. I see it now and I remember being back in the living room of my home dancing, because it's Friday and the weekend was just starting.
I still never bought the single though. A single I did buy and played to death was Everybody Everybody.
The US didn't get that flower happy version. No, we got what I will go on record (no pun intended) as the fiercer of the two. We got the Le Freak mix.
When that whole scandal came out about how Loleatta Holloway's vocals were used by both Black Box and C+C Music Factory, but not "visualised" by her, my little 11 year old self was just stunned. I truly think Katrin sold Everybody Everybody like nobody's business. To this day, whenever I try to do stare someone or something down I think of the way she mouthed "ow" at the beginning of the video.
As for C+C, I did not care all that much for Gonna Make You Sweat, but Do You Wanna Get Funky (which featured Loleatta finally getting her due) will always be killer in my book. It was a damn shame that the video never got as much play as I think it deserved. (But hey, it was 1994 and we were about to become a flannel nation.)
It's rather remarkable the songs that have stuck in my head from this period, but I suspect that it is mostly due to the fact that from 1988 to 1994, dance music was an escape for me. It took away a lot of the isolation and conformity that surrounded me in Wisconsin and gave me 4 to 6 minutes in my own personal Emerald City.
Note that I definitely am saying dance music instead of house, because at this time you did have danceable rap, which is damn near non-existent these days. I regret never being in a club when this song came on. (He name checked Lanie Kazan!)
I may go to hell for suggesting that this is dance rap, but I'd put Slow Down in this category. (Years later, I used to love saying "smack you with hose full of sand.") The message of course totally went over my head as a preteen.
And of course, Kid'N'Play (their cartoon on NBC aired once in Milwaukee before being pulled).
Martin Lawrence owes them. Big Time.
One last one, because it would be a sin for me to not include some Bobby Brown. (This video, along with Jane Child's I Don't Wanna Fall In Love contributed to my view of New York, and why I was somewhat dismayed to find post-Giuliani NYC so anti-septic.)
I could seriously dwell on this period for nigh on an eternity, but it's time to bring today's edition to a close.
Closing out today is Vanessa Williams, who in the late 1980s pulled off the greatest career resuscitation that I can ever recall. (I was also too young when the photos came out for them to even register in my mind. So she's always been a singer/actress to me.)
Her ballads are still played often these days, but I think her dance songs were pretty impressive. Hopefully she'll release some more one day.
Next time: Theme Songs A-Go-Go...and Grunge, plus the finale.
How I stumbled across Street Party is mostly because I outgrew ABC's lineup of syrupy sweet sitcoms on Friday. (Full House, Family Matters, etc.) I wanted to feel a bit more sophisticated and hip, and a 2 hour block of dance music certainly fit the bill.
I don't know if this was the first ever video I saw on Street Party, but I certainly remember it like it was.
I know that time moves forward, but if I have nostalgia for any period of time, it was for the early 1990s (1990-94), at least musically. It was a time when dance music had old school rap, the big dance producers, and the beginnings of what would develop into today's electropop.
The funny thing about nostalgia, is that you can start colouring everything differently just because of the passage of time. Take the classic Pump Up The Volume. When it first came out, I thought the video was dull, and the song just kind of dragged. I see it now and I remember being back in the living room of my home dancing, because it's Friday and the weekend was just starting.
I still never bought the single though. A single I did buy and played to death was Everybody Everybody.
The US didn't get that flower happy version. No, we got what I will go on record (no pun intended) as the fiercer of the two. We got the Le Freak mix.
When that whole scandal came out about how Loleatta Holloway's vocals were used by both Black Box and C+C Music Factory, but not "visualised" by her, my little 11 year old self was just stunned. I truly think Katrin sold Everybody Everybody like nobody's business. To this day, whenever I try to do stare someone or something down I think of the way she mouthed "ow" at the beginning of the video.
As for C+C, I did not care all that much for Gonna Make You Sweat, but Do You Wanna Get Funky (which featured Loleatta finally getting her due) will always be killer in my book. It was a damn shame that the video never got as much play as I think it deserved. (But hey, it was 1994 and we were about to become a flannel nation.)
It's rather remarkable the songs that have stuck in my head from this period, but I suspect that it is mostly due to the fact that from 1988 to 1994, dance music was an escape for me. It took away a lot of the isolation and conformity that surrounded me in Wisconsin and gave me 4 to 6 minutes in my own personal Emerald City.
Note that I definitely am saying dance music instead of house, because at this time you did have danceable rap, which is damn near non-existent these days. I regret never being in a club when this song came on. (He name checked Lanie Kazan!)
I may go to hell for suggesting that this is dance rap, but I'd put Slow Down in this category. (Years later, I used to love saying "smack you with hose full of sand.") The message of course totally went over my head as a preteen.
And of course, Kid'N'Play (their cartoon on NBC aired once in Milwaukee before being pulled).
Martin Lawrence owes them. Big Time.
One last one, because it would be a sin for me to not include some Bobby Brown. (This video, along with Jane Child's I Don't Wanna Fall In Love contributed to my view of New York, and why I was somewhat dismayed to find post-Giuliani NYC so anti-septic.)
I could seriously dwell on this period for nigh on an eternity, but it's time to bring today's edition to a close.
Closing out today is Vanessa Williams, who in the late 1980s pulled off the greatest career resuscitation that I can ever recall. (I was also too young when the photos came out for them to even register in my mind. So she's always been a singer/actress to me.)
Her ballads are still played often these days, but I think her dance songs were pretty impressive. Hopefully she'll release some more one day.
Next time: Theme Songs A-Go-Go...and Grunge, plus the finale.
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