From the "Only in Washington County, Kids" Department

Courtesy of The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel: A burglar dropped his pants while trying to flee the home of an "old, fat bartender." If that wasn't peculiar enough, the burglar also forgot the old rule that many of us were taught in school: "never go outside without clean underwear."

According to police, an officer found "a large quantity of fecal matter on the interior of the pants," according to the police report. On the threshold of the door, too. And on the porch.

And if any of you out there are aspiring porn directors, here's a scenario for you:

The burglar then rushed up the stairs and attempted to get past the 250-pound Rieger [the bartender]. The homeowner grabbed the intruder and pinned him against a wall, Rieger said. Rieger's wife, Lori, had been asleep upstairs and heard the struggle. She saw the two men near the front door and called 911.

Rieger got the intruder in a bear hug, a hold he has used as a bartender at the Knights of Columbus Hall in West Bend to stop patrons from fighting, he said. The two fell to the floor.
"I'm an old, fat bartender," the 5-foot, 8-inch Rieger said in explaining how he pinned the younger man to the floor. "I laid on top of him." Hoppe [The burglar] is described in reports as 6 foot 1, weighing 160 pounds.

Rieger is 55. Hoppe is 18.

Barely Legal Burglars will be hitting the shelves next month.

Do It Better

As you might wisely assume, the Democrat candidate reviews are being pushed back to next month--which in my view--is more appropriate. One candidate who is being dropped from being reviewed on this corner of the internet (as you also might wisely assume) is Barack Obama. Perhaps he's too green, perhaps he's being ill-advised, but he's robbing Peter (namely gays and especially black gays) to pay the Paul (bigots).

My Korean is far from fluent, but to quote Kim Hyun-Jung: Do It Better

Kim Hyun Jung - Do It Better (Live)
Uploaded by hikarufree

Politics make for strange bedfellows

Jimmy's going down! (Article courtesy of FARB)

Why do I reckon so?

When you've irked the Republicans in Ozaukee County enough to the point that one of them is labelling you "corrupt," then you are truly SOL. When you've irked them to the point that they are running a tag-team front with a Democrat to get rid of you?

You are beyond SOL.

This is the Ozaukee County political equivalent of being sent to the gulag.

Cue Busby Berkeley dance sequence.

Monday Jukebox Welcomes October

Coming up this month: Reviews of the Democratic Candidates

Now, to get this very auspicious and interesting month off, here is the Akiko Wada (make sure to read her quotes) singing Golden Time.

WORK IT!

Wada Akiko - Golden Time
Uploaded by Gligligligligli