Final Eurovision Moment of the Day: Slovenia

My anxiety can rest, all of EMA 2007 will be held while I'm away. (There will be an Atlanta post-mortem when I return.) Alas, this means I will miss my annual dose of Peter Poleš--who is reason enough for Slovenia to win soon.

Always the eager beaver, I took a listen to some of the entries on the preview show.

As expected, Alya's "Vizija" kicked major ass and she has truly gone from Slovenia's answer to Christina Aguileira to Dale Bozzio for the 21st Century.

Obviously, I'm rooting for her and it should be her year.

Even if it isn't, I have to say that this is one of the strongest EMA lineups in a long time: Nude is back with a song that isn't as strong as their 2001 entry; so are Lunapark (ditto); Diona Dimm now has a "Team" supporting her and the deepest female voice this side of Akiko Wada (only on here, children, only on here).

Other notable mentions include: Rok Cosmač--who looks suspiciously like Aaron Carter or Jesse McCartney (take your pick) , the opera-meets-house music entry from Alenka Gotar (aka the Nuša entry), Dean Vivod & Tonus Kitarus (the joke entry that is more pleasing to the ears than Alf Poier), Denis, whose staging looks like Clay Aiken meets Justin Timberlake via La Podolskaya, but whose song is chirpy and perky as hell, and Eva Černe who has Omar/Anžej spot with a song tailored for her Nuša Jr./Diana DeGarmo style.

Obviously, I want Alya, but bias aside it's Alenka, Diona, or Eva with Alya as a strong contender to pip the post. I really will be surprised if Slovenia goes for males three times in a row, but there's no jury vote this year so it's a level playing field.

Working against Eva's favour: Omar and Anžej both getting the nod last year against the popular vote.

Working against Alenka's favour: Nothing I can forsee except that it might suffer from poor staging based on the preview performance.

Working against Diona's favour: Sestre.

Working against Alya's favour: The fact that I like her.

Working in Alya's favour: Everything else.

Ok, I'm biased, but frankly, she damn well deserves it.

Eurovision 2007: She's Also Back

This tidbit must've slipped through the cracks while I was getting ready to go to Wisconsin:

Edsilia Rombley is coming back to Eurovision. What's more? She's singing in DUTCH!

Maybe it's me, but that could be interpreted as a bit of a dis to Glennis.

Selections from the Eurolaul 2007 Preview

Selections because ETV's site is painfully slow (but nonetheless very aesthetically pleasing) with the loading and I'm not going to sit through all of those songs, especially since I still can't drink for 2 more days.

Apparently, ETV called out all the pretty people (and yes, I'm including Koit Toome in that group, since Gary Barlow did set many hearts affluter in his heyday) to participate in this year's Eurolaul, which might as well have the subtitle of "You'd Better Be Able to Show Up the Finns." Believe you me, the eagerness/desperation is apparent in Eesti.

• Kristjan Kasearu & Paradise Crew - So Much to Say: Generally Estonia has provided Eurosongers with model-esque women and men that well...let's just say that Ruffus, Tanel Padar, and Ivo Liina aren't. This time around we get Kristjan Kasearu--twice--in order to make up for that deficit. And Kristjan is very handsome. (Fun Fact: Paradise Crew are not the former 2XL who danced around in the background to "Everybody" back in Copenhagen, but Soul Militia--ha!--is.) His song is...eh. It's pop/rock that would appeal to the Radio Disney set, well maybe the bit about Whiskey wouldn't. Did I mention that he's very handsome?
• Deva Deva Dance - Supreme Nature: Deva Deva Dance is one of those groups (or is it really just Arne Lauri?) that just keeps popping up in Eurolaul although one has no idea what the appeal is. To my knowledge there is no huge Indian Estonian community nor a Hare Krishna one, but Arne is hellbent on establishing some connection between Estonia and India. In my opinion, this kind of music went out with Enigma and European softcore porn from the mid 90s. I think ETV are thinking of them as a softer, gentler answer to Lordi.
• Koit Toome - Veidi Veel: Koit sounds and looks veidi veidi like Gary Barlow, even more now than he did back in '98 when he was singing about the Children of the Sea over the theme from Baywatch. (Yes, I said it. Even so, I did like "Mere Lapsed" or "Merely Lapsed" as some jokingly called it.) Now he's trying to rock out and from a hearing standpoint it works. From a visual standpoint, Koit looks as awkward as Gary Barlow when a Take That video called for intense choreography. Much like Koit trying to look tough in a bomber jacket, the song also just ends strangely.
• Laura - Sunflowers: Just feel the anonymity, it doesn't get anymore generic than someone called "Laura" singing about "Sunflowers." It's not that "Sunflowers" is a bad song, it's just that it really goes nowhere either musically or lyrically. What can you really say when the only thing that stays in your mind after hearing it is Laura's dress?
• Gerli "P!nk" Padar - Partners in Crime: First off, the song is wayyyyy better than her previous Eurolaul entry, but let's get this out of the way: she looks like Pink so much that I'm starting to wonder if Pink is Estonian. Gerli fortunately still retains her Cerys Matthews/Marianne Faithfull-esque "I-gargle-with-razor-blades-and-rubbing-alcohol" voice. Thank god that she sticks to rock where that is an asset. Despite my catty remarks, I'd like to see her win. Won't happen though.
• Vanilla Ninja - Birds of Peace: Yay! The Lindsay Lohan clones are back (minus one). It's also the return of dark, morbid lyrics that have absolutely no meaning attached to them whatsoever. (If "Cool Vibes" is about a tiger, then "Birds of Peace" is about heroin addiction?) The song isn't as atmospheric as "Cool Vibes," but Eurolaul is either theirs or Ines's to lose.
• Soul Militia - My Place: Pardon me as I laugh myself silly. Tanel & Dave's backing dancers try to go krunk. That's right, Estonian krunk music. When the Kevin Richardson lookalike raps "girl, you're making me horny" I truly did bust out laughing. But the chorus! Oh, the chorus! "Before we go to my place/Why don't you give me a taste/Slide your ass down that pole/Girl I'm about to explode." Basically a love song to a stripper. (By the way the lyric that follows goes "I don't want to sound like a perv/Nevermind, I'm a bit disturbed.") This from the country that gave us Maarja & Ivo's squicky-but-innocent seeming ballad about the sound of a necklace, and Ines's ode to being 17. Well, Estonia is clearly past the first flushes of puberty now. That said, there is no way in hell this will win.
• Ines - In Good and Bad: Ines must certainly want her privacy, since apparently she lives in New York these days. (She must be a downtowner, although I'd gladly have her as neighbour over the entitled SaTC crowd in my building.) That aside, last year Ines got shafted big time. The Euro-fans like her, and although personally I'm indifferent to "Once in a lifetime," I've liked everything else she's sung in Eurolaul. The song is again Radio Disney-esque pop/rock with a veneer of Bohemian chic, but strangely enough, Ines makes it work. Like I said, it's hers to lose.

Vanilla Ninja or Ines, with Gerli as close outsider, and Kristjan a bit further out (the man has two chances to win, so you can't discount him). I'll be shocked, but not necessarily dismayed, if Koit Toome pulls a surprise victory. If Soul Militia wins, I'll just pass out from shock.

Romanian Semi-Final 1: One Remains Optimistic

Because the one decent dance song, "Sinada" (and mark my words Romania will always send a dance song) got through to the Grand Final.

You can have your Swedish redneck nonsense, cloying multilingual love songs, Romanian country music, and whatever you'd classify "Crazy" as, but at least the one song I like out of the whole lot got through.

Because god has a sense of humour, watch "Dracula, My Love"* go straight into the final after next week's semi.

* God, I wish I was making that up. There really is a song called "Dracula, My Love" in the Romanian Semi-Final. And yes, it's another dance pop song.

The 700th Post Club Roundtable

Yes, this part of the internet has reached 700 posts and I'm celebrating it by having a roundtable of sorts. Joining me is slut--I mean--21st century courtesan Aron Slade, and our two "sou desu ne boys," who are biding their time between tanning sessions and bar opening hours.

Hikaru: First off, something light. Today's Out Hot Guy of the Day.
Aron: Eh. He could lose the spiky hair. I'd do him.
SDNB #1: Short.
Hikaru: I thought the 90s were over.
SDNB #2: Indeed.

HF: Next, the presidental field for 2008.
AS: Richardson. Obama has charisma but no ideas.
SDNB #1: Indeed.
HF: Clark? Gore?
AS: Gore isn't going to run. Not in a million years. No way will Clark run with Clinton in the mix.
SDNB #2: Indeed.
AS: You really aren't that informed are you?
HF: Richardson or Edwards. Clinton with a strong chance. I don't think we're ready for another pretty boy president. Republicans?
AS: Like anyone cares. McCain. The GOP gets their asses handed to them in '08 no matter who they run.
SDNB#1: Indeed.

HF: Oscar nominations?
AS: Crap, crap, crap, and crap.
SDNB #1: Indeed.
SDNB #2: Dreamgirls was fierce.
AS: Define "fierce."
SDNB #2: Fierce is...it's just "fierce."
AS: Retire that word.
HF: Eddie Murphy deserves a win.
AS: And he's following it up with Norbit. I'm just saying.
SDNB #2: Indeed.
HF: It's called taking the money and running with it.
AS: Whole bunch of people must be doing that. Look at that cast list! Thandie Newton?
SDNB #1: Oh no.
AS: Oh yes. Crash didn't pay enough bills.
HF: He did write it himself along with his brother.
SDNB #2: I'm just going to drool now.
HF: You either get looks or skills in life.
SDNB #1: I beg to differ.
SDNB #2: Me too.
AS: I'm just saying keeping both Johnny Gill & Mel B isn't cheap.

HF: Noah's Arc getting the boot and a movie finale? Kinda cold, I think.
AS: I think it lost its way.
SDNB #2: Indeed.
HF: It never promised to be more than what it is, a comic soap that dealt with GBM lives. Have we ever seen that before?
SDNB #1: Indeed.
AS: Stop filing your nails! Anyway, should we really celebrate blandness?
HF: Blandness is the equaliser in today's America.
AS: I think that's tragic.
HF: But true. Nobody takes you seriously until you show that you're 99.9% like them.
AS: I don't think we are.
HF: Nobody really is. We're just supposed to appear that way. Anyway, I think it's sad.
SDNB #1: Indeed.
AS: I look at it this way: Yeah, it was the first mainstream show about GBM, but it's not the first good mainstream show. Hell, the first good mainstream show about gays period has yet to air.
HF: Well, at least they didn't air The Closet.
SDNB #1/SDNB #2/AS: Indeed.

HF: Onto Eurovision.
SDNB #1: Hurray.
HF: Dmitry Koldun?
AS: Dima Bilan mk II. Just like Constantinos was Sakis Rouvas mk II in Kyiv.
SDNB #2: Indeed.
HF: The song is not bad. It starts out with this whole James Bond style.
AS: But it doesn't really build upon it.
SDNB #1: I want to see him go crazy onstage, don't you? That's what really made "Never Let You Go" work.
AS: Did it though? I thought it was just because everyone wanted to fuck him. I did.
HF: Not me.
SDNB #2: He had on a mullet. A mullet.
HF: He's not a hockey player. He ought to have just shaved it off. You can't take anyone with a mullet seriously unless they're planning on killing you.
SDNB #2: Indeed.
AS: No matter what anyone else sends out, the Swedes will place 3rd or 5th.
SDNB #1: Indeed.
HF: We haven't heard the winner yet. I say the UK places really high this year, and Portugal makes it to the final this year. Germany falls on their face if they don't send Roger Cicero.
AS: Portugal?
HF: Yes, Portugal. Think about it? Did you expect Finland to win last year? The stakes are raised big time across the board. This is no time for copycats.
SDNB #2: Indeed.

Well, that wraps up the 700th Post Club.

In The Year 2100

The Port Authority is set to take over Stewart or Newburgh International Airport up in Orange County, NY. The deal allows for PANYNJ to control Stewart until the year 2100, which made me wonder what sort of world will it be when the Port Authority's lease runs up.

Some possiblities:

• Legalised gay marriage nationwide, and a divorce rate of 42% or lower, courtesy of that fact. (NB: the current rate is 50%)
• A looser federation of the United States resembling something akin to Belgium with stronger state and/or regional governments and a federal government whose role is limited basically down to foreign and monetary policy.
• Despite that reorganisation, we have Universal Healthcare overseen by the Federal Government which the states or regions will pay into and administer so that each state/region with a surplus can give to areas that are ailing.
• Barring the discovery and implementation of a replacement for oil, we will have less flights than we do presently due to peak oil.
• An 80-90% Urban populace due to peak oil.
• Our 4th minority president is elected and no one bats an eyelash, but a gay or lesbian president has yet to be elected (although there will have been at least 2 serious contenders that get relatively close).
• An independent is elected president, and lasts one term because it's just too weird.
• Still a two party system, but it's Liberal & Conservative, since "Labour" is still a dirty word, even if the beliefs make total sense.
• At least 10-20 years of state (literally "state," in this case since the Federal Government would never participate) involvement in the economy with state-owned airlines, gas stations, electric companies, and a few state-owned telecoms in the Plains and in the South after internet access is declared a right.
• Detroit is revived and gentrified as a Midwestern San Francisco, along with the attending problems of economic disparity.
• A luddite rebellion, oddly born from an internet movement, leads to a re-establishment of local commercial arts with less state subsidy than before.
• In a surprising move, the television industry asks for a federal subsidy as the growth of DVRs lead to a severe downturn in advertiser revenue. The federal government balks and a group of states led by California, New York, Illinois, and Florida attempt to buyout one of the faltering big 4 networks. This in turn leads to the creation of an ARD style system amongst 2 of the previous big 4, while the remaining 4 stay in private hands.
• The average movie stays in theatres for 2 months, goes to pay-per-view the following month, and then to DVD two months after that.
• Movie star and entertainment executive salaries level off to $600,000 primarily due to two trends: the weakness of the entertainment industry and the devaluing of celebrity as research indicates that celebrity does not hold much pull when it comes to whether a person will see a movie.
• The filmed musical does not become obsolete, but tends to be seen more often on television than in cinemas.
• Anderson Cooper's infamous televised faux-pas ("As a gay man...") continues to be ranked high on the majority of "Most Surprising" moments.
• Jodie Foster went to her grave closeted.
• Car ownership decreases severely (in comparison to present), but mass transit skyrockets as entrepeneurs figure out how to make money using the millions of miles of freight rail tracks all over the US.
• US citizens with a passport increase, then decrease, decrease again, and then rise slightly.
• The year 2100 sees the 50th anniversary of the end of the Cuban embargo, and the 10th of Puerto Rican independence.
• DC remains the last colony on the American mainland.
• US citizens can travel freely to Iran and North Korea, the latter which has had 40 years without the KIS/KJI autocrats, and retains an open border and shared currency with South Korea (with which it is in a EU style confederation).
• The PRC & Taiwan still hate each other, but don't let it get in the way of business.
• 40% of Americans claim to have a working knowledge of spoken Chinese, 14% claim written ability. This is manifested as a generation gap since many children use it to talk behind their parents' backs.
• May Day becomes a state holiday in California, Delaware, Illinois, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, and Wisconsin.
• There are still 3 Law & Order series on television.

I'm just sayin'.

Because Theatre Is So Classy

Now, I'm happy that Dawnn Lewis is getting some work, because I always thought she was talented, but Sister Act: The Musical?

Until there is a staged musicalisation of Head or Myra Breckinridge*, I'll just continue to throw my hands up in disbelief in respect to these movie musical adaptations.

* And believe you me, they could be musicalised if there are actual book writers out there with brains that work beyond "let's set up the next song."

Piosenka dla Europy 2007: The Preview Review

Some business first: I'm going light on the Eurovision write-ups this year just because of time and work. (Those Twisted Teas don't pay for themselves.) Ergo there won't be semi by semi coverage of Norway, Spain, and--gasp--even Slovenia! Poland however made the cut, if only because TVP made it so easy and for that, I am very grateful.

First off, there are 6 Swedes in this year's Polish final, which seems odd, but the Swedes seem to be taking over any Eurovision national final they can find (Spain, Latvia, Romania, Lithuania, possibly even the UK if the Ace of Base rumours lead to something), so it make sense for the Swedish spillover to hit the shores of Poland.

Anyway, on with the videos (reviewed in the order that they are on TVP's website) !

• Bikini - Don't Judge Me: But they make it so easy for me to. Melodic Grrl Pop in the vein of Ashley Simpson/Lindsay Lohan/Hillary Duff (take your pick). Now, I like The Veronicas, and these women are not them. Oh, they get close, but the moody black & white shots and mind-numbingly slow verses only lead to a tepid rock chorus. I'd rather hear Bikini Kill frankly. On the upside, the lead singer has a very strong voice.
• Button Hackers - On My Mind: Face it, with that sort of band name you were expecting electroclash comes to Eurovision. I know I was. What [the?] Button Hackers are is Rick Astley-style dance pop--which is all right by me! The Hackers are mysteriously absent from the video which seems to involve shots of Sydney. I love the song (and the video to some degree), which means it'll probably bomb on the night, since I was in love with Kto To last year.
• Charizma - Emily: Aka Swedish entry #1. MOR pop-rock about naive Emily and the singers' desire to "show [her] another world." He is presumably not referring to the soap opera. If you've heard "Give Me Your Love," then you've heard this sung by--well--more charismatic, albeit robotic people. Seriously, the lead singer could be reciting the encyclopedia based upon the lack of emotional depth on his face.
• Mikael Erlandsson - Love in the Air: Swedish entry #2. The song sounds like Stock, Aiken, and Waterman, and Electric Light Orchestra had a love child and raised it in Sweden. The video is no great shakes either: Mikael looks like he's been ridden long and hard from too much Absolut, and why on Earth would anyone be interested in seeing him record the song in studio. CHEAP!
• Molęda - No Second Chance: None indeed. Two earnest-looking twinks sing a ballad. These are two-a-penny in any Broadway show and having a video that takes place with them on a stage isn't changing my opinion. The orchestrations and arrangements are straight out of the mid-to-late 80s and one of the boys is dressed like a reject from the Polish version of Family Ties. Even worst the song just ends. It builds up to a huge climax and there is glory note laden finale. Blech.
• Natasza - I Like It Loud: Yes, she does and I don't mind it. Natasza also likes it very Fergie, in my opinion. The video itself is pretty simple with just the tartan-clad Natasza & her go-go girls doing cartwheels while the Robert Palmer clones play brass in the background, but damn does it work. I have a sneaking suspicion that Natasza might not be able to bring it live, but she's got a good chart hit possiblity on her hands. By the way, everytime I hear the song that begins with "Hey Mr. DJ" I expect to hear either "put a record on," or "you can get me started. Everybody's ready to party...all night, all night."
• Szarmach - Open Your Mind: If Natasza is Fergie doing rock, then Ania is Fergie meets Hikaru Utada. I don't quite know what opening one's mind has to with Ania grinding up against a car like a spokesmodel, but okay. She comes off rather meek when played after Natasza, but Ania will be opening the Final...and that will work against her.
• The Jet Set - Time To Party: Not every singer/rapper combo is a Black Eyed Peas knockoff, and here is Evidence #1. The Jet Set seem more like La Bouche meets Timbaland with a heavy does of The Vengaboys. Their video is also CHEAP. I'll be honest here: if I wanted to see some skinny girl shake her thing in Daisy Dukes, I'd watch Paris Hilton's latest shenanigans. The video takes some bizarre turn into to Twenties, which may be an attempt to make a comment between the present day and the Roaring Twenties in terms of devil-may-care wildness, but it doesn't turn a bland song into a better one.
• Vino - Come in My Heart: Ok, that is one double-entendre laden title. Daughtry/Pearl Jam/Soul Asylum (take your pick) knockoff band sings a rock ballad about nostalgia all the while looking moody with blurry cameras. "Come in my heart before I'm wasted?" Are they being serious? Or is it "come in my heart before I waste it?" Either way, I think they're singing about their favourite places to have orgasms.
• Hania Stach - Regroup: Pop princess sings in various costumes about...well...what is this song about? I don't quite get how you can regroup after a broken heart. The video makes more sense than the song, and I think that is the point.

Button Hackers (long shot) or Natasza (fair chance), now watch either Charizma or Hania win the lot.

The View Post-Mortem: There Are Those Who Walk East, And Those Who Walk West

As I may or may not have referenced on here, I live in a building full of Sex & The City women. They are the type who wear everything as an accessory from shoes to bags to gay best friends to boyfriends. (They also have this annoying "upspeak" that annoys the living daylights out of me.)

I don't like them, just in case you were curious.

One of them was apparently having a birthday tonight, and as I walked out I noticed one thing: they all seemed to be walking East. East is towards the straighter quasi "hipster" lounges owned by sublebrities that get written up by columnists in Page Six. East, in a metaphorical way, is towards 15 minutes (or centimetres) of fame, which one would assume validate their lives which are constructed around being known in order to fill up the void left there by meaningless Myspace conversations and unanswered text messages.

I always walk West.

West is towards the gay heartland of Chelsea. For all my FG diatribes, I give the majority of them one big compliment: they are at least making the attempt to appear that their lives are not self-absorbed, and that's a big thing in this day and age: The whole world is constructed so that a person sees themselves as being front and centre at their own commemorative ceremony.

We all listen to mp3 players with our own personally selected soundtracks. We all rush to our cellphones to talk or type messages that broadcast our id to others in the belief that maybe someone else is so into our minutiae that they'll respond. If that isn't enough, we have blogs to do the same.

I'm just as guilty.

It's just that I wonder if it's all going too far.

When the SATC clones have no trouble elbowing others--including myself--in the elevator (and looking like they should be lucky to be in their presence when confronted by it), or obliviously tossing their hair in others' faces while ordering a drink, then we have a problem.

You see, we're living in a nation where quick apologies are believed to soothe all wounds, even if the sincerity isn't present. As long as we can robotically say "I'm sorry," then it is like the transgression never happened. Ironically, we're also living in a country where nobody is the transgressor: We all think that we're oppressed and because of that, we can automatically feel "your" pain with sincerity.

No, comrades, it doesn't work like that.

I've probably said this before, but I believe it bears repeating: no matter what you think, no matter how many idioms you can trot out: we are not islands. Just like the love that you send out will be returned to you, so will the brusqueness and vanity be returned...by the bucketloads.

I think that there is still some shread of camraderie within the gay community beyond all the tinsel and faux attitude. That beyond all the fronts and narishkeit (silliness) that we use to keep our armour up, we can find something to welcome a fellow lantzman (comrade..for lack of a better translation).

And that is why I will do my damnest to always walk West.

New Moon Post-Mortem: Happy Aquarian New Year

Yep, for all us Aquarians out there, it is now our New Year (January 20th), and we get a new moon--in Aquarius to boot.

Now this might be a new moon, but it might as well be a full moon based on what has occurred to me this evening.

For starters, I decided out of the blue to go see Kathy Griffin at Carnegie Hall, and shockingly enough got a great seat.

Having arrived in Midtown too early, I decide to brave the sudden burst of snow flurries (yay!) and mosey on over to Therapy--a bar that I don't necessarily hate, but am not all that fond of, since the clinetele tends to be of the S&M (Stand & Model) ilk from the theatre. Nonetheless it killed time until I had to be at Carnegie Hall.

On my way down to the heart of Hell's Kitchen, I run into a FG pair who were at Therapy. They stare at me, and because my cardinal rule when I'm being stared at is to stare right back, they amble off somewhere making some comment which I couldn't make out since it was windy and I was listening to Michael MacDonald on my mp3 player.

After a post-show drink over at the Ninth Avenue Bistro--like hell I'm going to Therapy again--I decided on a whim to cap the night by going to XES.

XES really made me feel like it was a full moon night since the video screens were playing dead Black R&B singers videos (TLC & Aaliyah basically), while the DJ seemed to be dredging up random rap and New Jack Swing.

Let's just say, I know that when weirdness comes by the bucketloads, it is my time to turn in.

The View Post-Mortem: We Are All Living In A Global Los Angeles

Before I get to the crux of this post, one side note: Out of curiosity (and partly inspired by Q), I am trying Marlboro Lights this week. Let me tell you, if you ever want to make a menthol smoker quit altogether, put him or her on these things for a week. These are some of the harshest things I've ever had. Hard to believe that at one point Marlboro was marketed as a woman's cigarette brand.

Anyway...

The Oughties are all about Los Angeles, I reckon. I stumbled across this while watching "4ever" at The View after they played "Walk Away." I started thinking: "where have I seen these looks before?" Then I realised where I had: in No Doubt videos from the mid-to-late nineties.

The Pimp My Ride subculture? Los Angeles.

The Rockabilly/Ska look combined with punk? Los Angeles.

The Grrl driven Power Pop? Los Angeles (and not Seattle, need I explain to you the difference between Hole & Bikini Kill?)

Los Angeles is now the arbiter of fashion, attitude, and social mores for the Oughties--at least based on what pop culture suggests.

Perhaps it's the 15 minutes of fame obsession that has rocked the country since 1999?

Perhaps it's the resignation that global warming will reduce most of the US to 70 degree weather year 'round?

Perhaps it's the Hiltons?

All I know is that it appears to me that Los Angeles is now in control of the zeitgeist, and it now has the responsibilities that come along with it (like Seattle/Portland did in 90s, New York in the 70s & 80s).

I have no idea who'll be in control for the teens. Maybe it'll be a really unexpected place like Phoenix.

By the way, no matter how much I like Good Day LA, there is no way I'm decamping out west. I'm riding out the four season lifestyle for as long as the climate allows.

I'd Love To Know The Logic Behind This

A fourth hour of Today?

Why on god's green earth?

It's Not That Ozaukee County Doesn't Have Interesting People...

...It's just that they have to leave Ozaukee County to actually do anything.

Ok, a couple of things:

1. He's a psychiatrist!
2. She's a lawyer!
3. He got his degree in Grenada.
4. She went to Marquette.
5. His specialty was in treating addiction to narcotics and alcohol...in Thiensville.
6. She worked for a Chicago law firm.

Either Darcy's batshit crazy (likely), or her real name is Esther Blodgett, because associating with Dr. Norman Maine ain't doing her any favours this time around.

Note to Elliot

I do not want to move to Washington, nor to New Jersey, or Connecticut, and I have already lived in Massachussetts.

Get on the ball.

I don't think this is the right locale

Maybe it's me, but if you're holding auditions for The Biggest Loser, you shouldn't have them in a brewery--even if it is in Milwaukee.

(Thanks to Tim Cuprisin's phenmomenal blog for this info.)

Better Than The Closet (Part Two)

The DL Chronicles, which will be coming to here in the near future.

The fact that lead actor Darren Schnase is genuinely sexy as hell has nothing whatsoever to do with me applauding this.

No, nothing whatsoever.

Read Rod 2.0 for more information on The DL Chronicles.

The View-Splash Post-Mortem: Drinking With The Ex

Ugh!

Never again.

As much as there is to be said for maintaining amicable relations, the long, protracted silences wherein he tries to complete a thought just drive my "say what you mean, and say it fast" self up a wall, and remind me of how good it is to be single again.

On the upside, one thing I have discovered that is true: go-go boys and opportunists will flock to a tall, skinny white man like moths to a flame.

That is a problem I certainly do not want to ever have, since 9 times out of 10, I just want to watch some music videos and take in the barely whispered conversations between the patrons and the steroided.

Sunday Jukebox Has New Stress

In...In...In...In...In...In honour of the upcoming Eurovision season and to...to...to...to...to...to celebrate the New Year, here...here...here...here...here...here's a re-envisioning of Stress.



Is it wrong that I find Odd somewhat attractive?

There is a God

And God has good taste!

I tell you--lack of snow aside--2007 is off to a wonderful start.

The View-Barracuda Post-Mortem: Archetypes

Still euphoric after the New Year's random encounters, I tried to get back into normal operating mode--in other words, getting to The View ASAP.

Go figure that not even after finishing one Twisted Tea: I get shanghaied by a man claiming to be Martha Stewart's vet. Even (partially) out of commission: he takes me to Barracuda and embarks on a mission to get into my pants. These days, however; that will not happen.

What's this man like? Keen to mention that he is wearing Gucci Shoes and carrying a Prada bag.


I think that about says all.

The Splash-The View Post-Mortem: Happy New Year's from me and my happy___

...ass, to use a phrase from Ghost Stories.

I'll be honest with you, something that was bound to happen did occur: I literally lost my shirt. I had the requisite amount of liquor that enabled me to get over my inhibitions and dance like I didn't care.

And indeed I didn't care. I didn't care to the point that I let my shirt go and fly out of my waist and into the confetti-laden floor.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

The main event of the evening is that I had my very first New Year's kiss--at Splash no less.

Y'see, New Year's for me has traditionally been the South Park marathon and a bottle of plum wine in Wisconsin because I didn't want to deal with the chaos of New York on New Year's Eve. For some reason--which I can't explain, but am grateful for--I decided to finally spend New Year's at my present home.

I'm floating on Cloud 9 at the moment, so this will be a rambling post-mortem. Through a series of strange circumstances I did wind up literally dancing with the one who "brung" me, but I didn't dance metaphorically with the one that brung me. Granted that's a strange metaphor, but it's the only way I can explain it at the moment.

When I came to Splash at 8, I was seized upon by a guy, whom I'll call L. L happened to sport my kryptonite, which is black-rimmed glasses. At the time it seemed like L & myself were probably going to be a pair for the evening, but after I stepped outside for a bit, L suggested that I "circulate." Being dutiful, I did. Well, I plopped myself in my usual spot and wound up talking to a guy whom I'll call Q. Q also wore glasses and happened to also be a performance writer as well. Since Splash is only huge by New York standards, it was inevitable that L & Q were bound to meet, thus bringing forth a war between my mind and my loins, with Q winning that battle since the entrance to my loins these days is via my mind: shared political beliefs, career, and smoking will do that to you.

To make a long story short, come Midnight*, my tongue was down Q's throat and--apologies for sounding Pollyanna-ish here--I suspect that Q will be major participant in 2007 for me and hopefully vice versa.

Yes indeed, this will be a very good year.

* I subscribe to the superstition that whomever you kiss at Midnight will play a major role in the following year. I've never kissed anyone at this particular time before so it's always been me in the year that follows.

By the way, The View was a very good coda: Some GBM bonding with a Guyanian-American, the first song and music video that I remember loving to death, and a fag hag who said "your fly is down, sweetie." My response? "It's New Year's and I don't care, since anyone who notices it is already interested in the contents behind it and probably wouldn't want it zipped up in the first place." (Yes, I said that. She called me "sweetie." I hate that.)