Monday, April 30, 2007
Eurovision 2007: Fools!
There is a new videoclip for "Dancing lasha tumbai" (aka "Dancing Russia Goodbye"), and I tell you it is yards better than the preview...even though the preview pretty much tells you what to expect on the 12th.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Eurovision 2007 Preview Review: F is for Fun Times, G is for Go On With Your Bad Self, and H is for Hellcat on Wheels
The Preview Critiques continue! (Watch the actual previews at Eurovision.tv)
Finland: Hanna is moody. Hanna is either smoking or in a very cold room. Hanna checks her makeup. From what I gather, this is her style of music, but she comes across as too precious to sing it...like Victoria Beckham covering Motorhead. It's an alright video, even if La Podolskaya did the East Village-chic to better effect in 2005 (although it was woefully inappropriate for the song). By the way, if I'm very indifferent on Hanna, it's because I was for Lovex at Euroviisut.
France: Granola rock comes to Eurovision and it's from France? The Singing Pony Tail and the Picards talk about his sexual conquest (in a British accent no less) in a pink room, while interpersed with photos and scenes with said conquest and peculiarly shots of them at the French National Final. The latter gives the song a bit of a Superstar (in the Neil Sedaka/Carpenters sense) feel. It's oddly endearing, but in the video stakes...it's no great shakes.
(FYR) Macedonia: National final performance!? After the brillant, atmospheric video Karolina had in 2002 this is a bit of a letdown. No warrior dress for her this time. Instead, La Karolina (I know the proper "La" is with her surname, but umbrellas are hard to do when you have to repeat the name several times) is wearing either hot pants or a miniskirt while talking about her "all." Meanwhile, her backing dancers limber up in the background. Now, understand that I like La Karolina when I say this, but...taken as a whole, it makes me wonder if the song is a tacit reference to Sweet Charity.
Georgia: Listen all you national broadcasters, little Georgia did a second all new video to coincide with the new songtitle. So ha! It starts out with a couple doing some modern dance moves on a hill. Then Sopho (the Caucasian Bjork if you will) looks all meditative while graphics swirl in the background. I. AM. LOVING. THIS. The dancing couple gets more aggressive in their moves as the music swells. With all these lush geographical shots, it almost seems like Miyazaki film come to life. Current front runner on Hikaruland for best preview video.
Germany: Live performance, but that's the standard German protocol with Eurovision previews. (Although, given the lyrics, I would love to see what they could do with an actual all-new video.) Anyway, Roger throws slightly smoldering glances and coolness while the band plays in the background. It does the job, but from the video standpoint: kinda so-so.
Greece: Greece does Grease. (And why is 2007 the first time they've thought of that connection?) "Danny" Sarbel looks at his "Sandy" and arches his eyebrow. (Meanwhile, I just roll my eyes.) Then they do You're The One That I Want 2007 version. It's very nicely done, just...corny.
Hungary: Magdi is PISSED! Oh, she is fit to be tied. Remember how La Vissi went balistic last year in the preview for Everything, Magdi tops that for one reason: she's going to destroy his place and doesn't care if she looks good while doing that. A close runner-up for preview of the year, as it really makes me curious as to what the performance on the night will be like.
Next time: I is for Irksome, L is for Laconic, and M is Mealy. (This might be a hard slog for all of them save for Israel.)
Finland: Hanna is moody. Hanna is either smoking or in a very cold room. Hanna checks her makeup. From what I gather, this is her style of music, but she comes across as too precious to sing it...like Victoria Beckham covering Motorhead. It's an alright video, even if La Podolskaya did the East Village-chic to better effect in 2005 (although it was woefully inappropriate for the song). By the way, if I'm very indifferent on Hanna, it's because I was for Lovex at Euroviisut.
France: Granola rock comes to Eurovision and it's from France? The Singing Pony Tail and the Picards talk about his sexual conquest (in a British accent no less) in a pink room, while interpersed with photos and scenes with said conquest and peculiarly shots of them at the French National Final. The latter gives the song a bit of a Superstar (in the Neil Sedaka/Carpenters sense) feel. It's oddly endearing, but in the video stakes...it's no great shakes.
(FYR) Macedonia: National final performance!? After the brillant, atmospheric video Karolina had in 2002 this is a bit of a letdown. No warrior dress for her this time. Instead, La Karolina (I know the proper "La" is with her surname, but umbrellas are hard to do when you have to repeat the name several times) is wearing either hot pants or a miniskirt while talking about her "all." Meanwhile, her backing dancers limber up in the background. Now, understand that I like La Karolina when I say this, but...taken as a whole, it makes me wonder if the song is a tacit reference to Sweet Charity.
Georgia: Listen all you national broadcasters, little Georgia did a second all new video to coincide with the new songtitle. So ha! It starts out with a couple doing some modern dance moves on a hill. Then Sopho (the Caucasian Bjork if you will) looks all meditative while graphics swirl in the background. I. AM. LOVING. THIS. The dancing couple gets more aggressive in their moves as the music swells. With all these lush geographical shots, it almost seems like Miyazaki film come to life. Current front runner on Hikaruland for best preview video.
Germany: Live performance, but that's the standard German protocol with Eurovision previews. (Although, given the lyrics, I would love to see what they could do with an actual all-new video.) Anyway, Roger throws slightly smoldering glances and coolness while the band plays in the background. It does the job, but from the video standpoint: kinda so-so.
Greece: Greece does Grease. (And why is 2007 the first time they've thought of that connection?) "Danny" Sarbel looks at his "Sandy" and arches his eyebrow. (Meanwhile, I just roll my eyes.) Then they do You're The One That I Want 2007 version. It's very nicely done, just...corny.
Hungary: Magdi is PISSED! Oh, she is fit to be tied. Remember how La Vissi went balistic last year in the preview for Everything, Magdi tops that for one reason: she's going to destroy his place and doesn't care if she looks good while doing that. A close runner-up for preview of the year, as it really makes me curious as to what the performance on the night will be like.
Next time: I is for Irksome, L is for Laconic, and M is Mealy. (This might be a hard slog for all of them save for Israel.)
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Eurovision 2007 Preview Review: B is for Bizarre, C is for Crazy, D is for Drag, and E is for EH?!
Better late than never, here are the next round of Eurovision previews, courtesy of Eurovision.tv.
Belarus: Probably one of the most lavishly done videos (I'm not saying a word about the irony of this being the Belorussian entry...not one) this year. Were it not for the slight singing accent of Dima Not Bilan (my god, you can actually understand what the Belorussians are saying), this could pass as the UK entry with all the James Bond-esque cinematography and a queen looking suspiciously like Elizabeth I (with kabuki maidens for some odd reason. It's Belarus, who said logic applies?). Not Bilan's handlers must've got the memo that he was looking too much like the real Bilan, because he now is trying to look like Sakis Rouvas--not a good idea as a certain Cypriot entrant in 2005 would attest to. Anyway, the storyline seems to be a retread of Snow White with a woman in a red dress trying to stay safe from Queen Bess/Maleficent. (Who cares if Maleficent is from Sleeping Beauty?) Not Bilan appears to have nothing to do with the storyline except look pretty while Red Dress runs across the set like a buxom blonde in a horror movie.
Belgium: Live performance, which makes some sense. Even though there is an actual video, the song is so "funkadelic" (an aspect that really isn't captured in the real video), that the myriad of colours used during the RTBF live performance is the better option. That said, I like the song and I would've liked it if they went for an acid-freakout video. Slightly related: At this corner of the internet, the lead singer of the KMGs is a candidate for sexiest man of this year's contest, Not Bilan isn't even close.
Bosnia-Herzegovina: Marija's a chorine. Marija's a longshoreman in a lacy cap. Violinists on a rusty ship, while the crew plays volleyball? Is there some sort of veiled drug reference in this song that I'm not getting? Meditative, I get, but this is verging on absurd.
Bulgaria: Girl (not in the gender specific sense in this case), you'd better beat those drums! So Elitsa has black wings and apparently causes thunderstorms. She then flies as the song goes all techno. Sistem for 2007? I think so. Although I'm certain members of both sexes and most sexual orientations will miss the old softcore porn that made up the previous two Bulgarian previews.
Croatia: Dora performance. Excuse me, Bulgaria and Belarus have proper videos and Croatia doesn't? Is HRT trying to plead poverty this year or is it just lack of faith in the entry? Might very well be a mix of both frankly. This song is dull, dull, dull and I actually like a soul song with a strong bass line. The woman singing lead kicks ass, but then Daddy Topic just has to get his lines in and the whole vibe goes screwy. Give him a severance package, make it all Dragonfly and then get back to me.
Cyprus: Ok, I'll get it over with right now. WHO DRESSED THE DIKI? She looks like she's taking a break from being a Japanese idol singer...in 1986. Oh well, it works with this very synthclash song (which I like very much, and would be happy if it won). The rest of the video seems to be a unisex mascara commercial....which is why The Diki and Co. are singing in an abandoned ballroom?
Czech Republic: National final performance (after all that CT has been through, I don't blame them, unlike HRT). Even though the Slovaks sent a "rock" band as their debut entry as well, there's a metaphorical ocean of differences here. Main one being that at least Martin Durinda was singing and not doing some vocally enhanced version of growling. Actually, this is not a bad song at all, it's just that I wish it was an instrumental. O Lordi, what have you wrought? (By the way, I hope those dazed go-go "Eurosong" girls are not included at the ESC performance. They looked like they were going into sugar shock instead of dancing.)
Denmark: DR are you pleading poverty too? All the creative talent working in Danish film and television and the only idea you come up with is to have DQ dressed in various monocolour outfits in different colours while 2 men and 2 women fail their arms in various black & white getups. The song is called Drama Queen and you have a drag queen singing it FOR EUROVISION, one of the most camp television events in the world. I'm sorry, but you have to step up your game here people, because you dropped the ball video-wise.
Estonia: Eurolaul performance (I think it is, since that would be par for course with ETV). Gerli "Not Pink, Not Sharon Osbourne" Padar is carried in on a chair by some male dancers would then fail themselves about in modern dance. Gerli joins them for a bit and it looks...matronly, which is at odds with both her voice and the tone of the song. The choreography is also at odds with the song as well, since it would be more at home as an 11 o'clock number in a musical than in a rock ode to co-dependency. If I'm not mistaken, I do believe Gerli & The Boys are doing jazz hands towards the end of the chorus. Oddly enough this makes the song more livilier than the previous (if more plausible) version I saw which just featured Gerli and a backing band.
Next time: F is for Fun Times, G is for Go On With Your Bad Self, and H is for Hell.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
From the "Broken Clock Is Right Twice A Day" Department
Bloomie suggests a congestion surcharge of $8 for all drivers entering Manhattan below 86th Street.
Still a closeted idiot, but at least he's not without some sense.
Still a closeted idiot, but at least he's not without some sense.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Monday Jukebox Tries To Entertain You
I promise I'll be back soon on full-tilt duty, but between fighting a flu, and working on a play...well, something had to fall by the wayside.
In the interim, here are three Japanese popsters that I've stumbled across recently. In a perfect world, they'd be as popular here as they are in Japan.
Now, I've already salivated over Misia (there is a funny video on Youtube of a high-as-a-kate Erykah Badu praising Misia), but here's the full video of her song Escape, which has rather downbeat and somewhat absurd lyrics in contrast to the upbeat music, then again the video is somewhat absurd (in the artistic sense) as well:
Next is the legendary rock duo B'z singing their 1991 hit Alone, another prime example of why a good ballad should make you feel like the burden of life is too much by the end of it. I have to admit I was surprised by the choice of wearing UWM clothing in this live performance:
Arguably the Japanese Madonna, if only for longevity of career, Akina Nakamori covered Alone in her Utahime 3 album back in 2003, in a very minimalist way making the song even more bleak--a good thing in my view. Alas, I couldn't find a video for it and I'm not savvy enough to create one. Instead here are two videos of Akina.
The first is her performance of Southern Wind in 1984, very fresh and idoled up.
Finally, here is Akina in 2001 performing another one of her Eighties' hits, 1/2 no Shinwa:
Thanks to all the hard-working fans who put up the videos, translated the lyrics, and designed the websites.
In the interim, here are three Japanese popsters that I've stumbled across recently. In a perfect world, they'd be as popular here as they are in Japan.
Now, I've already salivated over Misia (there is a funny video on Youtube of a high-as-a-kate Erykah Badu praising Misia), but here's the full video of her song Escape, which has rather downbeat and somewhat absurd lyrics in contrast to the upbeat music, then again the video is somewhat absurd (in the artistic sense) as well:
Next is the legendary rock duo B'z singing their 1991 hit Alone, another prime example of why a good ballad should make you feel like the burden of life is too much by the end of it. I have to admit I was surprised by the choice of wearing UWM clothing in this live performance:
Arguably the Japanese Madonna, if only for longevity of career, Akina Nakamori covered Alone in her Utahime 3 album back in 2003, in a very minimalist way making the song even more bleak--a good thing in my view. Alas, I couldn't find a video for it and I'm not savvy enough to create one. Instead here are two videos of Akina.
The first is her performance of Southern Wind in 1984, very fresh and idoled up.
Finally, here is Akina in 2001 performing another one of her Eighties' hits, 1/2 no Shinwa:
Thanks to all the hard-working fans who put up the videos, translated the lyrics, and designed the websites.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Eurovision 2007 Preview Review: A is for Awkward
It's that time again!
Since there are god knows how many entries this year (I will break my no-alcohol-at-home rule in order to make it through this year's voting), I'm splitting up this year's Preview Video review into several parts. For those not familiar with the Preview Video review set up at this corner of the internet: I watch 30-60 seconds of each preview clip and then write my impressions.
(You can find the videos at Eurovision.tv, click on "mediacentre")
Today I'm covering the A's.
Albania: Frederik (who should either shoot his stylist and/or get a better toupee) gestures dramatically near a pond or a lake while a woman (I'm assuming this is Aida) wails while dressed like some aging socialite circa 1965. It does not make one sympathetic to whatever plea he is begging us to hear. Pretty scenery though.
Andorra: Like every Eve6/Blink 182/early Green Day video you've ever seen, with Anonymous playing their instruments with screaming, happy teenagers in the background. That said, it's revolutionary for Eurovision. Considering the song is asking us to "save the world," I have to wonder what does shaving one's head have to do with it? If it's a reference to Locks of Love (an organisation that donates hairpieces to children who have medical hair loss), then that's a brilliant move. Unfortunately, I suspect it's just an attempt to appear "punk."
Armenia: Hayko does his best Zeljko impression by looking moody in white in the middle of a market/bazaar while a (clarinet?) player plays in the background...yet is strangely not heard. Shouldn't the "you" being addressed in the song be seen? I remain firm in my conviction that it wouldn't kill Armenian TV to do a Cher & Colton Ford disco duet. I'm sure they'd have no problem doing it for free.Then again, I suspect Armenia doesn't want to win inasmuch as just place strongly.
Austria: Is this 1993? Seriously, this video is so 90s that I have expect Eddie Vedder to randomly appear midway through the song waving his hair along to the beat. Anyway, it's Erik (who I'd accuse of doing a Chris Daughtry impression, but I don't think Daughtry is that well known overseas) scowling at the camera in black & white, and then black & red, with a red AIDS ribbon in the background. Visually, I know they're going for grit and symbolism, but at the same time, I don't think the lyrics jive with it. I don't get the message here, and I am tempted to think that Erik doesn't either (to paraphrase an old MTV ad: "they just told me to rock...real hard.")
Next up: B is for Bizarre, C is for Crazy, D is for Drag, and E is for Eh? (believe it or not, that only covers 9 countries).
Since there are god knows how many entries this year (I will break my no-alcohol-at-home rule in order to make it through this year's voting), I'm splitting up this year's Preview Video review into several parts. For those not familiar with the Preview Video review set up at this corner of the internet: I watch 30-60 seconds of each preview clip and then write my impressions.
(You can find the videos at Eurovision.tv, click on "mediacentre")
Today I'm covering the A's.
Albania: Frederik (who should either shoot his stylist and/or get a better toupee) gestures dramatically near a pond or a lake while a woman (I'm assuming this is Aida) wails while dressed like some aging socialite circa 1965. It does not make one sympathetic to whatever plea he is begging us to hear. Pretty scenery though.
Andorra: Like every Eve6/Blink 182/early Green Day video you've ever seen, with Anonymous playing their instruments with screaming, happy teenagers in the background. That said, it's revolutionary for Eurovision. Considering the song is asking us to "save the world," I have to wonder what does shaving one's head have to do with it? If it's a reference to Locks of Love (an organisation that donates hairpieces to children who have medical hair loss), then that's a brilliant move. Unfortunately, I suspect it's just an attempt to appear "punk."
Armenia: Hayko does his best Zeljko impression by looking moody in white in the middle of a market/bazaar while a (clarinet?) player plays in the background...yet is strangely not heard. Shouldn't the "you" being addressed in the song be seen? I remain firm in my conviction that it wouldn't kill Armenian TV to do a Cher & Colton Ford disco duet. I'm sure they'd have no problem doing it for free.Then again, I suspect Armenia doesn't want to win inasmuch as just place strongly.
Austria: Is this 1993? Seriously, this video is so 90s that I have expect Eddie Vedder to randomly appear midway through the song waving his hair along to the beat. Anyway, it's Erik (who I'd accuse of doing a Chris Daughtry impression, but I don't think Daughtry is that well known overseas) scowling at the camera in black & white, and then black & red, with a red AIDS ribbon in the background. Visually, I know they're going for grit and symbolism, but at the same time, I don't think the lyrics jive with it. I don't get the message here, and I am tempted to think that Erik doesn't either (to paraphrase an old MTV ad: "they just told me to rock...real hard.")
Next up: B is for Bizarre, C is for Crazy, D is for Drag, and E is for Eh? (believe it or not, that only covers 9 countries).
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Tuesday Jukebox Loves Misia
Just listen...
And I'm generally not one to fawn about vocal gymnastics, but this knocked my socks off.
And I'm generally not one to fawn about vocal gymnastics, but this knocked my socks off.
Partly Shameless Plug
My best friend Garrett is appearing on this week's new Law & Order: Criminal Intent.
Do watch!
Do watch!
Eurovision 2007: I Know I'm Lyric-Sensitive, but really?
Now it's hardly a secret that I really like this year's Russian entry, but alas, the Russian Eurovision curse of atrocious lyrics strikes again.
Here's a sampling (courtesy of The Diggiloo Thrush) :
Gotta tease you nasty guy
So take it, don't be shy
Put your cherry on my cake
And taste my cherry pie
As anyone who remembers Warrant's big hit can tell you, "cherry pie" is slang for a part of the female southern anatomy. So one must ask, what is a person's "cake?" Based on the refrain, I would hazard a guess that they are referring to the posterior. If that is the case, then I believe we have the first lesbian anal sex reference in Eurovision.
Like the Silver Girls have any idea what they are singing about.
Open note to Russian Eurovision composers:
Please have a native English speaker go over your lyrics. You come up with these great musical compositions and then have them shot to hell because the lyrics are basically absurd.
Since when do asses "spin?" They swing, they sway, they do not go 360 degrees on any normal human being.
By the way, what's with the lead singer calling her cohorts "bitches?" I know the other two are really only there for show, but seriously, give them at least a modicum of respect.
Here's a sampling (courtesy of The Diggiloo Thrush) :
Gotta tease you nasty guy
So take it, don't be shy
Put your cherry on my cake
And taste my cherry pie
As anyone who remembers Warrant's big hit can tell you, "cherry pie" is slang for a part of the female southern anatomy. So one must ask, what is a person's "cake?" Based on the refrain, I would hazard a guess that they are referring to the posterior. If that is the case, then I believe we have the first lesbian anal sex reference in Eurovision.
Like the Silver Girls have any idea what they are singing about.
Open note to Russian Eurovision composers:
Please have a native English speaker go over your lyrics. You come up with these great musical compositions and then have them shot to hell because the lyrics are basically absurd.
Since when do asses "spin?" They swing, they sway, they do not go 360 degrees on any normal human being.
By the way, what's with the lead singer calling her cohorts "bitches?" I know the other two are really only there for show, but seriously, give them at least a modicum of respect.
Monday, April 02, 2007
Are You Sure This Isn't A Joke?
Tommy "Wimpy Ex-Wisconsin Governor" Thompson is apparently entering the presidential race.
Why? I do not know.
The man is forever etched in my head as the fool who came running back to Wisconsin--tears streaming down his face--after basically getting his ass handed to him in Washington.
And he thinks he could run the country?
Why? I do not know.
The man is forever etched in my head as the fool who came running back to Wisconsin--tears streaming down his face--after basically getting his ass handed to him in Washington.
And he thinks he could run the country?
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