I Left It, I Loved It : The Independence Day Post

I'm going to ask you to indulge me a bit.

Astrologically, the USA is considered a Cancerian (no pun intended). So was my father, who was born a few days earlier.

It wasn't until recently that I managed to see a parallel between my relationships with the two.

I'm an Aquarian, and for those who don't follow Astrology, we don't really get along well with Cancers. We think they're drama queens interested in inanity, they think we're cruel sadists out to break their hearts when it hurts the most for the sake of proving our individualism.

I spent the majority of my childhood being somewhat idolised (admittedly due to sexism) in my father's eyes. He was a Vet two times over, and subscribed to the 1930s-era of children being subservient to their parents. In his eyes, I was like The Little Prince. It also helped that it was the 1980s, and there was some degree of innocence left in popular children's culture.

Then came my rebellious years, wherein I horrified my father.

Now, everyone in general is expected to rebel while a teenager, but I saved mine until I went to college. Coming Out was not a rebellion, and to be terribly honest, I did not expect to be, nor was the news treated as such. (It was more of a "that's nice, son.")

My rebellion came when my father realised that the pleasant, well-mannered, slightly independent boy left for college and came back a pleasant, well-mannered Socialist young man.

I was never one of those "down with the tyrants" type of Socialists, but rather a "everyone deserves a fair go." And by "fair go," I do mean a level playing field.

This sort of thinking doesn't go down well in the US, because the US is about maintaining a certain facade, and maintaining that facade is paramount for its own mental health.

"Liberty and equality for all?"

Sure, the US is practicing that.

Never mind that it's been under a century since I, as a Black American have had a vote.

Never mind that my own state thinks that it is wrong to deny me even recognition of my partnership because it is with another man.

Never mind that in order to build that American Dream, it must be built on the backs of underpaid, underprotected workers and a mainstream society gone Cuckoo for Credit Card Capitalism.

I truly believe that the US is a nation that cannot at all afford to take such a hard look at itself, because it would disintegrate.

Yet, it's my literal homeland, and I can't help but have affection for it.

Remember how I said that I horrified my father? It wasn't because I was gay. It wasn't because I spoke my mind. It was because I could point out where the flaws were in the national dream that he, and many others Americans like him, had. I could also point out that it was not one that I wanted.

And that brought a chill to our relationship as father and son. One where he would bemoan my cigarette smoking*, and I his provincialism.

* Interestingly, when I was growing up. My father would castigate anyone who smoked in front of me--including relations. He also nearly burnt our house down whenever I ran the risk of catching him smoking. The image of being a non-smoker was more important than the action.

Nonetheless, when my father passed away in February 2002, I could honestly say that we had reached a honest, lasting civility. One where we could understand that the bond we had as family did not mean that we had to blindly accept the other.

That's how I feel about the US. I care about it, because it is where I grew up and I still have family there, but I cannot bring myself to truly accept that it is the Zion it likes to believe itself to be. The US just can't bring itself to reconcile its dreams and its reality, and I could only see myself turning into someone I was not meant be, the longer I remained.

Australia is certainly far from perfect, but I have to truly applaud it at how Australian society does value each person and how Australians are proud of their ability to call the proverbial 'bullshit" when there is discrimination.

I'm proud that I now live in a country where a majority of the populace straight and gay says that it is wrong to deny same sex couples marriage...no matter what the ruling party says. I'm also proud that I now live in a place where it is truly believable that discrimination will get reversed. I'm proud that the nation is willing to work at improving life across the board, and not still confused by the failure of trickle down economics.

And yet, I'm still proud of Obama. I'm still proud that there is hope for American society to truly learn to embrace its citizens, even if it must be long and arduous, and fraught with residual bigotry at every turn because it does not fit some absurd national myth.

I just don't want to live in that kind of society and I don't want my future child to live in that one either.

So the US & I are civil with each other. I can never be as close to it as I used to be, and that's fine.

At this moment, I'm enjoying a very chilly winter's night in NSW. It's -4C. This is the kind of weather I love. If every 4 July from here on in will be like this, I will be happy.

I'll just make sure to spend Australia Day in the Upper Midwest.

Oh, It’s Canada Day, don’cha know?

Love all you hosers up dere.

It’s a crying shame that I only have gotten a chance to see some of the best Canadian programming (The Border, Being Erica*, Billable Hours, etc.) since going Austral.

* Does anyone watch SOAPnet?

Though it’s a damn shame that Flashpoint isn’t airing regularly down here. (We are fortunately spared the inanity of Red Green, however, which airs constantly in Wisconsin.)

I still would move there (well Toronto or Montreal) in a heartbeat…especially in the middle of the Australian summer.

No Canadian tribute is complete without Celine Dion of course:

et pour le Quebec libre:

An Advertorial Break

Remember hearing about those days when adverts were actually part of the show? As in Lucy & Desi spruiking for cigarettes? Well, the morning chat shows down here in the Antipodes still use that form of advertising. Most of them are mind-numbingly camp (yet still not as annoying as the full half-hour beasts.)

However, here’s a rather smart one using drag star Courtney Act.

Australia Jumps Into Eurovision

Any singers and/or songwriters out there? Want to get into Eurovision but still support Australia?

Well, it’s time to get off your duff and put on your Green & Gold.

Entries are now open for the first Australian representative to the Asia-Pacific Song Contest.

Ok, the name Our Sound is naff, but the opportunity is worth it.

The Kiwis are planning to be in it, so we’re guaranteed at least a 12 points there.

Tuesday Jukebox Says “Could You At Least Try To Be Original?”

Case in point: Gwak Hyun Hwa’s video for Psycho.

Apparently they’re only just getting around to copying Single Ladies in South Korea.

Just to tie this into the Adelaide Radio campaign, I promise that I will not wear a leotard, but I will pretend to do so for an Adelaide radio station. (You hear me, Nova 91.9?)

(Ah, the magic of radio.)

By the way, what do you think of the new look over at this corner of the internet?

Hear, Hear

One thing you can always count on with Uncle Rupert’s papers is that they have a knack for coming up with a good headline.

Read this one about the US exiting the World Cup (upper centre).

Sums up my feelings exactly…at least at the moment.

With Australia, New Zealand, and now the US out of the World Cup, it really is off my radar.

The World Cup that matters is next year anyway.

The Adelaide Campaign: Day 5 (Pride Edition)

So I’ve eaten a floater and (gulp) liked it. Now I’ve made the discovery that the Crows official magazine is called The Pride.

And then there’s Don Dunstan

The man wore pink shorts in 1972 to Parliament House, helped destroy legalised anti-gay discrimination (and the White Australia policy) founded the South Australian Film Corporation…just to name a few of his achievements.

Ok, he died on my 20th birthday, but still I’d call him a hero, one who is truly missed.

Especially on International Pride Day.

Pride 2010: The Theme Song

(drum roll)

After much deliberation, here’s the Hikaruland official theme song for Pride 2010.

Congratulations Nhojj!

Can La Perry Take A Joke?

A recent episode of The Boondocks took the mickey out of La Perry…and made me very happy that La Perry’s work does not export.

According to Oh No They Didn’t, La Perry is really hopping mad about it.

Good.

Pride 2010: Commercial Break

LOGO (alas, still not available here in Australia) celebrates Pride by featuring a list of the most ridiculous gay-themed commercials over the past ten years.

I’m partial to the Vodafone & Absolut entries.

Enjoy!

Adelaide Campaign: Day Three

Ok, Adelaide just to prove how serious I am, we’re kicking the promises up a notch!

In case you don’t know what a [pie] floater is, here’s the Wikipedia entry.

More Nominees for Pride 2010

The race isn’t over yet! Blame the fracas over the new PM down here for causing me to omit the South Korean entry, but also another entrant who could be filed both as US/Guyana/Trinidad & Tobago. (Making the total nominees a Super Six.)

Nhojj – Gay Warrior Song (US/Guyana/Trinidad & Tobago)

Sistar – We Never Go Alone (South Korea)

The Theme Song Nominees for Pride 2010

Believe it or not—and in the Northern Hemisphere it probably is more plausible—Pride comes this Sunday.

Down here however, it’s quite nippy with frequent showers. Plus we have a new PM (an atheist, unmarried-but-partnered, childless PM! Take that, Abbott!)

I remain hopeful that Julia was merely toeing the party line with regards to the ALP stance on same-sex marriage, and that the new Gillard administration will wizen up.

It certainly seems like the mood on the ground is one of relief at the change.

Now onto the nominees for Pride 2010 Theme Song. This year, I thought it would be rather appropriate to have artists from the five countries (Australia, Japan, New Zealand, and the US) that get major rotation over at this corner of the internet.

Manama - Yellow Stop (Japan)

Gabriella Cilimi – Hearts Don’t Lie (Australia)

Gin Wigmore – Hey Ho (New Zealand)

Scissor Sisters – Fire With Fire (USA)

Which song do you think best captures the LGBT zeitgeist?

Adelaide Campaign: Day Two

Today, I appeal to the sporting sensibilities of Adelaide radio.

I would like every one in Adelaide to know that the message I have written could get me done here in the heart of Rabbitohs territory. (Not to mention that I’m also a Souths fan, but I’ll go Crow too.)

Oh, and the new Prime Minister we have? She’s from Wales via—guess where?—Adelaide.

The Adelaide Campaign

I am going to take the serious risk of being perceived as a bit of a kook here.

(Deep Breath.)

For several weeks now, I have been having a recurring dream wherein I find myself working at an Adelaide radio station (I think it’s Nova 91.9, but it could very well be SAFM).

I can’t for the life of me figure out why I keep having this dream:

• Adelaide is hot (as in temperature), I like cold.
• It’s a metro area of 1 million +, on par with Milwaukee (a lateral move…I don’t like lateral moves)
• Radio is considered a swear word in my family, after some dodgy business dealings.
• Its nickname is “city of churches.” I’m aggressively non-religious.

Yet, the dream keeps popping up. So I’m now embarking on a “Get on Adelaide Radio” campaign both here and on Twitter. Here’s the result of Day One of this campaign:

Any suggestions for Day Two?

Wednesday Jukebox Doesn’t Want Nor Needs

It’s my last day in America and this hemisphere (at least for another 4 or 5 months), and I’m choosing to comemmorate this occasion by having the jukebox play Polish rock (the songtitle translates as “I don’t want. I don’t need”) from 2001.

‘Cause I’m random like that.

Why You Can’t Go Home Again: A Fortnight in the US

Well, this corner of the internet is back for June.

I’ve gone back Stateside for the first part of this month due to family matters, and I have to say that after a year living in Australia, it’s put an interesting spin on American life.

One of the things that does irk me a bit about living in Australia is that I’m constantly asked “what do I think of Australia?” It’s well-intentioned, but I want to scream “I LIVE HERE! Of course I like it.” Now, I’m getting the reverse from my fellow Americans. Here’s a typical conversation:

Fellow American: Where are you from?

Me: Here [meaning Wisconsin].

Fellow American: Really? You don’t sound like you’re from here.

Me: I live in Australia.

Fellow American: Seriously?

Me: Yes.

Fellow American: Why would you want to move there?

Me: Work.

Fellow American: Really?

It’s like no one can fathom the idea of an American living in Australia. I’ve even been asked what language Australians speak…by people who have completed college degrees!

Fair enough, every country is pretty insular (particularly away from the major cities), but it still blows my mind at how myopic things can be Stateside: The oil spill, as bad as it is, has been framed as US v. UK standoff. It’s almost like CNN & NBC are keen to restart The War of 1812!

If that wasn’t bad enough, every single local and state politician from the affected region is trying to get their 15 minutes of fame. Fine. Yet, it reached a certain level of absurdity when there was a huge line of them in Louisiana at a press conference, each of them saying the same critiques about how they aren’t getting any assistance. Heaven forbid they just chose a spokesperson and then got on with trying to do some clean up.

Then there is that Sunderland debacle. When half of Australia was losing its collective mind over Jessica Watson, the other half was saying “who cares?” I was in the latter camp. Personally, I think it’s a daft thing, and I can’t imagine why it’s so impressive to go around the world solo. Now, an American needs rescuing after attempting to do the same and the US media is all “aww, bless.” Meanwhile, not a single word about the fact that the Australian taxpayers are footing the bill for her rescue, not even a clip of a Sunderland saying thank you made the national news. (I’m going to assume that at least one of them did.)

The one major thing that has really blown my mind, however—and I mean in a good way—is how things seem less segregated here. Most likely demographics have not changed radically in one year, but the slight apprehension that I used to feel as a minority has largely disappeared. It used to feel like there were so many different Americas co-existing within the same borders and that it was only a matter of time before we all declared war on each other. Now, it feels unified…at least on a racial level, and the one good thing the GFC has done is that it has made conspicuous consumption something to be frowned upon.

In respect to LGBT matters, I can honestly say that I’m extremely glad that DADT looks likely to be overturned. That said, I still have no idea why the Federal Government (not to mention most of the states) can’t at least say “civil unions for all” and just get out of the marriage racket all together. (The same applies for Australia, too, although the de facto legislation is a major step that the US could at least consider.)

Even though as an American citizen (which I still am—boy is it fun explaining how I can be an American citizen but resident elsewhere), I benefit from all of these changes, there’s one thing that has made me realise that I’m not emotionally American anymore: I don’t take everything so seriously.

This is the land of extreme emotional reactions to everything. If someone wins, it’s like the second coming. If someone loses, it’s the apocalypse. Everything is put into an “us-versus-them, point-of-no-return, we’re-all-gonna-die” perspective. I mean everything from oil spills to box office receipts to celebrity relationships. Stop taking yourself so seriously, America.

Reading some of my pre-Australian posts, I definitely can tell that I’m guilty of this as well. There is just something about the atmosphere in this country* that just puts you in this frame of mind that everything you do must be written in bold and underlined three times, or else it doesn’t matter.

* I blame it on the fact that this country was settled by ultra-capitalist and ultra-religious zealots.

When all is said and done, it matters most that you just enjoy your life. Wherever you happen to be.

Eurovision 2010 Final: Do I Have To Sing Now?

Just ask Croatia, who didn’t make it to the final.

Let me tell you all out there, it was not easy to stay oblivious of the result. Dodging internet information was easy, however, Australian television news was not.

Every single broadcast network—save for SBS (they kindly suggested that those of us not wanting to know the results go have a cuppa during their own news broadcast)--felt compelled to reveal the winner in their morning and evening broadcasts. I combated this by switching over to Max (a music channel on cable which actually broadcasts music videos) frequently.

I wonder whether next year SBS will consider broadcasting it midday Sunday. Although it might conflict with some sport they’re airing.

Adverts: The Socceroos scarves look like crime tape. I’m just saying.

Before Te Deum we have a bunch of Eurosong-celebs waving hello to us in Australia. Julia & Sam (all dressed up and smiling!) make mention of the Big 5 and dash off.

And we have Te Deum.

New opening! Very dramatic, starting out in Lugano 1956 with a Swiss family huddled around the first Eurovision. The pink bubble appears and travels through Vienna 1967, Brighton 1974, Paris 1978, Dublin 1981, Munich 1983, Brussels 1987, Istanbul 2004, and Moscow 2009. This is like watching an opening to an Olympic Games! Good job, NRK.

And we’re in Telenor where the words SHARE THE MOMENT appear onscreen. The words give way to various Eurofans wishing good luck to their respective countries’ representatives. Alexander appears and wishes good luck to everyone.

He then appears alive and sings a very dramatic version of Fairytale. Ol’ Alex is in good voice, although he looks like he still has yet to reach puberty. Oddly enough he’s doing the same performance with only a few more performers.

HEN say “Good Evening Europe.” Julia coos. Sam calls him “the little brother who never writes or calls.”

Nadia is in red, Haddy is in beige, and Erik is in a tuxedo. Only Nadia looks good. HE give us the spiel about voting being open. Julia & Sam do the same with regards to the unofficial Australian voting.

It’s actually a pretty quick start compared to Eurovisions past.

Azerbaijan: Apparently the choreographer behind this did Beyonce’s Single Ladies. (Explains the hood-esque moves) Ever since I saw this song yesterday, I have had visions of Beyonce pulling Safura’s hair and saying “Gurl, just give up.” Anyway, Safura does the same thing, and since we here in Australia know she can’t speak English, odds are that she doesn’t really know what she’s singing about.

Spain: I had never really rated this, but the staging with the backing dancers dressed as toys does work. It’s nostalgic Eurovision at its best. Oh, there’s someone running onstage who isn’t supposed to be there. Impressively Daniel gets even stronger with the interruption. Good on you, mate.

Norway: Julia & Sam discuss the intruder animatedly during their intro for Didrik. Didrik does a more operatic version of this year’s Israeli entry. I’m really trying to find anything different here, and apart from the backing singers (who are using the traditional Israeli backing singer formation, ironically), I see little that is different. Eh.

Moldova: Sam warns us about the saxophonist. Yes, mate, very wise to do that. The saxophonist is still verging on annoying, but the paucity of upbeat songs makes me loathe him less. The Moldovans do pretty much the same thing they did on Friday [for those of us in Australia]. That is a good thing. Chisinau 2011, not quite, but if they build on this it could happen sooner than Euroland might think.

Cyprus: Julia & Sam still rabbit on about the gatecrasher. Jon Dice shows his midriff. I still don’t care. Since Jon annoys me, I chose to focus on The Islanders who I’d much rather hear sing this. The performance is pretty much the same, so I chose to take a quick smoko.

Someone in the audience waves an American flag. Eh?

Bosnia-Herzegovina: Julia says that the song is about a couple in strife and that it’s a metaphor. (Really?) Vuk seems to be even more aggressive than he was on “Friday.” He hams it up onstage, although the Businessman/Chorus Girl combo singing backup are still unintentionally funny. The song unfortunately just. ends.

Julia & Sam send us off to adverts and they both manage to smile. Shock!

Adverts: Now that’s saving money. Sam is also part of the presenting team for SBS’s World Cup show.

Alright, I am going to make a blatant appeal to SBS for me to do co-presenting duties next year. SBS, I’m acerbic, a new Australian, and willing to undergo whatever training regime to make me photogenic.

Back from adverts, Julia asks Daniel about his role in Mamma Mia (via translator). Sam gets Safura’s backing singers to sing and whether they’d sing for Australia. Julia asks Alexander about his Facebook friends. Alexander says that he would like to sing Satellite.

Belgium: Sam says the Belgians can’t believe that they are in the final. He also makes the astute observation that only 12% of the people in the world can get away with a song like this, and Tom is one of them. Well, not with me, Sam. Not with me. Anyway, The Dice does the same “Friday” performance. I realise that Jon Dice is slightly more annoying (even though Tom does an “Oslo” shoutout mid-song) because he tries to upstage The Islanders. Tom, on the other hand is alone onstage. Hold on. Let me revise that, they’re equally annoying.

Serbia: Ooh! It’s the Serbian Akiko Wada. Julia says that Milan believes that it is important to have a “strong look onstage.” Yes, and unless you’re Boy George, you generally can’t get away with androgyny. Sam calls it the “quickest 3 minutes ever.” Milan gives us the same circus sideshow complete with dancers wearing outfits that look like they were designed by a bunch of bored Serbian homemakers. The female backers shake their things. I check to see if I set the PVR to record Underbelly.

Nadia comes onstage to remind us that Spain will perform again at the end. (I guess that was the smackdown. She uses the word “assaulted.”) She also gives a shout out to Australia.

Belarus: That one male singer still sounds dodgy as hell, although they have strong accents to overcome. This song and performance scream barely qualified. I don’t care if the three girls sprout wings, it still looks weak. I don’t think Belarus will be troubling the scoreboard tonight.

Ireland: Sam mentions how Niamh is Eurovision royalty. Julia quotes Peter Allen (“there’s a lady onstage”). Niamh seems to be a bit stronger in voice than she was on “Saturday.” Of that run of Irish winners in the 1990s, I must admit that I liked Niamh the most, because she seemed the most soulful. Not a winner, but a respectable showing. Sam says that we shouldn’t rule her out.

Greece: How’s this for contrast? Giorgos toady-ups the crowd from backstage. This is probably the most aggressive performance so far, even though it looks like they aren’t doing anything different from “Friday.” Giorgos’s “Friends,” however manage to drown him out with their “OPA!” On a symbolic level, I like how this is a bit like a finger to the world in the face of all the bad press Greece has been getting lately. Crowd goes wild. Sam makes a Sakis Rouvas-hand-me-down joke.

United Kingdom: Julia & Sam get all giggly over the Stock-Aitken-Waterman connection. (Kylie Minogue is Australian, remember.) Josh looks oddly like a very young Sakis Rouvas. He sings a pleasant danceable Hi-NRG tune that would probably storm the charts in 1993. He’s charismatic in the “aw, bless!” way, but it just is missing that X-Factor (no pun intended). You just get the feeling that it was developed more, it would be a contender.

Julia & Sam send us off to break. Julia smirks. Sam manages something approaching a grin.

Adverts: Sergeant Croydon wants you to give him your superannuation money. (Apologies for international viewers as that’s a real Australian reference there.)

Back from adverts, Julia talks to Giorgos & His Friends. The Friends take centre stage. Sam talks old SAW songs with Josh. Julia asks Giorgos if Greece could afford to host. Giorgos is diplomatic in his response. Sam & Josh bond over the state of each other’s hair. Sam tells Josh that the UK has no chance.

Georgia: Julia brings up the fact that last year’s Dutch entry and this year’s Georgian entry share the same name. She is quick to point out that this is a very different song. Anyway, Sofia & Co. do the same acrobatics that they did on “Saturday.” Oh, she winked. Didn’t notice that earlier.

Turkey: Julia finally explains that the origin behind the band’s name. The lead singer toady ups the crowd. It is the second aggressive song of the night and that is a good thing. The lighting really helps this (more so than the Helmet-headed dancer), and I suspect that the Turkish rock scene better prepared to be raided for year’s to come. It’s still no Deli. Sam calls it “not the best song if you’re an epileptic.”

Albania: Sam calls this a song of “absolute commitment” given that Juliana has competed in the Albanian final for several years. I still hear Knock on Wood, but I don’t mind it much. It’s rather interesting how little choreography there is (save for the mad violinist) for a dance song. Still I think Eurovision will be heading to Albania in a few years if they build on this performance.

Sam reminds us about Spain performing again.

Iceland: Julia says that “if you aren’t singing this by the end, you aren’t human.” That’s right, Europe, we’re full on biased down here. (Love it!) This is another dance song with little movement, and I suspect that Albania & Iceland will be cannibalising each other’s votes all night. Hera pretty much gives a more energetic version of her “Friday” night performance.

Ukraine: Julia calls Alyo another powerhouse voice [after Albania and Iceland]. Alyo is in even stronger voice, although she can’t really alter her performance that much from “Saturday.” I must say that I’m surprised by how much better she is live.

France: Julia is not a big fan of this. (Julia is French-Australian.) The crowd yells in approval when Jessy comes onstage. It’s very catchy (although a bit dated) dancehall pop. The sort of song you’d expect to hear at Club Med. There’s a lot of dancing, which unfortunately the camera doesn’t catch enough of. They do a version of a Haka (Shoutout to NZ!) onstage. Jessy & co. give their all, I must say.

Romania: Sam recycles his Eartha Kitt joke, and calls Ovi a “Romanian Adam Zwar.” (I’d take that as a compliment.) Compared to the French entry this is very restrained. Catchy as hell though. They also bring more energy than they had on “Saturday.” I’m surprised that there are only 6 more songs left.

Russia: Julia says sarcastically that she “doesn’t hope [the song title] comes true.” This song looks extremely weak coming at this point in the running order. I get the joke now, and it’s still not all that funny. It’s just daft. I get the feeling that this year (due to the GFC), it’s more a case of aiming to place high, but not necessarily win it.

Oh, it’s HE again. I had forgotten all about you lot. Erik talks to already manic French and the subdued Brits. Sam recycles his Norwegian Josh Thomas joke.

Armenia: Sam finally explains the whole symbolism behind the apricot stone. He also talks about her hair. (Seriously, mate, your obsession with hair is unhealthy.) Since Eva is singing about national identity at the final she is less about bouncing breasts and more about performing. A tree grows from the apricot stone! Didn’t notice that before. Sam pervs on her.

Germany: Julia mentions that this is a hot favourite and that Lena’s English is a bit odd. Sam calls her this year’s Alexander. The staging is oddly low-key, preferring to rely on Lena’s charisma, which I must say she does have in buckets. The mockney accent does grate a bit. It is a toe-tapper (as opposed to a foot stomper) though. Crowd does go a bit crazy after her.

Portugal: Filipa does her thing. It’s a stark contrast to Lena, although Filipa smiles a bit too much. Now, I like this song, but this is a field full of tortured love songs, and while she does her best, and this is the best of that lot, it doesn’t have that extra bit of WOW.

Julia & Sam send us off to adverts promising that we’ll see them interview some Australians in the audience.

Adverts: According to my other half, these health reforms are really needed. I’ll take his word.

Back from adverts, and we have a bunch of fans’ messages…and the North American who apparently wrote the Turkish fans. You would be surprised at how many Australians are there.

Israel: Julia is in favour of countries singing in their own language. I like you, Julia. Harel does his dramatic Sakis Rouvas thing like he did on “Saturday.” Didrik take notes, Harel manages to stay closer to the key. (Mind you, the whole gatecrasher entry probably made Didrik shaky.)

Denmark: Julia & Sam call it a “catchy number.” Julia mentions that it sounds like The Police. I think it sounds more like Jon Waite (“I ain’t missing you at all!”) I read that this was rejected from Melodifestivalen. Given that Sweden missed out on the final, I think SVT might be radicalising Melodifestivalen next year. Anyway, Chanee still steals the show and N’Evergreen still does his Ronan Keating imitation. Brilliant song nonetheless.

Spain (take two): Sam gives us more information on the “serial pest.” (A Catalonian nationalist activist.) Crowd goes wild. Only thing different that I notice is that Daniel & co. really seem to be dramatic the second time around it. He also brings the house down. The backing singer seems to be almost redundant. I reckon they could have done without him.

Haddy tells that we’ve seen amazing performances. Australian commentators agree. Julia & Sam rattle off several of their (re: Australia’s) favourites. Erik tells us how to vote. He then strips off into a low cut green shirt as we go to the recap. This lot is no Ingvild.

Recap: Safura goes ghetto and is hilarious… Daniel gives his all…Didrik does a A- version of the Israeli entry…Moldova and that saxophonist…Jon Dice (usch)…Vuk and his businessmen/chorus girls…Tom Dice aggravates…Milan and his fringe (Julia & Sam like him)…Julia & Sam call 3+2 the “slowest minutes of the night”…Niamh is regal…Giorgos and his bare-chested friends…Josh tries hard but his song didn’t…Sofia does acrobatics…Turkey brought the rock and rap (“Not a good song for an epileptic” says Sam)…Albania knocks on wood…Hera impressed…Alyo brought.it…But so did Jessy…Although Paula & Ovi did even more…Peter and his friends should be forgotten…Eva does her bit for Armenian nationalism…cute ickle Lena (“this year’s Alexander Rybak” says Sam)…Filipa sings her heart out…Harel Rouvas…Chanee took advantage of her moment, n’evergreen not so much.

Other half says he would’ve voted for Denmark. I would’ve voted for Ukraine. I like a growling singer, what can I say?

Adverts: I still can’t get over how Hyundai is pronounced as “HI-Undai” here in Australia.

HEN tell us that we had 25 “fantastic performances.” Nadia takes over the difficult English bit from the pretty HE.

This introduces a video clip about how multi-lingual they are with the artists. I’m going to guess that it is meant ironically. Haddy & Daniel talk about hair, and had I not heard Sam go on about hair all night, I would laugh more.

HE talk about how anyone can win. (In front of the German delegation.)

Recap. No changes in my opinion, save for the fact that I think Moldova would KILL if they were late in the running order, Belarus has no place in this final, and Denmark had the best place in the running order for that song. It really becomes apparent that this is a race for 2nd, not 1st.

HEN are back, giving us Eurovision voting history in respect to close victories. They lead us in the countdown.

Julia & Sam appear briefly to tell us to go vote on the website.

HE ask us if the audience is the best-looking audience ever. (Not going to say anything.) They tell us that it is time to dance.

Two men sing a bunch of incomprehensible lyrics as a bunch of people dance in a section of the Telenor.

Oh, it’s a trans-continental dance party? From Iceland to Slovenia to Sweden to Lithuania, we see shots of people dancing. It’s like an extended version of the dancing segment on Ellen Degeneres’s show. (Speaking of which, the Gold Coast really wants her to come to Australia.)

There are black people in Norway…NRK really wants us to know this.

Alright, NRK, if you are willing to give me residency and/or citizenship, I’ll gladly become Norwegian. I pick up languages easily.

Julia & Sam tell us that this is a celebration of having Eurovision parties at home.

There’s a shot of some Norwegian royals.

Dammit, I want to be Norwegian now. Or at least Norwegian-Australian.

Ok, now this is fun. Julia & Sam sound like they are having a blast.

GREAT INTERVAL!

HE welcome us to the Green Room and do their whole fun facts with the artist thing. I continue to crack up at how wooden they are. Erik wears butterfly wings. Erik, you are no Ingvild…don’t even try.

Sam tells us that it is time for Nadia to do plenty of hard work. (No shit.)

Nadia introduces Svante as “his majesty.” This is met with loads of dramatic music and lighting….and….Svante (who is loving it.) He calls her “princess Nadia.” (No shit as well.)

Oh lord, 39 votes…and I have an early morning flight. Sleep isn’t going to happen, is it? (Current time: 1015 pm AEST.)

Romania: 8 to Turkey…10 to Moldova (shock!)…12 to Denmark (YES!).

Ireland (perky Irishman, Sam slags him): 8 to Germany, 12 to Denmark.

Germany (good to get this one over quickly, you can never make out the German vote, the crowd sings “Seven Nation Army”): 8 to Greece, 10 to Turkey (shock), 12 to Belgium.

Serbia: 8 to Germany…10 to Greece…12 to Bosnia-Herzegovina (Sam calls it bloc voting, Julia doesn’t care)

Albania (he’s got charisma): 8 to Turkey…10 to Germany (crowd goes wild)…12 to Greece.

Greece is in the lead. Sam expresses shock that Giorgos is 33. I agree.

Turkey (she can barely get through her intro): 8 to Bosnia-Herzegovina…10 to Germany (crowd goes wild again)…12 to Azerbaijan (GURL!)

Sam tells us that the mobile phone company in charge of votes can handle 7 million votes.

Croatia: 10 to Bosnia-Herzegovina…12 to Turkey.

Julia points out that Belarus is on zero.

Poland (apparently she’s a morning show presenter): 8 to Azerbaijan…10 for Belgium…12 to Denmark. (Danes oddly subdued.)

Bosnia-Herzegovina (some funny English there): 8 to Germany…10 to Turkey…12 to Serbia (Sam is happy with that…eager for Milan to stay in touch).

Adverts: George Negus is pissed that Dateline won’t be seen until July due to Eurovision and the World Cup. You can tell it by the snarl in his voice in the promo.

Back from adverts and a compilation of the “Hello Australia” greetings that the contestants have recorded.

Finland: 8 to France (YES!)…10 to Israel (that’s a surprise)…12 to Germany.

Sam expresses surprise as to why there is a French translation.

Slovenia (no Peter!? What gives? This guy is funny though): 8 to Serbia…10 to Germany…12 to Denmark (Crowd goes wild, though Germany still in the lead).

Estonia (“quite a jacket” say Julia): 8 to Georgia…10 to Russia (boos from the crowd)…12 to Germany. Sam says “I don’t think we’re going to Ireland.”

Russia: 8 to Ghetto Gurl…10 to Georgia (Shock!)…12 to Armenia.

Julia is pissed about Jon Dice.

Portugal: 8 to Greece…10 to Romania (Finally!)…12 to Spain. Sam wonders if we could vote for Jimmy Jump.

Azerbaijan (Sam likes her, because she’s “all business”): 8 to Georgia…10 to Ukraine (Julia & I agree on that)…12 to Turkey.

Julia & Sam talk about how the jury votes are already factored in.

Greece (Sam says “he looks like my banker”)": 8 to France…10 to Albania (Good)…12 to Cyprus (not a shock).

Iceland: 8 to Greece…10 to Belgium…12 to Denmark. Julia & Sam remark on how Belgium is doing well.

Denmark (isn’t he cute and elfin): 8 to Romania (YES!)…10 to Belgium…12 to Germany.

Leader board: Germany/Belgium/Turkey.

France (elegant presenter): 8 to Portugal…10 to Serbia…12 to Turkey.

Turkey now in 2nd. Germany still in 1st.

Spain (it’s Georgie Gardner!): 8 to Armenia…(Julia & Sam shocked at how bad Ireland & the UK are doing)…12 to Germany.

Germans oddly subdued.

Nadia gives us the top 5: Germany/Turkey/Belgium/Denmark/Romania. She tells us that anything can still happen…if you’re German or Belgian at this point.

Erik talks to Lena who is, um, verklempt im Englisch.

She talks to Germany in English. Lena is acting like she’s already won.

Haddy talks to maNga. They are diplomatic.

Back to Nadia at the lectern of Winning. Long shall she rule.

Julia & Sam are surprised at how well Turkey is doing and say it’s all about the diaspora.

Slovakia (he’s smooth): 8 to Israel (Julia is happy)…10 to Belgium…12 to Germany.

Julia is shocked at how well Germany is doing. Sam is shocked at how well Tom Dice is.

Bulgaria: 8 to Armenia…(Julia expresses shock at how badly Norway is doing)…10 to Turkey…12 to Azerbaijan.

Ukraine (It’s Miss Ukraine 2008): 8 to Turkey…10 to Russia…12 to Azerbaijan (slight boos from crowd).

Latvia (Julia & Sam call him a “cool cat.” He sounds like he’s got something stuck in his mouth.): 8 to Russia (boos from crowd)…10 to Denmark…12 to Germany.

Lena in shock.

Malta (oh, it’s Chiara): 8 to Denmark…10 to Belgium (the Maltese like their ballads)…12 to Azerbaijan.

Sam mentions that we can safely say that Norway won’t win this year.

Norway (oddly subdued): 8 to Denmark…10 to Romania…12 to Germany.

Julia complains that Norway should’ve given their 12 to Iceland.

Cyprus (lots of happy Cypriots behind her): 8 to Romania…10 to Azerbaijan…12 to Greece.

Sam calls it a “race for second.” Hear, hear.

Lithuania (is that David Bowie?): 8 to Spain…10 to Germany (Julia is happy they didn’t get the 12, so they could “even it up.”)…12 to Georgia (Sam makes a comment on the unnecessary choreography.

Lukashenkoland: 8 to Israel…10 to Ukraine…(Sam laments Josh)…12 to Russia (boos all over, and Julia is surprised).

Switzerland (wow, she’s blonde, and a Chook Lotto girl): 8 to Albania…10 to Serbia…12 to Germany.

Sam calls it for Germany. Julia mentions that it’s a dry commentary box.

Belgium: 10 to Germany…12 to Greece.

Sam resolves to keep an eye on the UK.

UK (is that the Irish spokesperson doing an accent?): 8 to Romania (been awhile)…10 to Turkey…12 to Greece.

The Netherlands (“X Factor” shout-out): 10 to Israel…12 to Armenia (she says that “a lot of Dutch men must’ve voted.”)

Israel (Perky linguist): 8 to Romania…10 to Russia…12 to Armenia. (Julia remarks that it would be a surprise if it did go to Germany.)

Julia is pissed that Germany running away with it.

Macedonia: 8 to Germany…10 to Turkey…12 to Albania.

Julia & Sam grouse about how Lena must know that she’s won by now.

Moldova: 8 to Ukraine…10 to Russia…12 to Romania.

Georgia: 8 to Azerbaijan…10 to Armenia (that’s balanced)…12 to Belarus (which puts the UK at the end of the scoreboard).

Sweden (cheeky lad): 8 to Denmark…10 to Romania…12 to Germany (Nothing for Iceland.)

Julia calls it for Germany.

Armenia (“apricot greetings”): 8 to Ukraine…10 to Russia…12 to Georgia.

Germany wins it with 246 points. Sam says she’s overwhelmed. I’m still surprised at how subdued they are in contrast to other winners.

Julia & Sam mention that it’s two years in row that the favourite has won it.

Julia mentions that Norway wanted to reveal the winner in a special way…by having the winner march onstage direct from the Green Room, escorted by HE. Lena is overcome. Alexander looks manic and kisses her.

Lena struggles to say anything.

I’m quite pleased with a German win. I’d be really happy with a Danish or Romanian win, but still, she’s a good winner.

I love how Lena says “Do I have to sing now?”

Nadia excitedly says “next year the final will be in Germany!”

Everyone is thinking it, but at least the one country that could afford to host it is hosting it.

Lena sings it with a look of total surprise on her face.

She says “Oh my god, this is so crazy” during an instrumental break.

Based on the way she reacted, Lena is the most deserving winner ever.

Eurovision 2010 Semi Final Two: Once Again, With Feeling (this time)

Fun fact: As I write this, Iceland is leading the voting on SBS’s website. Is this a good sign? I reckon so.

Tonight however brings contenders Armenia, Azerbaijan (supposedly really popular amongst the bookies), Denmark, and Romania into the mix.

Add on my personal favourites The Netherlands and Switzerland, and tonight ought to be interesting.

Will Julia & Sam manage to crack something approaching a smile?

Will HE prove themselves to be more than pretty faces?

Will Nadia deliver the smackdown that we all know that she’s dying to deliver? (And I don’t think she’ll care whoever it’s directed at.)

We can only hope.

Te Deum is played and we’re off.

Julia & Sam in their intro call it “The Semi Final of Death,” while passing Norwegians laugh at them. They also talk up Azerbaijan, and surprisingly (for me at least) Lithuania and Israel.

Same intro video with the floating bubbles of many colours.

Haddy does the “Good Evening Europe” tonight.

Sam mentions that only 10 of the 17 countries will proceed to the final. Those are really good odds frankly.

HE do the voting and final spiel. Nadia must’ve demanded a better dressmaker as she looks a lot more stylish than HE. (Was that the smackdown?)

Sam mentions that he’d vote for Armenia “55 times.” I wonder what he sees that I don’t.

Lithuania: Julia & Sam really like InCulto, who they call the “funnest act” this year. InCulto arrive on stage making funny noises and in checked pants. They proceed to do a very ska song and call it “funk.” It’s kind of cute and pleasantly daft, and they harmonise well. Julia and the audience like the strip. Eh, say I. Julia remarks that they are all straight. (Seriously, do we care?)

Armenia: Julia & Sam remark that there’s a lot of imagery. Just after they mention it there is a close up of Eva’s bosom. Anyway, Eva cavorts about the stage while the backing dancers do their calisthenics. It’s a pleasant bouncy number although I definitely see why it could inflame some old historical grudges too. I don’t see contender here, but that’s just me.

Israel: Julia says the bookies went berserk over Harel. Sam wants to put his hand through Harel’s hair. Harel looks a lot like Sakis Rouvas. He sings a pretty ballad and tosses enough “come hither” looks at the cameras to last a lifetime. It’s very simple staging and I must say this is screaming dark horse to me, especially as it builds up. This is working very well on television. Dodgy ending, but the audience goes crazy according to Julia & Sam.

Denmark: Sam calls it a “breakup song.”Interesting, I never thought about it that way. N’Evergreen does his mediocre Ronan Keating imitation (seriously must all Danish male singers do that?), meanwhile Chanee busts out her Shirley Bassey gear and vocal pipes. She’s definitely the stronger of the two and frankly she’s also doing the heavy lifting.  It still sounds dated, but it’s such a rousing song that you don’t mind it. That said, the wind machine makes it very OTT. Julia likes it, Sam doesn’t.

Switzerland: Michael looks quite elfin backstage and onstage. His backing singers have their war faces on, and their march enhances it. I’m tapping along, but I‘m biased too. There really should be more movement onstage, and it’s really letting it down. I still get children’s show opening song from it, and even though Michael & Co. are giving it their all. It still doesn’t quite get there. Shame.

Julia & Sam send us off to ad break from the booth. Oh my god, Sam smiled! He also says “sometimes three minutes is longer than you think it is.” (Yes Sam, like Armenia. Ha!)

Adverts: SBS is the Australia’s World Cup channel. They REALLY want you to know that.

Back from adverts and it’s time for our commentators to harass the contestants. Julia talks to InCulto and they mention that they’re straight. (WE DON’T CARE.) She talks to N’Evergreen who slags off ABBA (those are fighting words), and also comes across as a bit of an arrogant tosser.

Sweden: Sam mentions that this is a big hit in Sweden. I think girl with a guitar at Eurovision and think Ase Kleveland back in the Sixties. Anna is no Ase, especially with that warbling. Now Anna is definitely trying to go the cute route, but the song is calling for whinging uni student. It improves as the song gets faster but she keeps on going vibrato and jumping around like preteen is rather daft….especially since the song is all about becoming an adult. Eh.

Azerbaijan: Safura busts out in blue while walking down some stairs. The song starts out like a power ballad, but verges into comedy territory when she tries to go all ghetto during the chorus. There’s also some unintentional comedy with the manic dancer, but it’s all about the chorus for me. Why? Because she looks like a spoiled princess trying to act like she’s down with ‘hood girls. Well sung, but hilarious…for me, at least.

Ukraine: Sam tells us that Alyosha didn’t like him. (I wonder why?) Julia calls her voice very “rocky.” Alyo is alone onstage in a cloak with her deep voice and STRONG accent. She takes off the cloak and reveals that she is Ukraine’s answer to Avril Lavigne. The wind machine kicks up, the guitar kicks in, and Alyo gets more incomprehensible beyond the words “Sweet People.” It’s a lot better than I thought, and this is the performance that I think Anna should’ve done. Alyo does the traditional Ukraine-at-Eurovision yodel.

Netherlands: Woo hoo! Julia mentions the Father Abraham connection as well as the fact that it is so vintage that it might win. So two dancers dressed as music clock musicians move around woodenly as Sieneke bounces about to unabashedly kitsch music. I’m sorry, but I just love it for this reason. It also can’t be more of a contrast to anything that has proceeded, and that’s a good thing. Ok, the male backing performer may be hamming it up unnecessarily, but so what.

HE are back in the green room acting all self-important, promising that they will make everyone “feel at home.” So why do you look like dear caught in the headlights?

Sam makes note that Australia didn’t care for Alexander in SBS’s vote.

Romania: I personally think this is a serious contender for the lot. Paula hits the keyboard hard. They also are camping it up a bit, which really works. Paula’s big hair and catsuit being camp enough for several entries. Then there’s the operatic singing she does towards the end. I foresee a Romania vs. Moldova battle in the voting. Sam calls Paula “a Romanian Eartha Kitt.”

Slovenia: This is like a really charmingly quirky version of last year’s Macedonian entry, except it’s meant to be a bit silly. I suspect there’s a witty element to the lyrics. It’s camp fun, though not a vote-getter. At least they having tonnes of fun onstage.

Ireland: Julia warns us that Niamh is feeling under the weather. Niamh gets a round of applause after the first few notes. She looks very regal and sounds in good voice. It’s not a terribly remarkable ballad (In Your Eyes mk. II and slower), but does the business. Niamh brings a lot more charisma than Thea did last night and that may save Ireland from the same fate. Crowd goes wild.

Bulgaria: Julia says that it has “very powerful choreography.’ I see women dressed in the leftover Maltese costumes. And men as well. The men do acrobatics and then shift into pure Hi-NRG dance moves as the dance beat kicks in. Miro is kind of a non-entity in this performance which is a terrible mistake. It’s not that bad of a song nor performance, but the main problem is that Miro’s lack of presence makes you forget it.

Cyprus: Julia really likes the song, though it’ll take a lot for me to like this. Why? This is Tom Dice: Welsh/Cypriot version. Even worse, Tom was better. Everyone is good voice, but there’s not a single thing I like about it. The lyrics are corny. The performance is smarmy.

Julia makes a overly excited gasp of joy/lust at the end of Cyprus. She recovers quickly enough to join stone-faced Sam in sending us off to adverts.

Adverts: Qantas really wants you to know that you can fly the A380 and be comfortable. Your flight will be delayed for days due to mechanical issues…but you’ll be comfortable….at some point.

Back from adverts for more harassment from Aussies. Julia does all but kidnap poor little Jon Dice. She talks to Safura who talks through a translator (who isn’t that hot in English either). She spends more time talking to Safura’s choreographer who is straight out of the Real Housewives of Atlanta.

HE remind us that there are three countries left. Sam does his Norwegian Josh Thomas joke again, and it still works.

Croatia: So Femminem are in their nightgowns on a park bench singing about how everything is easy. There are so many jokes I could make about that, but why go for the easy ones? (hahaha) The song sounds like it going to build up into a dance stomper, but it doesn’t. No, it builds up into them just singing louder. Then there’s that very impressive but still out-of-place dance break. They have great voices, and look excellent, but the song like many last night…just. ends. Julia remarks on how many of the female singers are barefoot this year. (She fails to mention Sandie Shaw though.)

Georgia: Sofia is in red and being pushed about by male dancers. This is another acrobatic performance for everybody onstage. It’s rather interesting choreography that also distracts from the fact that song is rather bland. Interestingly, I’m reminded of last night’s Polish entry, except there’s no dramatics onstage.

Turkey: Finally, bring on the Rock! Nice staging with the screens being black. It’s oddly like last year’s Bosnian entry but with a lot more bite. I like it. It’s no Deli, but oddly charming. I don’t quite get what the helmet dancer is supposed to symbolise. Ooh, someone’s scratching on the turntable. Nice. Not too bad. Symbolically, I’d like this to win, doubt it will. Qualification, however, is assured.

HEN remind us that only 10 will make it. They fail mention that the odds are still pretty much pretty good for everyone.

Recap: InCulto strip (but want us to know that they’re straight)…Eva’s bosoms and that stone bounce about…Harel was dreamy and shouty…but not as much as Chanee & N’Evergreen…Michael did the best he could, but didn’t quite make it…Anna was too cute for her good…Safura tried to be ghetto and was hilarious…Alyo brought the drama and mangled pronunciation…Sieneke was kitschy kool…Paula & Ovi brought it…Slovenia just had fun (sod the score)…Niamh got everyone’s attention (but was it just because she’s a former winner?)…Miro was there (or was he?)…Tom Dice managed to annoy me tonight even though he wasn’t onstage…Croatia took it too easy…Georgia got pulled all over…MaNga impressed with their fusion.

NE (not HE) talk about last place Eurovision hits. Amongst the featured are Jahn Teigen, Jemini, and PingPong. It’s sadly too quick.

Erik says that the Norwegians celebrate last-placers. Nadia says that “no one comes last, but only 10 make it to the final.” Um, Nadia, there still will be last-placers.

Recap again. My opinions stay the same. In fact, I think Alyosha was even more impressive the second time around. Those playing the Eurovision drinking game would be drunk just by the recap alone.

HE give us a bunch of silly facts about the performers in the green room. The Irish delegation are already hitting the sauce. Christ, Erik is wearing the shiny InCulto hotpants. Usch.

Stone-faced Sam and Julia send us off to adverts. Hold on, Julia cracked a little bit of a smile. Caught ya!

Adverts: Bettie Page doco after Eurovision. World, welcome to SBS…Sex, Sport, and Eurovision.

Back from adverts and Sam tries to get Anna to say Sweden is better than Norway. Julia speaks with Niamh, who is charming and funny. She also talks to Safura (via translator) and she’s still kind of stuck up.

Interval…I think…and it’s another video/live one. This time involving a kid going around Oslo forcing a poor group of people to mimic the noise he makes. Given that some countries are only showing one semi, I understand why we’re having this interval again, but it really is a one-trick pony.

And the kid runs onstage and we have the whole a capella finale involving beatboxing and break dancing.

Yes, Norway, we know you’re modern now. Several thousands of UN surveys have told us that already.

Nadia talks to 2 Australians in the audience. Julia & Sam comically gripe about the fact that SBS wasn’t mentioned.

HE do the age joke again, this time with senior versions in addition to the junior versions. This as we learned last night is their intro to the 5 countries in the final. It dawns upon me that Harel does Didrik’s song better.

HE tell us that “you can feel the tension.” You certainly can’t tell it in HE’s voices, because they are wooden. Please tell me Ingvild makes some appearance to liven this lot up.

Nadia is back at the lectern of Qualification, and she definitely enjoys the power.

Dramatic drum roll and Georgia gets it. Julia is relieved. I’m indifferent.

Drum roll…Ukraine gets it. (Well-deserved.) Julia is 2 for 2 on her top ten.

Shot of the Swiss and the Dutch (I hope they make it!) Turkey makes it! Julia & Sam are surprised. I’m pleased.

Julia & Sam barrack for Denmark and Israel. Israel gets it. (Slightly pleased here.)

Drum roll…Ireland gets it. Irish fans go crazy at Telenor.

Shot of Romania (please make it!)…Cyprus gets it. Julia screams in delight.

Drum roll…Sam really wants Lithuania…Azerbaijan gets it. Safura freaks out. Australian commentators indifferent, in fact, slightly peeved.

Drum roll…Julia & Sam really want Lithuania & Denmark. I want Romania…and they get it!

Drum roll…Armenia gets it. Australian commentators getting pissed at who is going to miss out.

Drum roll…Shot of the Danes looking sullen. Chanee is happy, N’Evergreen is indifferent.

Julia & Sam are pissed that Lithuania didn’t make it. I’m glad that Denmark & Romania made it.

So here are some potential bloodbaths I see happen on the scoreboard:

• Armenia vs. Azerbaijan
• Romania vs. Moldova
• Norway vs. Israel
• Greece vs. Iceland
• Germany vs. Spain
• Belgium vs. Cyprus
• Turkey vs. Bosnia-Herzegovina

What does this mean? I have no idea who the hell will win this.

Now here comes the real tricky part of my Eurovision blackout. By the time I wake up tomorrow, the winner will be known. SBS, however, will be airing the final at 7:30pm tomorrow night. Still, I’ll do my best to stay oblivious.

I also have an early morning flight on Monday, and with Eurovision voting being the cruel beast that it is, I reckon I needn’t bother with sleep at all. 

Saturday Jukebox Goes Anthemic

Taking a slight break from Eurovision (Semi Final Two tonight here in Australia, Final in Europe), here’s a little trio of signoffs* from the US, Australia, and New Zealand.

* The old tradition of playing the national anthem before a station closed for the night.

First off, the US. Given how much I talk about singers being disconnected from a song’s lyrics, it’s rather odd that I never really put together how militaristic The Star Spangled Banner is. It’s basically a war report put to music. I, like most Americans of my generation, grew up with this signoff, and still it took me awhile to draw the war connection. (I hanged my head in embarrassment over being slow to pick this up.) 

Now, Australia.

Advance Australia Fair (yes, that’s the anthem—not Waltzing Matilda, although a song about suicidal thief running away from authority would work) talks mostly about geography, but the images shown are all about the military.

Finally, New Zealand.

Good Ol’ TVNZ wins in my opinion. Why? They have vocals, and these vocalists don’t just sing Aotearoa/God Defend New Zealand, they sing it as if they are rallying the troops and preparing for Armageddon. All the while we get tranquil scenes of nature, farm life, and the arts. This kind of singing is what I mean by “bringing the crazy,” and they do…brilliantly.