Home & Pulp Semi-Fiction

Perhaps indicative of the slow news time (Copenhagen aside) that we are in now, Uncle Rupert’s Daily Telegraph has the drug mishaps of the actors on Home & Away (the less mundane of Australia’s two soap operas) as their front page story.

Interestingly, the story doesn’t make mention of Seven’s new “two strikes and you’re out” policy.

Janet Fife-Yeomans must be channelling Elmore Leonard as some of the passages read like the most pulpiest novel you can imagine:

Lining up some "snow" is just what you do. Sticking a straw or a $100 bill up your nostril and snorting white powder that will eventually eat away your nose, destroy the septum, leave you disfigured. Putting your future up your nose - no big deal. It has a touch of glamour even.

Wow. It's five in the morning and you're beyond excited. You're sitting in a chair in a hair and make-up trailer not far from the North Palm Beach Surf Lifesaving Club, better known in 80 countries around the world as Summer Bay Surf Club House. Your first day on the set of Home And Away, a dream come true.

You've done a lot of modelling although you have little or no acting experience. You're young and handsome and you look right for the part. Basically you will be playing yourself.

Coincidentally, the Epping Studios mentioned in the article shut down this week, as Seven moves to their new facilities in Eveleigh, just adjacent to Redfern…which should elicit a chuckle some.

Personally, I find it funny that Lasance thinks he’s got a good shot in the US*, I’d think Canada or the UK would be the wiser choice.

* Worldwide, it’s interesting to note how few people realise what a strong grip religion and propriety have in the US, especially since Reagan. I think the US is easing up somewhat, but I really don’t think that it has loosened up as much as many non-Americans think it has. Much like the American style of government, American society moves slow in relation to the rest of the world.