Tuesday, March 02, 2010

In defence of the Public Broadcaster

Yesterday’s Australian featured a very interesting opinion piece by Mark Day, which asked what exact role does the ABC as taxpayer-funded media serve in this modern multi-platform digital age. Does the fracturing of media by the internet and the rise of pay television make Aunty an anachronism?

Day makes some very worthy arguments, particularly when pointing out that under Mark Scott, the ABC is getting more aggressive in pursuing new media at the taxpayer’s expense (mind you, given how incestuous the commercial landscape is, it almost seems like a fair match).

Yet, I think there is and always will be a place for the ABC, although my belief stems from the fact that I believe wholeheartedly in public broadcasting (as in taxpayer funded, not the weird charity case that is the PBS system in the US.)

I haven’t lived in Australia long enough to have a strong emotional attachment to Aunty, but bloody hell, it’s pretty damn apparent that Aunty works very hard and very long. The ABC defines Australia like a state broadcaster should, and it also seems to have no problem being redefined by the public it serves.

There is no real state broadcaster in the US (at least not one within its borders—and the external one is a bit of dull dishrag, given that it’s prohibited from broadcasting to Americans), and at least at this moment in time, there really isn’t a need for one. Americans pretty much have long since come to the conclusion that commercial broadcasting would define us ever since Lucy & Desi started hawking cigarettes without breaking character, probably much earlier.

What we did in the US instead was market the living daylights out of our media both domestically and internationally (thank you WWII). The funny thing about the majority of American media, however, is that it’s inward facing: it’s American lives, having American dilemmas, in a world that is mostly devoid of influences from other outside nations, except for Canada, Mexico, and the UK on occasion.

And surprisingly such inward, navel-gazing entertainment sells overseas! (Again, thank you WWII.) It’s a constant surprise to me that commercial television stations all over the world lap up some of the dregs that US television spits out. Yet, that’s the role that the US media has always desired to have on the global market since well WWII, as the top supplier of filler.

The problem is that, like junk food, we fill you up way too much and you start thinking that you make us your whole diet, which is a grave mistake.

This is where a public broadcaster like the ABC comes in. The ABC doesn’t care about whether it’s cool amongst the 18-35 crowd, it just is. It stands apart from Sevens, Nines, and Tens, because it is defiantly Australian 24/7, or at least attempts to. (Everything ITV touches ain’t gold, Aunty.) I can’t say the same about Nine’s digital channel, GO!, which is constant American cartoons and vintage sitcoms.

This may sound shocking to some, but television plays a significant role in our sense of identity, and it is joined by the other new media which have popped up since its creation.

You would be hard pressed to find any country out there who would contract out its identity to another one who, to be blunt, sees no further than the tip of its nose.

Monday, March 01, 2010

Get your kit off, Grant

We absolutely looooove Grant Denyer over at this corner of the internet.

And only Grant “unintentionally offensive racial comment” Bonaparte did show some skin for Spencer Tunick’s nude art installation (for Mardi Gras) today at the Sydney Opera House.

Over on Today, Steve “Bonaparte”* Jacobs just gawked at the nude bodies and looked awkward. Mind you, he is just coming off of compassionate leave after his father’s death, so I can understand the awkwardness completely.

*Australian breakfast television shows seem to have requirement that their weathermen be below average height.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Eurovision 2010: Prepare Yourself for Retrovision

Apparently Slovenia has decided to turn back to clock to the days of Yugoslavia, because this would not look out of place in the 1980s.

Good luck, because they will need it.

 

 

Mind you, this may very well be a retro-vision year as the Dutch entry is unabashedly 1970s kitsch (even written by the man who wrote the 1973 entry…which actually is better than this chirpy dross, in my humble opinion)

 

Finland has gone for the ever-popular two blondes and an accordion combination.

 

Iceland has also opted go for their traditional strength: dance pop belted out by a woman with a big voice. (Well, they’re also borrowing from Kate-Don’t-Mess-With-Me-Fellas-Ryan)

 

And Denmark’s winner recalls not the happy-go-lucky Danish entries of the 1980s, but pretty much every 1980s rock ballad ever made.

 

As for the hosts: Norway has gone moody. Really moody. Not bleak, but 1990s Ireland moody. (He has looks on his side, but that didn’t help Iceland back in 2004, did it?)

 

Poland sends another ballad, but wait…it’s a male singer and it’s folk(ish).

 

Macedonia also does the exact same thing they’ve been doing since pretty much time memorable, which is insert rap into some really dated song. This year it’s really bland rock-rap. (And I still bet they’ll get really close into qualifying.)

 

Finally, Switzerland has an upbeat song in French, which also wouldn’t be out of place in 1980s Eurovision or 1980s French children’s television. (He’s singing about it raining gold, and the first thing that came to my mind was the Mysterious Cities of Gold. Anyone else think the same thing?)

 

The UK’s entry will be written by Pete Waterman, and if anyone could out-retro this lot, it’s the man who was part of the trio who put Kylie Minogue on the map.

Monday, February 22, 2010

1 Chalet Rendez-vous = 1 more season of Crap TV

We’re in the ratings season now, and honestly, the most interesting programmes on Australian television continue to be imports from Canada (Little Mosque on the Prairie), New Zealand (Outrageous Fortune and Go Girls repeats), the UK (The Bill 2.0: Bleaker than’ eck), and the US (well, The Good Wife and Two and a Half Men—yes, I said it).

Nine has got the Winter Olympics, so we can cut them some minor slack until that wraps up, but Seven has been coasting on the success of its reality programming (Border Security, which should keep Grant Bowler free to do whatever he wants), and Ten seems think that all and sundry still wants to watch Talkin’ Bout Your Generation—despite sliding ratings.

Not much hope for new Australian drama on the horizon it seems.

Well, thanks to Senator Stephen Conroy (the current Communications Minister), that forecast looks to remain unchanged. Conroy apparently had a meeting with Seven’s boss Kerry Stokes in Vail last month, and magically the government gave the Free-to-Air networks a Scrooge McDuck calibre rebate on their TV license fees. (Read Uncle Rupert’s take on the whole fracas here.)

I wouldn’t have a problem with that per se, except for one fact: the networks can do whatever they want with the money to make whatever Australian programming they want.

No restrictions on whether it is for drama/comedy or reality, which could very well lead to yet another year of constant fly-on-the-wall docusoaps creating more disposable sub-lebrities for them to further flog via their magazine divisions.

Oh joy.

Monday Jukebox is Scandal(ous)

Some big news: This corner of the internet may be moving to Tasmania by the end of the first quarter of 2010.

Factor in the recent controversy over the TV license rebate that the networks may be getting and it seems that Scandal is an appropriate song for today’s jukebox.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Out from the gloomy past

Well, who would thought John Mayer was such a…hmmm…Neanderthal?

Personally, it’s no real loss on my part as I never cared for anything of his in the first place. Is it that shocking that the man whose first big hit was an ode to sex is a womanising pig? Not particularly, in fact, given that Mayer was downing malt liquor (oh, the irony!) I have to wonder whether his real purpose was to kill off the John Mayer image in a blaze of glory…while still maintaining his career.

I didn’t really come to this conclusion until I read Brendan Shanahan’s opinion piece in today’s Sydney Morning Herald. Entitled “Take heart, Cupid’s not a racist,” Shanahan argues that finding people of certain races unattractive does not make one racist, because of the “illogical nature of sexual attraction itself.”

Yes, because sexual attraction makes no sense at all, it is totally possible to rule out entire ethnicities composed of people you have never met or never seen.

Hilariously, Shanahan seems to think that in these modern times we don’t live with the cultural stereotypes of the past, which is why he thinks we should be horrified by the song Brown Sugar, which talks about slave women being raped by their master in New Orleans. Yes, we’re horrified, but it also is portraying a period in time, documented not only by narrative but by people. (Hi Brendan, I’m one of them. Black Americans didn’t magically appear from anywhere.)

Shanahan does appear to be onto something when he talks about bigoted Australian men being horrified by Asian immigration, but sexually obsessed with submissive Asian women, and gleefully going to brothels to live out their erotic fantasies. He also mentions the classic Mandingo stereotype that black men have.

What he fails mention is that these stereotypes are created by centuries of cultural programming ranging from the Greek myths of the Amazons to Othello to Madame Butterfly and to, yes, Mandingo. (Have you ever heard of Edouard Said, Brendan?)

Shanahan’s assertion that it’s not wrong to prefer one race over another would make sense if we all lived in a bubble devoid of interaction or influences from the outside world as well as classic and popular culture. Yet we don’t.

In his closing paragraph, Shanahan paradoxically advocates miscegenation while still defending the right to unilaterally find people of other races unattractive. Seemingly winking to the reader, Shanahan says not sharing an attraction might make one “unworldly, but doesn’t make [one], or John Mayer, a racist.”

In this sense, not sharing an attraction does not make one racist, but advocating, tolerating, and even mere acceptance of someone’s right to discriminate against entire ethnicities due to skin colour is well…racist.

Friday, February 12, 2010

There are no facts on TV News

In what appears to be a statement made to the Sydney Morning Herald issued from Wonderland, the ACMA has said that television news is not a “factual program.”

Here is how this all came about:

The commercial networks get money from the brokerage arms of the banks (CBA and Macquarie basically) to comment on the day’s financial news, which in many people’s view (including my own) gives them significant influence. Plus it would seem that this arrangement between the banks and the commercial networks would need disclosure under the new code of practice covering the terrestrial channels which came to effect this year. 

One must wonder why the ACMA is so hesitant to rule on this issue.

Monday, February 08, 2010

A Little Bit of Homesickness

I can survive having my birthday during the Austral Summer, but pictures like this still make me long for having my birthday in winter. (courtesy of the ABC)

Friday, February 05, 2010

Have A Realistic Wish

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at this.

Ajay Rochester, who used to host the local version of The Biggest Loser apparently is desperate to get fame in the US.

How desperate?

She’ll settle for the Z-list Celebrity Fit Club.

Just read this article from a Daily Telegraph last month, which seems to be taking a degree of glee (I’d say schadenfreunde, except they are no freunde of her) in the misadventures of Miss Rochester.

Personally her story seems like it’s going to end like Inside Daisy Clover.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

More Tales of Two Countries

Population and unemployment: this is a bit of an apples and oranges subject(s), especially given the size of Australia and New Zealand.

Nonetheless, it’s rather interesting to see how the local media treats it.

New Zealand: Stop Coming Home and taking our jobs. (TVNZ)

Australia: Perhaps Logan’s Run was a good idea (ABC), Or Soylent Green (ABC), Or bugger it, let’s get more skilled migrants (The Daily Telegraph)

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Yes to the remix, No to the redux

Apparently the theme of the day is polished turds in popular culture.

Earlier, I pondered if we’re still stuck in a decade of bad cinema.

Now, let’s shift the focus to music, and a very specific kind of it: the charity pop single.

Warwick McFadyen in today’s Sydney Morning Herald takes the two recent ones (in aid of Haiti) to task, lamenting not the desire to aid, but the almost “let-them-eat-cake” result.

I especially think this section is worth noting:

There is no doubt that Haiti needs all the help the world can give it. More than 170,000 people died when an earthquake struck the impoverished nation on January 12.

But even before that, Haiti was deeply mired in economic and social grief. About four-fifths of the population live in poverty.

Did this lot give a toss beforehand? Not particularly.

All these charity efforts just come across as the idle activities of the talented but bored, especially when they cannot get their pampered arses together to actually write something original.

The decade of bad movies?

Empire Magazine has published a list of the 50 Worst Movies ever made, topping the list is Batman and Robin (which effectively put the franchise in hiatus), but what I found interesting about the top ten was that six of the top ten were made in the previous decade.*

*arguing that the naughties were 2000-2009

I don’t believe that this is just a mere coincidence, there are more chefs in that particular kitchen for that to happen. So what happened in the naughties?

Did potential profit blind the studios to crap cinema?

And if it did, is it possible to reverse the trend?

Perhaps.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Let’s Sin Again…like we did last Summer

A BBC magazine declares Australia the most sinful nation on Earth, followed by the US.

Presuming that there is no old colonial bias at work here, it’s rather interesting to note in which sins both Australia and the US excelled in: Australia ranked first for envy (determined by the amount of thefts that occurred), the US ranked first for gluttony (determined by money spent on fast food).

Also of note:

Lust (determined by amount of pornography consumed) was topped by South Korea, and greed (determined by the percentage of the population earning less than 50% of the median income) was topped by Mexico.

I have yet to see BBC Focus on sale in newsagents here, but you can get a digital preview here. The way the figures came about is rather…interesting. 

Thursday, January 28, 2010

An A for Effort

Apparently LGBT Australians have 85 new law reforms, which include carer’s leave in the advent of you or your partner becoming sick, the addition of same sex partners to be listed on their respective Medicare cards, and the incorporation of same sex couples into the new de facto partner visa.

These are all good and publicised on the website wearitwithpride.com.au,which is the major component in a multimedia campaign to inform the public about the reforms.

I’m quite cool with getting the information out, in fact it definitely needs to be publicised.

The only thing leaving me a bit strange? Part of the PR campaign involves a pop song. (Admittedly a good one by a decent artist: Natalie Bassingthwaite)

My generation (1979 births are Generation X here in Australia) is one of the last ones to have grown up with heavy anti-Soviet propaganda. Now, it may just be my own age talking but, a pop song to celebrate legal reforms seems a bit…

 

Not to mention…

 

Yet ultimately, it’s not the hardcore propaganda that I grew up with (on both sides of the US/Soviet Bloc divide or Sane US/Insane US divide of the GWB years), it’s just a cute, smart way of reaching as many Australians as possible.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Wednesday Jukebox Gets Ready for Eurovision Season

Technically, it’s already started, but with time differences and a different schedule down here, Eurovision season at this corner of the internet is going to begin in February. Nonetheless, stumbling across this campy 1970s chestnut by Japanese quartet Four Leaves* is a reminder that the Trans-Europe sing-a-long is only a few months away.

* RIP Takashi Aoyama

Apple Nickels & Dimes Australia

I cannot say that I am much of an Apple fan. Perhaps it is because everyone seems to think that I: a) already own a Mac and/or iPhone and b) should, because I am a “creative.”

Well, I don’t. I’m pretty much a hardcore PC person. I left Apple around the IIe (2E) period and whatever they have morphed into is nothing I recognise.

I feel it’s necessary to establish my bias because everything Apple does or comes up with seems to arouse such passion that it’s becoming one of those “let’s not talk about it” subjects like race and religion.

Despite my distaste for Apple, I do have an iPod (hell, I’ve gone through several) and the requisite iTunes account. I also have a Zune and a Zune Marketplace subscription that I felt balanced things out between the two titans.

Well, that balance seems to only work in the US, apparently. The Sydney Morning Herald today features an article about the price discrepancy that Australian iTunes customers pay compared to those in the US, a mark up averaging 40% higher, and that is taking the GST into account.

Personally (and here’s that bias again), I always preferred Microsoft’s monthly subscription format as opposed to the per song format of iTunes, but sadly, that’s a bit buggered down here as Zune has yet to debut down under.

The one beacon of hope that might keep Apple in check is Telstra’s Bigpond Digital Music Shop, but as the article mentions, the selection does not match those of Apple’s.

So what’s the alternative?

Well, I’d suggest that old neglected stalwart, the brick & mortar music store.

Never hurts to interact in person once in a blue moon.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The Australia Day Jukebox

First, one of the most successful Australian songs ever to hit the charts (although it flopped massively in the US, then again the US likes to zag when the world zigs musically, ask Robbie Williams).

But for true Australiana, nothing says more than a montage of Australian television themes:

 

Happy Australia Day.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Monday Jukebox Wonders What To Say

A special Australia Day Jukebox coming tomorrow, but to kick the week off, the popular in Australia (but not Australian) Boz Scaggs.

New Look Sunrise is Old Look Today

Not the one with Karl Stefanovic, but the US one…which happens to air 90 minutes before Sunrise.

Much hype was made about the new Sunrise that was launched today, and I don’t quite know what to make of it.

Good Changes

  • The main desk doesn’t look so crowded.
  • Poor Fifi Box won’t be terrorised by well…nearly everything, since she’s now the entertainment editor.

Bad Changes

  • Take the sodding ties off the men. You can be relaxed and serious. The male anchors all look like undertakers.
  • Grant Denyer is back? Has Canberra passed a new law requiring all commercial breakfast shows to employ weathermen with Napoleonic measurements?
  • Despite all the hullabaloo about hiring the same set designer that did the Martha Stewart Show, The Daily Show, and the CBS Early Show, all they got with the new set was the old set from The Today Show (US).
  • The new logo is also pretty much a knock off of the Today Show (US).
  • The word “family” is slipping in a little bit too frequently in reference to the main four (five, if you count Grant Bonaparte) anchors. The second I hear ”Australia’s first family,” I will scream.

Now, new Sunrise has had only one day out on the trot, so perhaps it will find its own Australian flow, but honestly, I think they’d do better to resurrect The Big Breakfast/Arvo and set up shop over at Eveleigh.

Or at least get those damn ties off, it’s not mourning television.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Go McCain women

I guess Cindy McCain was much more Lynne Cheney than Laura Bush. She’s pro-gay marriage, even if her husband isn’t, going so far as to pose with a “NOH8” message. Her daughter Meghan also is pro-gay marriage.

Meanwhile, here in New South Wales, gay couples are not considered fit to adopt children, and the only recognition available is the City of Sydney’s Relationships Declaration Program.

Actually, when you look at the rights available, that puts New South Wales on par with Arizona in terms of rights available, and the ACT on par with…well, civilisation.

The Late Night Debacle for Beginners

I have doubts over the authenticity of this clip, but it does manage to explain the whole saga with cute computer animation. (Courtesy of ABC online’s The Shallow End)

 

The playwright in me would go with characters from King Lear, but I reckon assorted comic book character knock-offs work better in Taiwan.

Meanwhile, I wonder what 7Two is going to put on in Leno’s place at noon. (Hint: Blue Heelers.)

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

William Goes To Redfern

Prince William visits Sydney’s traditional Aboriginal suburb, the site of riots and the home of yours truly.

The ABC has a lovely report with all the details, as I did my best to avoid the chaos (which included a multitude of news helicopters hovering right over my home).

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

You Can Never Be Selfless These Days

Altruism is dead in the media, ever since the Vietnam war, which is why I have to laugh when reporters and talking heads try to make it out that they are acting purely out of “human compassion.”

First, eyebrows were raised when both the Seven and Nine Networks were shown to “save” a baby trapped in the rubble.

Now, CNN’s star doctor is off performing neurosurgery on a young girl injured in the earthquake, managing to squeeze the surgery in between his reporting duties.

Listen, while it is excellent that help was given, I find that there is something extremely unsavoury about reporters making themselves the story. Gupta might get a pass as he is still a doctor and bound by duties of his profession, but would any of these people be willing to do the same outside of the spotlight?

Perhaps, but the sheer luggage that they carry as media figures will always cast a shadow over their “humanity.”

Passive-Aggressive Movie Stars & Network Synchophants

Julia Roberts & Tom Hanks take shots at NBC during the Golden Globes pre-show. Billy Bush does his bit to defend the peacock, which like his famed (and shamed) cousin has seen way better days.




Win One, Lose Several

Air New Zealand managed to get named Airline of the Year while also offending women and apparently making very bad fashion choices.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Friday Jukebox Goes Back to 2009

…Or the late 1970-80s if you want to be technical about it.

These are two clips that really caught my eye in 2009, but forgot to give them their jukebox due.

First is scenes of Tokyo-at-night to the song Yes-Yes-Yes by the ”folk” band Off Course.

Remember Momoe Yamaguchi, the JPop Queen who went all Greta Garbo around 1980? Here she performing I CAME FROM Yokosuka, a rather personal song (given her bio) and a relatively funky one at that (Momoe meets Sly Stone?), although her outfit and the orchestrations lessen the funk.



And finally here's one that is just a total classic, Sade's Nothing Can Come Between Us. (Their new single Soldier of Love is killer...no pun intended.)


It’s All Rather Quiet Down Here

This is a rather interesting time of year down here. Interesting in the fact that the nation (at least in terms of television) has effectively gone on hiatus.

The hiatus makes sense as for the Australian networks this is equivalent to August in the US (although I meteorologically it’s July), in that the ratings season starts next month and it’s time to just slowly tease the audience into watching the new slate of shows.

Unfortunately, unlike the US, the Australian networks aren’t too big on getting experimental over Summer, so the only highlight has been the latest season/series of Outrageous Fortune on Ten and Seven’s slipping in the Kiwi answer to Border Security (which is actually performing quite well).

News-wise, the B teams are doing everything to make every single story AS BIG AS POSSIBLE, emphasising some of the most tenuous Australian (or in a pinch Kiwi) links as a way of justifying the hype.

Meanwhile, if you talk to the average Australian on the street it’s “Cricket. Tennis. Cricket. Tennis. Cricket. Tennis,” with Australia playing Pakistan on Nine, and a slew of high-profile tennis matches on Seven.

I wouldn’t be surprised if anyone at Ten has a series of “Crickness” promos ready to air at some point.

Please, please, please bring on February.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Howard Beale in the making?

The addition of George Negus to The 7PM Project has given the show a sense of gravitas, although one must wonder if he might become the show's Howard Beale-lite as illustrated by his passionate, but nonetheless reasoned argument in reorganising Australian government.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

The Peacock Can’t Keep Its House in Order

For starters, I think calling this saga JayConan Gate (which this article chooses to use) is daft, but that aside, I cannot help but grin with glee as to how NBC’s poor management at the network programming is coming back to bite them in the arse.

Has GE finally flogged them off?

Saturday, January 09, 2010

Worth Noting, Groaning, and Grinning

Several articles caught my eye in today’s Sydney Morning Herald:

Monday, January 04, 2010

First Day Slip Ups

Today marks the first day that Australia effectively goes back to work. Apparently someone at the AAP has been having a rough time adjusting back to the daily grind. This headline being an example: Drivers blamed for road toll.

US cable bloodbath

Courtesy of my mother and the New York Times/AP, I found out that there’s quite the battle royale going on between the US cable companies and the cable network groups over fees. I reckon there are two outcomes:

  1. The government sets up a Cable czar/office, as the article suggests.
  2. A la carte pricing comes into play, which likely will bring upon the end of many cable networks.

Oddly enough, the winners here wind up being the free-to-air channels, especially if unlimited internet ceases to be offered.

Saturday, January 02, 2010

Post-Dramatic Stress?

Here’s an odd story to kick off 2010. Today’s edition of the Sydney Morning Herald has an article on the side effects of method acting.

Yes, kids method acting can mess you up: The article cites actor-character identification as playing a role (no pun intended) in Heath Ledger’s death, Robert Downey Jr.’s drug addiction, and Daniel Day-Lewis freaking out while playing Hamlet.

Somehow, I suspect the actors in The Hangover are not troubled by this issue…well, Mike Tyson maybe.

Thursday, December 31, 2009

A Sign of the decade to come

…or the decade that has been.

Tonight after the fireworks at midnight, Channel Nine will be showing Can’t Stop The Music, aka The Village People movie.

It wouldn’t be that bad if the Teens wind up being the 70s in reverse.

It's also a blue moon tonight.

The Jukebox of the Year 2009

Welcome to Jukebox of the Year, coming this year from Australia. First, the opening act.

 

Not expecting that, eh?

Our first Jukebox is the American Jukebox of the Year. The nominees are:

  • BoA – Energetic
  • Destiny’s Child – Lose My Breath (Live at Music Fair 21)
  • The Juan Maclean – Happy House
  • Lady Gaga – Bad Romance

The winner is:

 

Gaga nearly got it, but it’s just not her year on the Jukebox yet. Besides, the record sales are good consolation.

The next Jukebox is Eurovision Jukebox of the Year.

The nominees are:

  • Inger-Lise Rypdal & Jahn Teigen – Voodoo (live at the Norwegian MGP 1976)
  • Sakis Rouvas – This is Our Night (Live at Eurovision 2009)
  • Sukkerchok – Det’det (live at the Danish MGP 2009)
  • Svetlana Loboda – Be my Valentine! (Anti-crisis Girl) (Live at Eurovision 2009)

The winner is:

 

While Sakis showed nipple, Svetty and her male dancers did everything to recreate Pride Night at the Eagle onstage in Moscow. Add in nonsensical lyrics and pyrotechnics, and Sakis being coy stood no chance.

And now the interval:

 

Actually, Lady Gaga could probably do a good cover of it.

Now, our third Jukebox of the Year is Japanese.

The nominees are:

  • Kumi Koda – Show Girl
  • Oshiri Kajiri Mushi
  • Saori@destiny – WOW WAR TECHNO
  • w-inds. – New World

The winner is:

 

Never underestimate the appeal of a cheeky comedy song.

And now, as the punters start getting antsy and full of VB & Toohey’s, here is the Australasian Jukebox of the Year.

The nominees are:

  • Bluejuice – Broken Leg
  • Empire of the Sun – We Are The People
  • Empire of the Sun – Without You
  • Ladyhawke – Back of the Van

The winner is:

 

Now this was a major upset. Empire of the Sun had the odds in their favour, and Ladyhawke fought the good Kiwi fight, but alas, it was for naught as Bluejuice took them all out.

And now, let’s close this year’s Jukebox with a clip from an opening ceremony.

 

Have a wild, energetic, anti-crisis, thrilling 2010 and whatever we wind up calling the coming decade. (Are we even in agreement of the Noughties?)

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Schadenfreunde im Queensland

It’s under 24 hours until the Jukebox of the Year winners are announced, but in the meantime, enjoy a bit of New Year’s Eve Eve dark humour with the news that The Best Job in the World winner has been stung by a deadly jellyfish. (the ABC’s coverage here, Newscorp coverage here.)

He’s not dead, so you can laugh without fear of a major karma hit.

Jukebox of the Year: The Nominations

Much like when the Oscars/Emmys/Golden Globes are announced, I am up at some ungodly hour so that it can be broadcast at 8:30 Eastern time…in this particular case, that means Australian Eastern Time. (Psych.)

Apologies for the weak humour, but what would a nomination announcement be without one leaden joke.

Anyway, the nominees for Japanese Jukebox of the Year are:

Kumi Koda – Show Girl

Saori@Destiny – WOW WAR TECHNO

Oshiri Kajiri Mushi (the bottom biting bug)

w-inds – New World

So that’s show girls, sensory overload, bum-biting bugs, and w-inds making a dance army out of an after-hours club. Sorted.

The nominees for Eurovision Jukebox of the Year:

Sukkerchok – Det’ det (from this year’s Danish MGP)

Jahn Teigen & Inger-Lise Rypdal – Voodoo (from the 1976 Norwegian MGP)

Svetlana Loboda – Be my Valentine! (Anti-crisis Girl) (from this year’s Eurovision)

Sakis Rouvas – This Is Our Night (also from this year’s Eurovision)

Surprisingly, this was a tough category to call, particularly with the Eurovision final entries. Still, Sakis showing nipple and the let’s-throw-everything-but-the-kitchen-sink Ukrainian entry pipped poor Zoli Adok and dramatic Patricia Kaas to the post.

A new category this year, the American Jukebox of the Year, which will feature one song that hasn’t actually made it to the jukebox, but acknowledges that the Jukebox isn’t entirely in a vacuum.

BoA – Energetic

Destiny’s Child – Lose My Breath (Live at Music Fair 21)

Lady Gaga – Bad Romance

The Juan Maclean – Happy House

Yes, the Gaga got in, even though she has never appeared on the Jukebox. (You have to have some controversy with an awards show.) Mind you, the competition is pretty rough, and interestingly, Beyonce & Co. are probably the weakest. (If Single Ladies was released this year, it could’ve been a contender, but it wasn’t.) Also, since BoA’s album was targeted at the American market, it counts in the American category.

Finally, the nominees for Australian/New Zealand Jukebox of the Year are:

Bluejuice – Broken Leg

Empire of the Sun – Without You

Empire of the Sun – We Are The People

Ladyhawke – Back of the Van

More controversy here as Without You and Back of the Van never appeared on the Jukebox, but both songs had killer videos…and the category needed padding. The Jukebox had to close ranks here, because if it completely represented the local charts, it would be Empire of the Sun versus the Guy Sebastian juggernaut, and I just would not allow that to happen.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

CloudKiwiLand in 2009

While the nominations are being tallied for Jukebox of the Year 2009, TVNZ has kindly provided a review of the crazy antics out in KiwiLand over the past year.

I poke fun at the Kiwis, but it must be said that while Australia’s top-rated local drama is the very MOR Packed to the Rafters* (which had a heap of controversy over a masturbation scene), theirs is the unabashedly sex, drugs, and Shakespeare Outrageous Fortune.

* Underbelly somewhat redeems Australia in this regard.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Backpackers versus Homeowners: The Coming Storm

Being Australia’s most populous city (although Melbourne & Brisbane are catching up) and most popular (ditto) destination for tourists, Sydney manages to amble along with a heady mix of residents and visitors. For the most part, the two groups tend to stay out of each other’s way, although remain keenly aware of their symbiotic existence.

Unlike many cities in the US, for example, Sydney does cater for the long-term leisure visitor. It makes sense: if you’ve travelled literally halfway around the world, you would want to make the most of the visit and not stay for just a week or two. Yet, the long term visitors have often rubbed the permanent residents the wrong way.

Today’s Sydney Morning Herald gives a glimpse into one skirmish, which could possibly change Sydney’s accommodating attitudes towards tourists.

Mind you, on a completely personal level, I wouldn’t get a thrill out of living in a campervan, showering in public, and eating on the beach.

That probably explains why I won’t be working for Lonely Planet anytime soon.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Christmas in the Riverina

...Or the Greater Wagga Wagga region, which is where I am for the next few days.

The temperature has gotten close to 40C daily, I've already had a heat stroke, but provided that I don't hear a single thing about the blizzards on the East Coast or in Europe, I can manage.

Coming soon in the Christmas-NYE period on here: Jukebox of the Year. This year divided into Australian, Japanese, Eurovision, and American categories.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

The December of Compromise

I have no trouble saying that I think that the whole rigmarole over the public option was silly, but since some constituents (I’m not necessarily going to blame politicians for being political) are lemmings who believe everything they hear on FNC, then this “healthcare breakthrough” and the “exchange” that it creates is the third best outcome one could hope for. (At least that’s my interpretation of the CBC’s report.)

It’s bit like the Copenhagen agreement, when I think about it.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Home & Pulp Semi-Fiction

Perhaps indicative of the slow news time (Copenhagen aside) that we are in now, Uncle Rupert’s Daily Telegraph has the drug mishaps of the actors on Home & Away (the less mundane of Australia’s two soap operas) as their front page story.

Interestingly, the story doesn’t make mention of Seven’s new “two strikes and you’re out” policy.

Janet Fife-Yeomans must be channelling Elmore Leonard as some of the passages read like the most pulpiest novel you can imagine:

Lining up some "snow" is just what you do. Sticking a straw or a $100 bill up your nostril and snorting white powder that will eventually eat away your nose, destroy the septum, leave you disfigured. Putting your future up your nose - no big deal. It has a touch of glamour even.

Wow. It's five in the morning and you're beyond excited. You're sitting in a chair in a hair and make-up trailer not far from the North Palm Beach Surf Lifesaving Club, better known in 80 countries around the world as Summer Bay Surf Club House. Your first day on the set of Home And Away, a dream come true.

You've done a lot of modelling although you have little or no acting experience. You're young and handsome and you look right for the part. Basically you will be playing yourself.

Coincidentally, the Epping Studios mentioned in the article shut down this week, as Seven moves to their new facilities in Eveleigh, just adjacent to Redfern…which should elicit a chuckle some.

Personally, I find it funny that Lasance thinks he’s got a good shot in the US*, I’d think Canada or the UK would be the wiser choice.

* Worldwide, it’s interesting to note how few people realise what a strong grip religion and propriety have in the US, especially since Reagan. I think the US is easing up somewhat, but I really don’t think that it has loosened up as much as many non-Americans think it has. Much like the American style of government, American society moves slow in relation to the rest of the world.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Tyra Apparently Does Oz

At least her talk show, which airs on Arena (aka Bravo Australia) early evenings.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Tyra Banks Goes to NZ, Oz goes Scarface

…And NZ goes ballistic, well, at least TV3.

We, in Australia, don’t care. Why? We’ve got drug running rugby players and pregnant women.

Mind you, it would help if the Tyra Banks Show would actually air down here. Although I’d rather have Wendy Williams first.

Thursday Jukebox is a Happy House

Scary as it may seem—particularly for those of us who were teenagers at the time—the end of the naughties will likely bring on an onslaught of 1990s nostalgia.

Listen, I wore flannel like everyone else and listened to tonnes of Juliana Hatfield/Soul Asylum/Soundgarden, but if we are going to have a 90s revival, could we please do right by the early 90s and bring back proper house music? (And you just know Lady Gaga will gladly participate.)

Perhaps The Juan Maclean’s Happy House can lead the charge?

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

A Tale of Two Strikes

If news coverage is an indicator, then Australia is preparing for a proverbial “mell of a hess”" with the planned British Airways cabin crew strike.

Australia Post workers going on strike? Not a big deal at all.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Abbott’s in the sky with Yoghurt

For those who remember the cryptic drug admissions of Clinton, Gore, and even Bush-the-younger, the ABC brings us an interesting tale from Tony Abbott’s past: he had some hemp yoghurt in India and proceeded to be "away with the fairies for about 12 hours”.

I bet you can’t find that flavour at Ben & Jerry’s.

By the way, if you’ve been wondering why I have been absent for a good long period of this week, my fiancĂ© & I have inherited a cat. She’s an aging moggy, but nonetheless this past week has been the pet equivalent of taking a parental leave.

A major highlight: getting her to come out, relax, and amble about during the day. Today, she finally did.

Photo004

I could truly use some of that hemp yoghurt.

Monday, December 07, 2009

It’s Summer, Really it is

I’m rather surprised that my body clock is completely fine with the fact that it is Summer, as long as I manage to avoid any media that does the Christmas = Winter connection.

It does help that for the most part Australian television is pretty much in repeat/low expectations mode until the new year. Down here, the ratings season ends for 10 weeks during Summer and the networks just don’t bother for the most part: Seven goes for Kiwi realty with Borderline and Border Patrol (which are basically Border Security outside the airport and inside the airport respectively), Ten is running a mix of Kiwi and USA Network shows, and Nine is just being Nine.

On the political front, however, there’s been a bucket load of changes: Malcolm Turnbull got kicked out of the Liberal leadership by grinning, Speedo-wearing Conservative Tony Abbott (who pretty much is the Australian Stockwell Day), and Nathan Rees got booted out of the New South Wales premiership by an American-Australian Kristina Keneally. The Australian press swears up and down that her American accent is prominent, but to me she just sounds like a posh Australian (Think Kerri-Anne Kennerley).

Then again, I wouldn’t really notice her accent, would I?

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Saturday Jukebox is in a New World

So a "boy” band walks into an afterhours club and proceeds to do Michael & Janet Jackson’s best dancing moves while yelling that they are in a new world.

And it works. How strange is that?



And just to add to the strangeness, this is the current Japanese ending theme to House.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Thanksgiving Jukebox: Karl Stefanovic Pissed in HD

Here's the "extended" version of Karl Stefanovic drunk* at this year's Logies.

* That's drunk, not sleep-deprived, he's sauced.