He is built like a brick shit house, rational, and smart as hell in comparison to me: He's the one who actually participated in heterosexuality whereas I knew who I was from day one and never went there.
Y'see, I always assumed that my mythical brother would be gay--genetics are too much on our side for him not to be. Alas, he was never to be: a casualty of my stubbornness combined with the age of my parents.
So this is for him:
- Do not eagerly accept the offer of any man, because you can do better and masturbation is really that much more fun.
- After midnight, EVERYBODY wants sex...plan your escape route.
- Cypriot bartenders may seen shifty, but they are trying to suss out whether you are a regular or not.
- Opportunity strikes at any moment: Use sex appeal.
There, I feel like I've done my parental duties.
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