The 2006 Goddamn Tonys Post-Mortem

In short, that was 3 hours of my life that CBS and the League need to return to me.

I should've known this wasn't going to be good when Harry Connick Jr. began the opening number by sounding drunk as a skunk and with a frog in his throat. I was probably blinded because I kept thinking "Hallelujah! No Jackman!"

Then The History Boys started winning.

And winning.

And winning.

You know, even though I was all for Democracy last year, this show well and truly bores me to tears. It's boring, boring, boring. Plus, I'm sorry, all the actors in New York and they couldn't get an American cast to premiere it? It's not like this was full of undiscovered breakout talent.

All my gnashing of teeth about History Boys aside, I have to say that it was the best out of a piss-poor selection this year. Perhaps we can call it the death of the original American play on Broadway, because honestly, the best we could find were 3 foreign plays and 1 so-so American. (And could we kill this Irish play obsession, please?)

Tragic and further proof that Broadway is slipping further into irrelevance.

Now let's get to the other "Boys:" Jersey Boys.

My god, that was one overhyped piece of tourist refuse.

For the past week or so, we have seen John Lloyd Young contort his face in extreme pain (read: constipation) as he "channels" Frankie Valli. That show has been featured on almost every single live daytime television show to the point that I could predict when the switches between the numbers came (since they always did the same damn 3 songs). And were they boring. Well-performed, but boring. (Oddly enough, something that applies to the selection chosen for performance from The Threepenny Opera.)

And those acceptance speeches!

I slightly bought Hoff (even though I wanted to slap him and say "buck up! we're not your therapist"), but Young's was given in such a way that it seemed like he wanted to upstage his castmate.

The award is for Best Actor not Best Mimicry, and I think Hoff and Young realised they weren't in the right categories, so they retrofitted themseleves into it during their acceptance speeches.

That's only reason I could figure out for the crying mess they became. Even the sodding producers seemed to be on the verge of tears!

You'd think they had come up with the 21st Century version of The Cradle Will Rock!

I hold out minor hope that I'll care next year, but the trend is definitely leaning against it.