Rewriting

Rewriting is one of those things that I absolutely hate. In all honesty, I don't see the point of it.

When I write, I get very meticulous. I analyse every single word choice and stage direction to make sure that it is what I want it to say. Scripts are like a house of cards: if you don't place them the right way, then it'll all fall down soon enough. When I finish the first draft, then it's done. I like to kill characters at the end as a big sign to myself to state just how finished I am with the story.

Yet, I find myself in the process of rewriting right now.

So what does that have to do with Luther?*

*And by the way, I would not have known that there were two versions of this video, had I not just seen it this morning on VH1 Classic. That one had no split screen and focused on the white woman a bit more than this one, which focuses on the black woman more. Racial politics at work in Luther Vandross videos, who knew?

Well, Luther, in my view, is an icon of rewriting. He went from small to large to small to large (and so on and so forth). He went from "just waiting for the right woman" to "I'm not talking about it," to "everybody knows and why do we need to talk about it?" The fact of the matter is that we have to talk about it sooner or later. If we don't talk about it, then we're left with the status quo which forced us into the position that caused us to shut our mouths in the first place.

I'm not just talking about homosexuality here, but it certainly applies.

For all the attention to detail and style that I put forth in a play, making sure that every thing is in just right the place, the fact of the matter is that there always a better way to shore it up so that the story and characters stay put even when they get shook around. Likewise, you can craft a facade and relationship with the outside world that may be a lie or a partial truth, but will it withstand the test of time?

No, it won't.

So we rewrite, and rewrite, and rewrite until at some point we die. Even then, we are rewritten as other's observations and memories run contrary to our own self-perceptions. The thought at first filled me dread, because don't we all want to be around to defend ourselves and our viewpoints? Then I paused for a second and really started examining the notion: If I write something, then isn't important that I be willing to return to it, if only to be able to explain it with more knowledge than I have at the moment? In addition, shouldn't we be able to take in new information and perspectives without it damaging our sense of self?

Now, this might seem to run contrary to what I said about Evangelion earlier, but I don't think so. (See, I'm rewriting!) Part of the rewriting process, in my view, is being willing to let go and say it truly has been worked on enough by me.