The View-The Gym-Splash Post-Mortem: We Like Free

Initially, I thought this would be an all View night: Just me having my Twisted Teas and watching music videos while assorted characters came in and out.

Not quite.

It seems I have become--without realising it--the Tuesday night drinking buddy of a man I shall call J. J is 4 years my Junior and perhaps the embodiment of attributes that used to be mine. J is also a major bear-chaser. (NB: I am not. I like hairy chests and all that, but I'm too tied to mental attraction for it to be the be-all end-all.) J also talks very fast and 90% about himself. Nonetheless, J's observations are quite humourous, so it doesn't come across as completely annoying.

What is interesting about drinking with a bear chaser, is that of course you attract bears. I was catching up with J when his two bear acquaintances (both in their early 40s) came in. The short one--Napoleon, if you will--could not get over the fact that The View has a "Boycott M&M/Mars" sign out in front. Personally, I thought the advert and website were offensive, so I support them on it.

Not Napoleon.

He just went on and on and on about how stupid it was to have that sign up there. Since J knew him better than I, I kept my opinions to myself, while J switched the subject to whatever was running through his mind. Did that stop Napoleon? Like hell it did.

I ought to start making a list of things I should do, if decorum hadn't done a number on me:

#1? Shut Napoleon up.

Since J was wired via liquor, we found ourselves in The Gym which looks eerily like Boom in Milwaukee but with the screens tuned to sports. Even more hilarious, J & I were the biggest guys in the place. Everybody else was either a hag or a reed-thin twink.

Finally escaping, I made my way to Splash--where everybody knows me...under a pseudonym. I cannot quite figure out how I get free entry, but with the admission of a t-shirt, I apparently got free coat check.

And let's not even mention the Long Island Tea discount.