Wednesday Jukebox Wonders Where That Itch Came From

Kalomira's performance at last night's Semi final in Belgrade. She's all Disney-esque until the dance break...

eurovision GREECE 2008 - Kalomira - Secret Combination
Uploaded by jief75

That's straight up LI hoochie those moves.

I wonder what the logic was behind this...

Eurovision.tv had the first semi-final artists say their thoughts immediately after performing.

Uh-oh.






My thoughts on the artists: Dima Bilan is still a twat (albeit with improved English skills), Rebeka is Slovenia's answer to Bette Midler or Sandra Bernhardt (get her a show on tv now), Andy Kaufman isn't really dead--in fact he's hiding right out in the open as this year's Bosnian entry, The Belgians were delusional --and it's funny, The San Marinese were delusional--and it's kind of sad, and Isis Gee can go all pious as she'd like, but she still looks like she's dressed for the Playboy Mansion.

Eurovision 2008: The 1st Hikaruland Post-show

First and foremost, I'm recovering from surgery (was intubated--or whatever the term is for having tubes down the throat, ergo the hoarse voice).

Secondly, Kalomira skanked up that song!! If there's one thing we Americans do well, it's knowing how to shake it in order to sell it.

Thirdly, Dima Bilan shirtless...oddly unimpressive.

All this and more in the first Eurovision 2008 post-show. (Conveniently in two parts because I forgot about Andorra--apparently so did the voting public--and Azerbaijan).

Happy Eurovision Week

Yes, it's this week.

TVE Internacional doesn't appear to be showing any of the semis, but I will remain optimistic. (I used to watch this on a computer, and I can tell you, it is no fun at all unless you're an optometrist.)

A bit of a change this year, I will be doing a vlog pre-show and post-show instead of live blogging.

Now to kickstart Eurosong Week, here are three of the Big 4: Spain, France, and the UK. Surprisingly, Germany is the weak link in this year's Big 4.

I've said my reservations about Spain, but there is an odd comedic appeal there.



I like M. Tellier, he looks like he just stepped off a ELO video shoot circa 1980, and dammit if the song doesn't make you stop and ponder "what exactly does he mean by 'chivers'?"



And finally, Andy Abraham seems to be strong vocally and the stage is apropos for a funk song, but they've got to: a) lose the pyros, and b) get some different shots, the man is an engaging performer. Use it!

Marriage in California

Quite frankly...Wow.

Freeman Endorses Shrugged Shoulders

Edwards Endorses Obama

The question remains, does he endorse the cult or the man?

A Tale of 50 Nations and 6 Federal Colonies

Some food for thought during this election-mad year.

Fun debate of the day: Was George Washington the real first president of the United States?

Not quite.

George Washington was the first president under the present 1787 Constitution. The honour of being the actual first president of the United States falls to John Hanson, at least according to Washington as well as Thomas Jefferson, but even they got it wrong, according to some.

Say what?

Well, there's a few little gaps in US History as it is taught in many schools:

• 1776: The signing of the Declaration of Independence.
• 1777: The drafting of the Articles of Confederation.
• 1781: The final ratification of the Articles of Confederation.
• 1787: The ratifying of the Constitution
• 1789: George Washington elected as president.

So who was president from 1776 to 1789? Turns out there were a slew of presidents before Washington came into power, and if you include pre-Declaration of Independence days, they stretch all the way back to 1754.

If you just include post-Declaration days, the first president of the United States (meaning the person in charge on July 4, 1776) was...John Hancock! (Although he himself was only the 2nd President of the 2nd Continental Congress.)

Several more present day fun facts to win a round of Trivial Pursuit :

• Who was the president when the United States hit its present border (meaning Puerto Rico all the way to Guam)? Not William McKinley, who was president when the US took over Cuba, Guam and The Philippines (since Cuba & The Philippines are now independent and have been so since 1902 and 1946 respectively); Not Jimmy Carter, who was president when the Panama Canal Zone was dissolved, but Bill Clinton, who was president when The Trust Territory of the Pacific ceased to exist. (Even so, you could argue that as a UN trusteeship, the Trust Territories weren't really a part of the United States, but the Compact of Free Association still binds them to the US.)
• Have DC residents been able to participate in national elections since inception? No. DC residents have only had the right to vote since 1961 (Thank you, 23rd Amendment!). Residents of Puerto Rico, the US Virgin Islands, American Samoa, Guam, and the Northern Mariana Islands cannot vote in national elections, however, residents of some US territories and commonwealths can be drafted and pay some federal taxes that other US citizens pay as well.
• Which US Territory's residents aren't US Citizens? American Samoa. Although they do send a representative to the House of Representatives, American Samoans have to apply for actual US citizenship.
• Which US Territory or Commonwealth doesn't have any representation (voting or non-voting) at all in Congress? The Northern Mariana Islands. (Interestingly, with the exception of Puerto Rico, all of the Commonwealth/Territory members of the House are Democrats. The Representative from Puerto Rico caucuses with the Republicans.)

Truly, the US is more like a collection of 50 nations and 6 federal colonies (9 if you include the COFA nations) than one country with equal rights for all.

Eurovision 2008: Rehearsals of the Day

(Although Russia actually performed yesterday.) It looks like the stagers for Dimaland have thrown everything but the kitchen sink at it. A skating rink? A skating rink?

 

Now onto rehearsals that actually happened today. 

Turkey looks less menacing (drat!), but vocally even better. Still it is just the first rehearsal, so tweaks are likely to happen.

Miss Lorak looks like she's prepared to take everyone out.

By the way, Finland rehearsed yesterday. Apparently they plan to perform bare-chested. This leads to a rather interesting interpretation of the lyrics. If that wasn't reason enough to like Teräsbetoni, they are also rather bitchy about Lordi.

The First Bosnian Rehearsal

I can best describe this as Four Brides for One Brother and his deranged "sister?" or one three minute long epileptic fit.

Eurovision.tv has a Youtube channel. Makes a lot of sense, frankly.

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Belgrade

And I don't just mean because Serbia just went through a nasty election, just like we're prepping to do.

No, I mean that it is Eurovision time. 

Eurovision in Serbia, but I reckon this is not quite the old international pariah Serbia, but rather one in transition (especially if the elections are an indicator). If they're willing to forgive us the bombing of the Chinese embassy, as well as send a lesbian as their representative last year (who proceeded to win the whole thing), then I'm going to make nice and build a new rapport.

Since I'm not going (after all the travelling I've been through, I'd like to not live out a suitcase for a few weeks), any coverage on here will be gleamed from online or via TVE internacional. 

For more day to day coverage with a funny, sharp, fans' POV, take a gander at All Kinds of Everything and OnEurope, both of which are blogging the controlled chaos of the rehearsal period.

Saturday Jukebox Likes to Cover Its Mistakes

Tormento's cover of Subsonica's Tutti I Miei Sbagli impressed the hell out of me. (Although it's really the SoulVillaDelics doing the heavy lifting.)



For reference, here is the original version performed by Subsonica at Sanremo 2000.

From The "Obvious Conclusions" Department

Adults in Europe get drunk to have sex.

Much like adults in North America.

And those in South America.

And Australia.

And Asia.

And Africa.

W the Movie

It's not that there's a movie about the current president in the works. (Not a surprise.)

It's not that Oliver Stone is doing it. (One would be surprised if he didn't do it.)

It's that he's planning a late 2008 release.

There is something to be said for allowing the perspective of time to take place.

Thursday Jukebox Is On The Ho Stroll

Yes, I said it, "ho." Now let me explain.

Namie Amuro has a new video out. Well, it's not really hers as it's a duet with DOUBLE (who is really one person, but originally the name of a sister act, except it isn't anymore--see wiki.theppn for more). DOUBLE has got a really good voice, but--how shall I put this politely--her image encourages the viewer to pay attention to things other than her singing...a bit like Mariah Carey (in her current I-know-you-want-my-cookie phase).

Anyway, DOUBLE has a collaboration album coming out soon and her duet with Ms. Amuro, Black Diamond is the lead off single.

A pretty decent song and video, but the choreography and styling! Poor DOUBLE and Namie looked like they should be doing the ho stroll in Hell's Kitchen (and I swear I've seen amateur drag queens do the moves they did during the dance break).

By the way, the chorus can be read in a very interesting way if you apply my crackpot theory about diamonds to it, and look closely at the extras. (I know they're saying "when you meet a guy who's fly," but drag kings do use the male pronoun.)

God Save Those of US With an IQ over 30

Yesterday, the Daily News featured Sarah Jessica Parker's annoyance with Sex & The City girls taking over New York. Now, it brings us the story of how Gossip Girl is trying to recapture the same magic, via the glory that is a modern-day advertising offensive (in both senses of the word).

I manage to avoid Times Square, so the billboards aren't that big a deal (hell, I had one staring at me for several months--by the way, every single male cast member of that show looks identical), but these "IT guides" give me a bit of worry. Apart from the spate of foolish suburban girls getting robbed/carjacked/murdered every other weekend, there's one other concern: these fools will be strolling down 7th Avenue at all hours looking for these "hot places," while 99% of us will be trying to get from point A to B.

I'm not too keen on these talking billboards either.

And What Are You Going To Do About It, Sarah?

Sarah Jessica Parker admits that New York City has lost its "creative energy," in a Daily News article. Admitting culpability, however, doesn't look like it's forthcoming, despite what Matthew Broderick (her husband) says.

Saturday Jukebox is a Soulhead

Maybe I just have a dirty mind due to the Supahead controversy, but Soulhead does kind of sound a little bit risque as a name for a Japanese R&B/Hiphop duo, especially if they're sisters.

Nonetheless, I think they're ace.

First off, the scorching hot video for Fiesta--No prizes for guessing the inspiration, especially if you remember the early 1990s.



Soulhead - Fiesta
Uploaded by False_I_Love_You


Then there's Feel Like Jumping, which looks like it was tailormade for Sesame Street. (FWIW, there is nothing on the planet more sugary than Japanese children's television, so it seems the director allowed the sisters maintain a shred of urban cred.)



SOULHEAD - FEEL LIKE JUMPING
Uploaded by Ozro77

If anyone could explain the video to Sparkle Train, I'd be very grateful. I don't quite get what a suburban train station in pre-revolutionary Shanghai has to do with dedicating a song to "my homies strugglin' through." (Unless the director is showing sympathy for the Chiang Kai-Shek government.)

Dash05da023
Uploaded by dadacha

And finally, the video for Get Up. I can't read the writing at the airport scene (I'm guessing it's Ishigaki, which is part of Okinawa) , so I can't say exactly where the video is shot, but doesn't it just make you want to jump on a plane to wherever it takes place?

SAGging

Uh oh, the rumblings of a SAG strike grow ever closer.

Hikaruland Vs. April

While much has gone on during my absence, it could also be argued that very little has. I'm not really going to debate that, but I'm going to try to pounce on the big stories of April (at least the ones that I've heard).

• Obama-Wright: Personally, I think it's all asinine. I don't disagree with anything that Wright has said (based on the snippets I've heard so far), but the debacle is further proof that people forget that there is a way to communicate your message. I also think that Obama should've realised LOOOOONG before he launched into his candidacy that perhaps this association may be a liability.
• Obama the candidate: It's not really been a secret on here, but I'm finally going to say it out loud. I don't support Obama at the moment. Should he win the nomination, I'll vote for him without reservation. This moment in time, however, I just have trouble understanding why he feels the need to run now, nor do I feel that he should. The issues that he has right now illustrate his naivete and to some degree his arrogance with the rest of us. He just comes across to me as that smug vegan with their own backyard garden that feels the need to lecture you about how sinful you are for not living the way he does. I'd love to see a black president, but he doesn't strike me as the one to bring that to fruition. The only plus he seems to have is that he does not have Bush or Clinton in his name.
• Beijing 2008: This is going to be a shitstorm. Full stop. Not on the level of Munich 1972, but it's going to get ugly.
• Delta-Northwest & United-US Airways: I'm actually for these mergers. Emotionally, I wish Northwest was the surviving carrier, because I think they will be dragged down by Delta, but the weirdness that the market is in dictates that Delta should be the survivor. As for United-US Airways, it also makes sense, in that United gets a serious foothold on the East Coast (that Dulles hub is a joke for domestic connections) , and reinforces its European stance. Cruelly, poor US Airways will barely get a chance to operate its China routes before being swallowed up by United.
• That photo in Vanity Fair: I am constantly amazed that celebrities forget that the puritan mindset that formed the US persists to this day. The American public likes being shocked, but they also (or at least make the appearance of being so) like to see a good modern day witch hunt. My advice to the next teen star anxious to make the transition: do it and say nothing at all.
• Actors Strike?: On a completely petty level, I'd like to see SAG tarred and feathered the way the WGA was during their strike; however, the WGA strike delayed production so much, and a SAG strike with mess up the 2008-09 season, so I hope they resolve it. (Plus SAG stood by the WGA, it's only fair to do the same to them.)
• Zimbabwe: Just give up, Mugabe. You'd think he'd at least try to get rid of the Hitler moustache already.
• I thought she was dead: Laurie Bembenek is appealing to the US Supreme Court. This case is almost as old as I am. I don't think she did it, but there comes a time when you just accept that you can't win.

May Day 2008

It seems appropriate to resume action at this corner of the Internet on May Day.

Where are we as of 2008?

• The US manufacturing base is decimated. (Want proof? Go to China, Indonesia, or Vietnam and see the difference in prices for consumer goods.)
• Lack of economic foresight or just sheer disdain for others is allowing a chasm between the haves and have-nots. Not that this all that shocking, but the fact of the matter is that the face of the have-nots is becoming more diverse with each passing month. The day of people applying for food stamps in Ralph Lauren sounds probable.
• Golden Parachutes are still happening.
• On the positive side, the notion of Universal Health Care has begun to edge its way to the forefront of national dialogue. (As to why it took so long to even get to this level, I have no clue. That said, we're only now realising that trickle-down economics does not work.)
• As isolationist as this sounds, I think that the EU and/or the PRC usurping the US's role on the international stage is a good thing. Too many years of looking outwards has left our house in disarray, and as I see it, getting our house in order seems to be the theme of Campaign 2008.

So perhaps May Day 2009 will see the US taking action--as opposed to rhetoric--towards its citizens. Perhaps, just perhaps, Americans will realise that government has the responsibility to protect its citizens, not just arbiter disputes.

I'll be optimistic.