Splash-Stonewall-The View Post Mortem: Halloween in July

Apologies for the high interval between posts, but heat seriously does me in and sometimes it takes a high amount of energy to just be an automaton.

The night started off at Splash, where again the Cypriot was working downstairs and taking his sweet time in getting anything else beyond the first drink. There's a bartender upstairs who I'm quite keen on (and vice versa, believe me, because you've got to be blatant for me to pick it up), but ever since Splash has decided to have karaoke up there, there's no chance in hell of me getting my drink on with him.

That said, I have to admit the video selection was decidedly retro. It started off with a Carpenters tribute, followed up with Bette Midler (and Katie Couric!?) singing "Hey Big Spender," then Martha & The Vandellas doing "Heatwave," and when I left The Supremes were singing "Stop! In the name of love." Judging from that group, you wouldn't think that it was Black & Latin night just a few hours later.

Not that I would be a participant in it tonight, since I had to be down in The Village later on (after a quick Amaretto Sour down at The Stonewall, a quick drink because I had to go meet someone and because the weirdness of seeing peroxide blonde Valley Girls drinking next to me while Method Man played in the background, was just too much).

I eventually wound up--completely drenched--at The View.

Full Moons are known to bring out weird people. The same can be said of rain. I couldn't put my finger on it, but there was something definitely askew. I was no exception.

As you may or may not know, I'm a "former" anorexic and struggle often with body image issues. I mention this because I was wearing an article of clothing that I rarely wear outside the confines of my apartment: a loose tank top.

I really don't like showing skin in public. It goes back to the days when I was overweight and felt like The Hunchback of Notre Dame on a daily basis. I remember how I used to feel watching other guys doff off their shirts as if it was nothing and feeling a mix of jealousy and lust. Two thoughts would enter my head: 1) "Why can't I be so free and uninhibited?" 2) "Why do they think they're so hot?"

So tonight I challenged myself and to be honest, it was far from easy. I felt like I was wearing a Halloween costume on October 30th. My instinct was to run back to the apartment and immediately cover up before going out again. Yet, I still wanted to at least for one night chase away the demons that haunted me.

I came up with a modified mantra that most people use when encountering bears: "Don't be afraid, because there is no spotlight on you," a take on the popular "they're more scared of you, than you are of them."

And it's true.

It took a sudden downpour for me to realise something that most people pick up in elementary school.

The question is, can I remember it?