Free Siberia!

Not only because this part of the internet believes that Siberia would be much better off as an independent entity, but also because would you really want to be associated with a nation that considers him a gay sex symbol?

I can see (if not agree with) why Putin could be considered handsome WITH CLOTHES ON!

Bare-chested, however?

Some people need to get their end over more often.

Fire up the Time Machine

...because I don't want this lot leading us into the future.

Beloit College--in its annual effort to make itself relevant (but pfft! it's in Beloit)--published yet another list of what this year's Freshmen class grew up with.

Personally, I find these snapshots of a generation disturbing enough:

"'I actually visited the Berlin Wall with my parents when I was in fifth grade,' said Jacob Williams, 18, of Louisville Ky., who is going through freshmen orientation at Beloit this week. 'I didn’t know a lot about the history, but I think it was a great piece of architecture.'"

"'You feel that you can joke about it now,' said freshman Jenny Posh, 18, of Menomonee Falls, Wis., who said her only knowledge of the Cold War came from studying it during high school."

"These students witnessed an age of triumphant capitalism when stadiums were named for companies, product placement became ubiquitous in movies and Wal-Mart has always been a bigger retailer than Sears."

"And then there’s technology: They use the online encyclopedia Wikipedia for research, grew up telling the world about themselves on MySpace and Facebook and are constantly talking (or texting) on their cell phones."

Honestly, it's enough to make you want to get a knitting needle, or at least tell Al Gore to fly kite instead of inventing the internet.*

*Not that I think this lot would get that joke, or even know who Al Gore is beyond that 'old guy talks about the environment."

Coming Soon: The 2008 Presidental Race on Hikaruland

(sigh)

Because quite frankly it is important to cover it, but let me just get the following off my chest:

1. Is it me, or are they rushing this thing too early, like Christmas sales in October? I do know the importance, and I am quite aware of why this is a special race, but good god, PATIENCE!
2. No Gore, No Clark, no candidate I care about at the moment.
3. SP-USA hasn't even had its convention yet, so could we at least let us all get to October? (I'm leaning towards Dwight Welch, and not just because he has good aesthetic taste in his blog template.)
4. Wouldn't it be fun if US elections were like those in parliamentary countries wherein the whole shebang is over in a few months? (Although between you and me, I find the lack of term limits a little bit unnerving.)

Tommy Wakes Up in the Real World

...and realises that nobody wants him--even in Iowa.

Vodaphone Presents the United Kingdom by HSBC

During the sabbatical from this corner of the internet, I went on vacation, of which I stopped off in the UK for the first time in 3 years.

Like most places, things have changed in the intervening years. The most peculiar change being that the rampant commercialism which seemed to just be held back in 2004, is now flowing freely. Nearly everything is up for grabs, as the "New" Labour "greed-is-good" disciples continue their reign.

(Lest you think I'm approaching this from the stance that the US is better...believe me, we aren't, we really... really aren't, I mean when was the last time you heard something referred to as just the "X Bowl at Y City Field" without 500 different companies cramming their names in between.)

It just makes you wonder if things a running towards a Jennifer Government situation.

Of course, there is a nice darkly comical aspect to having your name plastered all over the place: when you balls it up, everybody does know your name.

Monday Jukebox Wonders What Was Norway Like in 1975?

Judging by the entries from that year's MGP (held in February), it must've been a fun place.

First off Hastverk (Hurry), first performed by that Ja(h)n Teigen:



And secondly by his one-time other half Anita Skorgan (her performance compared to Teigen's makes you wonder if they were kind of a Norwegian precursor to Whitney & Bobby)



And then there's Voodoo, first "performed" by (the loud and not-necessarily on key--at least to my ears) Gudny Aspaas* & Il Teigen:

*Listen to Gudny's version of Mata Hari, the eventual winning song, as performed by Anne Karine Strøm, who must've passed on the drugs to her costumer.



Later in the show Il Teigen dropped his band (who were playing backup for the first round performances) and performed the song with uber-innocent Inger-Lise Rypdal, exchanging psychedelic rock for campy progressive symphonic rock.




By the way, wouldn't be fun if NRK brought back this format of small band versus full orchestra versions of each entry? (I know we live in a backing track world, but we also live in a remix silly one.)

Many thanks to Euroencyclopedia on Youtube.

Is it because of the beer?

Not to be flip about terrorism, but apparently there may have been several terrorist dry runs at US airports...including (brace yourselves) Milwaukee.

San Diego, I understand. (Navy)

Houston, I understand. (Oil)

Baltimore, I understand. (Close to Washington)

Milwaukee, quite frankly, ain't got jack except for TV nostalgia...and it's not that close to Chicago the way Baltimore is to Washington.

Monday Jukebox Does One for The Road

What better send off than with Big Mama?

(Somebody give these women the international career they deserve!)

First off Sister:




And because we must always end upbeat: Nevermind



See you later this month!

From The "Modern Politics Are Absurd" Department

("Broken Clock" division.)

Most people believe Cheney needs to go...that's the good news.

Several of the Right-winger reasons why are seemingly straight from Lewis Carroll.

That's the bad (as in "head-smacking, what dimension am I living in?") news.

Ah for the days of "Fuddle Duddle!"

A Half-Hour in New-Age Pseudo-Christian Happiness

A half-hour because that is all I could take.

Upon entering a hall full of Benetton ads come to life sitting in the chairs, 4 people in business casual sang some rousing song that I'm surprised The Polyphonic Spree hasn't done yet.

The Benettons clap along wide-eyed, and few of them claim to get the spirit. My fellow undercover agent said that the sincerity of everyone clapping must be taken with a grain of salt, as this is a popular place of worship for actors (in Chelsea? Chorus Boys! Both young and old.)

A woman then gets onstage and relates some long-winded spiel about membership and commitment (somehow involving her leaving her marriage), which is the sign for all new members to embrass themselves publicly, and for everyone else to turn to everyone nearby and say "welcome."

I did not stand up, nor did my undercover agent. It's better not to get close to people who so eagerly fake sincerity.

The Polyphonic 4 get onstage again and sing some daft ditty that gets more people stirred, or at least wanting to appear that they are stirred. It's The PTL in the middle of Chelsea.

The Polyphonic 4 then lead the congregation in a "Meditation" as the lights go down.

It got all too Saint Germain (the kooky mystical religion that took over my father after he went crazy in the early 1990s) for me, so the two of us promptly left to go get drunk and have a cigarette.

Lucky Saturday Jukebox Pays Twice

Combining the two obsessions of this corner of the internet: here is LaGaylia Frazier's It's In The Stars, which competed in Melodifestivalen 2004 (aka the year when Miss Ph kicked everybody else's ass) :




The song was subsquently "covered" by squeaking-their-way through puberty w-inds.

W-inds - It's in the stars

LaGaylia has a slight edge on the tweens in my opinion, but they have more flash (and no 3 minute limit).

Lucky Saturday Jukebox Says Puberty Is Mean

...especially when you're in a Japanese boyband.

Case point: w-inds

Here they are in 2001:

W-inds - Feel the Fate

(Racial harmony via happy-go-lucky Japanese Tween Pop?)

And here they are this year (with the Japanese image song from Shrek 3)

W-inds - Love is the Greatest Thing [PV]

Better beats, (arguably) better choreography, but wouldn't you hate to try to hit those notes all career-long?

Coming Attractions: Hikaru Goes To Church

This Sunday, Fearless Leader Goes to Church.

Seriously, I am attending church.

Now, granted this is one of those funky new-age churches which is very accepting of gays (it's even got a gay preacher), but nonetheless my happily secular-reared self is attending church!

How weird is that?

Perhaps the hilarity stems more from the fact that all these feel-good places are interested more in your wallet than your spiritual growth. I'm an avowed Taoist if anything, so the notion that people have to be reminded by some high and mighty that it's alright to be one's self is already absurdly funny to me. The fact that they need a pack mentality rife full of consumerism in addition to that is even funnier.

Yet, I am going to go with a shred of an open mind...and 4 Smirnoff Ices in my stomach.

If you build it they will come...

Really, they will...We're certain of that...Well, who are they exactly?*

* I haven't lost my mind, but like a broken clock, the Sun can occasionally be right.

Why I Still Love Elliot (Spitzer)

He doesn't just call them like he sees them, he calls them out.

Recess until January? That's just wrong.

Pride 2007

This is what it means to be out.

And this is why it matters to march.

Take That Revival at Hikaruland: Sure & Could It Be Magic

Little known "fact": The video for Sure was a saving-face measure after C4 said no to the pilot for a Take That sitcom. It would've given AbFab a run for its money, what with Robbie playing an M & S & S & M queen (Is Mark his Master?), Mark trying to keep the lads from going to court over child endangerment, Gary coming up with cute little melodies, and Jason & Howard doing...something.

Again with the video having nothing to do with the lyrics in the song. In fact the theme here is how often can we see Mark Owen's bare torso and Robbie Williams look alternatively petrified and deliriously happy. At least we're spared Gary Barlow dancing...for the most part.

Take That Revival at Hikaruland: I Found Heaven & Everything Changes

Continuing the Take That revival theme.

1. Interesting how they look pissed off for half of the video, and beaming for the other half.
2. What's with the liberal bare-chested shots of Gary, Howard, Mark? (I understand Howard & Mark, but why Gary? And hell, why not Jason & Robbie for that matter?)
3. The video does look like it should be the theme song to Lie Down With Dogs.
4. The hair! The hair! Gary Barlow is not Dolph Lundgren.

Several things:

1. What the hell does the video have to do with the song? Exactly whom are they saying doesn't change?
2. Why is a group of young British men from 1995 invading a Lower East Side cafe circa 1920? Why aren't the regulars pissed off? I'd be if my pleasant afternoon was shattered by a bunch of people prancing around telling me that I haven't changed.
3. Gary Barlow isn't dancing!
4. Robbie must've thanked his lucky stars that he didn't have to sing this live, that's one brutal falsetto.
5. Shot on the same day with the same extras? Kylie Minogue's video for Give Me Just A Little More Time.

Take That Revival here at Hikaruland

Quite unexpectedly, I'm in the midst of a Take That nostalgia kick, spurred on by seeing the documentary that was released last year.

Very interesting stuff, I must say.

Some observations:

• Gary Barlow hit the wall...hard, none of the others did.
• I don't care what sort of justification Robbie Williams came up with, he damn well should've gone to the reunion.
• Mark Owen still looks 12.
• They really did market Howard as the sex symbol of the group, though he never really did it for me.

And the most interesting one:

• For the love of god, when the hell is Jason Orange going to come out? It looked like he was on the verge of saying it through the whole show: the gender-nonspecific pronouns, the aimless journey in search of himself, the fact that he appeared to have no love life whatsoever, and using Lulu as a beard!

It says something when Mr. Out & In [the closet] Robbie Williams comes across as more accepting of his sexuality than poor Jason.

By the way, what the hell went on between him & Robbie? That tiff between them sounded like something way more personal than just bandmates having friction. You don't get that sort of enmity without some serious deep feelings being tread upon.

The Idiot Mayor Gets A Clue

...and changes his political affilation.

Shame he didn't do it in 2004, when it would've really mattered to everyone living in 4 mile radius of Madison Square Garden!