Not Again

Now it's two Korean backpackers gone missing, according to the ABC.

Meanwhile, Jamie Neale is looking like he might want to check out Patricide for Dummies .

UPDATE: Sadly, the two Korean backpackers have been found dead.

Woo Hoo! More L&O!

An embarrassing admission: I was worried that I would have to give up one of my favourite televisual comfort foods, Law & Order upon moving down here.

I needn't have worried: Channel Ten airs all of the flavours from Original to Crazy Male Ingredients (aka Criminal Intent).

Now, according to TV Tonight, Ten is adding the new Law & Order UK version to its lineup, which is--and makes no attempt to hide this fact--old Law & Order scripts adapted to the British legal system.

This could be interesting to watch, with a 50/50 chance of being either unintentionally hilarious or mind-numbingly dull.

How does the nickname Law & Order: Fish & Chips sound?

Me Me Me...Mine Mine Mine

I've refrained commenting on the British backpacker saga when it was going on, because...well...I thought it was a sham.

To quote The 7pm Project: What 19 year old leaves a hostel without a mobile?

Now comes word that for all of his claims that he was going to donate all of his TV interview money to the SES, not one cent has made it to his rescuers (cue moans from the Nine News offices, laughter from the offices of all the other news organisations), plus he's also bickering with his far from camera-shy father, who wants his own cut.

Interview with Jamie Neale

Personally, I think it all doesn't add up, except in the eye$.

Meanwhile, up in Queensland, the Australian workers on Hamilton Island (home of the "best job of the world") claim Alcatraz style conditions while the Brit that won the aforementioned job lives it up.

What do you expect from a team called the Maroons?

Given the controversy going on in the NRL, you'd think all those State of Origin (interstate rugby tournament) would be on their best behaviour.

Apparently not, according to Uncle Rupert's papers.

According to an article in The Australian, several players from the Queensland Maroons enjoyed a home-made party drug combined from an insomnia tablet mixed with Red Bull. The purpose of the mixture was to ward to effects of binge drinking.

Personally, I'd suggest taking Chaser Plus, but perhaps I'm a bit too square.

The Revival of Thursday Jukebox

Energetic, one of my favourite tracks from BoA's US/English language debut album now has a video, which is also going to tie in with a re-release of the album in a few months. Some may think it's repetitive, but in my opinion, the song is catchy (especially with the new bridge added) full stop.

Bonus: I've never followed Brown-Eyed Girls that closely (too ballad heavy), but their new song Abracadabra does have that nice "sound attack"quality to it, which is the flavour du jour in KPop these days. The video also happens to blend well with the lyrics. Watch it to the end for the interesting Diabolique twist.

New Zealand Wonders: Why are we poor?

The ABC is reporting that New Zealand is setting up a task force (not a commission, but a full on task force) to find out why it's singing the economic blues and losing workers*.

* New Zealand citizens can work in Australia on a Special Category Visa that is granted upon arrival--provided they have no serious diseases or criminal convictions. Australian citizens have reciprocal rights in NZ.

My initial reaction is that this was quite funny, but actually I think this is somewhat a smart idea; however, I wonder how much will this cost New Zealand taxpayers?

Only a few days ago, the ABC also ran a story about how the New Zealand dependency of Tokelau--which is only accessable by boat--has petitioned the government to pay for a new boat to replace the 1970s one which is rickety at best.

Wellington's response: It'd cost more to get a new one.

The PM said he'd like to go visit Tokelau, but not on that boat.

I think the task force might find more answers looking at home, than overseas.

At probably a third of the cost, I reckon.

The more things stay the same...

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Perhaps it's the distance speaking, but this incident somewhat explains a feeling that I tended to feel in the US: a sort of heightened tension and fear of each other that somehow glues us all together. It's the old expression "better the devil you know" in operation.

Down here, I've noted that people tend to build very high fences around their homes, which to me suggests that they are hiding something from the rest of the world.

Not so.

The high fences are not interpreted by other Australians as suspicious, but just a way to maintain privacy within the home. There's no fear of the other at play, it's more a case of "mind your own business."

Conversely, at least where I grew up in Wisconsin, fences were kept low and curtains tended to be left open, as if to suggest that we are not afraid to show what goes on inside, and when curtains are drawn then it is a cause for concern.

Down here, most people chose to entertain from home and do so often. Back in Wisconsin, enteraining from home was a special occasion that occurred at most once every quarter.

I must admit that I still bristle at the sight of high fences, but perhaps that will fade in time. I can only hope that the same can be said of the mistrust between Americans towards one another.

From the Ashes of This Afternoon

(Yes, This Afternoon has been cancelled. Not that anyone noticed, mostly because it was night when that show ever finished.)

While everyone, their grandparents, and their pets was watching Masterchef Australia (think Top Chef and you have 99.9% of the format), TEN's real golden child is The 7PM Project which premieres today.

A product of Rove McManus's production company, the show swears up and down that it is not The Daily Show.

Of course it's not, they've got a panel of comedians, not just one with a supporting cast.

Actually, I think the show could really do some ratings damage given that it seems to be on the right network in the right timeslot, regardless of the content. It also helps that the head of network programming is not expecting an overnight success, according to the Sydney Morning Herald:

We absolutely believe in this strategy and we're going to give it time to find its feet. I remember night two ofMasterChef was 900,000 (viewers) and people were saying it's all over and then in a couple of weeks it was up to 1.6, 1.7 million. This show will take a bit more time to find its legs but if we're confident with the content and we're happy with the direction, it will stay

Good luck.

One Born Every Minute...

Suckers, that is.

I have been holding my tongue on this for quite some time, but I just have to say this:

Parky: The One-Man Show looks like either the daftest or most blatantly public ego massages I have ever seen.

For A$92.50+ you can watch and listen to someone recount his encounters with famous celebrities as broadcast originally on free British television, and rebroadcast on free Australian television.

Not like any of the actual celebrities are actually going to be there.

You are paying to just see and hear Michael Parkinson talk about meeting these people and watch clips of him interviewing them.

Shockingly enough, more shows have been added. Tsk, tsk.

Hopefully The Chaser will tackle this absurdity before it disappears into oblivion.

From the "Kiwis are Kinky (but safe)" Department

Ah New Zealand in winter...you're so aroused that you just up and steal a condom machine.

I guess li'l Logan Campbell's Buy-A-Bonk is popular.

I may read as being oddly mean towards New Zealand, but compared to the image that Police Ten 7 puts out, I'm practically a tourism ambassador.

Where NOT to put your money

Jerry Seinfeld. Regional Building Society. (Courtesy of TV Tonight.)

If they've got that much money to sling around, then I think it's time to take a look at the books.

I think anyone who's been around since the 1980s (not to mention all the recent banking implosions) would raise an eyebrow.

From the "Kiwis are Kinky and Krafty" Department

It's been some time since there's been a funny story about Cloudcuckooland (also known as New Zealand) over here, and here's a rather interesting and slightly sordid one:

It seems that in order to generate the funds for his London 2012 campaign, NZ Taekwondo athlete Logan Campbell is opening up a brothel according to a report by AFP via the ABC.

His rationale? He's tired of asking his parents for money.

You can see a picture of Campbell & his business partner at their club at ninemsn.

TVNZ, however, is oddly quiet.

Sea Patrol: The Movie coming soon?

Also in the Sydney Morning Herald is an announcement of something that probably everyone figured was going to come: Baywatch is going to become a big screen comedy.

Intentional comedy, one must add.

Good (and blazingly obvious) idea, but one must wonder about the scriptwriter if he's using Police Academy as his template.

Fragmentation: So What?

Apparently the boss of the ABC-TV has been lunching heavily with the head of Nine, because he's now joining the cautious whining about audience fragmentation, according to an article in the Sydney Morning Herald.

Unsurprisingly, the head of Austar & Foxtel's sales unit (the partially government owned providers of cable and satellite television) is gloating.

What I find interesting and a bit depressing amongst all the moaning is that no one is talking about improving the quality of their programming.

It seems that the heads don't seem to remember that a good show (as subjective as the word "good" is) will draw from all audiences.

Ferguson: It's about Seven's Ego

Uncle Rupert's papers shed more light on the reason why Mark Ferguson is leaving Nine for Seven:

Ian Ross is retiring, and Ferguson wants the Sydney bulletin back.

Makes total sense.

Or is it really just money?

I think it has more to do with Seven eager to get one over on Nine.

Meanwhile, This Afternoon changes executive producers, according to TV Tonight uh oh.

The Hilarity of Sea Patrol

US viewers may have to resort to YouTube for clips, but I have truly come to enjoy the campiness that is Sea Patrol.

Imagine if NCIS was invited over to Baywatch Nights' place for cocktails, found a mickey (or a Kerry, given that it does air on Nine) in its drink and woke up the next night to do the walk of shame down to Australia.

The resulting offspring would be Sea Patrol, at least in its current incarnation.

The previous three episodes that I have seen so far have involved:

• Deranged eco-terrorists with satellite phones and explosives.
• A radioactive seemingly uninhabited island with and a film crew hellbent on filming it (with an unnecessary subplot shoved in about a woman looking for the place where her grandfather's RAAF plane crashed back in 1940s)*.
• A ship practically deserted save for the psychotic killer who escaped from the sanitarium and proceeded to slaughter most of the crew (and the pretty boy actor who magically appeared to join the Hammersley at the beginning of the episode, if only to have an extended homoerotic mock fighting scene).

* Yet did we learn anything about the non-English speaking man who was trapped on that radioactive island for a long enough time to booby trap it? No. This isn't sodding Lost or even Doctor Who wrap up your plotlines!

Not to mention the fact that the show features characters called "Buffer" and "Bomber," as well as "RO" and "XO," and expects us to keep track of who is who. (Gender differences don't help as the cast is rife full of interchangable brunettes, save for 2 blondes...of which Lisa McCune is one, the actor playing the mysteriously nick-named "2 Dads" is the other.)

Given the current scandal that the Australian Navy is going through, a weekly Scooby Doo at Sea is probably welcome at this time. (According to the producers they have skilled naval advisors working with them, although Law & Order: SVU has advisors and they've been in self-parody mode for ages.)

Perhaps going for a point/counterpoint type of schedule, Nine has also been airing Underbelly Uncut (their name for the first season of Underbelly with extra sex, violence, and swearing) the same night, an hour after Sea Patrol wraps up. Some would say that it would be a case of putting your best attackers out together, I would say it's a case of hoping that the overpaid star would learn something from the hard-working rookie.**

** For an extra point/counterpoint feel to the night, I watched Lisa McClune (XO on Sea Patrol) and Damien Walshe-Howling (Benji Veniaman on Underbelly) on Blue Heelers, Seven's country cop show now in reruns on the Hallmark Channel (Hallmark has more bite here...seriously, it does, even if it is owned by NBC Universal). Tonight's double bill of episodes dealt with a drug ring, and proved that McCune is better than the scripts which she is presently given, and that Walshe-Howling is better than the scripts which he used to be given.

Nine's Head Writes A Check...

...that his you-know-what might not be able to cash.

I'm beginning to like Nine, the culture over there is very reminescent of NBC but cocky instead of oblivious.

Their most recent promise: their new youth channel will get double the amount of viewers of ONE (which is anything but first) by the end of the year.

Now this might seem like an easy feat, but if ONE is far from a success in the almost bulletproof sports format, how does Nine plan to get any angle on the very fickle youth market?

A mix of CW staples, reruns from HBO's most recent golden age (understand this is a country where swear words, nudity, and images of serious drug use air on free-to-air, so there's not much to be shocking with), and a jargon-filled excuse about fragmentation and how we'll have to read ratings differently because shows "will be monetised four different times."

My interpretation: He's praying for industry amnesia by year's end.

Boom! I Got Your Man

Nothing like a little dissatisfied newsreader/corporate rivalry to liven up the weekend, don't you think?*

Uncle Rupert's papers are reporting that Mark Ferguson is leaving Nine for Seven. (Star Trek fans: I have yet to come across any Seven of Nine jokes, you'd think the puns would be flowing.)

Ferguson's defection is rather interesting since he formed the basis of Nine's new afternoon news magazine (although I'd classify it as early evening despite the name) This Afternoon.

Ferguson always looked uncomfortable on the show, and now we have an idea as to why.

* Given today's date (at time of writing) it is rather appropriate. Fire up the Damages marathon.

Shut Up, Abbott

I'm a smoker.

I am open about it and don't shy away from admitting it.

I also became a smoker when I was of legal age.

As crazy as it may seem, I figured that like driving, drinking, and consensual sex, the government made smoking legal for those 18 and over because it is a behaviour that people at that age are generally considered to be smart enough to weigh up the risks against the privilege.

I'm actually in favour of the NSW government's ban on smoking in cars with children in it.

Pretty Boy Tony on the other hand isn't.

He says that it's "Nanny state" legislation and that he is a product of parents smoking in cars.

I find this quote rather telling: "You be the judge... maybe I would have been six foot six and I would have had much greater intelligence, who knows?"

What Tony forgets to mention is that he is a product of a time when we did not know as much about the effects of smoking.

I personally believe that the effects of secondhand smoke are blown out of proportion in respect to adults.

Children on the other hand have developing bodies and shouldn't be exposed to smoke in an enclosed space with only open windows as the sole ventilation. How asinine would it be for the legislation to be filled with exceptions? "You can't smoke in a car with children unless you're in a convertible or have all the windows open, rain or shine." If you're a responsible smoker, then you should be able to hold the craving via Nicorette or the patch. Most smokers are able to handle the urge while flying or while working in most workplaces.

To put it bluntly, revenue grab or not: Shut Up, Abbott.

I'm Baaaack

And it's the 1300th post.

It's Winter down here in Sydney, and it's more like a combination of Summer in San Francisco (cloudy, slight cold) and Mid Spring in the Northeast (low-to-mid 60s, low humidity). The picture below was taken only a few days ago near where I'm living in Redfern.

As frequent visitors to this corner of the internet may know, I love Winter. This. Is. Not. Winter.

Well, not my idea of Midwinter.

It does snow in Australia (and even moreso in New Zealand), and the ski resorts seem to be doing well at least in terms of weather. Unfortunately, Sydney is not in the Australian snowbelt (the biggest city that receives snow--and not much of it--is Canberra), so it feels more like an extended Spring to me.

Well, you can't have it all, and frankly, I can deal with having 50-60% of the proverbial all. Doesn't change the fact, that I miss Midwestern/Northeastern Winter.

News-wise, the biggest story (prior to the death of our Lord and Saviour Michael Jackson*) down here has been Ute-gate, wherein the Liberal/National coalition claimed that Kevin Rudd** got some kickback from a Queensland car dealer. The email that started the whole kerfluffle turned out to be fake, and now the nation is left wondering why the Coalition didn't turf out their idiot-in-charge.

* I know he was big worldwide, but the coverage here is ridiculous.

** Who is not the Albino Barack Obama he thinks himself to be, but still better than the alternative. I hold out hope that the Australian Democrats get some sort of revival or the Greens decide to live in the real world.

It is also the first day of the new financial year, which is quite the event apparently. Many shops are shut for stocktaking after a flurry of stocktaking sales which pretty much openly state that they'd rather get rid of it than count it.

The other big story down here is with the NRL (National Rugby League) where a series of players are basically running around glassing their girlfriends, stumbling drunkenly into hotel rooms that are not their own, and well...being thugs. Uncle Rupert [Murdoch]'s Sydney tabloid, The Daily Telegraph ran a headline that said Thugby League.

Last night's 20 to 1 was dedicated to madness and meltdowns, on the list it featured road rage, and stated that 74% of Australian drivers admit to feeling it. The NRL is starting to look like an outlet for those frustrations with modern life. That being said, I think the American professional sports leagues have a lot more shady things go down that never get reported.

Overall, I must say it is not so much a case of going from the Northern to Southern Hemisphere, but from the Western to the Eastern. Yesterday, I was on the phone to New York and started to made a reference to it being Tuesday, forgetting the time difference. The difference in time being such that Monday was barely finished (EDT is 15 hours behind Australian Eastern Standard Time).

Symbolically and literally, this is rendered a great deal of my US media diet nearly obsolete.

Perhaps Tourism Australia (ok, Tourism NZ too) should start using the slogan: Ahead of the Curve.

A technical note, it may be awhile before the video logs get up and running, but I am hoping to resume them on their monthly basis.