Selections from the Eurolaul 2007 Preview

Selections because ETV's site is painfully slow (but nonetheless very aesthetically pleasing) with the loading and I'm not going to sit through all of those songs, especially since I still can't drink for 2 more days.

Apparently, ETV called out all the pretty people (and yes, I'm including Koit Toome in that group, since Gary Barlow did set many hearts affluter in his heyday) to participate in this year's Eurolaul, which might as well have the subtitle of "You'd Better Be Able to Show Up the Finns." Believe you me, the eagerness/desperation is apparent in Eesti.

• Kristjan Kasearu & Paradise Crew - So Much to Say: Generally Estonia has provided Eurosongers with model-esque women and men that well...let's just say that Ruffus, Tanel Padar, and Ivo Liina aren't. This time around we get Kristjan Kasearu--twice--in order to make up for that deficit. And Kristjan is very handsome. (Fun Fact: Paradise Crew are not the former 2XL who danced around in the background to "Everybody" back in Copenhagen, but Soul Militia--ha!--is.) His song is...eh. It's pop/rock that would appeal to the Radio Disney set, well maybe the bit about Whiskey wouldn't. Did I mention that he's very handsome?
• Deva Deva Dance - Supreme Nature: Deva Deva Dance is one of those groups (or is it really just Arne Lauri?) that just keeps popping up in Eurolaul although one has no idea what the appeal is. To my knowledge there is no huge Indian Estonian community nor a Hare Krishna one, but Arne is hellbent on establishing some connection between Estonia and India. In my opinion, this kind of music went out with Enigma and European softcore porn from the mid 90s. I think ETV are thinking of them as a softer, gentler answer to Lordi.
• Koit Toome - Veidi Veel: Koit sounds and looks veidi veidi like Gary Barlow, even more now than he did back in '98 when he was singing about the Children of the Sea over the theme from Baywatch. (Yes, I said it. Even so, I did like "Mere Lapsed" or "Merely Lapsed" as some jokingly called it.) Now he's trying to rock out and from a hearing standpoint it works. From a visual standpoint, Koit looks as awkward as Gary Barlow when a Take That video called for intense choreography. Much like Koit trying to look tough in a bomber jacket, the song also just ends strangely.
• Laura - Sunflowers: Just feel the anonymity, it doesn't get anymore generic than someone called "Laura" singing about "Sunflowers." It's not that "Sunflowers" is a bad song, it's just that it really goes nowhere either musically or lyrically. What can you really say when the only thing that stays in your mind after hearing it is Laura's dress?
• Gerli "P!nk" Padar - Partners in Crime: First off, the song is wayyyyy better than her previous Eurolaul entry, but let's get this out of the way: she looks like Pink so much that I'm starting to wonder if Pink is Estonian. Gerli fortunately still retains her Cerys Matthews/Marianne Faithfull-esque "I-gargle-with-razor-blades-and-rubbing-alcohol" voice. Thank god that she sticks to rock where that is an asset. Despite my catty remarks, I'd like to see her win. Won't happen though.
• Vanilla Ninja - Birds of Peace: Yay! The Lindsay Lohan clones are back (minus one). It's also the return of dark, morbid lyrics that have absolutely no meaning attached to them whatsoever. (If "Cool Vibes" is about a tiger, then "Birds of Peace" is about heroin addiction?) The song isn't as atmospheric as "Cool Vibes," but Eurolaul is either theirs or Ines's to lose.
• Soul Militia - My Place: Pardon me as I laugh myself silly. Tanel & Dave's backing dancers try to go krunk. That's right, Estonian krunk music. When the Kevin Richardson lookalike raps "girl, you're making me horny" I truly did bust out laughing. But the chorus! Oh, the chorus! "Before we go to my place/Why don't you give me a taste/Slide your ass down that pole/Girl I'm about to explode." Basically a love song to a stripper. (By the way the lyric that follows goes "I don't want to sound like a perv/Nevermind, I'm a bit disturbed.") This from the country that gave us Maarja & Ivo's squicky-but-innocent seeming ballad about the sound of a necklace, and Ines's ode to being 17. Well, Estonia is clearly past the first flushes of puberty now. That said, there is no way in hell this will win.
• Ines - In Good and Bad: Ines must certainly want her privacy, since apparently she lives in New York these days. (She must be a downtowner, although I'd gladly have her as neighbour over the entitled SaTC crowd in my building.) That aside, last year Ines got shafted big time. The Euro-fans like her, and although personally I'm indifferent to "Once in a lifetime," I've liked everything else she's sung in Eurolaul. The song is again Radio Disney-esque pop/rock with a veneer of Bohemian chic, but strangely enough, Ines makes it work. Like I said, it's hers to lose.

Vanilla Ninja or Ines, with Gerli as close outsider, and Kristjan a bit further out (the man has two chances to win, so you can't discount him). I'll be shocked, but not necessarily dismayed, if Koit Toome pulls a surprise victory. If Soul Militia wins, I'll just pass out from shock.