Is La Perry Scared of doing a pure comedy?

Don't think for a second that I've lost my marbles and actually given my money to support La Perry, but I wanted to call attention to Alonso Duralde's review of Madea Goes to Jail.

Why?

Duralde calls attention to a major problem lurking in Perry-land, particularly if he wants to keep his ivory tower in good condition.

He needs to start delivering on his hype.

From the review:

Audiences expecting a comedic extravaganza built around the smack-talking, larger-than-life Madea (played by Perry in drag) will be disappointed to discover that her incarceration is very much a secondary plot here...

Therein lies the major structural problem with a lot of Perry's work. He does a lot of bait and switch, you think you're getting a comedy, but you're really getting a weak, sermonising drama. That was not so much a problem in his earlier work, but the time is coming when the audiences will not be content to be conned.

[Perry] knows how to push [his core audience's] buttons and get tears and laughter — and there is some laughter to be had — when he wants to. It’s just disappointing that the most successful African-American filmmaker of this generation refuses to try any harder than that.

God help me, but if I can pass on any advice--not that he'd pay attention to anyone else but himself--it would be make a goddamn comedy, Tyler. By comedy, I mean an absolutely sermon-free comedy. You've got the money to go out on a limb, so do it.

ESC 2009: Moldova & Romania

First off, Moldova sends a song that is not only in Moldovan, but also liberally name-checks it every ten seconds. Nelly Ciobanu (with liberal help from a bunch of frenetic dancers) performs Hora din Moldova.


Just a little off to East from Moldova is Romania, which returns to their pop formula (although it was dance pop that actually did them favours not sugary pop) after last year's May-December dirge. Performing The Balkan Girls is Elena Gheorghe, and I have to now put on my lyric-sensitive cap. Admittedly, this song is not deep by any stretch of the imagination, but the verses and the chorus do not mesh well...unless Elena (taking fashion cues from the mid 1980s) is trying to make a statement about how a party lifestyle is ultimately unfulfilling.

The Emirate of Cards

Abu Dhabi bails out Dubai, so says Bloomberg.

I always thought Dubai's development defied long-term sense, and apparently others thought so as well.

There's Nostalgia and Then There's Just Laziness

Apparently over at the CW they'd like to turn the clock back to the 90s (a time when the CW itself wasn't even in existance--read into that what you will). The latest effort at nostalgia (according to TV Tonight) is a revival of Melrose Place, which is now greenlit for a pilot.

What next? The Heights?Party of Five? There's a slew of old Fox shows to cannibalise.

This just seems extremely lazy to me, but if we're going to have a 90s revival, then may I advocate bringing back house music like Black Box (and skipping the majority of grunge)?

ESC 2009: Bulgaria, Germany, Hungary, Norway, and the UK

Quite an odd quintet here. First off, there is the Bulgarian entry Illusion performed by Krassimir Avramov. Whatever prejudices or preconceptions one might have a Bulgarian entry are surely going to be met with this one. Krazy Krassy is a male soprano and shrieks his way through a song while the backing singers sing in some of the most heavily accented English this side of the Danube.

All that said, I think this will do well, especially since they throw everything including the kitchen sink onstage.




Germany decided to do an internal selection and the end result was the duo Alex Swings Oscar Sings with the song Miss Kiss Kiss Bang. It's an ambitious effort, but honestly I think Roger Cicero was the better version of German swing. This is just kind of daft, especially with a poor homage to Cab Calloway at the end.


And now we have the first new male eye candy (Sakis has been around this block before) of this year's contest. Some background first: This is the 3rd song selected by Hungary to go to Moscow. The first choice was found out to be a copy of a song originally performed by the Swedish Big Brother contestants, the second choice performer was too busy for Eurovision duty, and now the honour falls upon Adok Zoli with Dance with me. Personally, I hope this one sticks because well: a) He's good looking, and b) the song is pretty good (even though it will need some serious cutting).



It's a folk year in Norway (for some reason Norway always seems to follow a pop song entry with a folk entry the year after), and instead of elves, we have elfin young men playing fiddle with dancers doing Russian cossack inspired dancing. The song is entitled Fairytale and the performer (and composer) is Alexander Rybak. Despite his somewhat cutesy singing, Rybak is no fool. He made sure he has the rights to the song and now stands to get quite a windfall with the song topping the Norwegian charts. Even though I find the song (and Rybak's performance) too cute, it should hold its own in Moscow.



With much fanfare the UK selected Andrew Lloyd Webber (with Diane Warren's help) to compose this year's entry It's My Time. The search for a singer occupied much of January with Jade winning the lot at the end. It's overwrought and bombastic (what a surprise), but Jade and her pageant hair do a decent job with it. I think it'll be a dark horse for a high placing. Win? I don't think so.

Dick Wolf's Insurance Plan

Call me even more stunned: Law & Order has gone overseas to the UK.

I'm not talking re-airing US episodes, I'm talking full on local production.

It's a safe bet that UK Law & Order will air on Bravo before the end of the year.

Does Anyone Care About Mel Gibson Anymore?

In what has to be one of the most shameless attempts at relevance, Mel Gibson apparently regrets not helping Heath Ledger.

He also claims that he helped Britney Spears get through her "rough patch."

Someone needs to help Mel with his sense of delusion.

Stunned

You know, I spend a weekend watching Australian TV, and the last thing I expect to see when I reconnect to the world around me is serious talk of nationalising the banks.

Given my own stance on nationalising, I am pretty much in favour of it, but I'm also just...stunned.

Stunned, because it is surprising on just how fragile our own economic security has been.

Stunned, because it is just amazing that we as a country have survived on what looks like fumes instead of fuel.

I freely admit that I am not in any way, shape, or form an economic whiz, but it has seemed apparent to me that the government's role is to ensure the security (economic, social, and political) of its citizens to go on and live their lives.

I also view this from an "entertainment" perspective: This economic meltdown (as many are describing it) is going to manifest itself in terms of what gets green-lighted and what comes out of seemingly nowhere to become a hit.

NBC, for example, sees ER end its run this Spring, and with the bizarre Jay Leno @ 10/9 pm choice has thrown the successful Law & Order shows into possible cancellation before their own time. (Not that this is much of a surprise, since NBC programming executives have had no real strategy for their main brand since the mid-nineties.)

CBS has imported a Canadian drama and is getting relatively good ratings for it (even if it got the axe in Australia).

Ultimately, what I believe is going to happen is that we--as an audience and media consumers--are going to see a trend of co-productions and imports. We are also going to see programs that are not so much "whiz! bang! pow!," but focused strongly on developing story and character.

Not that the procedural is dead. It'll just have to be interesting and gripping for less.

The real genre to watch will actually be the sitcom*. I don't think that we've seen the show that will revive it to its former heights, but I believe within the next two years, we will be seeing a rush on sitcom productions.

*Some might argue reality TV will flourish in this market, but I have to wonder this: "Would I really want to see some failed actor from the Valley win a big bucket of money when I'm trying to just keep a roof over my head? I don't think so."

ESC 2009: Catching Up

I'm not going to even try to catch with Melodifestivalen, but there have been some rather interesting developments in Eurosong-land.

First, Georgia (as in the country that was overrun by Russian tanks last year, not the American state of a million peachtrees, Delta, and La Perry) chooses a song that--I hope intentionally--uses fragmented English to make a political statement against Putin. (Made even more ironic given the rash of Russian entries for whom English grammar is a not real concept thing.)

And it's a funky Sly Stone political statement to boot.

That they are taking to Moscow.

How's that for guts? I think I have my favourite for this year.



Meanwhile, France sends Patricia Kaas--think Marlene Dietrich (well, she is part-German). The song is a return to the traditional deep French ballad with a strong jazz twist, and it's not bad, but I kind of miss the multilingual agitprop of the previous two French entries.



Meanwhile the Dutch pick a catchy song for De Toppers, although it sounds to me like a cross between something from Simply Red's back catalogue and a boyband castoff.



And sex-on-legs from 2004 & 2006 co-host Sakis Rouvas will be singing this ditty in Moscow, but if he doesn't bare anything more than his sternum, Athens 2010 isn't going to happen. (Believe didn't win because it was that good of a song.) I will cut Saz some slack for his national final performance since he was ill and lip-syncing, but usch...This isn't a triumphant return.

Back from Oblivion

Don Johnson is suing the makers of Nash Bridges for withholding profits from him, according to Reuters.

Several things:

• Don Johnson is still relevant?
• I know Nash Bridges seemed to run for ages (5 years?!), but $300 million in revenue?
• In a Don Johnson versus Mark Cuban battle, I shockingly think Don Johnson comes out better.
• Cheech Marin comes off better than both of them by not even joining in the fracas.
  

Wednesday Jukebox is Pretty in Pink

Let's take a breather from things antipodean and go back Stateside. In this particular case, Ariel Aparicio's cover of Pretty in Pink (yes, that Pretty in Pink as in the theme song from the Molly Ringwald, Jon Cryer, and Andrew McCarthy film...feel old, I do.)

Ariel, you might know from his brilliant song Life and Times a few months ago. (Get it!!!) His version of Pretty in Pink is better than the original in my view, and even Richard Butler (lead singer of the Psychedelic Furs) gave it a rave, saying "Well done!"

The song starts out with the vocal being hidden by the violin, but for me that works, even though I can't put my finger as to why.

The video (directed by Chris Cassidy) is quite killer. Not to get all analytical, but the choice to make the video all Ariel emoting underlines what I feel is the slightly deranged nature of the song. The song is a bit of a psychosis when you think about it. Or is it just me?

Perhaps I should just get on with it and go to the video.



Pretty in Pink is available on iTunes, and you can stream the whole EP on Ariel's Myspace.

A Tale of Two Dramas

I'm back Stateside with several DVD box sets in tow, namely Underbelly and Canal Road.

Underbelly (which is now in its 2nd season) could best be summed up as a somewhat Australian spin on The Sopranos, and it has Sopranos level hype and ratings attached to it. Canal Road on the other hand limped through its first, and was subsequently cancelled.

Although I didn't see much of a commonality between the two (I figure that airing on the same network would pretty much guarantee a high amount of difference), TV Tonight did see some, and I agree for the most part.

Now, let me first state that I enjoy/ed both of these shows immensely, and for different reasons.

Underbelly--in my view--is interesting in spite of the sex and violence, because the sex and violence is a key part of that world. Granted the occasional scene went on for a bit too long, but let's be honest here: gangsters don't have a long life span, so it makes sense for them to live to the extreme. It doesn't distract from the plot wherein the viewer is wondering just when or who is going to buy the farm in a given episode. Even though it's based on real events, the show does a great job at creating suspense with impressive scripts that give an insight into the interior mind of the characters.

Canal Road, on the other hand, creates suspense by using cagey dialogue and editing tricks while still having a good solid foundation in terms of character development. It feels like it is almost ripe, but still not ready, which is why I agree with the TV Tonight article. The cast is good, the plots are good, but the execution ultimately fails both of them, because the show doesn't know what it wants to be (or rather: didn't know what it wanted to become), and A$10 million is a lot to invest in soul-searching.

Who is to blame?

It's hard to say. Television is always a gamble, but the questions that all creators must ask themselves are these: "Is this an authentic moment?" "Is this an authentic character?" The fact remains that audiences will figure out when they're getting titillation without reason.

The Flying Roo Gets Desperate

Hands up if you think Qantas is going to wind up renationalised.

Is that about 30 million hands I see?

Make that 30,000,001 as I definitely think so, based on my own experiences* and this article (and the comments).

* Not allowing a passenger to pay for an upgrade--due to lack of ticket purchasing facilities at the gate doesn't bode well for the airline to survive in its current form.

It's just a matter of time, pets.

Fearless Leader: Trisha Goddard

I have been spending my down time here in Australia reading the biography of talk show host Trisha Goddard, who I really only knew as the black woman who took over Vanessa Feltz's talk show in the UK during my college years.

Well, consider me newly schooled. 

Apart from the fact that she became the first black presenter on Australian television, her life was quite remarkable before she even got in front of the camera: including a stint as a wife of a closeted right-wing politician, flight attendant, and survivor of domestic abuse as well as an air crash. 

Her autobiography, called As I Am (which does not delve into her recent battle with breast cancer) is most likely not to be found at US outlets, but if you can scrounge up a copy, it is certainly worth it, as Goddard is very candid, frank, and avoids new age speak.

"Thursday" Jukebox Goes Down Under

I cannot tell you how refreshing the music scene is over here, compared to the US. (And 2 of the networks devote their overnight programming to airing nothing but music videos!)

For starters, indie dance music is really doing well on the charts. Here are two really prime examples.

Sneaky Sound System are a trio that I find really blends the funkier aspects of House along with a strong dash of rock, and have just released their second album, appropriately entitled 2. This is their latest video and single 16.

Believe you me, if I could get a chance to see them in concert while I was here, I would...and I am not a big concert person.

The other act I think is worth highlighting is Empire of the Sun. I have no problem in admitting that I am no fan of the Polyphonic Spree and their neo-hippie sun, light, and peace pap, but Empire of the Sun manage to stay in the same vein and amazingly don't come across as smug Hare Krishnas busking for dollars. This is their latest single We Are The People.

Unnatural Media Disaster

Yes, I'm in Australia.

And although this post may look like it was done on Thursday morning, it's actually nearly midnight here. 

First off, I have to say that either American news networks have much to answer for in terms of mawkish coverage or the Australian news operations have just been really bored for a long time because there is virtually wall-to-wall Hurricane Katrina-meets-September 11th coverage here. 

Coverage that is low on information and astoundingly high on exploitation. (Although to be a touch fair, one of the presenters on Sunrise, did actually admit on air that they were getting exploitative--Would Matt Lauer do that? I think not.) Exploitation with no real merit, except to make people feel guilt--even the Queenslanders who have been flooded for quite some time are expressing guilt. It's battle of the natural disasters!

Listen, I'm not going to be completely cold and deny the news-worthiness of the event, particularly in a country where nature can be deadly and quick to strike, but where are the minds of the news directors? We are bombarded with figures of how much the Bushfire Appeal Fund is racking up (certainly bound to go up higher after Nine's umpteen hour telethon has finished), but very little on how to contact people missing or even a reminder on common sense such as "the house is not worth dying for." 

No, we have an endless loop of some sodding koala getting fed water and presenters and reporters reaching into the nearest thesaurus to find new ways to say "devastated." Is this really news or the latest season of Big Brother on a massive scale?

On the positive side of things, the news coverage is beginning ever so slowly to delve into the practical side of things, like banks that were charging mortgage fees to fire victims and how the government has been dragging its feet in implementing a fire warning system. More importantly, it is very refreshing to see a nation where the majority of the populace is not losing it in front of the cameras in the face of tragedy. (This has the added bonus of making the news operations look even more like sharks, because the locals just won't cry, and further illustrates how bad the coverage is.)

I can only hope that whatever media watchdogs that are in place will take the private networks to task on this. (The ABC has been rather smarter than its commercial mates.)

Tuesday Jukebox Ponders Ema

As in the Slovene selection for Eurovision (note the spelling of Ema, which is just three random letters thrown together and isn't an acronym).

For me, Ema is all about 3 women, who define the quality of Ema and whose fortunes and failures at Ema have caused it to be pratically revamped every single year.

The first one has to be Karmen Stavec. Karmen pretty much sang her very tall butt off in EMA 2001 only to be beat out by the manic force that is little Nusa Derenda (who we will come to next). That was understandable. What wasn't is how her disco number Se in Se managed to come in 2nd behind the politically advantageous but rather absymal Samo Ljubezen performed by drag act Sestre, only because Sestre won the jury vote and Karmen won the televote (the televote and the "expert" jury vote are given equal weighting). Karmen supposedly stormed out the studios in anger and tears and let's just say that Sestre was not given a warm winner's welcome to the stage by the audience. Nonetheless, here is a comparison between the two "winners." Samo Ljubezen is first.




And here is Karmen performing Se in Se. In my opinion, she pretty much owns the song and stage, and even her amusing "white girl getting down" dance moves near the end work for her. Taking all the farcical voting and glitches into account, I don't blame her for having a full on shit fit, even if it escalated into a homophobic riot and parlamentary discussion.




Which is why Karmen's participation in Ema 2003 was so strange. Yes, Slovenia probably doesn't that many outlets where local musicians can get a proper international debut, but watch this clip from the Ema 2003 postcards between each performance. Karmen's postcard featured her taking out a would be mugger while singing Samo Ljubezen, deliciously giving the refrain a menacing sarcasm to it.





Granted Sestre also took jabs at Karmen both in 2002 & 2003, but Karmen's 2003 win at Ema did have a whiff of sympathy vote for her rather than her song.

This brings us to Ema 2003 aka the super diva Ema because it had not only Karmen Stavec (who was riding a wave of sympathy after the 2002 fracas), but also the aforementioned "manic force" Nuša Derenda who is still well-regarded for being the performer who got Slovenia one of its best placing ever, and just consistently being the right person at the right time with the right talents, plus the Ema debut of Alya and Slovenian jazz & soulstress Alenka Godec (who was at the very first Ema back in 1993).

Suffice to say, it was a year that Ema was going to be high on camp theatrics as evidenced by Pika Bozic's sixth placed entry which features Pika basically acting pissed off while stripping in front of the audience.
Pika Bozic - Ne bom cakala te (EMA 2003)





Meanwhile Alya's own debut performance was the weirdest thing I've ever seen at Ema, but since it seems to be locked away in a vault somewhere, may I present her 3rd placing at this year's Ema with the out-matched Rudi?

Not outmatched by a long set comes Derenda versus Stavec: Ema 03 style.



And here is Karmen's song which still sounds like it is basically Superstar as doo-wop.


Personally, I think they are both thinking the original lyrics to this very song.


Which brings us to one major question.

Why did such a no-name hacky stunt win Ema 2009?

Tuesday Jukebox Thinks That's It!

It was a particularly taxing weekend for me, and apparently in Eurosongland as well. I'm going to try to address all of these in one post, but I am only one man. So I am going to try to hit at what was one of several Super Weekends in National Final Land bit by interesting bit.

This post's bits? Denmark and the most bizarre but still quite logical forms of voting ever.

Now, we all know that crap Ronan Keating Trainy Mess won, but as is often the case with Denmark the more interesting entries came from entries that placed 2nd and beyond.

2nd being Someday by Hera Björk, which really was Iceland meets Sweden in Denmark.



The favourite of this corner of the internet "Det 'det" came in that funny 3rd or 4th place that was the 2nd round of voting.

Now vocally I understand the placing. These girls/women are all over the place during the latter parts of the song. They get close to keeping the energy of the studio version, but then go into pageant show mode and seems kind of dead.

Plus there's the whole thing of the trio looking like Hillary Duff, Amy Winehouse, and Baby Spice. Still it's a kicker of an opening thanks to very well timed edits.

Friday Jukebox Goes Urata & Miura

Little Daichi Miura has a new video out wherein he goes all soulful for the laydeez with minor success.




A touch more successful (at least to my ears) is the debut video from the solo effort by AAA's Naoya Urata (although he styles himself as URATA NAOYA), who takes the Justin Timberlake emulation to an even higher level than ickle Daichi.



Bonus: From the "It's A Shame She Chose That Stage Name" Department comes Jessica H.O. Yes, that is her performing name, and she is pretty damn impressive.

I'm GLAAD He's Gone

Giuliano has resigned from GLAAD, perhaps now it'll manage gain a shred of the relevance it used to have.

The Flying Roo Thinks We're Superhuman

Which must be the only reason why they think that anyone would want to go to Sydney from Los Angeles for a 4 day break with a 14 hour flight each way.

Now, I admit that Milwaukee to New York and v.v. has knocked me back a few times, but I can understand 4 day breaks to Europe (from the Midwest & East Coast), Hawaii, the Caribbean, Mexico, or even Panama, but Australia is pushing it.

We know tourism is down in Australia, but this is just living in another plane of logic (pun partly intended).

Meanwhile in New Zealand (Part 3)

The whole world has seen those two prisoners bump into that pole (which was easily avoidable), but is there any coverage of it on TVNZ's website? No.

TV3? No.

But apparently the Kiwis have had a rash of prison breaks.

Thursday Jukebox Remembers Good Comedy Entries...

...in Eurovision, naturally.

Before the days of Verka Seduchka, Dustin the Turkey, Rodolfo, Silvia Night, and LT United, there were indeed comedy entries at Eurovision, and some of them even won.

Example #1: France Gall insults herself musically in 1965.

Note the lyrics written by Serge Gainsbourg.

Example #2: It may not have been lyrically a comedy entry, but it certainly was one visually and intentionally so.



Example #3: I'd say Mouth & MacNeal (3rd place in 1974) were a comedy entry in the same vein.




Example #4: The UK's oddly-prescient entry from 1977 that took 2nd place to Marie Myriam's ode to birds.




Example #5: Back in 1998, Guildo Horn tells us that he loves us...whether we like it or not.



Example #6: Stefan Raab speaks gibberish and gets 5th.




Example #7: Here's one that's on the fence, but I think Sandra & Andres were going for jokes back in 1972, and scored an impressive 4th placing.



Bonus: Here's a red herring. Paul Oscar's 1997 entry was not a comedy entry, but just one for shock value, possibly meant to illustrate the world-weariness in the lyrics. Sheila E.'s The Glamourous Life was in the same vein.

Wednesday Jukebox Ponders Ukraine 2009

According to ESCtoday, the duo NikitA will be amongst the 31 semi-finalists battling out to represent Ukraine this year.

This is one of their songs Mashina, which if this is any indication of their style, might go down well.

Jeremy Piven Needs PR Help...Stat

Now granted this is the New York Post, which bathes in the bombastic, but I can't help but think that Jeremy Piven's Mea Culpa Tour (and I'm not talking about that "aren't I more spiritual than thou?" India travel show he did) better start soon, because he has pissed one too many people off.

From "Awww" Department

I'm not one to remark on cute animal stories, but this story about Gay penguins in Harbin becoming fathers and having a wedding ceremony elicited an "Awww" from me.

You Are What You Is

Apparently a clip from the new season (I'll still use the US term as opposed to series) of the Australian crime drama Underbelly has got tongues wagging from the liberal usage of sex and violence.

Well, I've seen Underbelly and that is what it's about (at least in its first season). It's not quite jiggle & gore television, but without a doubt no episode went by without somebody getting killed--often post-coital.

So quite frankly even if Nine wants to appear above the fray, they still had their cake and ate it grinning like a Cheshire cat.

The Flying Roo Can't Catch A Break

I used to take some minor glee in all these Qantas woes, but now I'm beginning to think they must've really contracted some nasty karma.

Think about it: You've got the latest and biggest aircraft in existence. Your slogan is "the world's most experienced airline." You're managing to keep the proverbial faith in the face of several very public problems.

And then--on one of your most prestigious routes and on a holiday--you have to ground the plane with a journalist from one of Australia's most-read newspapers aboard.

Ouch.

Tuesday Jukebox Says You Are What You Is

And in this case, MEG (she of the dancing pissed off cat tea party video last year) pretty much calls it in her new song FREAK.

The video is...oddly sane for her.

New [PV] MEG - FREAK (japan)
Uploaded by waqwa

Worth Setting The DVR for

Next month's In The Life will be a big one. For starters it's Black History Month and given the recent events in the past year, it's important to remember that the gay community encompasses people of many colours.

The big feature covers the modern Ballroom scene first depicted in Paris Is Burning, but what I think is truly worth catching is the feature with Governor Patterson & gay activist George Chauncey.

Do try to catch it, because February 1 is less than a week away.

The State of Our Television Screens (East Coast Style)

Joining in the chorus of calling out television executives and producers on their lunacy/indifference is The New York Daily News which today has these two articles by David Hinkley, the first one slyly jabs the broadcast networks at partly dropping the traditional season scheduling, the other hits hard at the cable networks for creating those inequally bifurcated runs (Like the current resumed run of The Closer).

We're Not Living In A Digital World Yet

The Senate opts to push the big nonsensical (cable and television company welfare) digital changeover back until June 12th as opposed to next month.

The downside being that those ads will be with us for another 6 months, but to be honest, I never could figure out why they were so hellbent on 2009 in the first place.

The State of Our Television Screens

Also in Variety are two very smart articles that quite smartly and directly sum up one major issue: The Execs and Producers have lost their way.

Preach and Preach On.

Just. Say. No....Again

According to Variety there is going to be a US version of Absolutely Fabulous (yet again).

And it's going to be set in Los Angeles.

But this time it won't be called Cybill,* or High Society, and one would suspect it won't yield a subsequent Chuck Lorre (the creator of Two and a Half Men fame)** sitcom with characters partly inspired by his experiences working on said show.



This is the not necessarily bad, not clever, and not widely remembered High Society.



* Which really was a rip-off of Absolutely Fabulous, if you look at it in the cold, harsh light of day.

** Let it be known that I really honestly truly like Chuck Lorre, Two and a Half Men, and Cybill.

Meanwhile in New Zealand

...it's shootings, stabbings, and ships.

Sort of like Milwaukee, when you think about it.

It's Australia Day...or not?

Given that this might very well be my new country for a long period of time, the question of whether Australia Day should still be on January 26th is an intriguing one.

I can understand why Rudd isn't keen to really step into this quagmire.

For the lighter side of things Australian, take a gander at the BBC's Nick Bryant's chronicle of Australian tourism campaigns gone awry.

Happy (Chinese) New Year

This year is the year of the Ox.

According to Wikipedia, Ox countries include Switzerland, Finland, and Ukraine.

Since this corner of the internet is Eurosong-centric at this time of year, I would say that these countries might find some success on the scoreboard in this year's contest. However, last year was a Rat year (in more ways than one) and Rat countries include Germany, Sweden, and the Netherlands. None of whom did all that well in Belgrade.

Then again, has Ukraine managed to not make into the Final over the past 3 contests?

Saturday Jukebox Goes Eurovision 1979 style

Since this corner of the internet is now switching to Eurosong mode, it seems only appropriate for a Eurovision-themed jukebox.

Let's start with a recap of 1979, and I'll pick out 3 that stand out for me.




Now some performances in full. I have to start out with that absolute rarity, a ballad that I actually like, Je Suis L'enfant Soleil, which lyrically is pretty strong, but also greatly aided by the fact that Anne-Marie David sings it with gusto.



On the total opposite end of the spectrum is the Dutch ode to of all places, Colorado. (Damn catchy middle section though.)



Seriously, why would the Dutch sing about cheap trips to Colorado? But then, why would the Yugoslavs sing about Brasil? Deep thought of the day.

Completing the trio/quartet today is the Norwegian disco* entry Oliver, performed by Karen Carpenter-lookalike Anita Skorgan.
* Moreso on the studio version than live.

Aer Lingus, Ole'?

Welcome to bizarroland (aka the EU-US Open Skies agreement).

It's the kind of world where the Irish flag carrier can fly between Washington and Madrid, with American staff.

It will be interesting to see how this plays out...next year.

ESC 2009: Montenegro in Good Song Shocker

Montenegro apparently picked its song (or rather revealed it) today and surprisingly, it's good and not some trashy 80s rock throwback.

Trying to give Montenegro a decent shot at making the final this year is Andrea Demirovic with the song Just Get Out of My Life (yes, it's all in English), which is upbeat pop that does sound a bit like the opening to ABBA's Gimme Gimme Gimme in parts.

With strong staging and really attacking the stage (example: Shady Lady last year), Montenegro might very well make it out of the qualifier not just barely but by a country mile.

ESC 2009: The Estonian Review

All the Estonian songs are now online (unlike the Danish ones courtesy of a little intra-Scandinavian controversy...oops, naughty).

I can't quite figure out what Estonia is trying to go for. Sometimes they want to be pop, sometimes they want to be folk, sometimes they just seem to send whoever winks at the camera the best. I guess when you win so soon (this marks 8 years since Everybody won), it's more about participating than winning.

Anyway here's the contenders (courtesy of ETV's website, songs are under "Kuula laule!").

• Lowry, who was part of the unintentionally hilarious Soul Militia 2 years ago, goes solo this year has the very funky You Ain't What I Need, which is quite catchy, if not a bit derivative in the lyrics.
• Janne Saar seems to provide the answer song to Lowry's previous entry with I Am Too Good For You. It's a pleasant midtempo song with heavy Motown influences. The main problem, however, is that Janne does shriek during the chorus.
• This year is very heavy on the Estonian language entries (half of them in fact). The first one is StereoChemistry's Öösiti kõndides which is a hard driving modern rock song. Considering that Finnish rock has done well, it would be great for the Estonians to send a rock song with teeth.
• Urban Symphony goes the symphonic rock/electropop route (think Nightwish) with Rändajad. I like it on the first listen, but a lot would depend on the performance, and this year's Eesti Laul is very heavy on the avantgarde.
• Speaking of avantgarde, Chalice (male singer? band name?) has the very out-there and psychedelic Nelikümmend which is very moog-crazy and really goes nowhere. (Although it is a fun journey in parts.)
• Providing what I would call cute progressive pop (think Polyphonic Spree meets Stereolab) is Estonian electro band Köök and singer Kaire Vilgats and the song (which I'm guessing has a comedic tinge to it) Üürnik. (That's too many damn umlauts and double vowels.) Of the progressive/avantgarde songs so far, it's the best, and I would actually give it a fair shot at placing high if not winning.
• Rolf Junior takes us back to Top 40 land with Fre:dom. It's very catchy with a good bass riff. (It also sounds like a refugee from Melodifestivalen.) Strongest contender so far, but I can't for the life of me figure out what is up with the strange spelling and punctuation of the word "freedom."
• And we're back to Eesti Rock with Traffic's See Päev. It's slower than StereoChemistry's entry, but still manages to have a bit of a nice lo-fi kick behind it. Between the two, I lean more towards StereoChemistry, but I'd certainly change my position if the singer does perform the living daylights out of it, as he certainly sounds like he has a strong connection to the lyrics.
• Ithaka-Maria (one woman, not two) sings the pop/rock One Last Dance which like many songs this year is catchy and current, but unfortunately I don't think just being catchy and current will be enough to do the business this year.
• Laura (whose Sunflowers two years ago was apparently a big obsessive hit amongst some fans) returns this year with Destiny, an electropop song that is not bad, but not outstanding to my ears. The lyrics are rather dire (Vanilla Ninja set the bar really high by singing about heroin), and try to be profound but just make it sound like random English words were put in. That said, she'll probably do very well and has a very strong chance to win the lot.

Verdict: Laura or Rolf Junior for the win, K-Umlauts (Köök & Kaire Vilgats) and Lowry as dark horses.

ESC 2009: The Danish Review

The Danish Songs for MGP 2009 are up now. (You can listen to them on ESCToday).

I've always had a soft spot for Denmark, which generally conjures up happy, poppy memories particularly of their 1980s heyday.

Appropriately, the first entry Sindssyg by Johnny Deluxe sounds like an A-ha revival. The second song I'll Never Fall in Love Again is performed by Trine Jepsen who previously represented Denmark in 1999 along with sex-on-legs Michael Teschl. (Michael was confident, Trine sounded big, but looked like she wanted off that stage pronto.) This time (no pun intended) she is flying solo and sounding like she's been raiding La Ryan's back catalogue by way of Hero (Catwoman's entry last year). Musically, it's very strong, but lyrically it's a repetitive mess.

The very creatively named Sukkerchok brings us Det' det, which reminds me a bit of an electroclash version of Det lige det. Given that Denmark is a major producer of modern dance music, it is surprising that it has taken them this long to get more than one entry in. So far, this is the leader for me. The down side, if this wins and it gets translated to English, I reckon it will not do well. Alas, even in Denmark there are ballads, and this year the very formindably named Marie Carmen Koppel sings the gospel/jazz Crying Out Your Name. It's a grand effort, and it sounds like Marie knows what she's singing, but not a frontrunner for me. I could see it winning MGP and doing well in Moscow though.

Next up is Jimmy Jorgensen doing the Britpop-influenced Alice in the Wonderland (note the article), which like the story goes here, there, and everywhere without making much of a point. Yes, Jimmy, I guess the drugs were good. Jumping back to 1980s nostalgia is Jeppe Breum Larsen with Lucky Boy, which sounds like a less-cringe inducing version of S.A.G.A.P.O. I would truly love to see if he could top Rakintzis in terms of visuals.

Hera Bjork (yes, we are definitely in the Nordics, and she is Icelandic) sings Someday which sounds like somebody remixed a Faith Hill B-side. It's not bad, and I could see it winning the whole lot, but it's extremely sickly sweet in respect to lyrics. Somewhat less MOR is Claus Christensen's Big Bang Baby (which is in Danish +), an electropop song that is a bit cute, and has little chance of winning it, in my opinion.

Christina Undhjem (does her last name mean "(something) home?") brings another ballad this year with Underneath My Skin, which pales in comparison Marie Carmen Koppel's effort. The lyrics make it sound like Christina is just a big whinger with no purpose. Closing the lot out is Brinck who implores us to Believe Again which would not look out of place on a Nickelback, David Cook, or Keith Urban set list. It's not dire, but it is b.l.a.n.d.

My early prediction: Trine or Hera for the win, with Marie Carmen as a dark horse, although I will be very pleasantly surprised to see Sukkerchok get the lot.

Happy Days Are Here Again

Somehow ABC has finally seen the light and cancelled According to Jim, the last of the "fat guy, hot wife" genre of sitcoms...a show that either everybody lied about watching or seemed to exist in some ratings free vacuum that no other show did.

Sadly with good news must come some bad, which is that the Schwartz bookshops in Milwaukee are closing down, as per the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.

The Inaugaration Post

There are many places over this world wide being that will go in depth in terms of coverage and reactions on this very special day. I would rather keep my opinions and remarks brief.

Personally, I didn't think that I'd ever live to see it, and I still feel strange in terms of leaving this nation while it is on the precipice of such a momentous shift from the nation that was a scared and paranoid caterpillar to the birth of this nation as a soaring butterfly, guiding along with others through what will be a new age of understanding.

We can only hope that this spirit remains.

The Annual MLK Post

Normally--as has been the case for the past three years--I take time out to bemoan/harangue the world in how little has changed since Martin Luther King Jr.'s death.

Well, I can hardly do so this year (and yes, it is rather interesting coincidence that Obama's inauguration does follow MLK Jr. Day this year), but without a doubt things have changed.

And yet, many things remain the same.

Our President-elect is viewed by many to seemingly have superhuman powers to eradicate discrimination, poverty, and environmental damage just by being elected.

Whether that has more to do with how he was marketed to the American people or the haze of the past 8 years, but the President is not a dictator nor is he (or she) a messiah.

Here's the real scary thought: Change starts at home. It starts by being brave enough to go the extra mile and start that business or charity or just getting in the habit of reusing shopping bags.

For whatever reason, it has become expected in this nation to search for leaders to do the grunt work of what really is in our own power to make happen, and therein lies an often forgotten part of what King was trying to tell us.

All of us can do amazing things to better our world if we believe ourselves capable of doing so.

If we entrust others to do it for us, then we are bound to be dismayed.

That is why now, more than ever, it is important to not merely "believe," but to actually "do."

It all falls apart

Well, not to delve too much into the personal here at this corner of the internet, but sadly, I have to announce that I am no longer engaged. (Hence the long period in between posts this month.)

It's somewhat of a relief because at least I get to keep on the family tradition of marriage only after 30, but still it is never too easy to be the one to call things off particularly when to do so is helping someone that you love get the necessary treatment they require.

Pleasure Island isn't made for long-term living.

A New Hikaru in 2009

Shockingly this is a personal post (and mostly because the news has become too draining to comment on along with writing), but I've been doing a new exercise regime which quite frankly is kicking my butt in half the time.

Yes, those SEALs, which admittedly does fill me a degree of guilt given DADT. So to balance it out, I've been using Workout Pumping House as my soundtrack (particularly tracks 6 -13 for ultra-House camp).

There is something about being subversive that gives one that extra boost of energy.

Or is that just me?

Monday Jukebox is a Show Girl

Kumi Koda has a new song and video out called Show Girl. Perhaps it's my low brain power in the morning, but I think the video is pretty much a very sanitised version of the infamous film turkey Showgirls with Kumi doing a very PG spin of Nomi. Nonetheless, the song is extremely catchy.



To balance out this jukebox, I think it would only appropriate to accompany Show Girl with a clip from Kylie Minogue's* Showgirl tour.
* The fiancé's favourite nickname for La Minogue: The Singing Budgie



Bonus:Elfin Italian soul singer Tiziano Ferro's tribute to Italy & Spain's favourite "show girl" Raffaela Carra' Raffaela E Mia, which certainly shows that Tizzy loves his camp.

Shark Bites Man: Breaking News

This was seriously breaking news on the ABC: A shark bites a man's leg.

In fact, Australia seems to have gone shark crazy.

Yes, it's summer down there now, but still this is overkill.

Then again, the nation went into mourning when Steve Irwin pissed the wrong ray off.

Don't Mess With the Kiwis and their glaciers

Not to make light out of death, but it is rather interesting to note the difference between the New Zealand & Australian coverage of the recent deaths of two men from Australia on a glacier in New Zealand.

The New Zealand coverage: (subtext: We told you someone was going to die...again. I repeat, someone died and it's not our fault that they didn't read the signs. Tourists! Death! Not our fault!)

The Australian coverage: (subtext: Two Melburnians died.)

There's More To This Story

I don't believe for a second that the porn industry could be hurting.

The industry is set up to make the few owners rich and the workers (at least the ones who aren't savvy and know how to diversify) at or near poverty level.

It's modern day feudalism.

I think Larry Flynt is trying to make a statement here, the only question is on what.

Un Horloge Cassée...

I don't often focus on events in the Metropole, so it's no wonder that I missed this tidbit from this past August.

Now, let me go on the record and say I don't like Sarkozy and I doubt I ever will. I think he's a slightly less offensive version of Berlusconi, and his cult of personality gets France press but actually hurts their international standing.

I also believe that his motivations have less to do with "improving standards and ending the tyranny of ratings" and more with helping his media mogul friends.

That said...

I am of the belief that a public broadcaster should receive its funding from the public (and in modern France, "L'etat c'est moi" has moved from the aristocratic to the "man on the street") not from corporations, especially if it is one as comprehensive as France Televisions which has to represent a country that is pratically spread across the world and whose reputation has suffered by going commercial...at least in my opinion.

I also believe that he's right to make up the shortfall with higher media/communication taxes. It remains to be seen on whether Sarky & Co. will follow through with the Euros needed to support quality programming.

I hope he will, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Tuesday Jukebox welcomes 2009

...with something "new." Well, it's a touch new since the video has been out for several months, but to paraphrase one of the dumbest network campaigns in recent memory (of course it would be a NBC campaign): "it's new to this corner of the internet."

Sergey Lazarev doffs a slightly butcher (because supposedly scruff = butch...at least in modern media semiotics) persona in a collaboration with Russian rapper Timati/y*...that said, the man is wearing a shirt with a rainbow across it (a shout out to Mariah Carey? I thought he was in the Whitney club) and proclaiming he's a "lazerboy for life." One would argue that he's been one since birth with that surname. Either way, this is Lazerboy.

* I'm guessing those pseudonyms are influenced by watching Reservoir Dogs obsessively.



And now for something old, but good: Sheila E's Sex Cymbal. A killer song, but four things stand out for me in the video:

1. Two bare-chested men slow dancing together (kind of forward for 1991 pop)
2. Sheila E holds her own during the dance break.
3. Given the song's title and her fame as a drummer, it's interesting that she doesn't once play the drums in the video.
4. The mise-en-scene makes me think that the theme behind the video was a sly critique of Herb Ritts.

And thus began 2009

Perhaps there is something in the air, but overall, 2009 feels significantly less intense than its predecessor.

Although it is certainly easy to say that when we're only 5 days in.

That said: Macau on shaky ground, Airfares dropping, New York real estate developers struggling in finishing and selling their overpriced developments?

I like this part of the economic downturn.

Let me put on my revolutionary cap for a second.

The fact is that the world was starting to get a little too stratified, people were beginning to isolate themselves from others in a blanket called entitlement. Now virtually everyone from every socio-economic class has started to realise that no one is immune. In other words, it's the chickens coming home to roost.

It may sound rather callous and cold to sing the praises of economic hardship, but it is not the hardship that I am praising it is the fact that the hardship has caused the world to re-evaluate priorities.

Of course not all is perfect in this new world--(Angela Bassett in Notorious, TD Jakes continuing to pollute the black movie industry and ghettoize talented actors)--but give it time.

Happy New Year from Hikaruland

I want to thank everyone who has ever stopped by here whether you lingered or stayed for just a little bit.

And I wish all of you out there a happy, exciting, and pleasing 2009.

Now this is a Corporate Holiday Greeting

Happy Holidays from Air New Zealand...

I don't think you'd see any US airline or corporation for that matter be this saucy in their greetings.

Happy Holidays, Palindrome

The 1,111th post at this corner of the Internet warmly wishes you a pleasant seasonal celebration.

A holiday thought:

The New Delta: Pan Am redux? I don't think so.

The Flying Roo Stole Christmas

Boy, does Qantas have its work cut out for them, at least in terms of public relations.

Today's latest shot to the heart (or pouch, as it were) is a story in the Sydney Morning Herald which discusses how Qantas lost 750 pieces of luggage on several very important routes, including London - Sydney. 

Ouch.