Besame Mucho

The Spanish Parliament voted to approve same-sex marriage, in a vote of 187 -147 (4 abstained).

Meanwhile, LOGO's debut looks like it won't be until 9 PM (EDT) with a documentary on gay & lesbian visibility on television. You can countdown to the debut with a stopwatch on their website. If they don't use "I'm Comin' Out" at zero hour, I will be severely disappointed.

The March of Progress (?)

June 28, 2005: The Canadian Parliament legalises same-sex marriage.

June 30, 2005: The Spanish Parliament votes on whether to override a Senate veto on a bill to make same-sex marriage legal.

June 30, 2005: LOGO premieres on US cable systems. Created by Viacom via its MTV networks subsidiary, the network is the third and perhaps the largest TV network devoted to gay & lesbian programming.

So, Canadians have marriage rights, the Spaniards could very well have marriage rights by the end of the week, and we get a network?

Don't get me wrong. I'm looking forward to LOGO, especially for Noah's Arc, which looks like it'll be Queer as Folk/Sex and the City for gay black men. (Thank you, thank you) However, when put in context with these two milestones, it seems like the US government is behind the times.

Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin (of whom I'm not an avid supporter) said in reference to the same-sex marriage debate that "[the]vote is about the Charter of Rights. We're a nation of minorities and in a nation of minorities you don't cherry-pick rights."

Perhaps we could start an effort to get the US annexed by Canada?

Read This!

My friend Danny started up a blog called The Danny Files and it's pretty insightful. He'll be added to my blogroll once Blogrolling.com decides to start behaving nicely.

Corresponding with Danny has quite opened my mind on what life is like in Israel, extremely necessary for many of us Americans who get our perceptions shaped by the shock-and-awe media and religious zealots, as opposed to hearing and seeing what the actual residents' lives are. Believe or not, Israel is a secular nation!

This is probably apropos of nothing, but I feel that I must add that I find Israeli men rather hot.

Don't Ask Me How...

Of all the bizarre referrals I get to this site, this one has to take the cake:

The files section from Yahoo's Lesbian Lovemaking group.

I admit I'm kind of flattered that the womyn would find me interesting enough to link to me, but I can't think of what sex tips a gay man who has no experience (nor impetus to acquire any) could offer.

I have to say though, in terms of moving along the gay & lesbian movement, I'm sorry queens, but the Lesbians have definitely pulled more than just their own weight. Where's our Ellen?

Joan Cusack goes to Pride

I'd like to introduce a new slang term into American lexicon: Joan Cusack.

Definition: A person who is desexualised and offers support to a more charismatic and more "attractive" person; a "wacky best friend;" a modern-day eunuch. The term originates from the plethora of wacky and quirky roles played by Ms. Cusack in her film career--so far. A "Joan Cusack" does not get the "guy" at the end of the day, indeed, she spends her time trying to make sure someone else's love or sex life is running well.

This new term aptly describes my experience at New York Pride this year, because I was without a doubt Garrett's Joan Cusack, and the funny thing is...I didn't care that I was.

It all started with the parade. Although my very first Pride was only last year, I approached the whole she-bang as if I was some sort of grizzled veteran. I guess, I figured if you've seen it once, you've seen it a thousand times. And yet, the parade was quite stirring. The cheers when Hilary Clinton came past, the boos when Michael Bloomberg came. (Nearby, someone yelled "Give us our rights!") I have to admit, it was moving and part of that was that I was viewing it from Garrett's perspective, which was for the first time.

Defintiely not present last year (at least from my vantage point) was the sign of the year:

To see this sign was like going to a gay bar for the very first time: I realised that I was not alone. I've always felt that there was something extremely wrong with the messages that we are being sent from The Advocate, Out, HX, and the like. Not being a demonstrative person by nature, I made sure to tell the sign holder that I totally agree with his statement. Some marchers in the parade also made a point to tell him that they agreed with him.

On the other side of the sign was "I'm not your interior decorating ho!" Amen.

And then we went to the Pier Dance.

I have to say that I approached the Pier Dance with a lot of trepidation. For starters, although I willingly chucked the Corset from Hell today, I'm still healing and under the same restrictions the doctor gave me. In other words, no dancing and no taking my shirt off until sundown [due to potential mucking up of my scar].

Yet, I would find myself adrift in a sea of shirtless men of all body types: There were huge musclemen the size of a Mack truck, bears, men on steroids with Cripps' bellies, toned muscle twinks, and regular men not afraid to show the world "hey, this is what I look like and I don't care what you think."

And you know what? It didn't matter that I didn't look my best. I felt just as secure.

This is where I really realised that I am a Joan Cusack and Garrett is a Julia Roberts. How come? Well, due to my surgery, I can't have sex--or at least the kind of sex I'd like to have, so I immediately took myself out of contention for snagging a one-night stand. All my gears were switched towards making sure that Garrett had a good time and approached at least one guy who he thought was good looking.*

*Garrett & I are rarely in competition for men. He likes good looking boys, I veer towards the slightly older handsome type. Very interesting that our tastes would be so divurgent even though we share the same birth year.

I guess what I'm trying to say at the end of the day, is that Pride is what you make of it. If you can go home and feel good about being gay, then you realise why this last Sunday in June is so special.

A little self-indulgent fantasy

I like think of myself as basically an urbanite to the core, but to be honest with all of you, that's not always the case.

Sometimes, I think that life as a house husband in a small or medium town would be absolutely perfect. I'd wake up in the morning, fix (or in my case assemble and microwave) breakfast for my husband and child, kiss my husband goodbye, and drive our child to school.

I would do some cleaning around the house, but nothing heavy duty, we'd save that for the weekly cleaning service. (Hey, I'm inept in that department and know my strengths.) The majority of my days would be spent writing, gossiping with the mixed gay and straight neighbours, and watching the occasional soap opera (or two).

Come afternoon, I'd pick up the child and be a doting parent. The husband would come home, and we'd have dinner (either fast food or frozen dinner--Listen, in my fantasy world, I don't slave over a stove) together. Conversations would be peppered with world, national, and local politics, pop culture, and in several languages with swearing limited to Japanese for not-in-front-of-the-child subjects.

Once or twice a week, the husband & I would go out to a few of the local gay bars. Babysitting would be taken care of by the kind neighbours next door, with a tit-for-tat arrangement.

Jeez, I think I want to be some sort of gay male Bree Van de Kamp.

I doubt life will lead me in this direction, but I wouldn't be surprised if this is the life of many gays and lesbians. This makes me just as proud as any of the A-List Manhattan & Beverly Hills supercouples you see in Out. I wish that any gay man or lesbian out there could have this vision or any other sort of dream life they want and not have the need to hide themselves.

The fact that we're still working towards a future where who you love or desire isn't an impediment gives us strength, resolve, and indeed pride in our tenacity. The fact that we've come so far is something to be proud of. The fact that we are who we are is something to be proud of and to celebrate--not just on the last Sunday in June, but every day.

Happy Pride Weekend.

Ya know, some times dem assemblymen make some sense dere

I could care less about some of the other legislation in the Wisconsin State Legislature, but it's nice to see level heads prevail in the face of the anti-smoking hysteria.

An Orange Moon for Pride Week

Summer Solstice celebrated Pride Week by offering us an orange moon (courtesy of pollution) and a nice colour scheme for the Met Life Tower. I'm waiting for the rainbow coloured version on Sunday...at least I hope so.

Dobro!

I wish I was a Slovene. This new law definitely does not go far enough, but it goes farther than most US laws do.

Worth Noting (Pride Edition)

36 years ago today, Judy Garland died, an event that led indirectly or directly to the modern gay movement.

Although to be honest, there were protests in Washington earlier in the 1960's, Harry Hay's Mattachine Society was up and running in 1950, and Magnus Hirschfeld was advocating equality for homosexuals as early as 1821.

Yet, it's the image of drag queens, lesbians, and gay men rioting in 1969 that is etched in the collective gay memory. You have to admit, it's pretty stirring.

So next time you get all irritated and wonder why other guys can't be as "straight-acting" or "masculine/femme" as you are; remember that it was that group that fought hard to get us to the state we are today. Indeed, if it was left up to the "straight-acting" groups, we might still be getting arrested.

The death of celebrity

I was walking past Penn Station this morning and saw the advertisement for the new Fantastic Four film. What I saw were two generic good-looking men--Mr. Fantastic & The Human Torch, The Thing, and a rather slutty looking Invisible Woman. None of the actors' names were on the poster at all, which seems like a slap on the face to Michael Chiklis as The Thing since he's been around the block for quite some time and has several Emmys on his shelf for his work on The Shield and The Commish.

Yet, the studio's marketing department seems to think that these actors aren't worth the general public knowing...well, the majority that doesn't watch entertainment coverage in the media, that is. I think this is a sign of the fact that stardom is waning in the 21st Century. Stardom stems from the belief that people will go to a movie/concert/television show because they are interested in a certain celebrity and that takes precedence over the actual content.

Now, it seems like the content overrules the celebrity. If you look at the posters for War of the Worlds, you'll see Tom Cruise's name billed above the tile, but his image is noticeably absent from the poster itself. Likewise, if you read some of the assorted postings from online message boards, you'll see that there is a sizeable group that will go to the film despite of instead of because of Tom Cruise. Yet, their detractors say that by going to see the film, they are continuing to support the twisted bubble that Cruise is inflicting on the public right now, because this will cause the studios to believe that Cruise is a "bankable star."

I don't think so.

"Bankable stardom" as we knew it has disappeared. I think the studios themselves know it, but there's no system in place to replace it, so they'll continue to use it until a better way comes along. What killed it? The information age. Secrecy is almost nonexistent these days. With the advent of message boards, online gossip, digital cameras, anything can be posted, verified, and broadcast to the world in a matter of minutes. Secrecy is what allowed the mystique of the movie star to continue, and subsequently ensure the profitability of films that without name actors in them, would probably flounder. Secrecy is what allowed Rock Hudson and countless other celebrities to remain in publicly closeted.

Is it a good thing that our idols are now shown warts and all? It remains to be seen. On one hand, it might be good if people began looking to more accessible sources for their role models and such. (Remember the glut of Young Hollywood types advocating "Just Say No" in the 1980's? Think about how many of them were probably doing lines the second the director yelled "cut.")

On the other hand, this tearing down of idols could also portend the death of fantasy. The entertainment business is basically the business of fantasy-making. Creativity is all about making a fantastical idea and/or image reality. Note how the majority of reality TV stars seem to appear and disappear in an instant. The ones who seem to be interested in making their 15 minutes last longer are the subjects of mockery. (Reichen "Burke" Lehmkuhl being a prime example.) The problem is that we know them, and they can offer us nothing beyond that. I think soon the same will apply to the A-list actors as their public facades crumble. They need to ask themselves, is my image the overriding aspect of my career or is my "talent?"

The time is coming for the wheat to be seperated from the chaff.

By the way: None of this applies to Famous Author Rob Byrnes. He is a "stah" and a "stah" he shall remain.

Die Österreichische (Eurovision) Abwesenheit

* The Austrian (Eurovision) Absence (it's via Babel Fish, and my German is at baby level, so who knows if it's correct?).

Well, it's official now. ORF has unpacked their bags and said "Nein" to ESC 2006. They're claiming that the contest has no relevance to the (oh-so-happening) current Austrian music scene and has become a self-parody.

Uh huh.

The papers are claiming that this has more to do with declining audience figures and budget cuts.

Uh huh.

Now, I'm not Austrian and frankly my knowledge of Austria is limited to what I've read, seen in Vienna & Salzburg when I was a kid, and the rare coherent sentence from the governor of California; so, I'm just spitballing here.

First, what does it say about the state of current Austrian music scene if they are represented by an Alpine band singing a song partly in English and partly in Spanish? I understand the need to merge the past with the present, but be serious. As cute as it was, "Y Asi" didn't exactly make me want to run down to the record store and go on an Austrian music binge. In fact, it made me remember that odd ad that use to come on television for a polka compilation album. ("Who stole the keshka? Who stole the keshka?")

Secondly, cash-strapped? ORF has had only one competitor since 2000, according to BBC News Online's Country Profiles. Assuming there's an Austrian TV license or tax out there, things can't be that bad in a country of 8 million plus people. As for ratings, well, Eurovision is far from the top programme on France Television, but they keep on with it.

Lest this post end on a negative note, I'm going to end it with a list of kind things I can say about Austria @ Eurovision:

• Three of my all time favourite Eurovision songs are from Austria: "Musik," "Falter Im Wind," and "Die Welt dreht sich verkehrt."
• "One Step" features the quite camp and funny lyric "Sex with you passes by as fast as spaceship Enterprise." I need to remember that one for future reference.
• While the performance may be as camp as Christmas, you can't deny that "Boom Boom Boomerang" was indeed a good comment on the state of pop music in the 1970's as well as now.
• In 1981, Marty Brem dealt with bizarre choreography, a woman singing backup in football helmet and swimsuit, and still came off as the 2nd sexiest and swarthiest man in that year's contest (next to the non-bearded, non-piano playing male member of Island).
• Admit it, Tony Wegas gave you a wet dream in 1993 with his sweaty self.
• Simone beats Samantha Janus hands down in the contest of perky blonde sings song about peace and humanity while jiggling about.
• Austria still holds the title of highest placed German-language song at Eurovision in the 21st Century. (It also holds the title of the lowest placed German-language song, but not the lowest placed song from a Germanic country. How do you like them apples, Switzerland and Germany?)
• Austrian Eurovision entries have been the spiritual home of black music since 1959, even if the performers looked more like Pat Boone than Harry Belafonte.
• Peter Horton looks hung with his sexy brooding self. Ditto Udo circa 1964. (What room, Udo? What room? Meet me there with your legs in the air.)
• "Sonntag" has the most dirty-minded, yet completely innocent and sweet lyrics you can imagine. Quite revolutionary for 1982.
• The first ever Austrian entry in 1957 can be read as an ode to bestiality.
• And finally, to quote Marianne Mendt in 1971: "Net die Show soll die Musik sein, Wie da Wind, wia a Traum, Soll's die Sprach der Phantasie und Freiheit seiiiiiiiiiiin" ("Not the show is important for music, like a wind, like a dream,it has to be the language of fantasy and freedom.")

(courtesy of Diggiloo.)

As corrupt as they are, sometimes I miss Ozaukee County elections

Democracy for New York (affiliated with Howard Dean's Democracy for America group) has three candidates for their endorsement for Manhattan Borough President:

• Brian Ellner: Attractive, partnered, gay man living in Chelsea; Lawyer, with a previous stint on the District 2 School Board; uses "proud" and pink lettering in his campaign posters.
• Bill Perkins: Black (grew up in Harlem); colon cancer survivor; community activist, councilman ("third highest ranking council member"); described by The Nation as "one of eight 'Progressive City Leaders' for effectiveness in dealing with local and national issues;" not officially on the ballot, but has a website up and running.
• Scott Stringer: Six-term NYS assembly member (Upper West Side & Hell's Kitchen); authored a bill mandating that police officers serve orders of protection to battered women; led fight against the proliferation of LED ads; authored legislation allowing for same-day voter registration; appears to have a slew of endorsements; website doesn't mention much about his personal life, but if he's straight, then isn't it interesting that he got the endorsement of the Gay & Lesbian Independent Democrats instead of Ellner?

So it seems like a choice between Will Truman, Bill Cosby, and Alan Alda. This is quite tough, to be honest. Ellner's gay and pro-Arts, but doesn't seem to have much experience. Perkins looks like he could get stuff done, but isn't officially on the ballot. Stringer looks attractive to my conscience (especially with the anti-LED ad fight), but might not live up to his promise.

I miss just merely marking my ballot for the rare sacrificial lamb up against the Autocrat Republicans up in Port Washington.

(In honour of Pride Week, this week's post will be in Pride colours.)

Pride lyrics...Babel Fish version

I've cleaned this up a bit, but again this is Babel Fish, so who knows if it's far off or not:

From that place where the shining light scatters me...
as for the sorrow which now is recalled...
Raise sound and goes out

It goes, wake up to go the uncertain future
like a feather bending to the approaching wind

It's the power that you don't produce from insecurity plus PRIDE
fly away fly

The destiny which you wander about, the smiling face touching faintly,
this holds the instant courage and the desire which connects hearts through love
where this memory which is felt strongly intertwines, it has started moving

From that place where the light which shines, illuminates
and I raise the startup sound which now is recalled and cuts damage, loneliness and the insecurity which you cannot shake off,
it goes away from existence and raising the nail to the back, which trembles, it has verified

If even praying at night,
when it sinks to the darkness where deep despair attacks I will continue to believe forever. I, holding certain pride to the chest, the sky which the wing expands and probably fly away, it draws strongly...

Raises the sound which meets and cuts from this place
where the light which shines and illuminates me. The sound which now is recalled,
continuing to believe forever...

Crying becomes tired by your praying now you lead, therefore advances to the future which starts moving. The road continues endlessly, if still you desire, safe in the hand vividly shining,

Sure it makes no sense, but then "Shake your groove thing" isn't exactly a meditation on life's complexities either.

And so Pride Week begins

In the interest of mixing up the gay dance anthems with some rock/rap: I nominate the Japanese group High and Mighty Color's song "Pride" as a theme to Pride 2005.

My ability to read Japanese is marginal these days, and the rap is pretty damn near unintelligible to my ears, so here's a partial translation from seed-forum.com:

Let's Go! Wake up and go to the unknown future! Now spread your wings in the approaching wind, It's at twice the power, bring it out and fly away. Uneasiness plus Pride fly into my heart.

Naturally, there are dance remixes available.

Racism in the bedroom: Is it nature or nuture?

The Guardian reports today on a study that states that being gay is genetic according to a study by the University of East London.

As earth-shattering as that is (well, to some people), it makes me ponder about racial preference when it comes to sex. A fair amount of gay men that I've met have said that it's not racist to prefer one racial group (or groups) over others. Given that the definiton of racism is "a discrimination or prejudice based on race," that seems like a clear contradiction. If you have a racial preference, then you are racist...right?

However, according to the article in The Guardian:

"The evidence, they conclude, is that people are born with their sexuality defined, and it is not the result of their relationships with other people in their early life, as had been previously thought."

If this definition of sexuality that we're hard-wired with incorporates not just what gender we're attracted to, but also what subset we're attracted to, then this would mean we are hard-wired to be discriminatory with our sexual partners. Indeed, "you're not my type" might have a biological argument.

I just don't think that this is possible. Taking my own sexual history into account, I've slept with men from nearly all ethnicities and body types and enjoyed it immensely. I can't classify the good sexual partners versus the bad ones along racial or physiological lines, because there is no commonality there. Likewise, I've been with racial fetishists ("chocolate queens," to be blunt), guys who have slept with a variety of men, and the well-meaning but tactless "I've never slept with (insert ethncity/body type here) before" types. During this whole entire time, I've never once made a conscious decision to fight against any preference other than male.

So where does racial sexual preference stem from? I have to say it's from society. If you talk to a lot of gay black men, you'll find that amongst those who date exclusively black they state that one of the main reasons is that it is "just easier," that they can avoid the choppy waters of race relations because they share the same ethnic background. The same argument is often heard by gay Jewish men, gay Italian men, gay latino men, etc.

On the other end of the exclusionary spectrum you have men who will date/sleep with anyone except their own group. With the "snow queens" (men who chase after caucasian men, often used to describe black men who pursue them), I think it's a variation of the stereotypical situation wherein successful black male gets a white spouse or girlfriend to show that he has either: a) "arrived" or b) "just as good." The images that you see in the gay media often support this. If you turn to the average photo page in HX or Out, you see musclebound white men cavorting mostly with other musclebound white men with a sprinkling of minorities (nearly always with musclebound white men) as a nod to diversity. It's not the best image for gay men of colour, but--as much as I don't want be devil's advocate on this--the numbers don't support equal representation for men of colour: we're a minority within a minority, and these magazines want to reach the widest audience possible. However, the side effect of these demographics is that some people percieve white boyfriend/sexual partner = better. This works the other way as well as the words "rice queen" (desire for Asians) and "bean queen" (desire for hispanics) attest to.

In both cases, the situation is so exclusionary that no one winds up seeing the other person who they are. The race supercedes the person, a thought which I find disturbing, because people look unique.

Ultimately, I really have to say that I would really like to see a study to pursue this subject. Imagine what the world would be like if we could get to roots of racial preference.

Nearing the finish line?

Just got back from the doctor--he's not so stoned today...good sign. The major news is this: I can now wear the corset from hell only part-time. Hallelujah! So my new sleepwear will just be the corset and I can spend the rest of my time being comfortable and corset free in this godforsaken heat and humidity.

This is also setting forth a new round of changes, because when the doctor gives me an inch, I'm taking a mile.

1. I'm resuming smoking full-time. Granted this means just going from the 1 cigarette I had a day to 6, but believe you me, those other 5 were missed dearly.
2. I can now resume masturbating (you try masturbating when you can't bend your stomach).
3. Sex is back! Until July, I probably won't be able to go wild and acrobatic as I would like to, but at least I'm functional.
4. I may be able to cut my hair. I vowed not to get my hair cut until I got the ok to ditch the vest.
5. If my trainer calls, I'm telling him that we're resuming working out on June 24th. I'll be damned if I'm going to go the Pier Dance without at least 2 days in the gym. Although the bisexual male hooker offered sage advice: "Settle for feeling average this Pride, so you can feel great next year."

The timing of this couldn't be better, since I was beginning to start following Passions and The Bold & The Beautiful quite closely.

Welcome to Milwaukee

The scene at Mitchell Field when you-know-what was read yesterday.

Perhaps people will remember where they were when that was read, but for me, I will never forget nearly falling out of a chair when McGreevey resigned stating that he was a "gay American." Even after he said it, I didn't believe it until the various talking heads spelled it out, because I thought he just meant that he was happy...that's how shocked I was.

You can be hot and left-wing at the same time

Young Howard Dean being a prime example (courtesy of "crushies for Dean")

Worth Noting

In the year 2005, you cannot get all the members of the US Senate to sign off on an resolution apologising to the victims of lynching. More than a dozen senators refused to sign a resolution apologising for the Senate's inaction while lynchings were running rampant in the 1950's. The kicker in all of this, the dozen senators who refused to sign off will most likely remain nameless, since the resolution will be voted upon without roll call.