Die Österreichische (Eurovision) Abwesenheit

* The Austrian (Eurovision) Absence (it's via Babel Fish, and my German is at baby level, so who knows if it's correct?).

Well, it's official now. ORF has unpacked their bags and said "Nein" to ESC 2006. They're claiming that the contest has no relevance to the (oh-so-happening) current Austrian music scene and has become a self-parody.

Uh huh.

The papers are claiming that this has more to do with declining audience figures and budget cuts.

Uh huh.

Now, I'm not Austrian and frankly my knowledge of Austria is limited to what I've read, seen in Vienna & Salzburg when I was a kid, and the rare coherent sentence from the governor of California; so, I'm just spitballing here.

First, what does it say about the state of current Austrian music scene if they are represented by an Alpine band singing a song partly in English and partly in Spanish? I understand the need to merge the past with the present, but be serious. As cute as it was, "Y Asi" didn't exactly make me want to run down to the record store and go on an Austrian music binge. In fact, it made me remember that odd ad that use to come on television for a polka compilation album. ("Who stole the keshka? Who stole the keshka?")

Secondly, cash-strapped? ORF has had only one competitor since 2000, according to BBC News Online's Country Profiles. Assuming there's an Austrian TV license or tax out there, things can't be that bad in a country of 8 million plus people. As for ratings, well, Eurovision is far from the top programme on France Television, but they keep on with it.

Lest this post end on a negative note, I'm going to end it with a list of kind things I can say about Austria @ Eurovision:

• Three of my all time favourite Eurovision songs are from Austria: "Musik," "Falter Im Wind," and "Die Welt dreht sich verkehrt."
• "One Step" features the quite camp and funny lyric "Sex with you passes by as fast as spaceship Enterprise." I need to remember that one for future reference.
• While the performance may be as camp as Christmas, you can't deny that "Boom Boom Boomerang" was indeed a good comment on the state of pop music in the 1970's as well as now.
• In 1981, Marty Brem dealt with bizarre choreography, a woman singing backup in football helmet and swimsuit, and still came off as the 2nd sexiest and swarthiest man in that year's contest (next to the non-bearded, non-piano playing male member of Island).
• Admit it, Tony Wegas gave you a wet dream in 1993 with his sweaty self.
• Simone beats Samantha Janus hands down in the contest of perky blonde sings song about peace and humanity while jiggling about.
• Austria still holds the title of highest placed German-language song at Eurovision in the 21st Century. (It also holds the title of the lowest placed German-language song, but not the lowest placed song from a Germanic country. How do you like them apples, Switzerland and Germany?)
• Austrian Eurovision entries have been the spiritual home of black music since 1959, even if the performers looked more like Pat Boone than Harry Belafonte.
• Peter Horton looks hung with his sexy brooding self. Ditto Udo circa 1964. (What room, Udo? What room? Meet me there with your legs in the air.)
• "Sonntag" has the most dirty-minded, yet completely innocent and sweet lyrics you can imagine. Quite revolutionary for 1982.
• The first ever Austrian entry in 1957 can be read as an ode to bestiality.
• And finally, to quote Marianne Mendt in 1971: "Net die Show soll die Musik sein, Wie da Wind, wia a Traum, Soll's die Sprach der Phantasie und Freiheit seiiiiiiiiiiin" ("Not the show is important for music, like a wind, like a dream,it has to be the language of fantasy and freedom.")

(courtesy of Diggiloo.)