I'm back from Palm Springs! Ultimately, I had a great time, but I have to say that I was quite thrown by the amount of gay seniors in Palm Springs. Politically, I think it's great to be out (in both senses of the word) when you're in your golden years, and I enjoyed talking to the assorted people [ones who didn't seem to cop an attitude about a younger man "invading" their space] that I met. Selfishly, however, I did find myself yearning to hang out with a decidedly more youthful crowd...at least one that wasn't collecting Social Security. I did succeed to find them during my stay. (A slight plug here for kick-ass drag queens Miss Ursela and Miss Envy who showed me a great time on Friday night over at Hunters.)
This birthday/vacation trip did yield a major realisation for me: I have spent my life so far trying to grow up way faster than need be. I stuck out like a sore thumb in Palm Springs, and for the first time, it was not always a good feeling. Not only was I the only black man nearly everywhere I went (I'm used to that), but I was also the youngest. I felt like people were hesistant to talk to me as if I was an equal. Nothing stokes my ire like the "experience" line: "You're too young, just wait until you have some more experience." It's a valid point, but it shouldn't be used to dismiss an opinion. Part of gaining experience is by being willing to talk and hear someone else's life story.
One shallow upside to this trip was that I learned that a diet of basically alcohol, a muffin, and a burger for dinner does wonders for ab definition.
Now for the birthday saga:
I left California on Saturday (2/5), the day before my birthday. Courtesy of the time difference, I wound up landing in LaGuardia on my actual birthday, 2/6 at 12:15am. Before I left, I got an invite to join some people at the Roxy, which is one of the few nightclubs in New York with a gay night. (Listen, given the demographics, there should be WAAAY more selections than we have.)
I was told that they would be making their move to the club at about 11:00 on Saturday, which would be while my plane was somewhere upstate. Nonetheless, I managed to fight my way back to the apartment and made it over to the club at some point shortly after 1:15 am. Let me say this quite clearly: I am not a club kid. I have never been one, nor do I have any desire to dance my cares away on a nightly basis. I do believe, however, that when you are in a situation that isn't totally to your liking, you bring the party with you, and that's what I did at the Roxy.
That being said...
The club was like an assault on the senses. The music was loud, half the men had their shirts off (I joined in, because it was my birthday and I believe in embarassing myself in public), and the drinks were inexplicably expensive. $6-$7 beer and $3 water!?!?! How on Earth do you have a good time at those prices? Yet, it seemed like the majority of the people were. I felt very much like an outsider there and I think it was that my attitude needed major adjustment. I may personally find the idea of going to a gay club with your fag hag(s) cruel, but fair play to those who get a kick out of it.
[A sidenote on my opinion of going to a gay club with fag hags and fag hags in general: Based on my own observations, a lot of the "fags" who go out with their "hags" to gay clubs seem to be more interested in actually hooking up with another guy, rather than enjoying the company of their female friends, who they immediately drop when they find their one-night stand. I think it's selfish and frankly, wimpy. I've always had no issue in going out alone and have had a great time without having to be evil to someone else that I considered a "friend." I also have an issue with fag hags in general. I have several female friends, but I would not ever consider anyone of them a fag hag. Fag hag to me, implies a woman who is trying to live vicariously through her gay male friend in order to avoid dealing with her own problems. Likewise, I also think that a gay man who prefers to have a bunch of fag hags is a screaming narcissist.]
So this is how the year of being serious will begin: I am going to believe in live and let live. I'll still keep my opinions, but I won't let that which irks me, ruin me.
Wish me good luck, I'll need it when I get off my high horse.
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