I won! Uh huh, that's right! I won Porn Idol at XL.
Ok, granted it was only me and another guy, but still, I won!
I have Billy Joel, Elton John, a man from Rhone-Alpes, and my parents to thank because if it wasn't for them, it wouldn't have happened.
Why Billy Joel? Well, I was at Splash and debating over whether to stay for one more drink and then the tribute to Elton John at the Kennedy Center Honors came on. Billy Joel started playing "Benny and the Jets" and I knew then and there that I needed to go. (I'm sorry Elton, I appreciate all that you've done, but 90% of your music is dire.)
Why a man from Rhone-Alpes? After I arrived at XL, I struck up a conversation with a Frenchman who used to live in Chicago and he nudged me towards participating in the contest. Apparently the majority of the clientele want to ogle instead of participate since I was the only fresh face in this week's competition. The runner-up had participated during Week 1.
Why my parents? Because if they hadn't gotten a case of Spring fever, and not given birth to me on the 6th of February I wouldn't have had the impetus and the "screw it, it's my birthday month" fortitude to participate.
So what did I actually do? First, I gave an interview and did some porn dialogue. (This made me a nervous wreck, since I'm a playwright that can't think well off-the-cuff.) Then, I stripped. (Again, this made me nervous since I was wearing boxers, and my competitor had on considerably more hotter--for porn--briefs.) Thirdly, I had to put a condom on a banana erotically. (That was actually easy, and really surprised me with how well I can get a condom on using just my mouth.) Finally, I had to do a money shot using a bottle of Dawn. (I got a little too excited with that one, and definitely should've taken my shirt off with that.)
Comrades, it was close, but I won. I won. I won. I won.
Next week, I'm up against the previous four winners and let me tell you, I am nervous as hell. The grand prize is $500. (I won $100 and tickets to see, of all plays, Dog Sees God.)
So, here is tonight's very obvious theme song: "The Winner" from Gundam OO83.
7 comments:
Congratulations! Maybe for the next round you should get it video'd so we can all watch ;0)
Whoo-Hoo! And I second trunk guy's motion to video tape and post here! Also, know there is nothing sexier than a man in boxers if he...um...wears them well, shall we say.
;) Come on you have a fan base so I reckon you should do it - we'd only be dissappointed otherwise!
you never cease to amaze
This is the annual bacchanal. Anything goes.
congrats...a win is a win...I would have participated...LOL...with a different person's body on me...LOL
Woo Hoo.... congratulations!
"you've come a long way, baby!"
Is this the excuse I've been needing to fly up to New York?
Sorry.... it's just a bit too cold, but I also am waiting to see the video.
Post a Comment