Invisibility

I realise that I've probably skirted around a subject on a lot of my posts without necessarily addressing head on: invisibility. It's probably because on this subject, I don't quite know what to say in a direct manner. I will try this time around.

I've been rereading (albeit for the first time in its unabridged version) The Invisible Man and I forgot how much of a price everyone pays by keeping themselves and others invisible.

What's my definition of invisible? Invisible is not speaking up when you are being used like an object. Invisible is when you realise that someone who is seated right next to you is completely looking through you as if you are not there. Invisible is feeling the rage inside and trying desperately to quell it. Invisible is slinking off into the corner, watching the world pass by, and being confused by whether or not to interact in it.

All too often, I seek invisibility, but I also get incensed when I'm not noticed. I don't mean this in a vain sense, I'm only talking about not being noticed that another human being is present in your close proximity.

The old expression of "man is an island" has always left me perplexed. Yes, we are physically islands, but we are so dependent on others that it seems ludicrous to conduct ourselves in that manner. Today, while I was changing at the gym, I had elbows bump into me, conversations conducted over my head, and "pardon me"s ignored. In short, I became to those in my surroundings, a non-person.

It may seem like what I'm calling "invisibility" is just a lack of manners, but I think it goes further than that. If you look back in the history of discrimination, you'll find that people often employed slurs to dehumanise others and justify their perceived superiority and autonomy in the world. "Fag," "boy," "girl," and so on. (In respect to the last two, they might seem nebulous and are most of the time basically innocuous words, but with a certain tone of voice, they become weapons of submission.)

Modern urban life, I reckon, has forced many people to lump others into the category of non-persons. Many don't look around to see the cleaning people, subway clerk, or even junior colleagues. I wonder if there's a fear that if we accept that everybody is just as human as the rest of us, then we won't be able to function on a daily basis (the "I have enough friends" theory). As I see it, I think we can; since there's a difference between establishing intimacy and treating others with respect based upon shared humanity. We do not have to agree on everything, but there needs to be a lot less of "them" and "us" in the world.

As for me, when I go out next, I will interact as if I am a full-rank player in the world. It won't stop me from taking in the greater picture, nor observing my surroundings, but it will hopefully reinforce my sense of self and my involvement with others, because I am visible.