Random Weekend, eh?

Obama vows to end Don’t Ask Don’t Tell*, Rupert Murdoch decries the end of the free internet from China, Stephen Gately dies,** and Prince Philip tells it like it is in regards to televisions.

Not that there’s any strong link between the first three stories, but in today’s modern media world that still seems to go slow on the weekend, major (non- natural catastrophic) news stories breaking is rare.

* Re: Nobel Peace Prize, I truly like Obama, even more so now, but he’s hasn’t done anything just yet to advance world peace. I would think he would have gotten one in the future, but 9 months in…? Still, I think he gave the best response possible.

** Death doesn’t really take a holiday, but to those who were teenagers/young adults in the mid 1990s, it’s still a shock.

Sunday Jukebox is Sexy?

Or rather slightly camp/funk, which is how I’d classify Kome Kome Club, in particular this “goodbye” performance from March 1997.

Now For Something Different

Carmen Rupe, the first Maori drag queen, celebrates her 74th birthday.

See the story on 3NewsNZ.

Get this man off Australian Television

I’m not talking about Daryl Somers, but Dr. Rey.

Please, please, please. Return him to anonymity.

What the hell is he doing here?

Oi, Producer

Perhaps people reading this in the US have heard about the controversial skit on the Hey, Hey It’s Saturday reunion and Harry Connick Junior’s reaction to it.

(In case you haven’t here is a link to an ABC News post regarding it.)

I am not going to add fuel to fire, because the issue ignites both nationalism and racism, pushing rationality to the side.

I just have to wonder what kind of producer would think that it would be wise to have that sort of act on a show which featured:

• Marcia Hines
• Jessica Mauboy
• The Black-Eyed Peas (even presenting an award to them)
• Pink

Not to mention the aforementioned Connick Jr.

A bad call by the producers, not only for content, but for also failing to realise that in this day and age that everything is both global and local at once.

Midweek Comedy Moment

Feel frustrated at the DMV/RTA? Or at bureaucracy in general?

Watch this scene from the classic cartoon film The Twelve Tasks of Asterix.

The Past Comes A-Haunting

We've all said things when tired that we have later come to regret.

Yet when looking into this story on TV Tonight about former Sunrise weather presenter Grant Denyer*, I found this interesting slip-of-the-tongue which may give insight into what runs through his mind.

* (no AMS-equivalent nonsense here for the weather people, they just need to be perky in the AM and capable of reading a cue card from some far-flung and desolate part of the country.)

NBC meets its own level?

Taking a quick gander on the BBC News’s website, I read that NBC might sold to Comcast.

It seems oddly appropriate that NBC Universal, which was on its way towards become a cable behemoth when I left the US, would be bought out by one of the nation’s largest cable companies.

That said, the whole deal seems very AOL Time Warner.

Since we're on matters American, I just have to say: Go Chicago.

Australian Television Battle Royale 2: The Cheese Off

Nostalgia pipped celebrity as the reunion special for Hey Hey, It’s Saturday (think Sabado Gigante: Australia) beat out Celebrity Masterchef Australia’s debut by close to a million viewers, according to TV Tonight.

In other words: Nine beat out Ten (Masterchef, NCIS: Los Yawngeles), and Seven (World’s Strictest Parents Reunion Special, City Homicide), in that order.

It’s nice of the networks to let Norma Desmond have a little moment of glory.

iFail 2.0

Much to no one surprise, Kraft is going rename their new Vegemite brand from the daft iSnack 2.0, according to the Sydney Morning Herald.

The name was chosen by a Western Australian website designer (who should get out of the computer room a bit more, in my humble opinion) and has been roundly criticised nationwide ever since.

Appropriately the new name will be put to a popular vote, so that the Antipodeans will have only themselves to blame.

I have tried iSnack2.0/Vegemite with cream cheese, and it’s not horrible, but it does look very #2.0 on a crumpet, if you follow my meaning.

Australian Television Battle Royale

We are two days into what looks like 5 way match between all the Free-to-Air channels down here in Australia. (Even too-cool-for-school SBS and Aunty ABC are joining in.)*

* SBS and the ABC are government owned, so ratings aren’t supposed to mean much to them.

The winner so far: Seven, which has blanketed the airwaves, bus shelters, and frankly all of the country promoting Flash Forward, garnering it a remarkable 1.78 million viewers on Monday night in Sydney.

Personally, I found the promoting rather tiresome, and I wouldn’t be surprised that if the numbers start dropping next week. I left the US prior to the Flash Forward campaign kicking into high gear, but if it was half as promoted on ABC as Seven, then it must’ve been insufferable.

Seven also tried to seamlessly weave in NBC’s new Grey’s Anatomy knockoff, Mercy into Flash Forward with no indication that the latter had finished. Between the two, I prefer Mercy, but it’s also a case of being the best of mediocre lot. (Nine programmed the doomed-to-fail The Apprentice Australia against it and Ten had Little Britain USA.)

Still to come: Celebrity Masterchef Australia on Ten, which with its 7:30 pm timeslot, might bolster the fortunes of The 7PM Project.

For ratings, click onto TV Tonight.

Don’t Drink and Present

At least if you’re a footballer who can’t hold his liquor…and have a camera crew following your every move…at one of the most prestigious events in your sport. (The woman being interviewed talking about Brendan is his estranged--and pregnant wife, Alex Fevola.)

The off-season is going to be very interesting.

Read Closely

Dunkin Donuts is coming down under...at least to shoot a commercial.

Read the posting I saw today on Park Street in Sydney. (Cue Sesame Street music, and click on the picture to enlarge it.)

Well, there's a misspelling of a rather prominent New South Wales city, and there's the nice little emphasis on the ethnic background of the extras.

I'll give DD some slack as it remains to be seen whether that is relevant to the commercial...

...but it just strikes me as bit overly particular for extras, especially with the misspelling.

Bugger

If I was a paranoid type, then I would be quite unnerved by the fact that scientists are studying the dust that hit Sydney this week.

But I’m not.

Not in the slightest.

And there are worse things in life than having a third eye, or impotence, or turning into a cannibal.

Many many worse things.

I just can’t think of them at the moment.

Outrageous Fortune

Say Outrageous Fortune to most people in the US, and you think (much like I still do) of the 1980s comedy with Bette Midler in her Touchstone heyday* and a still relevant Shelley Long.

* The Hikaruland Bette Midler hair theory: The shorter Bette's hair is in a film, the less entertaining it is. It's like the Kevin Kline moustache theory, but a touch mean.

Here in the Antipodes, Outrageous Fortune now refers to a popular Kiwi dramedy about a criminal family and their attempts to make themselves respectable.

The opening song, Gutter Black, pretty much sums up what's in store.

And here's the current season (you might not want to watch this at work).



The rumour mill has it that the show is headed for the US--under a remake, of course. (We wouldn't want it to be known that there are other English speaking countries outside of the Northern Hemisphere, you know.)

Crossroads

ABC News Online posted an article about the return visit of Russian-Australians to Harbin, China some 40+ years after they were exiled by the Cultural Revolution.

It’s a fascinating read and reminded me of an excellent documentary, Crossing the Line, which aired on SBS (think PBS with less adverts) about the Americans who defected to North Korea around the same time. It is available on Amazon, and I would highly recommend it.

Red Dawn: Aftermath

Apologies for the hokey title, but apparently the dust storm caused pollution levels in Sydney to skyrocket.

That said, I’m not too worried…so far.

Here’s some footage I shot this morning, see Redfern go…reddish orange.

Again, no filter on the camera.

Red Dawn in Sydney

Apparently it's quite the rare phenomenon. (Yes, it is like the world has been tinted.)

For someone who misses snow--like myself--this makes up for it.

Serious coverage on the ABC.

And You Thought New Zealand Was Just Boring

Lest the tradition of Kiwi cracks here at this corner of the internet wind up fading off into the sunset, here comes an article on TVNZ’s website stating that lovely twee and unassuming Christchurch is now the capital of Krazy Kiwi Krime.

Given the spate of weird crime in Wisconsin, perhaps I might want to take a journey over there whenever I feel homesick for the Dairyland.

Revenge of the Shadows from America

Deja vu from the States seems to be this week’s theme, doesn’t it?

Down here, it’s somewhat of a pleasure to not be inundated with fundamentalist Christian faction of society that would gladly relish the attempt to legislate our eyes, ears, and minds on a daily basis.

Well, the Australian Christian Lobby (think Moral Majority sans Farwell) now making an attempt to clean up Australian television, according to this article in Uncle Rupert’s Daily Telegraph. Naturally, they seem to be conveniently forgetting that the best television policing is actually getting off your lazy arse and watching television with your kids.

It should be mentioned that Australian free-to-air television is a bit more frank than US free-to-air (arguably even more than subscription). The general rule is after 9 PM anything goes from language to nudity: Hell’s Kitchen for example airs without bleeping Ramsey’s swearing, and homegrown hit Underbelly is well-known for bouncing bare breasts and bums.

Meanwhile, in the US you still can’t say “asshole” or “goddamn” on free-to-air after 10PM (if ever), and Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction is still being investigated 5 years later.

More Shadows from America

This time of the communications kind.

As a 30 year old, I remember when we had several phone carriers:

• Local/State: Wisconsin Bell
• Regional: Ameritech
• National: AT&T

Then at some point in the 1990s it all went crazy in a big free-for-all that saw AT&T effectively disappear and reappear again (albeit now in a humble all lower-case logo) as one of several phone companies that offered everything from local calls to cable television and internet.

Here in Australia, it’s becoming a bit like deja vu with the partly government owned phone company, Telstra, now being strong-armed into splitting itself into two arms: a wholesale company that would operate the network, and another arm which would be the retail side of it.

The government and consumer advocates are heralding the move, but I’m a bit skeptical.

For starters, even though Australia has a fraction of the US population, distances are such that I believe a state or regional baby bell system might prove more useful than an immediate breakup.

I could very well be wrong, but as the government continues this action, it would be very wise to look eastward to see that ultimately nothing changed.

Monday Jukebox Goes To Kansas City

 

Although the jukebox has never been to Kansas City, it’s certain that someone there may love it.

The internet is global, you know.

Shadows from America

Shadows that I thought I had long forgotten, namely La Perry.

I am fortunate (if not blessed) to be living in a country where no one gives a toss about La Perry and his media machine, and for the most part it is great.

Yet, my disgust of La Perry did fuel me creatively with my own dramatic works. A recent article by Mark Anthony Neal in MSNBC's The Grio, hit the nail on the head for me in regards to my artistic relationship with him:

"Perry has placed a mirror up to our collective image and if we don't like what we see, we need to move beyond simply complaining about what Perry is doing."

Whereas before, I would likely treat news of another La Perry movie debuting at #1 (in the US) with same disdain that I reserve for Fox News, I just feel pity and feel fortunate that I am in a place and in a position where my work and works of other black (both Australian & American) writers are not judged by the Perry juggernaut.

Monday Jukebox Gets Luis Miguel to Save Australia

NSW Health Minister John Della Bosca resigned due to an affair with a student in her 20s.

John is no stud, and this morning we now have to envision this man in flagrante delicto.

The Jukebox would like to help out the public by presenting a more aesthetically pleasing male: Luis Miguel...in his prime.

Ah, that's better.

Everybody Loves the ABC (Nobody Loves Nine)

So say the results of a survey conducted by TV Tonight.

The major problem: shows not starting on time.

I must join in the chorus of those calling for accountablity when it comes the shows starting and ending on time. It's rather bizarre how Today Tonight seems to spend most of the week ending after 7pm.

Around Australia with The 7PM Project

Even though the 7Pm Project's weekly Metro Whip-Around airs on Friday, for non-Australian viewers, the segment gives a timeless insight into the different action or inaction (in the case of Adelaide) going around the country.*

* And fulfills this blog's Australian content laws. (grin)

Change: Japan

The Democratic Party of Japan won!

About bloody time.

Sunday Jukebox Takes A Jump

Admittedly, the jukebox has been a bit low on Australian (or even Australasian content) recently.

Let's take a hop, skip, and jump in rectifying that with Bluejuice's Broken Leg.

Hobart: Vancouver South

Tasmania is often one of the more forgotten places when it comes to Australian filming locations (well not as much as South Australia), but a new B to Z Grade Canadian film shooting there has merited an article on ABC News Online.

Why?

Because:

1) So few films are shot in Hobart.

2) It's actually set in Hobart.

Call it just a hunch, but I think you might see an uptick in Tasmanian filming, unless the Kiwis start throwing tax breaks like no tomorrow.

Signs that your TV Show is on Death's Door

As Australia's Perfect Couple limped towards its ending, the Sydney Morning Herald gives a list of warning signs to look out for that your show may be cancelled.

Though the article mentions mostly Australian shows, as someone who liked The Unusuals and Samantha Who on ABC*, I think the warning signs work internationals.

*Note lack of "the."

Is Chrysler Breaking The Law?

Down here, Chrysler is airing an ad that features Arnold Schwartznegger's image--his current Governor of California image promoting their "You Can Do It" Sale.

Now, this may sound tedious, but I do wonder about the legality of it.

Why?

Arnold Schwartznegger is the current Governor of California.

Chrysler is now owned partly (9-10%) by the US government.

Is it legal or even ethical for a partly government owned company to use a prominent civil servant or that civil servant's image to promote its products?

Schwartznegger "promoting" Chrysler is quite different than him promoting California tourism, which he is expected to do.

It also is different than Bob Dole promoting Viagra (shudder), which he did after he retired, and Pfizer isn't a government owned corporation.

Opinions?

Left is Right, Up is Down

Former Liberal Party head and Prime Minister John Howard comes out against the establishment of Bill of Rights.

By the way, RIP Ted Kennedy, you had so much more to do.

A Victory for Proper English

I admit that I am very particular when it comes to using correct English spelling and usage--I'm a writer, it's my stock and trade.

Since English is growing in usage, it becomes more important that people using English (be they native Anglophones or not) try to get it right. Otherwise it reads like gibberish. So I am quite happy to read that Shanghai & the nearby provincial governments are making a big push to get rid of poor English translations prior to next year's World Expo.

You can take a look at the uphill battle the authorities face by visiting the Sydney Morning Herald.

The Double Edged Sword of Australian Tourism

Apparently Australians aren't too keen on travelling domestically.

And the rest of the world isn't that keen on coming here, save for one deranged man on a Qantas flight.

Speaking of the Flying Roo, Seven coughed up a bit of primetime real estate (albeit on Saturday) to basically do a informercial for Qantas.

The advert is very cute and probably guaranteed to tug the heart strings of Australian expats worldwide, but given the amount of money Qantas is tossing at this campaign, it doesn't seem to really grab the bigger worldwide audience...and it doesn't quite seem--in my opinion--smart to air it domestically.

All that being said, it's not as big a misfire as the adverts currently making the round for the Victorian town of Daylesford.

A Question For American Readers

Whenever I take a gander at the US news sites, the debate over giving a public option for health care seems to be filtering into every last piece of news (even on a debate about saving the poor ol' rickety Hoan Bridge).

Personally, I'm a bit befuddled by it.

Is the administration advocating a system similar to one down here in Australia where everyone pays for a health care scheme, and you get a tax incentive for going private?

Or is it another thing altogether?

Believe it or not, the only US news of note involves celebrity murders. (Well, Australia lost to England at Cricket, the news is in national mourning.)

Friday Jukebox Says "Quoi?"

Classic French avantgarde singer Brigitte Fontaine's 1988 song Le Nougat.

Ah, I miss the 80s.

Bonus: A sampling of the iSelect insurance campaign which has been going on for ages. It's cute, quite Australian, but easily verges into the category of annoying.

The Flying Roo is in the Poo

Being a Qantas executive can't be fun these days: You have the Virgin Group nipping at your back at home and overseas, British Airways doesn't want to know you (and has a few troubles of their own), you're gaining a reputation for running shoddy old aircraft, and vast swaths of the Australian public chooses you last.

Just imagine the stress!

And yet, Alan Joyce still has faith in the Flying Roo.

No shit.

(Apparently you can say that on the ABC.)

The 7PM Project Might Just Make It

A sampling from last night, take note of the energy drinks segment:

Charles Perez Makes A Case for ENDA

After Charles Perez left WABC, I thought I would never hear of him again, well, apparently he got fired by his old Miami station after filing a discrimination claim. In his own words, he "committed career suicide to save his soul."

Perez gives his side of the debacle as well as insight into life as a gay news anchor in an article for The Daily Beast.

Meanwhile down here, gay news personalities seem limited to the ridiculous almost exaggerated American entertainment reporters on breakfast television.

On the federal level, Australia doesn't have ENDA style legislation, but nearly all the states and territories have legislation banning discrimination based on sexual orientation.

Good Grief, I'm Following Dancing With The Stars

I read on MSNBC today that old Republican lackey Tom DeLay is joining the cast for the new season of Dancing With The Stars (US) along with an equally bizarre group ranging from Macy Gray and Debi Mazar to the very Z-list Aaron Carter and Ashley Hamilton.

Down here, our Dancing With The Stars is down to the final 5, and it is very much a Seven Network show: One of the hosts is a cast member from City Homicide (Mondays @ 8:30, Only on Seven!; competiting are Lincoln Lewis from Home & Away (Weeknights @ 7), Matt White, the presenter of East Coast Today Tonight (Weeknights @ 6:30), and Kylie Gilles who co-hosts The Morning Show (Weekday Mornings @ 9). Only two other competitors have no regular job on Seven.

While it seems to me that the network is very keen to have showdown between Seven Network stars, the real big controversy has been blind paralympian Gerrard Gossens who quite frankly isn't that good of a dancer, but has benefited from a lot of sympathy voting. Gossens was also the focus of virtually all the promotion for the show. (The worse promo? One where Daniel MacPherson spoke on a dark stage and said "Welcome to Gerrard's world.")

Interestingly, the tone has shifted towards sending Gossens packing, even on Sunrise, one of the presenters said that he has to go. I agree. Mind you, I'm not keen on watching Kylie Gilles scoop the trophy.

It's a shame I won't be able to see Debi Mazar tell off all and sundry.

Monday Jukebox Writes To Whitney Houston

Dear Ms. Houston,

Congrats on your return.

I am only a lowly writer in Sydney, Australia, but if you should happen to stumble across this little bit of the internet, I would strongly suggest that you take a gander at the following clips. I hope you can fit these into your busy schedule.

Flashback to 2000. It's the Sanremo Songfestival and a woman named Jenny B comes out and belts out a jazz ballad called Semplice Sai ("Be Simple"), and wins the newcomers division.

The following year she goes into the Professionals Section and doesn't win with Anche Tu ("Even You;"which to my ears is the same song somewhat overdone), but puts on a good performance.

As for the winning song, well, Luce was a force of its own.



Mind you, I thought Alice's song from Sanremo 2000 was the same recipe (minus the extra musicians), but better. (Disclaimer: Alice can do no wrong in my book.)



Ms. Houston, might you perhaps consider singing in Italian? I think you might be up for the challenge.

Sincerely,

Monday Jukebox

Lady GaGa's Continues Her Campaign to become Madonna II

I quite like her sentiments, but in these cynical days, one has to be suspicious about Lady GaGa's demands about Kanye West create a "gay show,"according to this report from 3NZ/WENN.

I don't even see that much of an overlap between the two. (Mind you, Kanye West did sample Diamonds Are Forever into a pretty damn good song about blood diamonds.)

NZTV: It's not too shabby

CloudCuckooLand isn't just full of bumbling robbers, angry drink drivers, and loopy drug addictted thieves, they manage to come up with good programming quite often.

The latest one to hit the shores here is a show called Go Girls, which debuts on TEN this friday, and got a rave review from the Sydney Morning Herald.

Granted, I can't say I would greet a show that calls over-25s past it, but it does look like it has a nice cynical bite to it.

Plus, I liked The Insider's Guide To Happiness, so it's worth a fair go.

Come On, Get Happy, Noriko

Noriko Sakai has surrendered to the authorities, according to the ABC.

Personally, given the industry that is Noriko Sakai, I wouldn't be surprised if there is quick divorce.

Unless she's keen on doing a remake of A Star Is Born.

Don't Date Surfies, Kids

First it was Tsuyoshi Kusanagi going batty in a Tokyo Park, now it's ultra cutesy Noriko Sakai doing a runner to evade drugs charges.

And according to the ABC, she was just part of a campaign to promote the new jury system.

Camelcide: Just Joking

Now Erin Burnett is claiming it's just a joke gone awry, according to AAP.

Don't start planning your comedy tour yet, Erin.

Sometimes Anchors Shouldn't Speak Their Mind

Times must be rough on cable news, even financial cable news.

Camelcide?

Has this person never heard of seasonal wolf/deer/duck hunts that occur nearly nationwide in the US?

Was there some sort of anchor exchange programme with Fox Business?

Or is Jim Cramer aiming to get back on The Daily Show?

PS> Normal service will be resumed within the fortnight.

Goodbye Mr. Cuprisin

Sadly, Tim Cuprisin is leaving the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, and I've lost yet another reason to read my hometown newspaper.

Good luck, Tim.

But You'd Still Be in Adelaide

South Australia has been making a big push for Sydneysiders to consider moving to Adelaide, using the old saying: If You Lived [in Adelaide], You'd Be Home Now, and directing people to go visit their website.

Being a curious sort, I went took a gander at the website. The fun facts are reason enough not to move:

• Early Adelaide was shaped by religious freedom, hence its moniker 'The City of Churches'. Today, Adelaide is known for its many festivals as well as for its wine, arts and sports.
• The global media conglomerate News Corporation was founded in Adelaide. Headquarters were moved to New York in 2004, but the city is still considered the company's 'spiritual' home by Rupert Murdoch.
• Temperatures range from an average of 29ºC in January to 15ºC in July.

So it's hot, pious, drunk, and inflicted Uncle Rupert upon the world.

Sounds like Orange County.

No thanks, and apparently most of the world thinks so as well (from one of Uncle Rupert's papers no less!).

Apparently Australia Doesn't Want To Dance It's Ass Off

I had never heard of Dance Your Ass Off, but apparently it's a big (relative to the network size, and no pun intended) hit on Oxygen.

With Dancing With The Stars doing gangbusters on Seven, I can understand the logic of Nine dropping it in the middle of prime time. Unfortunately, it sank like a (no pun intended) stone: This review from the Sydney Morning Herald is pretty indicative of the reception it got.

Meanwhile, Nine is rolling out the programming for GO, and the results look like afternoon programming on a midmarket MyNetwork station: TMZ, Seinfeld, plus Fox's B team of programmes.

I think it will GO back to the drawing board, especially with TEN's new slate.

Not Again

Now it's two Korean backpackers gone missing, according to the ABC.

Meanwhile, Jamie Neale is looking like he might want to check out Patricide for Dummies .

UPDATE: Sadly, the two Korean backpackers have been found dead.

Woo Hoo! More L&O!

An embarrassing admission: I was worried that I would have to give up one of my favourite televisual comfort foods, Law & Order upon moving down here.

I needn't have worried: Channel Ten airs all of the flavours from Original to Crazy Male Ingredients (aka Criminal Intent).

Now, according to TV Tonight, Ten is adding the new Law & Order UK version to its lineup, which is--and makes no attempt to hide this fact--old Law & Order scripts adapted to the British legal system.

This could be interesting to watch, with a 50/50 chance of being either unintentionally hilarious or mind-numbingly dull.

How does the nickname Law & Order: Fish & Chips sound?

Me Me Me...Mine Mine Mine

I've refrained commenting on the British backpacker saga when it was going on, because...well...I thought it was a sham.

To quote The 7pm Project: What 19 year old leaves a hostel without a mobile?

Now comes word that for all of his claims that he was going to donate all of his TV interview money to the SES, not one cent has made it to his rescuers (cue moans from the Nine News offices, laughter from the offices of all the other news organisations), plus he's also bickering with his far from camera-shy father, who wants his own cut.

Interview with Jamie Neale

Personally, I think it all doesn't add up, except in the eye$.

Meanwhile, up in Queensland, the Australian workers on Hamilton Island (home of the "best job of the world") claim Alcatraz style conditions while the Brit that won the aforementioned job lives it up.

What do you expect from a team called the Maroons?

Given the controversy going on in the NRL, you'd think all those State of Origin (interstate rugby tournament) would be on their best behaviour.

Apparently not, according to Uncle Rupert's papers.

According to an article in The Australian, several players from the Queensland Maroons enjoyed a home-made party drug combined from an insomnia tablet mixed with Red Bull. The purpose of the mixture was to ward to effects of binge drinking.

Personally, I'd suggest taking Chaser Plus, but perhaps I'm a bit too square.

The Revival of Thursday Jukebox

Energetic, one of my favourite tracks from BoA's US/English language debut album now has a video, which is also going to tie in with a re-release of the album in a few months. Some may think it's repetitive, but in my opinion, the song is catchy (especially with the new bridge added) full stop.

Bonus: I've never followed Brown-Eyed Girls that closely (too ballad heavy), but their new song Abracadabra does have that nice "sound attack"quality to it, which is the flavour du jour in KPop these days. The video also happens to blend well with the lyrics. Watch it to the end for the interesting Diabolique twist.

New Zealand Wonders: Why are we poor?

The ABC is reporting that New Zealand is setting up a task force (not a commission, but a full on task force) to find out why it's singing the economic blues and losing workers*.

* New Zealand citizens can work in Australia on a Special Category Visa that is granted upon arrival--provided they have no serious diseases or criminal convictions. Australian citizens have reciprocal rights in NZ.

My initial reaction is that this was quite funny, but actually I think this is somewhat a smart idea; however, I wonder how much will this cost New Zealand taxpayers?

Only a few days ago, the ABC also ran a story about how the New Zealand dependency of Tokelau--which is only accessable by boat--has petitioned the government to pay for a new boat to replace the 1970s one which is rickety at best.

Wellington's response: It'd cost more to get a new one.

The PM said he'd like to go visit Tokelau, but not on that boat.

I think the task force might find more answers looking at home, than overseas.

At probably a third of the cost, I reckon.

The more things stay the same...

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Perhaps it's the distance speaking, but this incident somewhat explains a feeling that I tended to feel in the US: a sort of heightened tension and fear of each other that somehow glues us all together. It's the old expression "better the devil you know" in operation.

Down here, I've noted that people tend to build very high fences around their homes, which to me suggests that they are hiding something from the rest of the world.

Not so.

The high fences are not interpreted by other Australians as suspicious, but just a way to maintain privacy within the home. There's no fear of the other at play, it's more a case of "mind your own business."

Conversely, at least where I grew up in Wisconsin, fences were kept low and curtains tended to be left open, as if to suggest that we are not afraid to show what goes on inside, and when curtains are drawn then it is a cause for concern.

Down here, most people chose to entertain from home and do so often. Back in Wisconsin, enteraining from home was a special occasion that occurred at most once every quarter.

I must admit that I still bristle at the sight of high fences, but perhaps that will fade in time. I can only hope that the same can be said of the mistrust between Americans towards one another.

From the Ashes of This Afternoon

(Yes, This Afternoon has been cancelled. Not that anyone noticed, mostly because it was night when that show ever finished.)

While everyone, their grandparents, and their pets was watching Masterchef Australia (think Top Chef and you have 99.9% of the format), TEN's real golden child is The 7PM Project which premieres today.

A product of Rove McManus's production company, the show swears up and down that it is not The Daily Show.

Of course it's not, they've got a panel of comedians, not just one with a supporting cast.

Actually, I think the show could really do some ratings damage given that it seems to be on the right network in the right timeslot, regardless of the content. It also helps that the head of network programming is not expecting an overnight success, according to the Sydney Morning Herald:

We absolutely believe in this strategy and we're going to give it time to find its feet. I remember night two ofMasterChef was 900,000 (viewers) and people were saying it's all over and then in a couple of weeks it was up to 1.6, 1.7 million. This show will take a bit more time to find its legs but if we're confident with the content and we're happy with the direction, it will stay

Good luck.

One Born Every Minute...

Suckers, that is.

I have been holding my tongue on this for quite some time, but I just have to say this:

Parky: The One-Man Show looks like either the daftest or most blatantly public ego massages I have ever seen.

For A$92.50+ you can watch and listen to someone recount his encounters with famous celebrities as broadcast originally on free British television, and rebroadcast on free Australian television.

Not like any of the actual celebrities are actually going to be there.

You are paying to just see and hear Michael Parkinson talk about meeting these people and watch clips of him interviewing them.

Shockingly enough, more shows have been added. Tsk, tsk.

Hopefully The Chaser will tackle this absurdity before it disappears into oblivion.

From the "Kiwis are Kinky (but safe)" Department

Ah New Zealand in winter...you're so aroused that you just up and steal a condom machine.

I guess li'l Logan Campbell's Buy-A-Bonk is popular.

I may read as being oddly mean towards New Zealand, but compared to the image that Police Ten 7 puts out, I'm practically a tourism ambassador.

Where NOT to put your money

Jerry Seinfeld. Regional Building Society. (Courtesy of TV Tonight.)

If they've got that much money to sling around, then I think it's time to take a look at the books.

I think anyone who's been around since the 1980s (not to mention all the recent banking implosions) would raise an eyebrow.

From the "Kiwis are Kinky and Krafty" Department

It's been some time since there's been a funny story about Cloudcuckooland (also known as New Zealand) over here, and here's a rather interesting and slightly sordid one:

It seems that in order to generate the funds for his London 2012 campaign, NZ Taekwondo athlete Logan Campbell is opening up a brothel according to a report by AFP via the ABC.

His rationale? He's tired of asking his parents for money.

You can see a picture of Campbell & his business partner at their club at ninemsn.

TVNZ, however, is oddly quiet.

Sea Patrol: The Movie coming soon?

Also in the Sydney Morning Herald is an announcement of something that probably everyone figured was going to come: Baywatch is going to become a big screen comedy.

Intentional comedy, one must add.

Good (and blazingly obvious) idea, but one must wonder about the scriptwriter if he's using Police Academy as his template.

Fragmentation: So What?

Apparently the boss of the ABC-TV has been lunching heavily with the head of Nine, because he's now joining the cautious whining about audience fragmentation, according to an article in the Sydney Morning Herald.

Unsurprisingly, the head of Austar & Foxtel's sales unit (the partially government owned providers of cable and satellite television) is gloating.

What I find interesting and a bit depressing amongst all the moaning is that no one is talking about improving the quality of their programming.

It seems that the heads don't seem to remember that a good show (as subjective as the word "good" is) will draw from all audiences.

Ferguson: It's about Seven's Ego

Uncle Rupert's papers shed more light on the reason why Mark Ferguson is leaving Nine for Seven:

Ian Ross is retiring, and Ferguson wants the Sydney bulletin back.

Makes total sense.

Or is it really just money?

I think it has more to do with Seven eager to get one over on Nine.

Meanwhile, This Afternoon changes executive producers, according to TV Tonight uh oh.

The Hilarity of Sea Patrol

US viewers may have to resort to YouTube for clips, but I have truly come to enjoy the campiness that is Sea Patrol.

Imagine if NCIS was invited over to Baywatch Nights' place for cocktails, found a mickey (or a Kerry, given that it does air on Nine) in its drink and woke up the next night to do the walk of shame down to Australia.

The resulting offspring would be Sea Patrol, at least in its current incarnation.

The previous three episodes that I have seen so far have involved:

• Deranged eco-terrorists with satellite phones and explosives.
• A radioactive seemingly uninhabited island with and a film crew hellbent on filming it (with an unnecessary subplot shoved in about a woman looking for the place where her grandfather's RAAF plane crashed back in 1940s)*.
• A ship practically deserted save for the psychotic killer who escaped from the sanitarium and proceeded to slaughter most of the crew (and the pretty boy actor who magically appeared to join the Hammersley at the beginning of the episode, if only to have an extended homoerotic mock fighting scene).

* Yet did we learn anything about the non-English speaking man who was trapped on that radioactive island for a long enough time to booby trap it? No. This isn't sodding Lost or even Doctor Who wrap up your plotlines!

Not to mention the fact that the show features characters called "Buffer" and "Bomber," as well as "RO" and "XO," and expects us to keep track of who is who. (Gender differences don't help as the cast is rife full of interchangable brunettes, save for 2 blondes...of which Lisa McCune is one, the actor playing the mysteriously nick-named "2 Dads" is the other.)

Given the current scandal that the Australian Navy is going through, a weekly Scooby Doo at Sea is probably welcome at this time. (According to the producers they have skilled naval advisors working with them, although Law & Order: SVU has advisors and they've been in self-parody mode for ages.)

Perhaps going for a point/counterpoint type of schedule, Nine has also been airing Underbelly Uncut (their name for the first season of Underbelly with extra sex, violence, and swearing) the same night, an hour after Sea Patrol wraps up. Some would say that it would be a case of putting your best attackers out together, I would say it's a case of hoping that the overpaid star would learn something from the hard-working rookie.**

** For an extra point/counterpoint feel to the night, I watched Lisa McClune (XO on Sea Patrol) and Damien Walshe-Howling (Benji Veniaman on Underbelly) on Blue Heelers, Seven's country cop show now in reruns on the Hallmark Channel (Hallmark has more bite here...seriously, it does, even if it is owned by NBC Universal). Tonight's double bill of episodes dealt with a drug ring, and proved that McCune is better than the scripts which she is presently given, and that Walshe-Howling is better than the scripts which he used to be given.

Nine's Head Writes A Check...

...that his you-know-what might not be able to cash.

I'm beginning to like Nine, the culture over there is very reminescent of NBC but cocky instead of oblivious.

Their most recent promise: their new youth channel will get double the amount of viewers of ONE (which is anything but first) by the end of the year.

Now this might seem like an easy feat, but if ONE is far from a success in the almost bulletproof sports format, how does Nine plan to get any angle on the very fickle youth market?

A mix of CW staples, reruns from HBO's most recent golden age (understand this is a country where swear words, nudity, and images of serious drug use air on free-to-air, so there's not much to be shocking with), and a jargon-filled excuse about fragmentation and how we'll have to read ratings differently because shows "will be monetised four different times."

My interpretation: He's praying for industry amnesia by year's end.

Boom! I Got Your Man

Nothing like a little dissatisfied newsreader/corporate rivalry to liven up the weekend, don't you think?*

Uncle Rupert's papers are reporting that Mark Ferguson is leaving Nine for Seven. (Star Trek fans: I have yet to come across any Seven of Nine jokes, you'd think the puns would be flowing.)

Ferguson's defection is rather interesting since he formed the basis of Nine's new afternoon news magazine (although I'd classify it as early evening despite the name) This Afternoon.

Ferguson always looked uncomfortable on the show, and now we have an idea as to why.

* Given today's date (at time of writing) it is rather appropriate. Fire up the Damages marathon.

Shut Up, Abbott

I'm a smoker.

I am open about it and don't shy away from admitting it.

I also became a smoker when I was of legal age.

As crazy as it may seem, I figured that like driving, drinking, and consensual sex, the government made smoking legal for those 18 and over because it is a behaviour that people at that age are generally considered to be smart enough to weigh up the risks against the privilege.

I'm actually in favour of the NSW government's ban on smoking in cars with children in it.

Pretty Boy Tony on the other hand isn't.

He says that it's "Nanny state" legislation and that he is a product of parents smoking in cars.

I find this quote rather telling: "You be the judge... maybe I would have been six foot six and I would have had much greater intelligence, who knows?"

What Tony forgets to mention is that he is a product of a time when we did not know as much about the effects of smoking.

I personally believe that the effects of secondhand smoke are blown out of proportion in respect to adults.

Children on the other hand have developing bodies and shouldn't be exposed to smoke in an enclosed space with only open windows as the sole ventilation. How asinine would it be for the legislation to be filled with exceptions? "You can't smoke in a car with children unless you're in a convertible or have all the windows open, rain or shine." If you're a responsible smoker, then you should be able to hold the craving via Nicorette or the patch. Most smokers are able to handle the urge while flying or while working in most workplaces.

To put it bluntly, revenue grab or not: Shut Up, Abbott.

I'm Baaaack

And it's the 1300th post.

It's Winter down here in Sydney, and it's more like a combination of Summer in San Francisco (cloudy, slight cold) and Mid Spring in the Northeast (low-to-mid 60s, low humidity). The picture below was taken only a few days ago near where I'm living in Redfern.

As frequent visitors to this corner of the internet may know, I love Winter. This. Is. Not. Winter.

Well, not my idea of Midwinter.

It does snow in Australia (and even moreso in New Zealand), and the ski resorts seem to be doing well at least in terms of weather. Unfortunately, Sydney is not in the Australian snowbelt (the biggest city that receives snow--and not much of it--is Canberra), so it feels more like an extended Spring to me.

Well, you can't have it all, and frankly, I can deal with having 50-60% of the proverbial all. Doesn't change the fact, that I miss Midwestern/Northeastern Winter.

News-wise, the biggest story (prior to the death of our Lord and Saviour Michael Jackson*) down here has been Ute-gate, wherein the Liberal/National coalition claimed that Kevin Rudd** got some kickback from a Queensland car dealer. The email that started the whole kerfluffle turned out to be fake, and now the nation is left wondering why the Coalition didn't turf out their idiot-in-charge.

* I know he was big worldwide, but the coverage here is ridiculous.

** Who is not the Albino Barack Obama he thinks himself to be, but still better than the alternative. I hold out hope that the Australian Democrats get some sort of revival or the Greens decide to live in the real world.

It is also the first day of the new financial year, which is quite the event apparently. Many shops are shut for stocktaking after a flurry of stocktaking sales which pretty much openly state that they'd rather get rid of it than count it.

The other big story down here is with the NRL (National Rugby League) where a series of players are basically running around glassing their girlfriends, stumbling drunkenly into hotel rooms that are not their own, and well...being thugs. Uncle Rupert [Murdoch]'s Sydney tabloid, The Daily Telegraph ran a headline that said Thugby League.

Last night's 20 to 1 was dedicated to madness and meltdowns, on the list it featured road rage, and stated that 74% of Australian drivers admit to feeling it. The NRL is starting to look like an outlet for those frustrations with modern life. That being said, I think the American professional sports leagues have a lot more shady things go down that never get reported.

Overall, I must say it is not so much a case of going from the Northern to Southern Hemisphere, but from the Western to the Eastern. Yesterday, I was on the phone to New York and started to made a reference to it being Tuesday, forgetting the time difference. The difference in time being such that Monday was barely finished (EDT is 15 hours behind Australian Eastern Standard Time).

Symbolically and literally, this is rendered a great deal of my US media diet nearly obsolete.

Perhaps Tourism Australia (ok, Tourism NZ too) should start using the slogan: Ahead of the Curve.

A technical note, it may be awhile before the video logs get up and running, but I am hoping to resume them on their monthly basis.

No Crims in the Mouse House

Well, no overseas criminals that is.

I mean ones who were caught and caused a big old tabloid blitzkrieg.

Yes, I mean her.

The moral of this story: if you're going to do a prank with any shred of illegality...don't get caught.

The Final Manhattan Video Log

Alas, it is time to leave and I offer some thoughts on departing, US politics, and realise that I am not skilled in webcam tours.

I am forever debted to everyone who I have encountered during my 8 years here.

Special thanks go to (forgive me for using initials): AS, MN, PZ, KM, AB, JE, CB, RB, KV, AW, and DS.

As well as God and my mother, although since I'm not religious, I'll just go with my late father and my mother. 

Sure Sandra...Sure

AFP has an article/interview with Sandra Bullock promoting her new film The Proposal.

Standard puff piece with one interesting twist: She says she hates romantic comedies.

She claims The Proposal is more in the classical 1930s-40s type of comedy in that it has a bit of drama.

Uh huh.

She also says that she "likes her comedy too much to bastardise it with romantic comedy."

Well, you have your moments, Sandy.

I wonder if she's gotten in touch with the marketing department, because they certainly seem to think it's your standard issue Sandra Bullock rom-com.

Sunday Jukebox Bows Down

Remember Insooni? Well, she released her 17th album last month and it's a killer one. 

The lead off single is Fantasia, and it's well...the only word I can describe it is f.i.e.r.c.e. (She's 52 years old as of April.)

Respect.

If only I can arrive into Australia like this.

It's Pride Week in Shanghai

Who knew? I didn't.

Apparently it was meant to be low-key.

My God...I'm Leaving Just As This Place Is Getting Good

There are things I thought I would never see come to fruition in the US that are happening now:

• A black president
• Government ownership (temporary, but still) of several major corporations.
• Politicians and the public actually making a concerted effort for increased accountablity for high-ranking executives.

And guess what, it's hitting Hollywood too.

Anyone who has ever studied or even looked at the entertainment industry from a financial perspective knows that it is a money pit, the depths of which are only escaped by Churros bought at Citywalk, an apartment building going with GE for its appliances, Miley Cyrus going on tour, or that new billboard on the LIE. 

Greater financial transparency in respect to the entertainment industry could unleash a wave of humility in an industry where humility is a cardinal sin. 

I do not expect this to be a radical overnight change, but perhaps instead of trying to get several overblown popcorn movies and shows that subidise the bombs, we might see a more balanced slate of entertainment wherein both the aim and reach is more measured: Are not several modest successes made with modest budgets not as valuable as 2 gigantic super hits that make up for a slate/season filled with turkeys? (Or should I say "peacocks?")

I am not saying that my vision is the likely outcome, but the fact that we have Variety telling all these execs that they aren't immune from the national mood is quite mind-blowing. 

I have to pity them on some level, because the ones who would be leading the angry mob are the actors, and after the SAG battle and the WGA battle, there are some seriously pissed off creatives.