Capitalism Goes Crazy At the Theatre

The chaos that was my mother's birthday weekend ended yesterday, and I can finally breathe.

The last night [Tuesday] nearly did me in. We went to see The Lion King (my mother's decision, one that she made with no consultation from me, because she knew my answer would be "when hell freezes over"). It was dire.

Oh, I'm not referring to the show here, which despite an asinine book, was indeed visually stunning. I'm talking about the huckstering--if indeed that is a word. From the second you enter the theatre, you are greeted with a man yelling out "PROGRAMS! PROGRAMS! Git yer programs!" Then on the Mezzanine--and I'm assuming Balcony as well--you have to walk past a huge concession stand with beverages, snacks, stuffed animals, CDs, and yes, programs. Somebody ahead of us asked if they could bring the beverages inside of the theatre. The answer was yes. Now, prior to this, everyone was told to dispose of any beverages during the bag check. So indeed you could bring beverages and snacks inside the theatre, if you bought them from Disney.

Having been to Disney World countless times when I was younger, I could look past all the pre-show marketing and shopping opportunities. What I couldn't get past was what happened during intermission. After the run for the bathrooms during intermission, they had vendors come through the aisles selling CDs, stuffed animals, and yes, programs! Now, I know that we are in an age where nobody dresses to go to theatre, but I truly thought that was beyond the pale. This is still a different occasion than going to The Lion King on Ice, nor is it a night game at Yankee Stadium. My mother (who used to go to Broadway quite often when she lived in New York) was just as disgusted. Come curtain call, both of us, refused to stand up, albeit for probably different reasons (protest on my part, and poor blood circulation on my mother's part).

If anyone in the cast or creative team happens to stumble across this post, I just want to say that you did an excellent job (except for book writers Roger Allers & Irene Mecchi who could've done a lot better than a cut-and-paste job from the script), and were it not for the aggressive marketing, I would've stood up and given you your due.

A sidenote: Never in my life have I seen so many people clap so often after every little thing. If the curtain went up, the audience applauded. If someone entered, they applauded. If they exited, they applauded. It was like the State of the Union address.

Another sidenote: Sally was in most of yesterday's The Bold & The Beautiful. That went a long way towards salvaging the rest of this week. Now give Darlene Conley more airtime!