The Pressure

Last night was my mother's actual birthday, celebrated in a small Italian restaurant in Yorkville.

This time I wasn't the only man at the table, as my mother's old business partner (aged 73, but looked 60 if he was a day) and his wife joined the festivities.

Well, he was a character and a half, lemme tell you. The second he laid eyes on me it was "why don't you get your mother to retire. Why? Why? Why?" As if I have any control over her! She has often hidden behind the excuse that she's waiting for me to establish my career (or at least have a nice nest egg saved up), but honestly, it has little to do with me and more just with her desire to keep herself occupied. Maybe it's genetic, as evidenced by the craziness that took me over this past June when I had to be sedentary.

When dinner wrapped up, and the rest of the group (and believe it or not, my mother and her college friends did actually call themselves "The Group," predating the film by 2 years) was piled into the limousine, he pulled me over and held my hand in what I would describe as a gentle vice grip.

"You'd better get her to retire. She works too hard. You'd better get her to quit rushing around. You know her health isn't good."

Seriously, Mister, what can I do? If there is one thing that my mother has taught me, it is that the quickest way to make someone hate you for a long time is to force them into a way of life when they aren't ready to give it up. I wanted to tell him, that if I forced my mother out of retirement (or even to Part-Time work), then I'm putting his number on speed dial, so he can hear the veiled resentment that is bound to creep up. The only thing that will cause my mother to retire would be a doctor's order. Even then, I bet she'll be cursing that doctor for decades to come.

Fortunately, on the ride back to the hotel, everybody trashed him. (Note: with the exception of myself and my great aunts, everybody else had known and met this man since the 1960's) Amongst the comments:

• "Until tonight, I didn't really care for him."
• "I always thought he was such a hog for the spotlight."
• "The man is out for himself."
• "He refers to himself in the third person."
• "And he name drops like there's no tomorrow."
• "He just knows everybody and wants you to know that too."

I don't even want to envision the Oedipal subtext of going out to lunch with my mother's business partner.