Tagging on a Sunday Morning

My mentor, liege, and blogging idol, FARB tagged me with a particularly interesting meme. This one seems to involve a lot of sevens.

7 things I plan to do before I die:

1) Represent Italy and Monaco at Eurovision with a raunchy, homoerotic rock song and stage show.
2) Have a sitcom and a miniseries on the CBC.
3) Get gay-married and have a child.
4) Obtain Canadian citizenship.
5) Go to a circuit party. (Damn you, David Stukas, for making me so curious about the White Party.)
6) Have a production on Broadway, off-broadway, the West End, and in Milwaukee.
7) Become fluent in ASL, Catalan, and Serbo-Croat beyond swearing.

7 things I can do:

1) I can come up with more pen and stage names than you can imagine using my full name. It's that long.
2) Write entire scripts by hand and like it.
3) Apparently aid international business deals, who knew?
4) Get sloshed in Chelsea on a weekly basis and still be able to write about it the next day.
5) Refuse to wear socks until it gets to 20 degrees.
6) Drink dirty orange juice like it's nectar from the gods.
7) Remain unbelievably stoic until you take Designing Women and Two Guys and A Girl off-air and unleash my inner raging queen.

7 things I cannot do:

1) Dance without looking like a stray from the Gaiety (a strip club that recently closed in Times Square). The rhythm gene skipped me, what I can say? I can only thrust my hips.
2) Watch a slasher film.
3) Conduct a Last Tango in Paris style affair with a certain someone. (Only Garrett knows who I'm talking about, and he's sworn to secrecy.)
4) Sit through an entire sports broadcast, even if it's a sport I love like ice hockey.
5) Have breakfast. (Seriously, I haven't had breakfast in over a decade. I'm just not hungry in the mornings.)
6) Write about anorexia--this writer's block has been raging for months now!
7) Force a moratorium on all jukebox musicals.

7 things that attract me to the same sex:

1) He watches the national news on a daily basis.
2) He can debate me for hours, spitting fire all over the place, and yet, it never gets personal.
3) Body hair.
4) He drinks and feels no guilt about it.
5) He's got an anarchistic streak about him.
6) He does workout--but not obsessively.
7) He has cute neuroses.

7 things that I say most often:

1) "Jiminy cricket!"
2) "What he doesn't know is that I could kick his ass."
3) "Jesus wept!"
4) "See, a jay-walker!"
5) "You're going to turn me red."
6) "Dear lord, another Ben Patrick Johnson referral?"
7) "I live an uneventful life."

7 celebrity crushes:

1) Ken Hirai
2) Gus Mattox
3) Wentworth Miller (though the scriptwriter in me can't be arsed to watch Prison Break, but if you've seen the way he looks in Mariah Carey's video for "It's like that" you know what I'm talking about.)
4) Jeff Berardelli (I can't explain it, but he makes me feel like a high school girl inside.)
5) Miguel Marquez
6) Vin Diesel
7) Aiden Shaw

(A singer, 2 porn stars, 2 actors, a weatherman, and a reporter. If that's not diverse group...)

7 people I want to do this:

1) Pookie
2) DonDon
3) Trunk Guy
4) Adam (You can say "opposite sex," Adam)
5) Mizez Slocombe
6) Guthrie (By the way, donate to his cause!)
7) Garrett (even though he doesn't have a blog, I'm going to force him to at least answer these questions)