Another Picture Says It All

In the photo, Edgar Costa, a Catalonian TV reporter friend of mine, interviews an evacuee from Hurricane Katrina in Baton Rouge. Edgar was in New Orleans to cover Southern Decadence, but managed to make it out right before the Katrina made landfall.

A Tale of Two "Closeted" Politicians

A disclaimer: I'm not saying definitively that these two men are gay, but there's a lot of smoke around their respective fires. However, if I wind up bound and gagged in the Hudson River...

My mayor and my senator are closeted, if the rumour mill is to be believed. Perhaps, I should clarify things a bit. The mayor of New York and the senior senator from Wisconsin are supposedly gay. NNDB even says so in respect to Herb Kohl. I do not expect in my lifetime to ever hear a McGreevey style "gay American" speech coming out of their mouths. What I find very interesting is that with one, I am content to let it slide, and with the other I am just waiting to go all ACT UP on.

First let's examine Michael Bloomberg. Supposedly, he was a lifelong Democrat until 2001 when he up and switched parties in order to get elected. Supposedly, he quite gladly forgot his Democratic past and welcomed the RNC in 2004 in an overwhelmingly Democratic city. I call him an opportunist over all. The local news in New York always mention Bloomberg Democrats, a phenomenon that has shocked me just as much as Reagan Democrats. I say the two are cut from the same cloth: "me above all others" (thought in lower case because they don't want to admit it publicly). I'd never vote for the fool--and had I acheived New York residency in 2001, I wouldn't have--but he wasn't as bad as Giuliani (yeah, yeah, America's mayor and all that, but do you remember what he was like before September 11th?).

Unfortunately, Bloomie started getting cocky: First, it was the smoking ban, which continues to make no sense, even to Penn & Teller; Then it was the RNC convention, which led to police confrontations with protesters, the cases of which are still being dealt with a year later; The West Side Stadium and Olympics that he tried to thrust upon us as recently as Spring this year, despite virulent oppostion (Bloomie's a money man, he only hears the rustle of cash).

However, what really got my goat was the fact that he decided that my--and therefore, his--right to get married to a man is not worth fighting for. In fact, he quite openly admitted that he didn't want a repeat in New York of what went on in San Francisco with Gavin Newsom. Why the hell not? I'm certain that like any person, Newsom has his flaws, but being willing to fight for what is absolutely morally, ethically, politically right is not one of them. Bloomberg has done nothing but try to turn New York into a playland for himself and his overly rich cronies. We pay exorbitant rent, you can't buy a home unless you're practically Rockefeller reborn, and oh yes, the arts are slowly getting dumbed down and the artists are seriously contemplating leaving.

But see, Bloomberg just doesn't care. If he can fatten his wallet, get his rentboys, and have no protection for whatever serious illicit male relationship he has--assuming that he does believe in partnership--then why should it matter to the rest of us? I mean here is a man that basically told gays & lesbians to "shut it" in February, and then in June had the audacity to do the Pride March! And not just that, he actually had a booth set up at the streetfair! How can tell someone "your rights mean nothing to me, but can I still have your vote?"

Lest I give myself an aneurysm, let's talk about Herb Kohl. Herb & I go way back. Well, inasmuch as he's been the senator from Wisconsin for most of my life. I like the man. I like him even more now that I know that he likes men too. If you grew up in Milwaukee, Kohl is a reassuring name, because you saw it everywhere. His family started up Kohl's food stores and Kohl's department stores. (The former got bought out by A&P and subsequently disappeared a couple of years ago, but everytime I go into a Food Emporium it's deja-vu. When I first saw a Kohl's department store ad on New York television, I did seriously think I was back in Milwaukee.) The long and short of it is that he's rich. He doesn't have to care or even be all that nice, but he is. An example: he voted down the Marriage Protection Amendment.

Now, Kohl is most definitely not as rich as Bloomberg, but apparently he has more heart. I'll be honest with you, a lot of Wisconsin is pretty, well, um..."country," if you know what I mean. There are people in parts of the state that see going to Rhinelander (a tiny little city in the North) as going to New York, and going to Milwaukee as being akin to visiting Gomorrah. I am not lying. So indeed, he might very well be taking a gamble amongst the bigots and closed-minded. This just makes me support him all the more.

Perhaps he's doing it subconsciously, but Kohl is working towards a US where we are all treated equally and protected as such. I will indeed vote for him (absentee, mind you) in 2006.

I pray that I will not ever have to hear or read the words "current New York City mayor Bloomberg" by that time.

Just A Reminder: VOTE!

If you're living in New York City (or any other locale with a primary today), vote in the primary today as well as in the general election in November. If you think that it makes no difference, think about it this way, only those who voted can legitimately complain.

I voted this morning around 6:30, since I hate crowds. I don't know what the Voter's Registry has against me, but I wasn't on the registry again, so I had to vote on a paper ballot. I've been a registered New York City voter for over a year now.

Still, it was worth it.

Finally, a premiere date

LOGO is now announcing Noah's Arc's premiere date as October 19. As hackneyed as this expression is, I'm going to use it: "about damn time."

In other LOGO news, I've been watching Open Bar, and the first thing that comes to my mind is that Tyler comes across as a butch version of Jonathon Antin of Blow Out. He's a very strange man. I'm both attracted and slightly repulsed by him. I want to have a torrid sex-filled affair with him, but I also want him to shut up, especially with his "dude," "man," and "bro" flavoured speech. I know he's a former USC frat boy, but Jesus wept, it's just annoying.

Also, for pete's sake, will he get over his paranoia about other's perceptions about him being gay? I mean, I read gay novels, read gay news on a daily basis, have a subscription to The Advocate, watch LOGO, and I don't obsess about my sexuality as much as he does. I know he only came out a few years ago, but get over it. I'd understand it if he had gotten hostile reactions, but he hasn't. (To be fair, I'll also assume that editing plays a role.)

Politics and my voice

This is going to be a rather schitzophrenic missive, but que sera...

The Democratic primary is tomorrow, and I think I finally have an idea who I'm voting for. I absolutely hate being undecided, but at least I got it together late.

So here's my slate:

• Mayor: Ferrer. I was on the fence with Weiner, but his performance in the debate swung me. Based on the polls, it's looking like a Ferrer-Weiner runoff, and I'm still going to vote for Ferrer in that, unless he screws up majorly.
• Manhattan Borough President: Ellner. I had waffled on this for ages, but like Ferrer, it just took one issue to put me in his camp. He's for a London-style commuter tax in Manhattan. Amen! Yes, the "emperor has no clothes" ads are cute, ditto the "this is my partner" (has everybody forgotten that Margarita Lopez is running as well?), but if he does actually manage to follow through on the commuter tax, I'll be happy. Will he win? It'll be close, but I'll be quite content with Stringer.
• Manhattan District Attorney: Snyder. I'm sorry, but we need a new DA. Morgy has been in charge since 1975! This is Manhattan, New York, not Manhattan, Kansas, nobody should be in power that long. (I even bet Manhattan, Kansas has had several DAs since Morgy has been in office.) In respect to her stance in favour of the death penalty, I'm sort of really indifferent. The fact of the matter is that the death penalty is on the books in New York State, so why not use it, if you use it exclusively for seriously heinous crimes? I don't get the sense that she's going to turn New York into Texas. If the death penalty gets repealed, then so be it. I still think Morgy has been in office too long.
• Public Advocate: Rasiej. Can't pronounce his name, but he seems pretty wry and wise in his campaign literature. I'm indifferent on this race, but I'm going for Rasiej, simply because I haven't read a peep out of Gottbaum.

Now switching gears entirely, my throat is extremely sore, and I'm taking it as a sign that I shouldn't be the cute li'l capitalist for awhile. (The guilt over these business deals will be around for a long time.) I don't really have discomfort speaking, inasmuch as drinking and eating, but it's got me thinking about my voice in general.

It is very unlikely you'll ever see a podcast on here (though TrunkGuy's are excellent), for one main reason. My voice is very breathy. You would think smoking for 7 years would change it, but it hasn't. When I was at college, we had a radio class and the teacher told me that I would need to pitch lower in order to "come across" on the radio. Essentially what she was saying is that my voice is suited for phone sex. And while I'm all for porn, I've seen Girl 6, no thank you. So I try to keep my recorded voice out of circulation.

A sidenote: I've added Bougie Black Boy to my blogroll--I hope he doesn't mind. The man is extremely insightful, hilarious, and like the brother I never had growing up.

It is a small town

You often forget that Manhattan is an island with just a little over a million people on it. Last night, while heading off on a mini-bar crawl (I need to dull the pain of my new capitalist lifestyle), I run into Meleni, a friend from high school who I haven't seen since 1997.

Meleni, by the way, was the singer I was hoping to see at the Roxy several weeks ago. Apparently she came on at 7am! So if I ever do the Roxy again, I will go to sleep at 10, and then go there at 5.

Slightly off-topic, but people have been calling me "diesel" recently, and I have no clue what on earth they mean. I can tell that it's a good thing, but the only thing that comes to my mind is "diesel dyke." Considering that these have been mostly straight people saying this, I doubt that's the connection. I realise I'm out of the loop, so please enlighten me.

The Middle Gets Wider

The Kraynak-Wright murder gets another twist. The authorities have come up with no clues from the autopsies as to how they died. No stab wounds, nor gunshot wounds were evident. The toxicology results, however have yet to come in. The armchair detective in me suggests that the answer lies there. Also, the surveillance tapes from the club that they were going to show no images of the pair getting out.

Just as intriguing is this article from 365Gay.com, which goes into their backgrounds:

• Kraynak wanted to become a high-fashion model since his days serving at Fort Bragg. With this in mind, he signed up with an Atlanta agency, but wound up in porn. An employee at the Toronto club the pair worked at stated that Kraynak was "very soft spoken and sometimes uncomfortable stripping."
• Wright conversely was quite happy with the money that he got from stripping, which allowed him to live a "party boy" lifestyle.

I haven't read the stateside coverage of this, but I'm hoping that they do not demonise either of these two because of what they did. I have sinking suspicion (which I hope does not occur) that Kraynak's hometown media is going to try to paint Wright as someone who led him astray, when both are now dead under mysterious circumstances.

What I would like to find out is how well did Kraynak and Wright know each other. It's evident that they worked for the same agency, but were they friends, possibly even more? The pair seem to have absolute opposite personalities. Wright being vivacious, and Kraynak being rather withdrawn. I don't want to jump to overdramatic conclusions, but the possibilty does exist that this is a lovers' suicide as depicted in many kabuki plays and in Romeo & Juliet.

A sidenote: Much has been said in editorals across the nation, that the American media only pays attention to missing young white girls, and never to women of colour, or men of all ethnic backgrounds. These men had been missing since August 22, and only the Canadian media, the gay media, and their local media found it worthy of coverage. You might very well say that this is only a local story. So was Natalee Holloway. So was Chandra Levy. So was Elizabeth Smart. How are they exceptions? What places their lives on a level of higher importance than those of Kraynak & Wright, or of anyone who goes missing? Part of the point of reporting on missing persons cases is the hope that someone will see something and go to the authorities.

So apparently men and minority women have lives that aren't worth saving according to the media's rules.

I'm stepping off my soapbox now.

An Open Letter to VH1 Classic

For starters, I love you. You don't dwell on insipid reality shows like your supposedly music-oriented siblings. You just play the damn videos.

Now, I have some bones to pick with you:

1. Please stop playing these videos of The Delfonics from when they were at some 1970s nostalgia concert. It's just flat out sadistic to see aging men sweating buckets and looking like they are about to pass out. Let's remember them how they used to be.
2. I like The Jets. Seriously, I do. Sometimes, I find myself walking down 6th Avenue with "Crush on you" playing in my head. However, I don't know what world you live in, but there is no way on god's green Earth that you could consider them "Classic Soul." I imagine Sly Stone would agree with me on this one.
3. Would you be consistent with your schedules? One day, I'm expecting Pop Show and get All Star Jams. I'm expecting We Are The 80s, and get some Carly Simon concert from 1977. (And unless it's an hour of "Vengance" played back to back, I don't want to see it.)
4. Please remove all Eddie Murphy videos from your rotation unless you plan on having a marathon of videos that are unintentionally hilarious. Or when he is forcibly outed. (Read between the lines of "Party All The Time.")
5. More ELO, please!
6. I have been watching you every day for 3 months now, and I have yet to see J.J. Fad, Chubb Rock, or E-Z Roc & Rob Base. For pete's sake, they play the latter at Splash, and those two need all the royalties they can get.
7. A house music night. Nothing but dance music from 1988 to 1993. Think about it. I mean, your sister station is LOGO!

Yours curmudgeonly,

Hikaru Freeman

First Massachusetts, now California?

California's Religious Freedom and Civil Marriage Protection Act passed last night by one vote. In case the title seems like it's anti-gay marriage, rest assured that it is most definitely not. The bill is designed along the lines of Canada's same-sex marriage laws, wherein local clerks are required to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, but allows those who are opposed (read: small-minded and not challenged by intellect) to gay marriage, to refuse to perform the ceremony.

Schwartzenegger, who probably owes his career to muscle-worshipping gay men, has not said whether he will sign the bill or not.

Update: The steroids have gone to his head. Schwartzenegger says that he's going to veto it "out of respect for the will of the people." Apparently, we aren't people in his eyes.

The New York City Democratic Primary Mayoral Debate

A disclaimer: I hate undecided voters. They have caused more restless nights and cruel regressions in policy by making up their mind the second they get into the polling booth.

Well, I'm one of them now. I have no idea who on Earth I'm going to vote for on September 13th. So I'm actually hoping that I'll get something out of tonight's debate on WNBC.

What I'm coming into this debate knowing:

• Fernando Ferrer is currently the leading in the polls and has the (tepid) endorsement of The New York Times.
• Gifford Miller has the endorsement of the Empire State Pride Agenda, and he's really young.
• Anthony Weiner is a congressman and reminds me of Jim McGreevey.
• C. Virginia Fields is the Manhattan Borough President and had a nasty public relations faux pas involving cut-and-paste images of her with different ethnic groups.

So on we go.

WNBC's senior-my-god-why-hasn't-he-retired-yet reporter Gabe Pressman is the moderator. There's a panel, but Lord Pressman wields the stopwatch to shut people up.

First question: If New York has a Katrina-style disaster, are we prepared? If not, how will we fix it and will you evacuate 8 million people?

Fields: Says that her experience as a borough president makes her capable. She will get as close to 8 million evacuated as possible. She also stresses that communication and training between borough presidents and citizens as well as mayor is key.

Weiner: "We need to do more, but New Yorkers shouldn't worry and can rest well." Makes a good point about there being 3,000 less NYPD cops than on September 11th. Talks about building jetties on The Rockaways, "the most populated barrier islands in the United States." Makes another good point about building a telecommunications "redundancy," because in an emergency cellphones are jammed.

Miller: "We're not as prepared as we should be. We need to think beyond the police department." Attacks the Bush administration's "eviceration" of the Office of Emergency Management (OEM). Suggests replacing OEM with the Department of Homeland Security so that we can be certain that someone is there 24/7. (You mean someone's not!?) Mentions that San Francisco has trained 11,000 "neighbourhood response teams" and New York has only trained 2-300. (Yikes.) Really focused on having someone in charge 24/7.

Ferrer: Stresses "one unified command that will give a coherent and consistent response." Says that Bloomberg has "muddled that command."

I say Weiner wins that round.

Second question: If the city is better off than it was 4 years ago, why should we fire Bloomberg and pick you? (AKA the "why are there Democrats voting for Bloomberg" question.)

Weiner: Bloomberg "has acted like a Republican, but hasn't fought like a New Yorker." Says under Bloomberg, New York has gotten less money from Homeland Security, allowed housing prices to go up, and been asleep at the wheel--which given that he's a Republican and the Republicans are in power, is abysmal. Says he will fight for his constituents over all.

Miller: (On Bloomberg being a RINO--Republican In Name Only) Says "if Mike Bloomberg wants to be a Democrat, he shouldn't have registered as a Republican." Attacks Bloomberg on the RNC in 2004, says that he rolled over for both Pataki and Bush. Says that he'd be a good choice because he spent the last 4 years fighting with Bloomberg every single day. (Miller is the Council Speaker.) According to Miller, he fought and won.

Ferrer: Brings up "muddling" again. Says that Bloomberg works for the Republicans, not the city. Says that Bloomberg's popularity is because his face is plastered everywhere. (He has a point there. Bloomberg ads have been on for months. This group only got on air starting in August.) Gets very angry by saying that by supporting Bush & Pataki, Bloomberg is screwing New Yorkers over.

Fields: The city is NOT better off. Mentions lack of affordable housing and the increase in poverty.

Miller: Yes, we're better off, but we need to focus on the future. (Sound of crickets in Rockefeller Center.)

Tie between Ferrer and Fields on that one, for me.

Third Question: How will you reduce class size, even if Albany screws you?

Miller: Cancelling a tax cut for the wealthy (500K+). (Looks really nervous while saying it.)

Ferrer: Really no answer. Says Albany owes us.

Fields: Albany owes us, but we have the room in our budget.

Weiner: We need qualified teachers, and they need a raise. (Gets cut off.)

Miller on this one, but he could sound a little more resolute.

Fourth Question: Terrorism. What will you do, that Bloomberg isn't doing, to keep New Yorkers safe?

Ferrer: Says Bloomberg's four appointees to the MTA (transit agency) were "asleep at the switch" and have been slow in implenting safety measures.

Fields: Will hire 2,000 additional officers to be part of an anti-terrorism unit. Says we need to cover ports, tunnels, and "soft spots."

Weiner: "We are starting a backslide on crime." Brings up the 3,000 less police officers again.

Miller: Says that we need to renegotiate the contract with the police. The fact that the starting salary is $25K, leads to police officers and their families on "food stamps," although has no proof beyond statstics.

Tie between Weiner & Miller. $25K starting salary is just an insult.

Fifth Question: (Housing! Oh, this will be interesting.) How many affordable housing units will you build?

Fields: 100,000 units over 10 years. Will pay for them out of the Battery Park City fund.

Weiner: Mentions that Bloomberg wanted to use the Battery Park City money to build the West Side Stadium. (Gets cut off.)

Miller: Will "create and preserve" 169,000 units. Somehow this will involve rent-stablising and rent-control, but I can't figure out how.

Ferrer: 167,000 units. Mentions closing the tax loopholes in the real estate exemption program. Also mentions going after slum-lords.

Ferrer, but just slightly. I'm pissed about how Bloomberg tried to forced the West Side stadium upon us, but tax loopholes and slumlords irk me more.

Sixth question: Will you use your job as mayor to advocate bringing back the troops from Iraq? (This is meant to be a "yes" or "no" question, and Gabe's getting cranky with people being verbose.)

Ferrer: Yes.

Miller: Yes, then prattles on about his role as council speaker.

Weiner: Yes. Gabe mentions that he did vote for the war. (Oooh, snap!) Says that he regrets his vote because he was lied to.

Fields: Yes.

No winner, but Weiner's armour is tarnished.

Seventh Question: (Gay marriage! This is getting good.) Would you as mayor break the law to marry same-sex couples?

Miller: Vaguely says "yes." Says that the law should be inclusive, although he says it in a roundabout way.

Ferrer: Yes.

Weiner: Yes, if it's legal. No, if it's not.

Fields: Will fight to change the law.

Ferrer wins. He didn't even blink.

Eighth Question: A woman attached to the Independence Party (huh?) made some inflammatory statements about Jews. This party has given some endorsements.

Weiner (responding before any question was asked): Not involved.

Miller: Won't take the money.

Ferrer: Won't take the money.

Fields: Won't take the money.

No winner, but Weiner takes another hit.

Ninth Question: Taxes.

Weiner: Middle class tax cut. Tax the rich, cut the waste.

Miller: Middle class tax cut and working poor tax cut. Renter's relief and small business relief. Waffles a lot.

Ferrer: Goes off on Bloomberg. Cut the waste.

Fields: Cut the waste. Goes off on Bloomberg.

Advantage Weiner.

Tenth Question: Bilingual education. Should it continue and how soon should the kids be moved into English classrooms?

Miller: Preserve, and try to transition as soon as possible.

Ferrer: Continue.

Fields: Continue, and don't try to quickly transition.

Weiner: Continue, but not let bilingual education be a crutch.

Weiner wins. Although, I'm now avoiding all education questions, since it's not high on my list of concerns.

Eleventh Question: Jobs. How will you increase higher-paying jobs?

Ferrer: Help small business as well as minority and female entrepreneurs.

Fields: Expand tourism and help minority and female entrepreneurs.

Weiner: Help small business and give them tax relief. Will stop the "Bloomberg ticket blitz."

Miller: Cut taxes for small business, and tax insurance companies who pay no corporate taxes apparently.

It's a toss-up here. I do believe that Weiner has a point about the ticket blitz. However, insurance companies paying no taxes is frankly, a sin. Miller edges it out on content, but geez, is nervous.

Twelfth Question: Race relations: Better or worse?

Fields: Lack of minorities in prominent positions lead to a tense environment. Ultimately worse.

Weiner: Better. Bloomberg has improved in that aspect, but failed in respect to poverty.

Miller: Better. Not where we need to be, mentions improving police relations and sensitivity.

Ferrer: Better, but we have a problem.

I'm with Fields. It's worse. She should've been blunt about it though.

Thirteenth Question: Would you describe your leadership style in this area as resembling either Dinkins, Giuliani, or Bloomberg?

Fields: Neither.

Weiner: Neither.

Miller: Neither.

Ferrer: Neither.

This was a stupid question, frankly.

Fourteenth Question: Will you keep [Police Comissioner] Ray Kelly on the job?

Weiner: Keep.

Miller: No, I want my own comissioner.

Ferrer: No, I want my own.

Fields: No, I want my own.

Personally, I'm indifferent, but I see the point of bringing in your own person. Miller was blunt in this aspect.

Fifteenth Question: If you couldn't vote for yourself, who would you vote for? (Are you kidding me with this question?)

Weiner: Fields.

Fields: Undecided.

Miller: Whoever wins the primary. Gets fiery.

Ferrer: Joke answer.

No winner with this daft question.

Sixteenth Question: Who was your role model? (Gabe, have you been spending too much time with Barbara Walters?)

Weiner: My grandfather.

Miller: My father.

Ferrer: My mother.

Fields: My mother.

Weiner gets a sympathetic win, because he was cut off. But really no winner.

Closing statements.

Fields: I'm very experienced (activist, social worker, elected official). We need jobs, we need to fix poverty. Make this the best city to raise a child.

Ferrer: The Democratic party and its policies made a difference in my life. It doesn't need to be reinvented. We need to remember our ideals. We need to get serious about unemployment and housing.

Weiner: Invokes Chuck Schumer. Middle class tax cut and teachers' raise. I'm for hard workers.

Miller: Middle class is shrinking. Poverty is up in New York. Invokes his record as council speaker. Will work to "transform people's lives."

Wins:

Ferrer: 4

Fields: 2

Miller: 4

Weiner: 4

I can't believe this, but I'm actually in favour of Ferrer. It was the fact that he didn't even have to think when answering the question about gay marriage. He just said "yes." Miller and Weiner to a lesser extent waffled. Fields said she would work within the system.

Also, Ferrer surprised me by actually being pretty combative ultimately. I was ready to write him off as being bitter after his Bloomberg obsession with the first few answers, but if he comes through with his housing plan and holds true to his rather stirring closing statement about being true to the ideals of being a Democrat, then he might do very well.

If he wins, then it will be very interesting to see him and Bloomberg go act each other's throats. I like my politicians pissed off, and Bloomberg is pretty sedate publicly. If Ferrer can get under his collar and prove how he's messed things up, then he may very well win.

Alas, I'm still undecided with Borough President.

Splash-Stonewall Post-Mortem: The Return of Alex and other sordid things

Well, it all started out so innocently.

At Splash, I wound up being served by the infamous Alex. As usual, my focus remained the videos, but Alex, who definitely has a perky personality, struck up a conversation. I was actually somewhat thrown as he served me (probably without realising it) the most nasty-looking bottle of Corona. It looked like it had been dipped in marinara sauce and frozen. I had to cover the bottle up in napkins to avoid looking at it. The beer definitely tasted no different, but the visual of looking at the bottle...ugh.

Things I had gleamed from our conversation:

• He's a student.
• He's very direct.
• He hates writing essays.
• Apparently being a playwright impresses people, which is something that continues to boggle my mind to this very day.
• He's got quite a fan club.

Cutting myself off earlier than usual, I went to the Stonewall. Here is where things turned sordid. (Highlight to read.)

I get there and seat myself next to a relatively cute man with glasses. It turns out it's his 37th birthday tomorrow. We start talking and he reveals himself to be on vacation from Iowa. Wouldn't you know it, but my bladder chooses then to be full and I excuse myself to use the restroom. Apparently, his was quite full as well so we go together. I am rarely pee shy, but unfortunately, this was one of the few times that I was. In fact, for a brief period, I was thinking that he thought that I was going to blow him right there. (To be honest, I was contemplating it.)

Well, I don't know if it's the alcohol, the fact that he's on vacation, or just the nicer weather, but my tongue was down his throat in no time at all. We spent maybe 3 hours making out. Oddly enough, there was another couple seated next to us who was doing the exact same thing, except they were PG-13 rated, and we were G. That didn't last for long. Hands proceeded to sneak under short legs, crotches were groped, and asses were caressed.

Giddy, and acting like we were in the early stages of love instead of lust, we made our way back to my apartment. (Him: "I'm going home with a successful New York playwright." Me: "Um, I wouldn't call myself successful.") In general, you can connect the dots from what happened next over the following 7 hours. (Yikes!) However, I have to point out one thing. No man had ever previously made me squeal by rimming.

Fierté, y'all

Southern Decadence--albeit in an extremely scaled down version--went on in the French Quarter yesterday.

You know, despite the criticism these parties get from both inside and out of the gay community, I'm glad they did it. There needs to be some sunshine in the world.

Tagging on a Sunday Morning

My mentor, liege, and blogging idol, FARB tagged me with a particularly interesting meme. This one seems to involve a lot of sevens.

7 things I plan to do before I die:

1) Represent Italy and Monaco at Eurovision with a raunchy, homoerotic rock song and stage show.
2) Have a sitcom and a miniseries on the CBC.
3) Get gay-married and have a child.
4) Obtain Canadian citizenship.
5) Go to a circuit party. (Damn you, David Stukas, for making me so curious about the White Party.)
6) Have a production on Broadway, off-broadway, the West End, and in Milwaukee.
7) Become fluent in ASL, Catalan, and Serbo-Croat beyond swearing.

7 things I can do:

1) I can come up with more pen and stage names than you can imagine using my full name. It's that long.
2) Write entire scripts by hand and like it.
3) Apparently aid international business deals, who knew?
4) Get sloshed in Chelsea on a weekly basis and still be able to write about it the next day.
5) Refuse to wear socks until it gets to 20 degrees.
6) Drink dirty orange juice like it's nectar from the gods.
7) Remain unbelievably stoic until you take Designing Women and Two Guys and A Girl off-air and unleash my inner raging queen.

7 things I cannot do:

1) Dance without looking like a stray from the Gaiety (a strip club that recently closed in Times Square). The rhythm gene skipped me, what I can say? I can only thrust my hips.
2) Watch a slasher film.
3) Conduct a Last Tango in Paris style affair with a certain someone. (Only Garrett knows who I'm talking about, and he's sworn to secrecy.)
4) Sit through an entire sports broadcast, even if it's a sport I love like ice hockey.
5) Have breakfast. (Seriously, I haven't had breakfast in over a decade. I'm just not hungry in the mornings.)
6) Write about anorexia--this writer's block has been raging for months now!
7) Force a moratorium on all jukebox musicals.

7 things that attract me to the same sex:

1) He watches the national news on a daily basis.
2) He can debate me for hours, spitting fire all over the place, and yet, it never gets personal.
3) Body hair.
4) He drinks and feels no guilt about it.
5) He's got an anarchistic streak about him.
6) He does workout--but not obsessively.
7) He has cute neuroses.

7 things that I say most often:

1) "Jiminy cricket!"
2) "What he doesn't know is that I could kick his ass."
3) "Jesus wept!"
4) "See, a jay-walker!"
5) "You're going to turn me red."
6) "Dear lord, another Ben Patrick Johnson referral?"
7) "I live an uneventful life."

7 celebrity crushes:

1) Ken Hirai
2) Gus Mattox
3) Wentworth Miller (though the scriptwriter in me can't be arsed to watch Prison Break, but if you've seen the way he looks in Mariah Carey's video for "It's like that" you know what I'm talking about.)
4) Jeff Berardelli (I can't explain it, but he makes me feel like a high school girl inside.)
5) Miguel Marquez
6) Vin Diesel
7) Aiden Shaw

(A singer, 2 porn stars, 2 actors, a weatherman, and a reporter. If that's not diverse group...)

7 people I want to do this:

1) Pookie
2) DonDon
3) Trunk Guy
4) Adam (You can say "opposite sex," Adam)
5) Mizez Slocombe
6) Guthrie (By the way, donate to his cause!)
7) Garrett (even though he doesn't have a blog, I'm going to force him to at least answer these questions)

Don't Believe, Don't Fear, Don't Ask

Bad things happen in this country on a daily basis, and I wonder sometimes why people get emotional when they realise it. Right now, there are inexplicable things going on in your very city that would churn your stomach.

The reason that I mention this, is because vis-a-vis the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina so much I've read is of the "I-can't-believe-this-is-America" opinion and thereof. Well, actually, yes, I can believe this is America. You see, there is a tendency in American society is to elevate all tragedies to the "worst ever." The truth is that whether a disaster is the worst ever or not is irrelevant. Whether it happens across the world or on the street where you live doesn't matter either. Suffering happens and what we can hope for is to get progressively wiser with each tragedy so that we can prevent it happening to future generations.

The old TATU song from 2003 "Ne Ver', Ne Boisya, Ne Prosi" (Don't Believe, Don't Fear, Don't Ask) has become a reminder for me when watching the news coverage on television and online.

Don't Believe: That what you are seeing is the sum total of what is occurring. Already, the news media has made a disturbing faux pas. A photo of a white couple carrying food was captioned as them saying that they "found" it, while a photo of a black man was captioned that he "looted" it. Such heinous choices by writers and editors do a disservice to those across the colour spectrum who are risking their lives to help others and not just themselves. Baser instincts are at work here. Everyone has been equalised. Appropriately, some in the media, are self-critiquing themselves when it comes to why are they showing these images and giving them a divisive spin. Even so, we must police ourselves, because cameramen and photographers cannot be everywhere, so there are a lot of things both good and bad going on now that we are not seeing.

Don't Fear: Losing it in your living room or office solves nothing. It may feel very good and therapeutic for some to cry, and if you feel the need to, you most certainly should. That being said, when things like this occur, there is a tendency to become hooked on it like "disaster porn." You just keep watching and reading more and more and getting gradually more incensed and depressed until you can barely go through life. It's a vicious circle that serves only to provide you with a connection to an event. It makes it all the more personal, but it does no good to those who love and care about you to see you rendered immobile. So indeed, do keep informed, but do not watch nonstop coverage. At the moment, you cannot magically jump into the television or computer screen to help anybody, and it serves no purpose to harbour "if only" thoughts when the present is what needs addressing.

Don't Ask: Do. Give to organisations like Rainbow World Fund and America's Second Harvest if you feel the need to immediately do something. As time goes on there will be a need for volunteers in many different fields and capacities, but for now, all we can do is give something. If you do give, don't talk about it, don't make a huge show over how altruistic you are. That's extremely callous and really illustrates that the motivator was ego instead of humanity. Do it because you felt it was right and move on. If you do choose to give to an organisation, investigate the hell out of it first to see where your money is going. Some organisations will use only a portion of your money for actual help, and others will use 100%.

And calm down, calm down.

Use the anger/hurt/betrayal/disgust you feel now in every election from this point onwards. Use it to monitor those in power. Use it to be more aware of your environment. Use it to help shape the world we live in, not just observe and comment. Serve all of us, and not just yourself.

A beginning, an end, now where's the middle?

The police in Laval have now confirmed that the bodies of Mark Kraynak and Steve Wright (the two go-go boys who disappeared August 22) have been found in a quarry. Apparently the signal from one of their cellphones led them to this area.

So now the mystery has an ending, and a beginning, but now what intrigues me is what happened in between and way before that night. How did they go from going into an after hours club to winding up dead in a quarry? What was their relationship like? Did Wright fall in love with ex-Marine Kraynak? Was Kraynak closeted? If one or more of them were gay-for-pay (don't even get me started on that "phenomenon"), what stirred them into that direction? I want to know the psychology here.

There are so many fascinating angles to this story.

One picture says it all

A child plays in the Louisiana Superdome (courtesy of the CBC via the Canadian Press).

I really don't want to comment on the Hurricane and its aftereffects, so soon after the actual event. I'll let the picture speak for me.

Thelma & Louise A Go-Go

365Gay has the story of two American go-go boys who have gone missing in Montreal.

This is how I see it shaking out. The ex-military man is afraid of both getting called up again and of getting a dishonourable discharge due to Don't Ask Don't Tell, so his party boy friend/sex partner decides to take him on a thousand mile odyssey throughout Canada: where they speak broken French, have a threeway with Ashley MacIsaac, take photos of themselves in headscarves--teeth a-gleaming, culminating in a high speed chase over the Confederation Bridge.

It's Thelma & Louise as written by Bret Easton Ellis.

Vintage Eye Candy

I am a bad gay blogger by rarely posting eye candy. As a mea culpa, here is a classic photo of John Wesley Shipp:

Attenzione!

Missives to Hikaruland may be interrupted this week as I'm working on a "project." It's not necessarily top-secret, but all I can really say is that I never imagined that my life's trajectory would lead me to hyping opportunities for capitalists--even if it is in the "Third World" and in a country that I'm surprised isn't up there with the Ireland, South Korea, Singapore, and the other "tiger" nations.

Oh well, I just keep repeating to myself "it's for the people," and I really do want this country to become an economic powerhouse.

(By the way, there were no hidden clues inside the preceding photographs. I'm just staying mum.)

In other navel-gazing news: Ben Patrick Johnson and Ron Corning must have loads of fans or people curious about them, because I'm getting loads of referrals with their names. Alas, the Cameron Cartio referrals are still coming in, lo these many months post-Melodifestivalen.

The Roxy Post-Mortem: Dancing to Oblivion

Yes, that's right, I went to The Roxy.

It all started out very innoculous, I was chatting with Garrett last night, when I saw a high school classmate's name listed as one of the performers to appear at The Roxy. I haven't seen her in almost a decade, so I roped Garrett into going.

It was like a surreal comedy brought to life.

Here we are two people who don't dance sitting in the middle of a dance club. It's too dark for Garrett to read my lips or my haphazard ASL, so we communicated via pad and text messages. A particular highlight was when I thought I saw B.D. Wong dancing shirtless, but upon closer examination, 'twas not him.

However, this is all beside the point.

Being at The Roxy that night was a bit of a sociological epiphany for me. You see, I can't quite wrap my mind around the logic of going there. You pay $20+ to enter (general admission was $40 this particular night), you have bottles of water starting out $3 (perhaps even higher), and it gets so crowded that you can barely move around. Why would someone subject themselves to this on a weekly basis?

The rationale that I've come to believe: These people are living purely for now.

Savings be damned, some people just want to forget that the world exists. Life is brutal today, we are bombarded with news of how dire the economy is, how the war in Iraq is a quagmire that no one seems to know the way out of, how the GLBT community is still treated like second class citizens in the US, and just basically how imperfect we all are when measured up against some impossible media ideal--especially if you look at gay media.

When I was making my way back to my apartment afterwards, I was thinking that I was going to focus on the absurdly thin twinks flailing their bodies across the dancefloor, the steroid abusers shuffling from left to right, and the Freudian hysteric Will & Grace-esque couples. Yet, as I type this out now, I realise that perhaps this is their one time a week where they feel at ease with themselves.

I often say that there is a lack of personal responsibility in today's society, but there is also a lack of self-love. It seems like the hardest thing for many of us to do is to wake up in the morning and say "I'm right as I am." This is not to say that we are no longer works-in-progress, but occasionally we need to realise that while we are works-in-progress, we are still marvelous things behold.

As marvelous things, we sometimes curse the sun that our lives have not become the stuff that William J. Mann novels are made out of. It always seems that someone else has got that special ingredient that makes their lives appear seemingly sparkling in comparison to our own seemingly humdrum existence.

So we dance, we spend beyond our means, we do drugs, we drink, we become nihilists. Yet we forget that in someone else's eyes, we seem to have it all.

The answer, as I see it, is not to be happy beyond your wildest wishes, but instead, to be serene. If you can, take a moment today--and every day, indeed--to just remind yourself of what you do have and what you are, instead of what you lack both externally and internally.

Then you'll know, that if you have made it this far in life, there is no need to dance off into oblivion.