Greed and cronyism always win

Warning: this will be long. (I did promise rants.)

All I have to say is "crap." I just heard on the local news that it looks like the board of the MTA will give the Jets their stadium on the West Side of Manhattan.

Apparently it's a matter of "dancing with the ones that brung you." The governor (who wants the stadium because he's in Albany and on the East Side when he's in Manhattan) has 6 appointees who will be voting for the Jets bid. The mayor has several appointees and he wants the stadium (again, because he doesn't LIVE there and doesn't CARE about the residents in an election year!). The only wild cards will be members of the board from the outlying suburban counties, but their numbers might not stop the steamrolling of the pro-stadium fanatics.

I have generally avoided discussing this topic because it gets me unbelievably livid. I used to live in Hell's Kitchen (which is basically where the proposed stadium will be located) and traffic over there is already atrocious. Even on Sundays there are horrific traffic jams as all and sundry try to get to the Lincoln tunnel. Now they're giving the green light to make things even worse? What ivory tower are they living in? (I don't even want to imagine how bad things will be if New York, god forbid, has the Olympics in 2012--which is something that less than half of New Yorkers want and which will only benefit business and screw up quality of life.)

What's even worse is that this bid would basically entail the already cash-strapped city to pony up with some of the money in concert with the Jets. Yes, with rampant potholes, failing schools, striking bus drivers, derelict public housing, homelessness, and cost of living going through the roof we are going to say forget all this and plunk down money for a stadium in a location that while desirable, is basically ill-suited. (I'm with the poor-surnamed Anthony Weiner on this one: Why not build it in Queens, which has the space and less opposition.)

I don't deny that the Jacob Javits center needs an expansion. One thing that is very surprising living in New York is how few conventions come here for a city of New York's prestige and size. The only question is why do we need a flipping stadium in order to do so?

Then there's the Cablevision issue: Cablevision owns Madison Square Garden where the Knicks play, the Rangers would play (if there was a season), and apparently was the site where unkempt Latvian Eurovision contenders Walters & Kazha became "well-known" in the United States. Cablevision has also put a bid for the land offered by the MTA. Their bid would entail building lower-cost housing and schools. All of which would be good, but to play devil's advocate here: they're basically protecting their own turf. (Madison Square Garden is only a few avenues away from the proposed site.)

Reverend Al Sharpton, who for the most part I like, has apparently decided to support the stadium bid because minority contractors will be guaranteed a piece of the pie. To which I have to respond: "to the detriment of the minorities already living in the area." This has created an odd alliance of Sharpton and his (and many other people's including myself) nemesis ex-mayor Rudy Guiliani.

Some quotes from Sharpton on Rudy:

"Even Bozo would be good in that situation." Said shortly after September 11, 2001 when Giuliani was being praised for his handling of the tragedy and many of his authoritatian misdeeds were being white-washed over.

"A broken clock is right at least twice a day." Said when asked why he was supporting the stadium which Giuliani is supporting as well. (I'll admit this made me laugh, but then, I secretly wished that Phil Gramm had stayed in the senate because he was so funny despite his noxious politics.)

All in all, everybody living west of Broadway from 59th street to 23rd street is screwed if this goes through.

Damn rentboy hippies

Since Walters & Kazha's write up on Eurovision.tv stoked my ire several nights ago I am going to serve my revenge with a brutal lyrical analysis of the first part of "The War Is Not Over:"

I slowly walk into the night around
To see how dreams of people die

Why are you walking around at night? Are you two rentboys? Is that why you're so moody and feel the need to harass people with your guitars?

They gently fall from windows all around
And crash against the ground like glass

Listen kiddies, life sucks. Just because your parents didn't buy you an ipod doesn't mean it's time to slit your wrists.

And I’m so sorry I’m so helpless in this angry world
If only I could change it for one day

Why are you apologising for the world being angry? Do you have a god complex? Both of you need some time with Dr. Phil for ego issues.

The war is not over everyone knows it

Okay, just what is this sodding war? The rentboys fighting for territory in downtown Riga?

It’s just a reason to make us believe
That someone’s the loser someone’s the winner

By this definition, "war" could include everything from the pointless action in Iraq to a game of Scrabble. I think Walters and Kazha were last picked during physical education class.

To make us believe that’s the way it should be

That is the way it's supposed to be! Christ almighty these two hippies are insufferable.

But I don’t wanna believe

Then why are you wasting our time yammering about it? Between you and me, you don't buy into this stuff, do you? Does Martins Freimanis buy into it, too? Nope. He's looking to make a bundle with the angst-ridden tweens.

The Splash Post-mortem

For the scant few who have been following my blog, you might perhaps know that Tuesday night is the night that I drink copious amounts of alcohol at Splash.

Tonight, I wound up inadverteningly running an hour late so that I wound up getting to Splash after they were showing the videos and were in the process of changing the seating area into a dance floor. Nonetheless, I had a good time. Primarily since I had been able to beat my own record in terms of drinking: [from just 6 beers to 6 beers and 3 glasses of red wine].

Other funny things:

There was this couple that had nearly identical hair cuts and body shapes who midway through my night (at least) decided to take their shirts off and dance. I found this quite funny, because it confirmed my belief that a significant amount of gay men (in this case those with matching peroxide dyes) are searching for their own twin.

Then there were the go-go boys. A black go-go boy provided one of the most unintentionally camp performaces on God's Green Earth. Another one started his whoring for timps right in front of me. Indeed, for five minutes I was sipping on an Amstel Light trying to ignore the crotch being thrust in my face.

Fun times.

They ain't on TRL

Blatant lies going down on Eurovision.tv. Apparently some two-bit performance by Latvian entrants Walters & Kazha at Madison Square Garden is enough to have them declared as being well-known in the US.

(Expletive) please. More no-name acts go in and out of that place than a group of marines in Hookertown. Just last summer, MSG hosted some big Russian music event with the names of the performers up on the marquee. I was shocked that I knew a few of them (well one, Filip Kirkorov who gave the most earnest camp performance at Dublin 1995).

Plus I ain't seen these scrawny scruffy boys on TRL. Who they foolin'?

(When I get pissed I channel my inner angry black woman.)

We're the 4th fiercest zip code in Manhattan

It's a rainy day here and the mind tends to get a little anxious for some stimulation. So I stumbled across an interesting website that listed the gayest zip codes in Manhattan. I am shocked, nay SHOCKED, that Northern Chelsea is 4th! We're not going to let those Hell's Kitchen queens lord it over us.

Granted this is based on same-sex couples, so perhaps it just means that the gay singles like it up here and move elsewhere to settle down.

French entry has ace lyrics

Here's a snippet (courtesy of Eurovision.tv):

Everyone thinks about themselves
As if they were the only thing,
Everyone sees it through
Just what they really want to do
Everyone thinks about themselves
As if they were the only thing,
Everyone sees it through
Only what they really want to do

Let's look around us
We live in a crazy world
Everyone seeks some glory,
Everyone seeks some hope
We forget all the things around us
Those who give us love.
We dismiss from our memory
Everything that stops us believing.
We leave by the edge of the path
The short-lived sorrows.
Everyone, follow the road
and leave by its edge
every last doubt
And carry on walking.

Wacky Hijinxs at Mitchell Field

A baggage handler for Midwest Airlines got trapped (although it could've been a set-up) in the cargo hold on a flight headed to Philadelphia. I can't say I blame him, Mitchell Field (the main airport in Milwaukee--only out-of-towners call it Milwaukee Airport) around this time of year is like the fall of Saigon.

Note his reaction at the end of the article. How very Midwestern.

The goal: Be a pretty corpse

You Will Die at Age 67

67 You're pretty average when it comes to how you live... And how you'll die as well.

I'm already pretty lucky, since statistically as a young black male I should've bought it at 25. Of course, I don't think there was any danger of a drive by at a Milwaukee prep school.

No objections to "Nobody Hurt No-One" anymore

You can't deny the sentiment behind these lyrics. Despite the grammatical errors I'm in total agreement with the meaning:

Hello sweet America, where did our dream disappear?
Look at little Erica, all she learns today is the fear
You deny the truth, you just having fun
Till your child will shoot your gun

Nobody hurt no one
Nobody hurt no one (anybody)
Nobody hurt no one
Nobody hurt no one

She didn’t wanna go to school, didn’t wanna face all this pain
Mommy, can I stay at home, I am scared the boys are insane
Don’t you dare to say, her reaction’s dumb
Cause she had no place to run.

Nobody hurt no one
Nobody hurt no one (anybody)
(so please don’t hurt any one)
Nobody hurt no one
Nobody hurt no one
You deny the truth, you just having fun
Till your child will shoot your gun
Don’t you dare to say, her reaction’s dumb
'Cause she had no place to run.

(Courtesy of Eurovision.tv)

Especially profound given the recent school shooting in Minnesota.

A modest proposal for the airline industry

As I see it, the main problems with the US airlines these days is that they are too bsy trying to be all things to everyone. They want to be your carrier all the way from Altoona to Shanghai. This is really not a terribly smart business idea. The solution? Why don't we just nationalise the major airlines? I'm not talking about creating one huge gigantic state carrier, but rather several regional carriers who operate mostly 500 mile flights with several trunk routes. (Sort of along the lines of the telephone companies before deregulation--that hideous word.)

Believe it or not, I'm preaching consolidation (albeit the kinder government enforced kind).

The Northeast: Merge US Airways along with American's routes out of New York and Boston, United's hub at Dulles, and Continental's fortress Newark. The resulting airline (let's just call it "Northeast") would be able to provide decent air service to smaller towns (such as the aforementioned Altoona and Lynchburg, Virginia...geographically I'm lumping in Virginia with the Northeast, although culturally it definitely isn't) as well as operate the still lucrative shuttle. The possibility also exists that the Northeast region could be split in half: One serving New England (former Continental/United New York), another serving Pennsylvania, Maryland, New Jersey, West Virginia, and Virginia (former US Airways).

The Southeast: Keep Atlanta as a major hub. It's always been a transit point and it's a good one (like Chicago). As for Miami, the resulting airline "Southeast" would also take over United and American's hubs there as well as US Airways's fortress Charlotte. The end result would have "Southeast" operating a major hub in Atlanta, and two smaller hubs in Charlotte and Miami. Northwest's Memphis hub would be eliminated.

The Midwest: Kick American out and leave O'Hare to the new United (henceforth retitled "Midwest"). Eliminate Continental's Cleveland hub, as well as Delta's Cincinnati hub (or turn it purely into a regional jet hub), and absorb Northwest's hub in Cleveland. This would leave "Midwest" with one gigantic (but necessary) hub at O'Hare, one smaller hub in Detroit (to serve Michigan, Ohio, and Indiana), and possible small regional jet hub in Cincinnati to complement the Detroit hub.

The Great Plains: The fact of the matter is that Northwest has a near monopoly on air service from Minnesota to Montana. This would be left as is, but fares would be kept at a more modest and practical level due to subsidies. (The Great Plains is one of the most sparsely populated places in the continental United States, if there weren't subsidies, then it's likely there would be no service to 90% of the towns shown on the map, which in turn would lead to economic stagnation.) This airline would continue to operate Northwest's hub in Minneapolis as well as take over United's hub in Denver. (It makes only vague geographical sense for someone flying from Montana to Kansas to change planes in Minnesota.)

The Southwest: Merge American, America West, and Continental, but keep their hubs. Phoenix, Las Vegas, Dallas, and Houston are some of the largest cities in the country. Their respective populations are high enough to justify massive amounts of nonstop air service. Virtually no change save for combining resources and eliminating overlap.

The West: Here things get a bit tricky. United and American have a pretty massive presence in Los Angeles and San Francisco (well, United does at least), while Alaska seems to rule the Northwest as well as its namesake state, and there's Delta's odd hubs in Portland and Salt Lake City. Split Alaska Airlines into a new "Alaska" (operating solely out of Anchorage and focused mostly on flying to, from, and inside Alaska) and a new "Northwest" (operating out of Seattle and serving Washington, Oregon, Idaho, and Northern California). Delta's hub in Portland would be eliminated. Separate from "Northwest" would be a new air carrier formed from United's and American's hubs in San Francisco and Los Angeles. This airline ("Western") would operate equally major hubs in both cities as well as take over a significantly smaller Salt Lake City hub that served smaller cities in Idaho, Utah, Wyoming, Colorado, and Nevada.

Hawaii: Merge Hawaiian and Aloha. It's quite surprising that Hawaii can support two airlines. (Not meant as a snub, just referring to the amount of people residing there.)

Guam: Keep Continental Micronesia as is.

Now what about airlines such as Frontier, Midwest Airlines, Southwest, JetBlue, etc.? These should remain private. The fact of the matter is that monopolies tend to get complacent, and they need a check to remain competitive. My argument for consolidation and nationalisation is that there is too much competition, not that it needs to be eliminated. These airlines provide lower cost alternatives and are not trying to be major carriers. If anything, having smaller "major" carriers levels the playing field by making them just as competitive.

Why nationalise the majors? I believe that there is a necessity for air service and that some sort of government intervention (in this case taking over and operating) is critical for not cutting off entire towns (or even states) from the US air system. We live essentially in a plane and car society (if Amtrak was given fair treatment by the government, then you could include trains outside of the Northeast and Midwest). It is the role of the government to make sure that where you live isn't a hidrance. A major component of that is making sure that you, your friends, family, company, clients, etc. can travel without it being a draconian experience. I don't believe you can trust a private enterprise to do that, since their focus is purely on profits.

Slipping further into stereotype

I have no idea what has come over me recently. Last night, I drank at Splash. Splash! (For those outside of New York, Splash is a big cavernous two level gay bar/lounge. The top has videos and dancing, the lower level has a lounge for the lounge types. The clientele is straight out of Queer As Folk.)

What's even more twisted is that this is the third week in a row that I've done it. (Considering that I only drink once week, where I go drinking is rather important.) The thing is, I don't think I want to stop and return to my old Hell's Kitchen drinking holes.

Sometimes, I think that some other soul takes over my body.

Since I'm in a big picture post mode this morning

The view from my apartment during a recent snowstorm.

Explanation #1 as to why I started disliking "Stop" a lot less

Omar Naber prepares for his final baptism into the pool of Robbie Williams clonedom.

More humble Eurovision pie

I already had put my grammatical issues aside to cheer for "Nobody Hurt(s) No One," but now that I have heard the studio version I'm now even more of a fan, because the lyrics are extraoridinarily emotionally gripping. Granted, Natalya's accent doesn't do my ears any favour, but from what U can gleem from them the song is either about bullying or spousal abuse.

Eating crow about "Nobody Hurt No One" (god, will they just add an "s!") is not as major as having to admit that the new studio version of "Stop" is quite good. It's no longer Omar whining with a soprano. It's now Omar briefly whining followed by massive kick-ass guitars that threaten to drown out the soprano. That sounds like it would be dire, but oh, it isn't. It's...damn near bliss actually. (You know this is so killing me to write these nice things about "Stop", but I will stick to my guns and still say that Alya and "Exxtra" should've won EMA. I'm making lemonade out of lemons here.)

Sealing Omar's evil takeover of my aural senses: His new video for "Stop", which seems to be aiming to make him the Balkan Robbie Williams. (Be still my heart.)

I'll revise my position to I don't necessarily want to see "Stop*" go all the way, but I definitely don't want it to fail miserably.

*Now if Slovenia sent the "Stop" which KGB performed at the Russian final, then it'd be a different matter. That "Stop" was ace.

Lemme Eat Some Humble Pie: Eurovision Errata

Belarussian entrant Angelica Agurash (aka Anna Oxa mk. II) has replaced the camp ballad "Boys & Girls" with the camp dance tune "Love Me Tonight. " This new song is only a minor improvement on the lyrics side, though it suffers from the Russian curse (although the writer of "Love Me Tonight" is Greek, and responsible for the inanity that was "Shake It" last year) of atrocious grammar that could be rectified by adding just a few words. In this particular case the line "It's no sin, it's no crime, that I want you mine." (The song could hold up under the strain of just adding "to be.") All that being said, if Angelica manages an Oxa-style stage show, this could get them out of the wasteland that is this year's semi-final.

Speaking of which, Lebanon has now withdrawn and Tele-Liban will now be hit with the standard penalty as well as probably an extra fine. The reason why seems to be that the Lebanese government doesn't want to air the Israeli entry. (There is a tasteless joke about Israeli entries that could be made here, but I won't go there.) Personally, both entries were pretty much the same in my book, so this raises Israel's chance I reckon. From a political perspective, I frankly can't blame them for withdrawing what with all the Ukraine-style upheaval going on in Lebanon currently. Perhaps they'll get over it by next year and the new government will work to build olive branches across the Levant? Or not.

Finally, I have to eat my words about Monaco's entry "Tout de moi" being bland. It most certainly is not. Heard in its full version with a soaring musical score performed by the Monaco Philharmonic, it's rather stirring. I can only wonder how TMC will stage it in Kiev since orchestras seem to be pariahs these days.

Up in Heaven, Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy are crying for our deluded minds

Why oh why did they turn a classy, well-regarded 1960's dramedy into a daft slapstick comedy vehicle for Ashton Kutcher and Bernie Mac? What could possibly be next? Snoop Dogg in the remake of In the Heat of the Night? People, if you are going to remake a film, at least stick to the original tone. I'm all for a remake of Casino Royale or even better, Skidoo (an all-gay version with Nathan Lane in the Jackie Gleason role and Mario Cantone in the Carol Channing role). Are you listening Warner Brothers?

I say ream those 'roid heads

Although the Gannon scandal and other evil behind-the-scenes machinations of the current administration should be receiving this amount of press, I am actually glad that the government is investigating to abuse of steroids in professional baseball. The fact of the matter is that these athletes/guinea pigs are woefully overpaid to produce "shocking" results on the field. Performances which could not be done without the benefit of steroids.

Basically, the thinking of these players seems to go along the lines of: "If I inject the steroid into my rear, then I'll get bigger, which will allow me to hit the ball further, which will give me more money."

On some level, fair play to them for wanting to take the money and run, because no sane person would look up to professional athletes as role models. Nonetheless, there are times you have to save people from themselves. This is why medical experiments are regulated. This is why there is an FDA (a highly de-fanged FDA these days, but still an FDA).

I would be extremely pleased to see this system of setting up these men to become genetic freaks broken down. The fact of the matter is that it might have a subsequent effect with the vain men that go to the gym. This past Tuesday, my trainer pointed out the higher amount of huge men at the gym, the reason for the upswing in numbers being that it is time for the spring cycles.

You've seen these men, the ones who are so huge that they are out of proportion. Any time that you see someone so huge that they waddle. Probably juicing. Somebody who can't even seem to bring their arms to rest by their sides? On steroids. Somehow we've created this culture that says that it's better to look extraordinary for 5 years, and pay for it in medical problems for the rest of a lifetime. These hearings might just be a way to reverse that trend.

You tell 'em, Tim

Tim Cuprisin, who is the main media writer for the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, hits the nail on the head in respect to those who complain about the wall-to-wall coverage of the shootings in Brookfield.

I may get myself thrown in a jail cell for saying this, but sometimes I think Tim is better than the media writers for the New York papers (even--dare I say it?--The New York Observer).

My 1/16th Irish self wishes you all a happy St. Patrick's Day. (Unfortunately this year's celebration is severely marred by the fact that I cannot find a single New York McDonald's which carries the Shamrock shake. Dammit, I needs me seasonal shake fix.)

Those sun-interpreting hags are still better than "Las Vegas": Eurovision 2005 Body Count Update for the Final

All healed now, but heeding my horoscope which suggested that I clean out unfinished business, here's the Eurovision Body Count for the Final.
Like last time, I listened and/or watched 90 seconds of each entry.

It gets lonely at the top (but at least you can be cocky): The Final

Albania: Ledina Celo - Nesër Shkoj
Keep the stage act, change the dress! Ledina comes out strutting in what looks like the only slightly more stylish version of that dress that Bjork wore to the Oscars several years ago. She's accompanied by a group of cocktail waitresses playing fake violins and an acrobatic man playing a fake drum. There is an unintentionally hilarious moment where Ledina and the waitresses march in conga line while Mr. Acrobat leaps all over the place. I quite like this fast pop-folk entry and after seeing it, I like it even more because it's nice to know that Ledina truly does possess a powerful voice. All that being said, after hearing that this song will most likely be translated into English I am now prepared for a lyrical assault on the ears on the level of "Pump-pump." (Remember the tragedy that were the lyrics of "The Image of You?" Somebody needs to rush over some English-Albanian dictionaries to Tirana pronto!) I'm also curious how they are going to work in the booming male voices singing "di-di-di-DAAAA" onstage in Kiev.

Bosnia-Herzegovina: Feminnem - Zovi
Well, it's quite dated. In fact it sounds more appropriate for the 1985 contest rather than the 2005. However, Bosnia sent another bouncy 1980's number in 2002, and Maja performed the living daylights out of it, so I can't write it off entirely until I see how the trio that is Feminnem (Is that supposed to be a play on both "feminine" and "Eminem?") perform.

Cyprus: Konsantinos - Ela Ela
It's the Cypriot version of "Rumpshaker." Seriously. Konstantinos sings "Come baby, come baby," follows that up with thrusting hips as he sings "bang bang," while an assortment of black clad female dancers cavort around him. (Teddy Riley should sue.) If I can ignore the daft, unoriginal lyrics and the hilarious choreography, this is not bad. It's not good, because this looks like a clear-cut imitation of what Sakis Rouvas did in Istanbul. (Sakis is also mildly better in the looks department, but Konstantinos is not at all bad either.) Not a winner, but Cyprus is probably in the final next year.

Germany: Gracia - Run & Hide
The writer for this, David Brandes, is also behind "Cool Vibes." I think he did a better job for Switzerland. Much has been said about the similarities between "Run & Hide" and the old grunge hit "What's Goin' On" by 4 Non Blondes. I hear the similarities, and frankly, I'm indifferent because it doesn't seem like blatant plagiarism. Gracia is apparently another former talent show contestant, and is not bad of a singer. (Speaking of which, Kelly Clarkson could take this song and bat it into the sky.) The performance, however, comes across as the kind you'd see by a high school garage band at a talent show: really good, but still amateur. On the positive side of things, this is extremely better than the dirge that was "Waiting for tonight."

Greece: Helena Paparizou - My Number One
It's the Greek Shakira! (Thank god, I don't think I could handle a Greek version of "Freak Like Me" to complement the Cypriot "Rumpshaker.") There's another potential problem here along the lines of the Albanian entry. Here it's the sampled "hey!" that pops up every sowhile. The video that I saw had no one vocalising it. That aside, Helena does an excellent job with this. It's also a pretty good song to boot. The lyrics veer often into the cliche of throwing various adjectives together to describe someone, but they have their witty moments, so I let it slide. I actually could see this winning. (Hopefully that's not a kiss of death.) It doesn't grab me, but it certainly draws me in.

Malta: Chiara - Angel
I didn't care for Chiara's song back in 1998, and that was yards better than "Angel." This is like a castoff from a bad Andrew Lloyd-Webber show. Chiara has also remade herself from looking like a mid-level executive to looking like she should be performing at La Scala. It's a shame, because I imagine that an operatic version would actually make this song more tolerable instead of mind-numbingly dull.

Russia: Natalya Podolskaya - Nobody Hurt No-One
My hatred of this song's abuse of English grammar continues unabated. Natalya, however, rocks it. Absolutely class rock ballad. If it wins, I would easily live with it. (Just one question lingers constantly in my head: Why can't she just say "hurts" instead of "hurt?" It's just a difference of one damn letter and it makes you sound like you know what you are singing about to anyone who is a native English speaker.)

Serbia & Montenegro: No Name - Zauvijek Moja
Dull boyband ballad. I could care less if it's replaced by "Jutro" which is a dull female soloist ballad.

Spain: Son del Sol - Brujeria
We've been down their road to fame. I'm no fan of these witches. That being said, since I get to watch Eurovision courtesy of TVE International, this in a vague sense makes the Spanish entry my "national" entry. Symbolically, I'd like them to win. Personally, there are better entries.

Sweden: Martin Stenmarck - Las Vegas
I have wished that this song would just go away ever since I first heard it and again when it won Saturday night. By the way, according to Las Vegas CBS affiliate KLAS, this is what is happening in Las Vegas tonight: Illicit lovers going to jail for stealing $8 million in silver; A police standoff causes a school to be locked down; two former NYPD officers are arrested for committing Mafia hits; and thieves have made off with sensitive personal information of thousands of people on file with the North Las Vegas DMV. Would you sing about that Las Vegas, Martin? Would you? I know you could.

Turkey: Gülseren - Rimi Rimi Ley
I don't claim to understand what goes on in meetings at TRT, but one has to seriously wonder. I mean, they decide that a song with a title that apparently means nothing, and a performer who looks like she's performing in an office talent show are winners. It's certainly peppy and cute, but it's kind of...well, dumpy. The remixed version that I heard at least has some chance of allowing Turkey not to bomb outright.

Ukraine: Greenjolly - Razom Nas Bahato
I'm all for political rants getting into the Eurovision. (Honestly. I liked all those pro-Socialist anthems and sly anti-Salazar critiques that Portugal sent back in the 1960's and 1970's. If you thought "Tourada" was political, listen to "Apenas ao meu povo" by Simone de Oliviera which was the artistic (but not overall) winner in 1973. Simone sings it brilliantly and the lyrics pull no punches in criticising a certain Iberian right-wing dictator.) This, however, is a bit of a mess. I can understand the symbolism of having one of the themes of the Orange Revolution represent Ukraine when the contest is being hosted by them, but it's just really manic and out of place at Eurovision. I could totally see it whipping up a crowd in snowy downtown Kiev, but I think it'll fall to pieces in the voting. By the way, what sort of daft rap name is "Greenjolly?" It makes me think of the Jolly Green Giant (a brand of frozen vegetables).

United Kingdom: Javine - Touch My Fire
Wow. This truly blew me away. Javine is clearly operating off Beyonce as a model, but still, this is impressive. Probably one of the few British entries that actually sound like what is in the UK charts right now. I liked this song when I heard it, but after seeing Javine perform it, I have to say she takes to entirely new level incorporating lots of brief forays into belly-dancing and some Bollywood-esque moves. My personal favourite out of all the entries.

So here's how the final shuffles out:

Gold:

1. United Kingdom
2. Russia (I pray Natalya adds an "s" to "hurt" in Kiev.)
3. Albania

Silver:

4. Greece
5. Bosnia-Herzegovina
6. Cyprus

Tin: (because bronze is valuable and these songs...not so pricy)
7. Spain
8. Germany
9. Ukraine
10. Turkey (the remix saved you)

Compost:
11. Malta
11. Serbia & Montenegro
13. Sweden
(Yes, my hatred of "Las Vegas" is so deep that I rank boring BALLADS ahead of it.)

I Promise, I'll Get Over This Lyric Obsession Soon

I just wanted to share an example of a song that has good lyrics.

Now, by "good" I don't just mean enjoyable, but I mean it in terms of being able to communicate a story and emotional state.

Samishikute Nemurenai ("You Can't Sleep Alone")
(translated by Michael House, from the Megazone lyrics homepage)

You met by chance in the heart of town
She's got a sunny disposition, but somewhere [inside] a sad city girl
You can't meet for a while after that,
But the town's gossip worries you.

(Relatable experience, tells a story.)

Somewhere a heartache, once more, in vain
You saw the place where you took her walking
When this song has run gently all the way to the end
Go on back with the story, will you?

(Develops the story further; conveys emotional state)

The smell of a gimlet reminds you
Of the cafe-bar where you whispered of love that one time
You've fallen out of touch since then,
But call me right away

(further development)

When this song has run gently all the way to the end
Go on back with the story, will you?
When you've heard this song tenderly all the way to the end
Go on back with a smile, will you?

(Abrupt, but hopeful resolution. In other words, you decide whether you will feel better at the end.)

All of that is not in "Las Vegas."