I'm at a low point.
I like to think of myself as basically a rational person. You know, the type who realizes when silly things prevent me from enjoying life, and blasts them away. The fact of the matter is that I fall short of the self-image most of the time. In many ways, I find looking at myself in the mirror one of the most traumatising things I can do. There are also few photos of me, because I prefer it that way. I really can't explain why I feel this way. It is possible that it is lingering thoughts from my youth (I was overweight until age 20). I remember very well how out-of-place I felt amongst other kids.
Yet it is also possible that it's due to how I take in media images. In college, I took a class called Semiotics of Performance. In a nutshell, it basically said/argued that we make 500+ judgements on people before they even open their mouth. Think about the images that you see on TV/movies/magazines (et tu Out), I'm far from a conspiracy theorist, but every seemingly flawless image is designed to make us lust for that person. It's the same reason you always see models showing off cars. Penn & Teller (on their excellent show on Showtime) had a great episode that dealt with body images. They put forth the view that it is all designed to separate you from your wallet. "Buy this supplement," "work out at this gym," "use this tape," etc. They've got a point. I can look at my medicine cabinet and see tons of supplements there. I have no problem admitting that some of them do work, and I take them to this very day. Yet, at the same time I know the main reason why I do: the mirror.
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