Tuesday Jukebox Thinks That's It!

It was a particularly taxing weekend for me, and apparently in Eurosongland as well. I'm going to try to address all of these in one post, but I am only one man. So I am going to try to hit at what was one of several Super Weekends in National Final Land bit by interesting bit.

This post's bits? Denmark and the most bizarre but still quite logical forms of voting ever.

Now, we all know that crap Ronan Keating Trainy Mess won, but as is often the case with Denmark the more interesting entries came from entries that placed 2nd and beyond.

2nd being Someday by Hera Björk, which really was Iceland meets Sweden in Denmark.



The favourite of this corner of the internet "Det 'det" came in that funny 3rd or 4th place that was the 2nd round of voting.

Now vocally I understand the placing. These girls/women are all over the place during the latter parts of the song. They get close to keeping the energy of the studio version, but then go into pageant show mode and seems kind of dead.

Plus there's the whole thing of the trio looking like Hillary Duff, Amy Winehouse, and Baby Spice. Still it's a kicker of an opening thanks to very well timed edits.

Friday Jukebox Goes Urata & Miura

Little Daichi Miura has a new video out wherein he goes all soulful for the laydeez with minor success.




A touch more successful (at least to my ears) is the debut video from the solo effort by AAA's Naoya Urata (although he styles himself as URATA NAOYA), who takes the Justin Timberlake emulation to an even higher level than ickle Daichi.



Bonus: From the "It's A Shame She Chose That Stage Name" Department comes Jessica H.O. Yes, that is her performing name, and she is pretty damn impressive.

I'm GLAAD He's Gone

Giuliano has resigned from GLAAD, perhaps now it'll manage gain a shred of the relevance it used to have.

The Flying Roo Thinks We're Superhuman

Which must be the only reason why they think that anyone would want to go to Sydney from Los Angeles for a 4 day break with a 14 hour flight each way.

Now, I admit that Milwaukee to New York and v.v. has knocked me back a few times, but I can understand 4 day breaks to Europe (from the Midwest & East Coast), Hawaii, the Caribbean, Mexico, or even Panama, but Australia is pushing it.

We know tourism is down in Australia, but this is just living in another plane of logic (pun partly intended).

Meanwhile in New Zealand (Part 3)

The whole world has seen those two prisoners bump into that pole (which was easily avoidable), but is there any coverage of it on TVNZ's website? No.

TV3? No.

But apparently the Kiwis have had a rash of prison breaks.

Thursday Jukebox Remembers Good Comedy Entries...

...in Eurovision, naturally.

Before the days of Verka Seduchka, Dustin the Turkey, Rodolfo, Silvia Night, and LT United, there were indeed comedy entries at Eurovision, and some of them even won.

Example #1: France Gall insults herself musically in 1965.

Note the lyrics written by Serge Gainsbourg.

Example #2: It may not have been lyrically a comedy entry, but it certainly was one visually and intentionally so.



Example #3: I'd say Mouth & MacNeal (3rd place in 1974) were a comedy entry in the same vein.




Example #4: The UK's oddly-prescient entry from 1977 that took 2nd place to Marie Myriam's ode to birds.




Example #5: Back in 1998, Guildo Horn tells us that he loves us...whether we like it or not.



Example #6: Stefan Raab speaks gibberish and gets 5th.




Example #7: Here's one that's on the fence, but I think Sandra & Andres were going for jokes back in 1972, and scored an impressive 4th placing.



Bonus: Here's a red herring. Paul Oscar's 1997 entry was not a comedy entry, but just one for shock value, possibly meant to illustrate the world-weariness in the lyrics. Sheila E.'s The Glamourous Life was in the same vein.

Wednesday Jukebox Ponders Ukraine 2009

According to ESCtoday, the duo NikitA will be amongst the 31 semi-finalists battling out to represent Ukraine this year.

This is one of their songs Mashina, which if this is any indication of their style, might go down well.

Jeremy Piven Needs PR Help...Stat

Now granted this is the New York Post, which bathes in the bombastic, but I can't help but think that Jeremy Piven's Mea Culpa Tour (and I'm not talking about that "aren't I more spiritual than thou?" India travel show he did) better start soon, because he has pissed one too many people off.

From "Awww" Department

I'm not one to remark on cute animal stories, but this story about Gay penguins in Harbin becoming fathers and having a wedding ceremony elicited an "Awww" from me.

You Are What You Is

Apparently a clip from the new season (I'll still use the US term as opposed to series) of the Australian crime drama Underbelly has got tongues wagging from the liberal usage of sex and violence.

Well, I've seen Underbelly and that is what it's about (at least in its first season). It's not quite jiggle & gore television, but without a doubt no episode went by without somebody getting killed--often post-coital.

So quite frankly even if Nine wants to appear above the fray, they still had their cake and ate it grinning like a Cheshire cat.

The Flying Roo Can't Catch A Break

I used to take some minor glee in all these Qantas woes, but now I'm beginning to think they must've really contracted some nasty karma.

Think about it: You've got the latest and biggest aircraft in existence. Your slogan is "the world's most experienced airline." You're managing to keep the proverbial faith in the face of several very public problems.

And then--on one of your most prestigious routes and on a holiday--you have to ground the plane with a journalist from one of Australia's most-read newspapers aboard.

Ouch.

Tuesday Jukebox Says You Are What You Is

And in this case, MEG (she of the dancing pissed off cat tea party video last year) pretty much calls it in her new song FREAK.

The video is...oddly sane for her.

New [PV] MEG - FREAK (japan)
Uploaded by waqwa

Worth Setting The DVR for

Next month's In The Life will be a big one. For starters it's Black History Month and given the recent events in the past year, it's important to remember that the gay community encompasses people of many colours.

The big feature covers the modern Ballroom scene first depicted in Paris Is Burning, but what I think is truly worth catching is the feature with Governor Patterson & gay activist George Chauncey.

Do try to catch it, because February 1 is less than a week away.

The State of Our Television Screens (East Coast Style)

Joining in the chorus of calling out television executives and producers on their lunacy/indifference is The New York Daily News which today has these two articles by David Hinkley, the first one slyly jabs the broadcast networks at partly dropping the traditional season scheduling, the other hits hard at the cable networks for creating those inequally bifurcated runs (Like the current resumed run of The Closer).

We're Not Living In A Digital World Yet

The Senate opts to push the big nonsensical (cable and television company welfare) digital changeover back until June 12th as opposed to next month.

The downside being that those ads will be with us for another 6 months, but to be honest, I never could figure out why they were so hellbent on 2009 in the first place.

The State of Our Television Screens

Also in Variety are two very smart articles that quite smartly and directly sum up one major issue: The Execs and Producers have lost their way.

Preach and Preach On.

Just. Say. No....Again

According to Variety there is going to be a US version of Absolutely Fabulous (yet again).

And it's going to be set in Los Angeles.

But this time it won't be called Cybill,* or High Society, and one would suspect it won't yield a subsequent Chuck Lorre (the creator of Two and a Half Men fame)** sitcom with characters partly inspired by his experiences working on said show.



This is the not necessarily bad, not clever, and not widely remembered High Society.



* Which really was a rip-off of Absolutely Fabulous, if you look at it in the cold, harsh light of day.

** Let it be known that I really honestly truly like Chuck Lorre, Two and a Half Men, and Cybill.

Meanwhile in New Zealand

...it's shootings, stabbings, and ships.

Sort of like Milwaukee, when you think about it.

It's Australia Day...or not?

Given that this might very well be my new country for a long period of time, the question of whether Australia Day should still be on January 26th is an intriguing one.

I can understand why Rudd isn't keen to really step into this quagmire.

For the lighter side of things Australian, take a gander at the BBC's Nick Bryant's chronicle of Australian tourism campaigns gone awry.

Happy (Chinese) New Year

This year is the year of the Ox.

According to Wikipedia, Ox countries include Switzerland, Finland, and Ukraine.

Since this corner of the internet is Eurosong-centric at this time of year, I would say that these countries might find some success on the scoreboard in this year's contest. However, last year was a Rat year (in more ways than one) and Rat countries include Germany, Sweden, and the Netherlands. None of whom did all that well in Belgrade.

Then again, has Ukraine managed to not make into the Final over the past 3 contests?

Saturday Jukebox Goes Eurovision 1979 style

Since this corner of the internet is now switching to Eurosong mode, it seems only appropriate for a Eurovision-themed jukebox.

Let's start with a recap of 1979, and I'll pick out 3 that stand out for me.




Now some performances in full. I have to start out with that absolute rarity, a ballad that I actually like, Je Suis L'enfant Soleil, which lyrically is pretty strong, but also greatly aided by the fact that Anne-Marie David sings it with gusto.



On the total opposite end of the spectrum is the Dutch ode to of all places, Colorado. (Damn catchy middle section though.)



Seriously, why would the Dutch sing about cheap trips to Colorado? But then, why would the Yugoslavs sing about Brasil? Deep thought of the day.

Completing the trio/quartet today is the Norwegian disco* entry Oliver, performed by Karen Carpenter-lookalike Anita Skorgan.
* Moreso on the studio version than live.

Aer Lingus, Ole'?

Welcome to bizarroland (aka the EU-US Open Skies agreement).

It's the kind of world where the Irish flag carrier can fly between Washington and Madrid, with American staff.

It will be interesting to see how this plays out...next year.

ESC 2009: Montenegro in Good Song Shocker

Montenegro apparently picked its song (or rather revealed it) today and surprisingly, it's good and not some trashy 80s rock throwback.

Trying to give Montenegro a decent shot at making the final this year is Andrea Demirovic with the song Just Get Out of My Life (yes, it's all in English), which is upbeat pop that does sound a bit like the opening to ABBA's Gimme Gimme Gimme in parts.

With strong staging and really attacking the stage (example: Shady Lady last year), Montenegro might very well make it out of the qualifier not just barely but by a country mile.

ESC 2009: The Estonian Review

All the Estonian songs are now online (unlike the Danish ones courtesy of a little intra-Scandinavian controversy...oops, naughty).

I can't quite figure out what Estonia is trying to go for. Sometimes they want to be pop, sometimes they want to be folk, sometimes they just seem to send whoever winks at the camera the best. I guess when you win so soon (this marks 8 years since Everybody won), it's more about participating than winning.

Anyway here's the contenders (courtesy of ETV's website, songs are under "Kuula laule!").

• Lowry, who was part of the unintentionally hilarious Soul Militia 2 years ago, goes solo this year has the very funky You Ain't What I Need, which is quite catchy, if not a bit derivative in the lyrics.
• Janne Saar seems to provide the answer song to Lowry's previous entry with I Am Too Good For You. It's a pleasant midtempo song with heavy Motown influences. The main problem, however, is that Janne does shriek during the chorus.
• This year is very heavy on the Estonian language entries (half of them in fact). The first one is StereoChemistry's Öösiti kõndides which is a hard driving modern rock song. Considering that Finnish rock has done well, it would be great for the Estonians to send a rock song with teeth.
• Urban Symphony goes the symphonic rock/electropop route (think Nightwish) with Rändajad. I like it on the first listen, but a lot would depend on the performance, and this year's Eesti Laul is very heavy on the avantgarde.
• Speaking of avantgarde, Chalice (male singer? band name?) has the very out-there and psychedelic Nelikümmend which is very moog-crazy and really goes nowhere. (Although it is a fun journey in parts.)
• Providing what I would call cute progressive pop (think Polyphonic Spree meets Stereolab) is Estonian electro band Köök and singer Kaire Vilgats and the song (which I'm guessing has a comedic tinge to it) Üürnik. (That's too many damn umlauts and double vowels.) Of the progressive/avantgarde songs so far, it's the best, and I would actually give it a fair shot at placing high if not winning.
• Rolf Junior takes us back to Top 40 land with Fre:dom. It's very catchy with a good bass riff. (It also sounds like a refugee from Melodifestivalen.) Strongest contender so far, but I can't for the life of me figure out what is up with the strange spelling and punctuation of the word "freedom."
• And we're back to Eesti Rock with Traffic's See Päev. It's slower than StereoChemistry's entry, but still manages to have a bit of a nice lo-fi kick behind it. Between the two, I lean more towards StereoChemistry, but I'd certainly change my position if the singer does perform the living daylights out of it, as he certainly sounds like he has a strong connection to the lyrics.
• Ithaka-Maria (one woman, not two) sings the pop/rock One Last Dance which like many songs this year is catchy and current, but unfortunately I don't think just being catchy and current will be enough to do the business this year.
• Laura (whose Sunflowers two years ago was apparently a big obsessive hit amongst some fans) returns this year with Destiny, an electropop song that is not bad, but not outstanding to my ears. The lyrics are rather dire (Vanilla Ninja set the bar really high by singing about heroin), and try to be profound but just make it sound like random English words were put in. That said, she'll probably do very well and has a very strong chance to win the lot.

Verdict: Laura or Rolf Junior for the win, K-Umlauts (Köök & Kaire Vilgats) and Lowry as dark horses.

ESC 2009: The Danish Review

The Danish Songs for MGP 2009 are up now. (You can listen to them on ESCToday).

I've always had a soft spot for Denmark, which generally conjures up happy, poppy memories particularly of their 1980s heyday.

Appropriately, the first entry Sindssyg by Johnny Deluxe sounds like an A-ha revival. The second song I'll Never Fall in Love Again is performed by Trine Jepsen who previously represented Denmark in 1999 along with sex-on-legs Michael Teschl. (Michael was confident, Trine sounded big, but looked like she wanted off that stage pronto.) This time (no pun intended) she is flying solo and sounding like she's been raiding La Ryan's back catalogue by way of Hero (Catwoman's entry last year). Musically, it's very strong, but lyrically it's a repetitive mess.

The very creatively named Sukkerchok brings us Det' det, which reminds me a bit of an electroclash version of Det lige det. Given that Denmark is a major producer of modern dance music, it is surprising that it has taken them this long to get more than one entry in. So far, this is the leader for me. The down side, if this wins and it gets translated to English, I reckon it will not do well. Alas, even in Denmark there are ballads, and this year the very formindably named Marie Carmen Koppel sings the gospel/jazz Crying Out Your Name. It's a grand effort, and it sounds like Marie knows what she's singing, but not a frontrunner for me. I could see it winning MGP and doing well in Moscow though.

Next up is Jimmy Jorgensen doing the Britpop-influenced Alice in the Wonderland (note the article), which like the story goes here, there, and everywhere without making much of a point. Yes, Jimmy, I guess the drugs were good. Jumping back to 1980s nostalgia is Jeppe Breum Larsen with Lucky Boy, which sounds like a less-cringe inducing version of S.A.G.A.P.O. I would truly love to see if he could top Rakintzis in terms of visuals.

Hera Bjork (yes, we are definitely in the Nordics, and she is Icelandic) sings Someday which sounds like somebody remixed a Faith Hill B-side. It's not bad, and I could see it winning the whole lot, but it's extremely sickly sweet in respect to lyrics. Somewhat less MOR is Claus Christensen's Big Bang Baby (which is in Danish +), an electropop song that is a bit cute, and has little chance of winning it, in my opinion.

Christina Undhjem (does her last name mean "(something) home?") brings another ballad this year with Underneath My Skin, which pales in comparison Marie Carmen Koppel's effort. The lyrics make it sound like Christina is just a big whinger with no purpose. Closing the lot out is Brinck who implores us to Believe Again which would not look out of place on a Nickelback, David Cook, or Keith Urban set list. It's not dire, but it is b.l.a.n.d.

My early prediction: Trine or Hera for the win, with Marie Carmen as a dark horse, although I will be very pleasantly surprised to see Sukkerchok get the lot.

Happy Days Are Here Again

Somehow ABC has finally seen the light and cancelled According to Jim, the last of the "fat guy, hot wife" genre of sitcoms...a show that either everybody lied about watching or seemed to exist in some ratings free vacuum that no other show did.

Sadly with good news must come some bad, which is that the Schwartz bookshops in Milwaukee are closing down, as per the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.

The Inaugaration Post

There are many places over this world wide being that will go in depth in terms of coverage and reactions on this very special day. I would rather keep my opinions and remarks brief.

Personally, I didn't think that I'd ever live to see it, and I still feel strange in terms of leaving this nation while it is on the precipice of such a momentous shift from the nation that was a scared and paranoid caterpillar to the birth of this nation as a soaring butterfly, guiding along with others through what will be a new age of understanding.

We can only hope that this spirit remains.

The Annual MLK Post

Normally--as has been the case for the past three years--I take time out to bemoan/harangue the world in how little has changed since Martin Luther King Jr.'s death.

Well, I can hardly do so this year (and yes, it is rather interesting coincidence that Obama's inauguration does follow MLK Jr. Day this year), but without a doubt things have changed.

And yet, many things remain the same.

Our President-elect is viewed by many to seemingly have superhuman powers to eradicate discrimination, poverty, and environmental damage just by being elected.

Whether that has more to do with how he was marketed to the American people or the haze of the past 8 years, but the President is not a dictator nor is he (or she) a messiah.

Here's the real scary thought: Change starts at home. It starts by being brave enough to go the extra mile and start that business or charity or just getting in the habit of reusing shopping bags.

For whatever reason, it has become expected in this nation to search for leaders to do the grunt work of what really is in our own power to make happen, and therein lies an often forgotten part of what King was trying to tell us.

All of us can do amazing things to better our world if we believe ourselves capable of doing so.

If we entrust others to do it for us, then we are bound to be dismayed.

That is why now, more than ever, it is important to not merely "believe," but to actually "do."

It all falls apart

Well, not to delve too much into the personal here at this corner of the internet, but sadly, I have to announce that I am no longer engaged. (Hence the long period in between posts this month.)

It's somewhat of a relief because at least I get to keep on the family tradition of marriage only after 30, but still it is never too easy to be the one to call things off particularly when to do so is helping someone that you love get the necessary treatment they require.

Pleasure Island isn't made for long-term living.

A New Hikaru in 2009

Shockingly this is a personal post (and mostly because the news has become too draining to comment on along with writing), but I've been doing a new exercise regime which quite frankly is kicking my butt in half the time.

Yes, those SEALs, which admittedly does fill me a degree of guilt given DADT. So to balance it out, I've been using Workout Pumping House as my soundtrack (particularly tracks 6 -13 for ultra-House camp).

There is something about being subversive that gives one that extra boost of energy.

Or is that just me?

Monday Jukebox is a Show Girl

Kumi Koda has a new song and video out called Show Girl. Perhaps it's my low brain power in the morning, but I think the video is pretty much a very sanitised version of the infamous film turkey Showgirls with Kumi doing a very PG spin of Nomi. Nonetheless, the song is extremely catchy.



To balance out this jukebox, I think it would only appropriate to accompany Show Girl with a clip from Kylie Minogue's* Showgirl tour.
* The fiancé's favourite nickname for La Minogue: The Singing Budgie



Bonus:Elfin Italian soul singer Tiziano Ferro's tribute to Italy & Spain's favourite "show girl" Raffaela Carra' Raffaela E Mia, which certainly shows that Tizzy loves his camp.

Shark Bites Man: Breaking News

This was seriously breaking news on the ABC: A shark bites a man's leg.

In fact, Australia seems to have gone shark crazy.

Yes, it's summer down there now, but still this is overkill.

Then again, the nation went into mourning when Steve Irwin pissed the wrong ray off.

Don't Mess With the Kiwis and their glaciers

Not to make light out of death, but it is rather interesting to note the difference between the New Zealand & Australian coverage of the recent deaths of two men from Australia on a glacier in New Zealand.

The New Zealand coverage: (subtext: We told you someone was going to die...again. I repeat, someone died and it's not our fault that they didn't read the signs. Tourists! Death! Not our fault!)

The Australian coverage: (subtext: Two Melburnians died.)

There's More To This Story

I don't believe for a second that the porn industry could be hurting.

The industry is set up to make the few owners rich and the workers (at least the ones who aren't savvy and know how to diversify) at or near poverty level.

It's modern day feudalism.

I think Larry Flynt is trying to make a statement here, the only question is on what.

Un Horloge Cassée...

I don't often focus on events in the Metropole, so it's no wonder that I missed this tidbit from this past August.

Now, let me go on the record and say I don't like Sarkozy and I doubt I ever will. I think he's a slightly less offensive version of Berlusconi, and his cult of personality gets France press but actually hurts their international standing.

I also believe that his motivations have less to do with "improving standards and ending the tyranny of ratings" and more with helping his media mogul friends.

That said...

I am of the belief that a public broadcaster should receive its funding from the public (and in modern France, "L'etat c'est moi" has moved from the aristocratic to the "man on the street") not from corporations, especially if it is one as comprehensive as France Televisions which has to represent a country that is pratically spread across the world and whose reputation has suffered by going commercial...at least in my opinion.

I also believe that he's right to make up the shortfall with higher media/communication taxes. It remains to be seen on whether Sarky & Co. will follow through with the Euros needed to support quality programming.

I hope he will, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Tuesday Jukebox welcomes 2009

...with something "new." Well, it's a touch new since the video has been out for several months, but to paraphrase one of the dumbest network campaigns in recent memory (of course it would be a NBC campaign): "it's new to this corner of the internet."

Sergey Lazarev doffs a slightly butcher (because supposedly scruff = butch...at least in modern media semiotics) persona in a collaboration with Russian rapper Timati/y*...that said, the man is wearing a shirt with a rainbow across it (a shout out to Mariah Carey? I thought he was in the Whitney club) and proclaiming he's a "lazerboy for life." One would argue that he's been one since birth with that surname. Either way, this is Lazerboy.

* I'm guessing those pseudonyms are influenced by watching Reservoir Dogs obsessively.



And now for something old, but good: Sheila E's Sex Cymbal. A killer song, but four things stand out for me in the video:

1. Two bare-chested men slow dancing together (kind of forward for 1991 pop)
2. Sheila E holds her own during the dance break.
3. Given the song's title and her fame as a drummer, it's interesting that she doesn't once play the drums in the video.
4. The mise-en-scene makes me think that the theme behind the video was a sly critique of Herb Ritts.

And thus began 2009

Perhaps there is something in the air, but overall, 2009 feels significantly less intense than its predecessor.

Although it is certainly easy to say that when we're only 5 days in.

That said: Macau on shaky ground, Airfares dropping, New York real estate developers struggling in finishing and selling their overpriced developments?

I like this part of the economic downturn.

Let me put on my revolutionary cap for a second.

The fact is that the world was starting to get a little too stratified, people were beginning to isolate themselves from others in a blanket called entitlement. Now virtually everyone from every socio-economic class has started to realise that no one is immune. In other words, it's the chickens coming home to roost.

It may sound rather callous and cold to sing the praises of economic hardship, but it is not the hardship that I am praising it is the fact that the hardship has caused the world to re-evaluate priorities.

Of course not all is perfect in this new world--(Angela Bassett in Notorious, TD Jakes continuing to pollute the black movie industry and ghettoize talented actors)--but give it time.

Happy New Year from Hikaruland

I want to thank everyone who has ever stopped by here whether you lingered or stayed for just a little bit.

And I wish all of you out there a happy, exciting, and pleasing 2009.

Now this is a Corporate Holiday Greeting

Happy Holidays from Air New Zealand...

I don't think you'd see any US airline or corporation for that matter be this saucy in their greetings.

Happy Holidays, Palindrome

The 1,111th post at this corner of the Internet warmly wishes you a pleasant seasonal celebration.

A holiday thought:

The New Delta: Pan Am redux? I don't think so.

The Flying Roo Stole Christmas

Boy, does Qantas have its work cut out for them, at least in terms of public relations.

Today's latest shot to the heart (or pouch, as it were) is a story in the Sydney Morning Herald which discusses how Qantas lost 750 pieces of luggage on several very important routes, including London - Sydney. 

Ouch.

Eurovision 2009: Albania - What It Is and What It Nearly Was

Albania decided their Eurovision entry, and it seems the elfin-looking but deep-voiced Kejsi Tola won with a song that looks extremely difficult for non-Albanian speakers to pronounce. 

I think there's a fair chance of that song title getting translated before Spring.

 

Just 8 points separated Kejsi and 3rd placers West Side Family who sought to give Albanian rap its due. I'll let the visual and aural tell their own story.

At the other end of the spectrum was Soni Malaj who came in 16th with Zona Zero. Now she's pretty and can hold something approaching a tune, but I think she needs to shoot her choreographer as the Trampettes are upstaging her with some unintentional comedy.

Jukebox Videos of the Year: Act 2

So we have 6 remaining, so let's strike one off the list already. The lyrics are indecipherable (and I'd be willing to bet intentionally so), the orchestration is jarring and aggressive, the driving force of the duo shares my birthday...all indications were that capsule were going to take one of the spots of Jukebox of the year, but alas JUMPER didn't make that last jump to the top.

Now onto the second recipient of the Punctured Eardrum Award. Number Two is, and quite likely will always be judged as the PEA winner against whom all winners will be placed against. He didn't get the #1 slot because Ala/en got there first, but this guy is no tortoise. People, give it up for Kosuke Atari:

A very mellow eeeeeee for Mr. Atari.

Back to the main race, and it is time to elimate another two contenders. 

Oriental Funk Stew probably had a bit of a longshot at making it to JotY status, being so newly jukeboxed, but it was a valiant effort and I'd be willing to bet that they will make many more journeys there in times to come.

Appropriately that leads to another elimination, albeit from one of the older entries. Sadly, Jason Walker--like capsule--got very close to taking the top spots too.

He will also be a frequent visitor to the Jukebox if there is any justice in the video world.

Let's see who's left:

• Frau Peters
• DOUBLE & Namie Amuro
• Die Deutscher Boyz

Will it be a Teutonic sweep of the top? Nein.

Citizens, here are the first winners of Jukebox of the Year:

(the patience while buffering will be worth it)

It is only purely coincidental that the first ever winners happen to be on non-Youtube sites. 

It is not coincidental that they also happen to be the most fierce, kick ass, and all out performances. 

Coming within the fortnight: The Year That It Was On Here 2008.

Jukebox Videos of the Year: Act 1

In true awards style wherein the big awards are held out to the very end, so shall it be with Jukebox Videos of the Year.

That being said, at least the wait won't feel like decades have passed. (In fact, come here after midnight and it'll go by in no time at all.) 

Let's get the ball rolling with an award that as already been known, The Punctured Eardrum.

Sponsored by Hothands...because just buying a simple pair of gloves is too taxing on the brain.

The first recipient is Alan/Alen Hrzica.

And I finally realised who Ala/en reminds me of: Dermot O'Leary.

Was there some secret Anglo-Irish-Croatian dalliance in the past?

And now here are two nominees who are now sadly out of the running.

From the Danish Eurovision Retrospective:

From the late lamented* Thursday Jukebox SMAPs You Upside The Head:

* (damn dead video links)

Since it is Sunday morning, I won't make any innuendo surrounding TAKE OFF...Oh hell, performing a song with a refrain that goes "TAKE OFF!" while wearing skintight suits is very Chippendales-esque in execution even if that may not have been the intention. 

That leaves 6 entries still in contention: DOUBLE & Namie Amuro do the Ho Stroll,  Dem Deutscher Boyz, the Funk Stew from Korea, capsule's precient summary of the US election results, Jason "skinny white boys can sing house music dammit" Walker, and Ingrid...Frau Peters if you're nasty.

Tune in at 4 PM today for Act 2: Still Mike Woods-free and lovin' it!

A Belated Apology or How I learned to dress for the connecting city

I was reading a thread on Airliners.net about "Most annoying passengers" and they mentioned body odour. 

Well, I should take this moment to apologise to my seatmate on the delayed 1:55 pm flight from Atlanta to Milwaukee this past Friday evening, plus anyone who came close to me at Hartsfield-Jackson.

Here's the story:

I thought that a warm wool sweater (with no undershirt) was the perfect compromise between comfort and warmth, particularly I was going from one cold city to another with only a 70 minute stopover in a warm one. Well, as most of the US & Canada found out, pretty much the entire Upper Midwest was shut down and that 70 minutes stretched out to 7 hours...7 hours in wool in 70 degrees. 

It's jackets from here on in.

Fortunately it was not as grueling as Sugarbaker sisters flying to Japan.

Jukebox Video of the Year: Special Mention

The first ever Jukebox of the Year Special Mention must go to Japanese electropop princess Aira Mitsuki's GALAXY BOY.

Apart from being very catchy (and well produced), it does have a high degree of unintentional comedy due to Aira's slight lisp. 

Listen to the first 45 seconds and see how many scatological references you pick up.*

* I'll take a wild guess and assume that this is just due to mispronunciation.

GALAXY BOY first appeared during the The Grand Super Special 1000th Post Celebration back in September.

Quick Rave: KJ Denhert

We tend to be mostly about foreign music at this corner of the internet: Korean House, Italian electro-clash, German rap, whatever shape Eurovision takes in a given year. So let's switch gears for a moment and talk about *GASP* American music and artists.

KJ Denhert describes her music as Urban Folk & Jazz, which is a fusion I have never heard before, and apparently is not one I've really come across in other artists. She sounds somewhat like a cross between Sade (a Sade that allows herself to be happy) and Swing Out Sister with lyrical oomph. 

Her latest release is a live recording from the Umbria Jazz festival, where she opened for Alicia Keys. (Controversal opinion: I personally find Denhert more accessible than Keys, not to knock Ms. Alicia, but lyrically I get Denhert's easier.) One of the strongest tracks on it is actually the opener (intro aside), I Got Time which becomes rather poignant after a rousing start. Fortunately, the album keeps the momentum going. Hearing her sing He's Not Coming Home live has a certain punch to it for me. (The song itself has strong meanings to me recently with the whole move to Australia.) 

You can buy Dal Vivo a Umbria Jazz and Lucky 7 (her latest studio album) here. (She runs her own label, so I'll do my bit to steer traffc her way.)

It's Off!

Richard Branson can rest well, BA-QF is now not happening according to the Sydney Morning Herald.

The fiance thinks that perhaps that even in its tarnished state, Flying Roo didn't want to marry beneath themselves.

December 2008 Video Log: Part 1

The sudden flurry of snow makes me delighted (and gramatically challenged for a bit) ...



And then turns me into Veruca Salt with testosterone

The Flying Roo is a Slag

First they want to take the BA relationship to the next level, now they supposedly want to get just as close to Malaysia Airlines.

The funny twist here is that Malaysia Airlines is looking like Julia Roberts in My Best Friend's Wedding because Qantas isn't saying anything.

Airlines are truly soap operas.

BAQF: Bah Humbug

So says The Australian:

JP Morgan analyst Matt Crowe said consolidation would tend to transfer pricing power from consumers to airlines.

Consumers have probably benefited from having incredibly competitive aviation markets putting in more capacity at lower prices than you would optimally do, and consolidation is a way of reversing that trend, Mr Crowe said.

So say I.

Jukebox Videos of the Year: The Contenders

I truly can't believe it's December, it's like 2008 just started, although this has been a rather rough year for me, so I'm all for 2009.

Nonetheless, as befits these year-end retrospectives, here are the eight nominees (via the jury of one) for Jukebox Videos* of the Year:

* Yes, there will be two winners. This corner of the internet likes even numbers.

1. Ingrid Peters - Africa
2. capsule - JUMPER
3. Jukebox is a Funk Stew
4. The Danish Eurovision retrospective
5. German Rap Is A Different Animal
6. DOUBLE & Namie Amuro - BLACK DIAMOND
7. SMAP Us Upside The Head
8. Loving Jason Walker

Kosuke Atari & Alan Hržica will be given the Punctured Eardrum Award for bringing the EEEEEE! out.

The two winners will be announced later this week. Feel free to edge the jury one way or the other in the comments.

Contrary to the rumours circulating out there, Mike Woods will NOT be presenting.

Sunday Jukebox is a Funk Stew

Korea's Oriental Funk Stew that is, which has the honour of being the last (official)* jukebox of the year. As the name promises, funky house is always welcome at this corner of the internet.

* The Jukebox Videos of the year nominations will be announced by the jury of one later today. Any subsequent jukeboxes are valid for 2009...so says the jury of this one.

Here's his (it's pretty much a (very strikingly handsome) one-man team with guest vocalists) latest: Deep Inside of Love



And from earlier this year: Sweet Melody

Friday Jukebox Wants Sakis Rouvas

Remember him? He shook his thing in 2004, and was the sane part of the controlled anarchy that was Eurovision 2006.

Well, apparently when not chalking up Hugh Jackman type rumours, he's been working on a new album and got the nod to represent Greece next year in Moscow.

I have to say that his stage presence--which wasn't that bad in the first place--is even better, as evidenced by this stage attacking performance earlier this year.

The Flying Roo Takes Another Hit

...and it's a well-deserved one.

Qantas & BA are fined for price-fixing cargo.

I hope they start delving into passenger fares, because fares from the US (particularly East of the Mississippi) to Australia on Qantas are absolutely extortionate, to the point that it is nearly cheaper to fly via Europe than direct.

Sydney Can't Move

This is not exactly the sort of news I want to read 6 months before I move to Sydney.

Apparently, Sydney ranks behind Mumbai & Mexico City in terms of public transport.

Not being a fan of driving--and being very pro-mass transit in general--I will say that at least based on my own observations, no metropolitan area comes truly close to New York in terms of having a really effective transit system.*

* That doesn't excuse the MTA, nor the fact that the system itself needs serious upgrading.

Yep, the Peacock's Gone Crazy

According to Nielsen, Leno is barely beating Nightline when it comes to viewers, especially the 25-54 demo.

This is the "new" Koppel-less Nightline mind you.

It's Like He Refuses To Disappear

Either brain power is in short supply at the peacock or they have a CO2 leak, because prolonging Jay Leno's stay on our screens makes no sense.

Some may argue that this might have to do with costs, but if they were really more concerned with costs than with ownership, they'd go get some international programming (c.f CBS and Flashpoint).

Tuesday Jukebox brings totty and divas

I'm currently in a medium writing period (hence the brief posts recently), but I thought it would be interesting to share some of the background music I've been using...

Wait, that's a lie--well, a partial one. I am indeed in a writing period, but quite frankly, Alan (or Alen) Hrzica's back catalogue isn't big enough (npi) to be a major component. He is, however, a nice pleasing sight during breaks, plus he tends to do uptempo songs, which is always a plus.

Alas, he's only recorded one album (which I can't find for love or money).

Sit back, bop your head, and enjoy:





Ok, Neka Te Odvede may be a ballad, but Alan gets the Kosuke Atari exemption.



We now return to sultry disco Alan, the way it should always be, dammit.



Finally: at least for Alan (sigh), here is Violine, which seems to combine the disco and ballad sides...somewhat



Now the title does say totty and divas, and ever since I stumbled across this clip some time ago, I have been trying to figure out the right post for it. I reckon this one is it. (I bow down to whoever assembled this!) I figure this is a perfect counterpoint with the Hrzica back catalogue.

Happy Holidays, Now Here's Your Pink Slip

WNBC tapes its Christmas sing-along, and then proceeds to cut staff.

Apparently tact and decorum is not part of efficiency.

Thursday Jukebox Dreams of Legends

Disclaimer: I really need to really brush up on my Japanese (a Japanese name doesn't guarantee linguistic ability...much to my chagrin).

Why do I mention that? Well, I suspect there are more things going on lyrically in this song (Dream Legend/Yume Densetsu) by Stardust Revue. Understand this song is a bit of a classic, but there is something slightly poignant and a bit tragic about a somewhat past-it prog-rock band with a somewhat past-it lead who is doing some serious vocal damage singing a song about a legendary dream (or is it a dream legend, which boggles the mind even further?).

Camp Alert for this Sunday

HBO starts rolling out its Saddam Hussein miniseries this Sunday, in the similar multipart format as John Adams.

Whereas John Adams was very dry and almost mind-numbingly mundane at times, House of Saddam is pretty much Harold Robbins meets Jackie Collins in Iraq.

Stephen Has A Strop: They're Being Mean To Me!

In a very "up is down" kind of world, this would make sense, but for some bizarre reason the Governor General (Canada) has agreed to Stephen Harper's decision to suspend parliament until January.

I like to think that Michelle is a very savvied person, but I am honestly perplexed at this decision, although I certainly believe that it is possible she knows something more than the public in regards to this.

Something is Foul in the Kingdom of Burgers

I'm not one of those creeped out by the plastic permagrinned Burger King.

I just find it daft.

I'm not disturbed by the Simon & Garfunkel knockoffs singing the praises of a [Mu]shroom & Swiss burger.

I just find it daft.

And now with its latest crop of ads, the marketing department at Burger King may have crossed the line, according to some.

I have seen one of these ads only one time, and none since. My impression of it was that was--unsurprisingly--daft.

I also have to agree with the critics, it is rather insensitive.

That said, the devil's advocate in me would point out that "dumb humour" is Burger King's current shtick. McDonald's is family friendly, Wendy's appeals to your thrifty side, and White Castle (because it already has the image of being so cheap, that it's low quality) appeals to your primal instinct.

Nonetheless, you have to wonder at what point ad execs will realise that annoyance marketing will come back and bite them on their overpaid, C student butts.

Two things worth noting:

1. Burger King's Australian operation, Hungry Jack's appears not to have taken on this new theme of ads.
   
2. My own informal survey of fast food menus shows that Burger King's menu on the whole is the most calorie laden of the lot. (I love this new law in New York City that mandates that calories be displayed prominently.)
   

This Could Be Big

British Airways is in merger talks with Qantas.

Now, Australia has similar rules to US in regards to foreign ownership, which is that Australian companies or shareholders must own the majority of shares, so just how much of a merger the two can do is rather interesting.

Plus the fact that BA is about to merge with Iberia.

'Twill be interesting to see if this goes further. Admittedly, Qantas needs some help, but is going back to the motherland the answer?

Happy Days (Might) Be Here Again

Taking the expression that united we rise and divided we fell, the Liberals, the NDP, and the Bloc are hoping to band together in a ruling coalition--if the Tories are booted out in a no-confidence vote on the 8th.

You can get the nitty-gritty (pun partly intended) from the CBC, but the real thing that makes me happy (inasmuch as a NDP supporter who can't vote and isn't a Canadian citizen can be) is that the NDP will get 25% of cabinet posts.

Extra bonus: endless potential for comedy as Not Celene Dion will be PM.

Take That, Britney

Or is it Britney Take That?

Apparently, Britney Spears & Take That have released albums with the same title (give or take an article) on the same day. 

Even with relatively close scores by the BBC's Mark Savage, I don't think the new MOR Take That and the new electropop Britney are going to have that much crossover.

Rack Off*, Twot**

The second I saw this daft fool, I figured that the schmaltz brigade would try to inflict him on an unsuspecting public.

I also doubted his altrustic motives. Quite frankly, he was in it for the money, as this article in The Sydney Morning Herald illustrates.

* "Rack off" apparently has more heft than "fuck off" in Australia.

** Another Australian slang word, substitute the "o" for an "a" for the UK version.