Crackpot Thought of the Day

"Diamonds are forever" is about lesbianism...or homosexuality in general (remember David McAlmont covered it).

(Courtesy of LyricsMansion)


Diamonds are forever
They are all I need to please me
They can stimulate and tease me
They won't leave in the night
I've no fear that they might desert me

So here we have the set up. Shirley likes diamonds. Shirley doesn't like one-night stands. Why? Well, diamonds are like an eternal orgasm.

Diamonds are forever
Hold one up and then caress it
Touch it, stroke it and undress it
I can see every part
Nothing hides in the heart to hurt me

Here we have the first instance where "diamonds" might mean more than just the shiny rock, especially when you get to the "undress it" part. Likewise, "I can see every part/Nothing hides in the heart to hurt me" could be reference to the old saying that "only a woman knows how to make love to a woman/only a man knows how to make love to a man."

I don't need love
For what good will love do me?
Diamonds never lie to me
For when love's gone
They'll luster on

Shirley ain't looking for love. She's looking for the big O. Again, who knows how to get whom off best? The plural suggests that she's not just talking about driving herself, if you know what I mean.

Diamonds are forever
Sparkling round my little finger
Unlike men, the diamonds linger
Men are mere mortals who
Are not worth going to your grave for

Shirley likes her posse of baby dykes. Not to be too lewd, but you can ascertain what act "sparkling round my little finger" alludes to. As for "men are mere mortals who are not worth going to your grave for," well, suffice to say she's spelling it w-o-m-y-n now.

Remember that scene in Diamonds are Forever with the psychopathic queens walking off into the sunset hand-in-hand?

I'm just saying...