It's Eurovision Week: 2006 Final Pre-Pre-Show

Now that we know all the finalists, here are my guesses for the Final, which will most likely be revised as the reports come in from the rehearsals.

Switzerland: IUPP will send Switzerland back to the Qualifier. People don't like cloying that much.

Moldova: Arse sends the Moldovans back to the Qualifier. I can't believe he actually believes he'll better Moldova's freak result from last year. (Yes, I'm calling it a freak result, because that song was extremely accessible.)

Israel: Eddie, come over here. I like you, really I do. However, unless you turn your ballad into a flotilla of glory notes, extreme facial expressions, and manic gestures, Israel is in the Qualifier next year.

Latvia: In the Qualifier next year.

Norway: Won't win, but Norway will be in the Final next year, most likely with an uptempo song, because that's just the way things are with Norway: ballad, uptempo, ballad, uptempo. Changing that pattern is like asking the moon to come up at 1 PM.

Spain: Won't bomb, but won't be in the top ten. Will manage the easy task of doing better than the Hags from last year.

Malta: The reports say Fabbo is crappo. Perhaps the shock of seeing Sibel, Karola, The Mullet Twink, and Lordi coalesce into a fierce block combined with Armenia doing a more aggressive version of the same type of song, will scare the Maltese into a serious overhaul. I still think this could be Malta's year (especially with La Ryan out of the running), but they will have to out-Andre Andre, and out-Mullet The Mullet Twink.

Germany: I don't know why, but everybody says this is going down well in rehearsals. I don't see it. Yet, given the reports, I can't discount it.

Denmark: Twist your way back into the Qualifier.

Russia: The Mullet Twink certainly capered his way into the Final, and Russia will be in the Final next year.

Macedonia: One day, Macedonia will win Eurovision with a song that appeals across all borders. Elenina Sky doesn't have that song. The Macedonian yo-yo continues. (Must be fun to know that you're guaranteed two times to perform.)

Romania: Coming right after Elenina Sky and right before HMH, does not help Mihai. Romania will be in the Qualifier next year. That said, expect a Romanian victory soon. Very Soon.

Bosnia & Herzegovina: Could go either way. On one hand, it's the best ballad after Norway (and I will be shocked to see if Ireland beat them out on points) . On the other hand, La Vissi has supposedly been saving all of her tricks and strength for Saturday and is only two comedy numbers away.

Lithuania: Won't win. Might very well bomb. Also The Reservoir Dogs are positioned right before a better comedy number.

United Kingdom: Won't win, but will give the UK its best result since 2002 (granted, that's not hard to do). If the BBC are watching (or perhaps I should say if they aren't watching, so as not to jinx it), the UK will win or get very close 2nd next year, since that will mark 10 years since the last British win.

Greece: Ok, forgive me Greeks, but La Vissi isn't going to make it two Greek wins in a row. Listen, I'm as shocked as all of you, but this just doesn't strike me as a ballad year. On the other hand, Greece is probably in the final for years to come. Greece is probably the new Sweden.

Finland: I don't know if I'm all that certain of a Finnish win. I think that Finland will be in the final next year, and I think Lordi will break the top ten, but if Sibel and even Karola came across as more powerful and engaging than metal schlager band...Well, you have to wonder.

Ukraine: Then again, Karola might've only come across as more powerful than Lordi because she preceded it in the Qualifier. Dancing cossacks jumping rope and an Athena dress might come across as too syrupy sweet after a "metal" band dressed like creatures from a Tolkien novel. Could go either way.

France: Coming after Lordi will definitely help Virginie. She won't win, nor come close. The French delagation even admitted such earlier this week. If France picks a really engaging performer (even--shock--a name), then they'll win. It's only a matter of time.

Croatia: I'm hoping that Seve saw Sibel and thought "bring it on." Since the reports on Seve are few and far between, I'm hoping that this means Croatia is truly a dark horse to win the lot. Nothing would make me lose my ever-loving mind (in a good way) then seeing Seve and Sibel duke it out for the win. Either way, Croatia is in the Final next year.

Ireland: La Vissi will chew him up and spit Ireland into next year's Qualifier.

Sweden: Now this is another tough call. I really want to see the results of the voting, because I suspect that Sweden did not make it through easily. I think it'll be a hard fight for Carola to reach the top 5, and since this is a rather intense year, I think Sweden is in danger of being in next year's Qualifier. If it weren't, then Carola would be easily screeching her way into the top 5. Coming right before Sibel is not doing her any favours whatsoever.

Turkey: Sibel or Seve for the win. If I was TRT, I'd be quaking in my boots about the possiblity of hosting again. The chances are very high this year that the winning entry will consist of a female soloist with all male backing performers, which means either Germany, Croatia, or Turkey.

Armenia: Well, I was surprised he made it into the Final with that shambolic performance. I'll be doubly surprised if he manages to keep Armenia in the Final next year.

So to summarise:

Probable Top 5 (in no particular order)

• Croatia
• Turkey
• Germany
• Finland
• Greece

Joining them in the Top 10

• Russia
• United Kingdom
• Malta (if they don't serious overhaul, if they do then Germany or Finland takes this spot)
• Norway
• Bosnia & Herzegovina