Tuesday, May 16, 2006

It's Eurovision Week: The Glossary

What's that sound all the way over in Greece?

It's the sound of various performers and Eurovision fans descending upon the fair city of Athens for 7+ hours of music, mayhem, and camp.

Despite not being certain if TVE Internacional is carrying Eurovision this year (and they'd better--I can justify paying for QTN, but TVE-I will be vetted intensely if they don't), I'll be doing reviews/recaps of both the Qualifier and the Final Round as I did last year.

In order to avoid carpal tunnel (and for amusement purposes...okay mostly for amusement purposes), I'm going to be employing nicknames whenever possible. Here's a list.

The Qualifier
  • Andre: The Unibrower (Why oh why did Armenian TV not go for the Cher & Colton Ford combination?)
  • Anžej Dežan: Jazz Hands (Project Runway is over, so the whole "Slo-Nick" nickname holds little water now.)
  • Polina Smolova: Po (If she's being lazy by shortening a song called "Mama" to "Ma," then I can do the same to her name...plus it's ironic gold, given the farce that are national finals in Belarus)
  • Luiz Ejlli: The Twink (Need I explain why?)
  • Kate Ryan: La Ryan (for camp value)
  • Séverine Ferrer: Séverine (échoué) (Ah hell, I'll just call her Séverine.)
  • Elena Risteska: Elenina Sky (If you've listened to "Move Ya Body" you know why.)
  • Ich Troje: Punch Bowl Hair and The Princesses (Well that's what they look like!)
  • Dima Bilan: The Mullet Twink (I'm not in any way shape or form trendy, but for pete's sake! Cut it off!)
  • Sandra: Carola Jr.
  • Hari Mata Hari: HMH (I was going to go for Hary Myler Hore, but he's a good egg.)

The Final

  • Six4One: The International Union of Pretty Popsters or IUPP (I really have to give credit to the crew at OnEurope for this one.)
  • Arsenium: Arse (It works on so many levels.)
  • Fabrizio Faniello: A Twink Called Fab or just Fabbo.
  • Anna Vissi: La Vissi (I wouldn't dare call her anything else.)
  • Severina: Seve, aka Severina from the block

4 comments:

Waddie G. said...

only if American Idol could be as good as far as quality, I think that non-viewers and viewers alike can take the show more seriously...I enjoyed the videos from the TV you have posted...they should hire you to be their PR

Adrian said...

Do you have a name for Texas Lightning? I think I'm supporting a German win this year. That or Slovenia. And Germany's more likely!

Hikaru said...

The Teutonic Twang?

I'm holding out hope for Croatia myself.

Piglet said...

Croatia!!!! Wooohooo! :)

Sorry...
"Arse" indeed works on so many many levels :)