Primarily because I'm still not 100% recovered from my cough/cold/fever ailment and that there's basically only a few countries left to choose, here's an update on the Eurovision 2005 Body Count in Kiev. I'm only listening to 90 seconds of each song (which, I reckon, is about the amount of time for a person to either like it or hate it).
Trying to break-out: The Semi-Final
Andorra: Marian Van de Wal - La Mirada Interior
Marian looks a lot like Alenka Godec (Slovenian soul singer who did several high-caliber EMA performances). Her song, however, is quite the polar opposite. It's all mystical and such (helped partly by all the arching kung-fu positions that Marian gets into), but it's just really adequate. Nothing too spectacular, nor terribly alluring. Smoke and mirrors.
Austria: Global Kryner - Y Asi
Oh boy this is something else. I have to preface this for international readers by saying that where I come from [Milwaukee] is really known for polka music and this is the sort of song you hear all the time at both the county and state fairs. It's cute and quirky, which considering that the one of the other mixtures of Latin and Polka is Tejano music from the US-Mexico border, is pretty pleasant to the ear. Lyrically, it's delightfully witty. ("A girl from Cuba came to Austria, and saw that Austrians danced so strange.")
Belarus: Angelica Agurbash - Boys & Girls
Anna Oxa's Belarussian twin! It's a shame that we don't know whether this or another song will go to Kiev. Angelica performs this song screeching, but like Anna Oxa, she makes it work musically for dramatic effect. And her outfit makes her look like she just stepped off some horrible 1970's sci-fi movie. Lyrically, however, this is so corny (well-intentioned, but still corny) that I have to laugh at some points. ("Boys & girls you bring meaning to my life?" Why not just say "children?") One good thing though, you can understand Angelica's pronunciation inherently better than Alexandra's last year.
Bulgaria: Caffe - Lorrain
Bland jazz-pop with abysmal lyrics. They're singing in English, yet I still have no idea why we should care about "Lorrain in the rain." (Speaking of which, why is Lorrain spelled that way instead of "Lorraine?")
Croatia: Boris Novkovic featuring Lado Members - Vukovi Umiru Sami
Boris is unbelievably pale. Has this man ever seen the sun? Anyway, Boris and three women in short skirts and gold coin necklaces drone on about wolves while some man plays a bagpipe and another man (who looks like he's tattooed all over) beats the living daylights out of a huge set of drums. I can take or leave folk music, and this is the type I leave FAR AWAY.
Denmark: Jakob Sveistrup - Tænder På Dig
This still sounds like some cast-off from a Disney film. It's cute, but cute in the annoying way. Jakob capering about doesn't make it anymore interesting.
Estonia: Suntribe - Let's Get Loud
These girls are so out of their league. If they performed this with more precision in the choreography and actually tried to harmonise together, then it might cover up the fact that these are some atrocious (not "Las Vegas" atrocious, but pretty dire) lyrics. The Swiss have the better Estonian entry this year.
Finland: Geir Ronning - Why?
Why did I lose 90 seconds of my life listening to this? Why did the Finns choose this horrid ballad? Why do people even write ballads if they aren't going to use it to express complex emotions?
Hungary: NOX - Forogj Világ
This sort of pop/rock folk I like. It's got a beat and nice helpings of guitar. No problems here whatsoever.
Ireland: Donna & Joseph McCaul - Love?
Well colour me surprised that this is the Irish entry. Donna looks like Kelly Osbourne (sings a bit like her too, which is not necessarily a bad thing with this song). Joseph looks like Clay Aiken but less masculine (that is not a compliment). Despite some occasionally cliche lyrics (unless the writer was going for the idea that love makes you bipolar), this is kind of catchy. I like it, but if these kids want to get out the semi, they had better step up the performance to a notch above "nervously confident."
Israel: Shiri Maymon - Hasheket Shenish'ar
I came into this song not expecting to like it: a) because it's a ballad; b) because the Israeli ballads have been relatively dire since Rita in 1990. (By the way, people, that is what a ballad should be, a cartharsis.) After listening to it, I have to say it's kind of charming. Not great, not interesting, just charming. A touch above indifferent in my book.
Latvia: Walter & Kazha - The War Is Not Over
Unfortunately you have 90 more seconds to bore senselessly as you remind us of this fact. As much as I hate ballads, I hate squeaky-voiced young men who play acoustic guitar even more. Horrid lyrics ("someone is loser, someone is winner") and frankly Walter and Kazha look like they are in desperate need of a flea bath. Anyone who votes for this needs their head examined, because clearly their brains are in disarray.
Lebanon: Aline Lahoud - Quand Tout S'enfuit
Ironically see Israel for my reaction to this as this song left me the same way. I don't quite see why many fans seem to be in love with this song. (Of course you have the Eurovision fan stereotype of a shut-in that likes to escape into a dreamy, romantic world, because the real world is so icky.) The percussion is nice, though I can't say I'm that enthralled by the lyrics.
Lithuania: Laura & The Lovers - Little By Little
That's a lot of alliteration there, isn't it? "Little By Little" sounds like a b-side from a Texas single. Like many of the songs that proceeded it, it's cute and bouncy, but nothing special.
Macedonia: Martin Vucic - Ti Si Son
Balkan cumbia! How else can you describe this? A stocky and sturdy man (geez Martin, you've had a rough life considering you're only a few years younger than me) sings while a bunch of women barely clad in silver shake what their mothers gave them. The overall effect is weird but catchy.
Moldova: Zdob Si Zdub - Bunica Bate Toba
And from Balkan cumbia we go to the much more logical combo of Balkan ska/rock. This song is still good, perhaps even better than when I previously heard it. It's quite remarkable that the singer can switch between Moldovan and English flawlessly. I love the wacky lyrics as well ("that big bad mama plays those drums").
Monaco: Lise Darly - Tout de Moi
From the excerpt I heard, this sounds like this will fall into the Israel and Lebanon category. Geez, doesn't anyone try to write a serious emotional ballad? You people can't all be that shallow.
Netherlands: Glennis Grace - My Impossible Dream
If we're going to be flush with ballads this year, then at least this is one of the better ones. (That is not saying much.) Glennis does indeed perform the living daylights out of it, and I do like the lyric "the gauntlet has been thrown." Still, I lump it with Israel, Lebanon, and Monaco.
Norway: Wig Wam - In My Dreams
Brilliant musically (lyrically, it's nothing special, but certainly not off-putting). Visually, it's Quiet Riot lives (spandex pants, big hair, YMCA mustaches). Wig Wam are so unbelievably camp and dated that being out-of-sync with the year 2005 works in their favour. I love this entry.
Poland: Ivan & Delfin - Czarna Dziewczyna
Fast-paced folk about a dark haired woman (apparently...I don't speak Polish). Another one that's cute, but not that interesting.
Romania: Luminita Anghel & Sistem - Let Me Try
This is a couple steps up from cute, but not interesting to cute and quite stunning visually. Luminita capers about in capri pants while Romania's five-piece answer to Safri Duo beat the living daylights out of trash cans (some of which are subsequently set alight). Again, we've got bland lyrics. (I am just resigned this is a year where the singers could do no better nor worse if they were reading stereo instructions. I just wish some of these lyricists would take some time to really analyse English pop songs before they decide to emulate them.)
Slovenia: Omar Naber - Stop
I wish he would. I hate to sound petulant, but the only way I can describe this is just that it sucks. Supremely. (Better than "Why" though.)
Switzerland: Vanilla Ninja - Cool Vibes
Hallelujah! A great entry. Sheer bliss, in my opinion. I'm all for symphonic rock ballads, even moreso if they have a fatalistic tone to them. ("Cool Vibes, why don't you kill me? Cool vibes, why don't you thrill me?") The girls of Vanilla Ninja look ten times more competent than fellow Estonians Suntribe. If this wins, I will be an extremely happy person. (Attention all you sad old ballad writers: This is how it is done with pathos and complex drama woven into both the lyrics and music. Life and death are inherently more interesting than hearing about some sad sack you're infatuated with.)
So here's how all the entries so far fall into place in my head:
Royalty:
1. Switzerland
2. Norway
3. Moldova
Entourage:
4. Hungary
5. Macedonia
6. Ireland
7. Romania
8. Austria
Petty bourgeois:
9. Netherlands
10. Israel
10. Lebanon
10. Monaco
13. Belarus*
14. Lithuania
15. Andorra
16. Estonia
*= If "Boys & Girls" is the song
Just piss off, commoner:
17. Denmark
18. Poland
19. Bulgaria
20. Croatia
21. Slovenia
22. Finland
23. Latvia
No comments:
Post a Comment