The Hikaruland Eurovision 2008 Preview Reviews: Day 2

Eurovision.tv is getting high-tech, so here is the player:

Eurovision Song Contest - Belgrade 2008 Preview Player

And now onto D-H

• Denmark: More vintage. Simon seems to think that he is George Michael circa Faith. He gets a shave, smiles at a pretty girl, and then becomes a policeman singing in front of 40s-50s era cars. I've been to Copenhagen at night, it's a little more lively than Mr. Matthew's video suggests.
• Estonia: Eurolaul performance (I think). A bunch of bikini-clad women swing Estonian flags while three overweight men "sing" and bounce to the beat of a song which seems to be Serbian, but could very well be a combination of that and drunken Estonian. (One would have to be half in the bag to make those two sound alike.) Bikini woman holds up a sign of a cake or a pie. I should also mention that the Baltic Bears are dressed in the Estonian national colours, which is making some very bizarre national statement or just aiming for comedy of the bizarre (and failing, albeit not horrendously so).
• Finland: Euroviisut performance: I've seen the actual video and it's got more oomph than its Eurosong counterpart. First disclaimer: I actually like this song, it's campy without the daftness of Lordi. Second disclaimer: The lads aren't that bad looking to the eyes (in that funfair-operator-who-you'd-do-when-you're-drunk-on-cheap-beer way).  They had better keep this in Finnish, because it would lose its "what exactly are they screaming about" appeal.
• France: Inspired by Xanadu or any of the assorted musicals from the late 1970s-early 1980s which tried to bring New Wave to the masses? Man plays organ while 2 pale white feminine beings (gender ambiguous on my screen) "sing" "bop-bop-doo-wop." M. Tellier turns around and for a second I think "Frank Zappa isn't really dead. He's just gone into hiding as a Frenchman." And then it gets trippy: microphones being tossed as Francois Zappa goes from soundstage to street to beach to car. By the way, M. Tellier and/or the director pays attention to detail when it comes to film stock, which really makes this video look as if it was some recently rediscovered New Wave song from 1980. Brilliant. 
• (FYR) Macedonia: National final performance, because they are singing in Macedonian (although it will be in garbled English in Belgrade). More Macedonian reggaeton, which, let's be honest here has gotten them for better (2006) or worse (2005) to the final. Of course, this year they can't totally rely on friendly votes due to the new 2 qualifier system. Anyway, Adrian & Mr. String of Consonants (MSoC) caper about dressed like newspaper boys (is Europe going through some sort of 1930s-50s nostalgia right now? It would seem like that would be an era not all that fondly remembered especially in Europe) while Tamara does her best Elena Risteska impersonation--minus the booty shaking. Next!
• Georgia: Camels, deserts, enigmatic looking children of all shades. If the title didn't indicate it already, this is a song that will either: a) shame us all for being self-centered while the world goes A over T, b) string a bunch of greeting card phrases together like a fundraising campaign mailer, or c) both. It's C here. For added guilt factor, it's being sung by a blind woman. Diana sports glasses so big and dark that you wonder if she's not actually blind as much as blinded. Musically, the song is actually quite good. Lyrically, it's a piece of maudlin exploitative crap, which to be honest with you, I'm already had my fill of as 2008 is a US national election year.
• Germany: No Angels (aka Wilde Orchidee, if that is the correct German translation) at Countdown Grand Prix. Yes, these girls are some of Germany's biggest stars. Yes, the song is very Top 20 friendly. Yes, it's also not bad, even quite catchy. All that said, those are some ropey vocals and some trashy dresses. I am no fashionista by any stretch of the imagination, but I know this much: sometimes the more you wear, the more hooker-like you look, and those girls look like they'll "love you long time" for 10 euros.  It's EuroVision, frauleins!
• Greece: Speaking of looking trashy, New York's own Kalomira is representing Greece. Since the Macedonians are not shaking their booty this year, the Greeks have taken over that responsibility. Kalo doesn't so much sing this song inasmuch as exhale it through her nose. Her singing voice is just too nasal and threatening to annoy the daylights out of anyone who tries to make it through the entire 3 minutes. (FYI: I actually like the song, just not her singing style!) As for the video, it seems to be a very blatant cross/knockoff of Beyonce's Green Light (itself a knockoff of those old Robert Palmer videos) and anyone of New Order's videos from the late 1980s. Kalo's certainly got the hooker wear in tow and the lyrics seems to imply that she's going to sleep with anyone who has her "$ecret Combination," even if she herself doesn't know her own price or that she's even on sale. Ponder that.
• Hungary: Given Hungary's status as Europe's capitol of porn, it is a pleasant surprise that Csezy isn't going for the streetwalker look. In fact, she's gone all Japanese for the first part, and then--you guessed it--1930s glamour. The song (which really should be sped up, because otherwise it sounds a decade or two too late for 2008) is nothing to write home about, but the video is actually quite striking without being obvious about it. That said, what is the significance of the Doberman running?

Top 3 videos for this round, in my view:

1. France
2. Hungary
3. Georgia 

There is a HUGE ocean-sized gap between #2 and #3, by the way.

And to think, I haven't even begun to hit the controversial entries (Ireland and Spain) yet.

The Hikaruland ESC 2008 Preview Reviews

This time via webcam.

Albania to Cyprus. The Czechs will have to wait since Eurovision.tv seemed to not want to play the video.

(The hat is on because I had the window open for some fresh air.)

Hikaruland Eurovision 2008 Previews Part One

Hikaruland Eurovision 2008 Previews Part Two

Update: I've seen the Czech entry, which basically is the national final performance: Tereza capers about in short dress while dancers shimmy and a bunch of gruff looking men play backup. Very by-the-numbers, and not all that distinctive.

Pick Which Horrifies You The Most

A) Al Roker has 20 shows in the development.

Or

B) The content of those 20 shows in development by Al Roker.

The cutest advocates for fair elections you've ever seen

Korea's (Republic) Wonder Girls star in an advert for the upcoming assembly elections in Korea.




I gather the girls are suggesting that voters make up their own mind as opposed to being persuaded by outside forces.

If that's the point of the ad, then I hope the Wonder Girls are aware of the irony of them making that statement.

An Absolutely Fascinating Theory

The iron law of oligarchy.

The question is this: Has it already arrived in the US or how soon will it?

I think avoidance is off the table.

Happy Ending?

It's no secret that I liked Spitzer, particularly his policies and "screw you" attitude, and that it's rather sad to see his career end like it did, but I have to admit that thinking about a Patterson administration brings a little tear of happiness to my eye.

Good luck, Governor.

Eurovision 2008: Catwoman for Sweden

No, not Jocelyn Wildenstein, but Charlotte Perelli (ex-Nilsson) won that MF-ing thing over the weekend. (I'm sorry, but the pun was too tempting.) Hero is not that bad of a song, but while it's better than the bland ABBA knock-off that she won Eurovision [almost a decade ago] with, it's no Never Let It Go nor It Hurts (even if Catwoman is busy trying to emulate Lena Ph). Catwoman is also pretty off-key.

Eurovision 2008: Oh, Portugal

Well, the best song won. Not necessarily my own personal choice, but at least the most voter-friendly song (which by the way was written--at least in part--by a non-Portuguese).

Here is the recap.



Personally, I was pulling for Ricardo Soler (although he could show at least show some emotion.)

Eurovision 2008: We Like San Marino

We really like San Marino. Why? After all that was said and done--internally--they chose Miodio to be their debut representatives.

I'm a big Velvet fan.

I'm an even bigger Subsonica fan.

And yes, I do also like Bluvertigo (although not so much Morgan's solo work).

So Italian electroclash goes down very well with me.

Further Proof That Our Puritan Heritage Is Still With Us

Without a doubt, Eliot messed up, particularly as these prostitute purchases occurred while he was an elected official sworn to uphold the law.

That said, for the love of god, you'd think he'd was eating live babies and videotaping it judging by the media reaction. Clearly this is a sign that the man is not well-liked, but who elects politicians who are nice people? (Pay attention to that last phrase if you live in a state that has yet to vote in its primary.) As I see it, the man had a great agenda (and hopefully the LG will continue it) that is now ground to a halt.

The funny thing is this, we all have tire tracks on our backside, so are these militant "HE MUST GO NOW" people trying to cover up their own pecadillos? Hard to say.

Eurovision 2008: Up Yours, Dimaland

Dima Bilan won the Russian selection over the weekend (27 songs!), but in all honesty it should have gone to Sergey Lazarev (or has Jeff Timmons decided to reveal his heretofore unknown fluency in Russian?).




And for further proof look at this.

Eurovision 2008: Go Go Aleksa

If I ran Beovizija, Beli Jablan* would already be declared the winner. Quite interesting how Aleksa damn near flings and shakes himself all over the place and Ana just sort of sits there and throws sultry looks.



*Beli Jablan translates--I believe--as "white poplar." I'm assuming this is a metaphor which is lost on those of us who do not speak fluent Serbian. That said, I don't think "Guuurl, you are F.I.E.R.C.E" is the meaning.



Update: Aleksa & Ana came 2nd--as expected--to some torchy ballad written by this year's co-host. Rules? Fairplay? Not in Beovizija, the only national final that has featured riots. Anyway: Jelena will sing her thing, the angst queens will get their cry about their lonely lives in, and Serbia will place somewhere in the mid Top 10.

I Like You Eliot, but...

You're "involved" in a prostitute ring?

Is this a McGreevey mark II thing?

Eurovision 2008: Do Warren Beatty & Dustin Hoffman still talk about THAT film?

When I say Ishtar, you say...



The chances of Antwerp 2009 grow dimmer by the second. That said, the Belgians (Walloon division) sent Sanomi, that yckiejnrpnei song that made it to 2nd in 2003 (beating even tATu at the height of their fame/hype). Not that this is even in the same league.

Did that film get a Belgian release?

Eurovision 2008: Accentuate the Positive

Zapatero & The Socialists won!!!!

(And the Spanish public chose a really piss-poor joke entry to represent them in Belgrade.)

Did I mention that Zapatero won?

Eurovision 2008: Swing and a miss

Let's say you're Montenegro.

You just finished a semi-amicable split from former partner/parent (how Freudian!) Serbia.

Serbia won last year's Eurovision and is now hosting this year's festivities.

You didn't make it out of last year's qualifier.

So now, one would say, is the time to put on your best outfit and proceed to show the world (and your ex) just how well you are doing without them.

May I ask then, why you thought this was that song?

Eurovision 2008: Timbaland Continues His World Domination

Perhaps it's the money.

Perhaps it's the bragging rights.

Perhaps it's the challenge.

Timbaland is producing Dima Bilan's song for this year's Russian National Final.

Okay, it's definitely the money then.

Eurovision 2008: Sexpot Alert

San Marino is sending Massimo Bertacci, who quite frankly makes me think joyously lewd thoughts.

Unsurprisingly, he's singing a ballad.

Surprisingly, it's good.

Update (3/6): According to ESCtoday: Mr. Sex on legs is apparently only one of several entrants being considered to represent San Marino.

If I Ran The UK Preselection for Eurovision

Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy with the selection of Andy Abraham (and I would've voted for him, if I could), but when you think about it, why hasn't the UK ever sent an entry like Mercedes Club?*




*Finalist for the 2008 Icelandic preselection.

Ms. Amuro Finally Gets It Right

The final part of the Namie Amuro/Vidal Sassoon 60s70s80s trilogy has been released. It's What A Feeling, but it barely sounds like Flashdance apart from the chorus. Not to mention, I don't know who would want to revive 80s hair, but I'm also not in the hair care business, nor do I have an inkling as to what Japanese hair trends in the 80s were. (If the anime at the time is any inkling, the hair was BIG.)

That said, of all the videos, this is the one that seems to--no pun intended--hit all the right notes.

amuro namie "WHAT A FEELING"
Uploaded by GO-GO-STALIN

Now, This Is Radical

Jason Barlett is one of only six out black elected officials in the nation....although he's a recent closet-dropper...publicly, according to Gay City News.

The kicker? He's from Connecticut, and representing a district that is 96% white.

Oh, The Irony

The head of Russia's Electoral Commission admits media bias in the election coverage, according to BBC News.

Meanwhile, in the US, we're still waiting.

Wednesday Jukebox Loves Enka

Kiyoshi Hikawa has his appeal, but he's no match--in my opinion--for Jero, Japan's first black enka singer.

umiyuki - jero
Uploaded by satsukidabesa

The video is a bit too cute in contrasting urban style with enka singing, but Jero definitely has got an amazing voice and it definitely doesn't hurt that he is hot as hell.

It Sounds Admirable, but...

Two organisations are trying to increase the amount of gay black politicians, according to 365gay.

I'm all for it, although I think they have their work cut out for them. It certainly would be an improvement on the current situation. Just no Traynhams or Capeharts, please.

Monday Jukebox Goes Euro(Vision) as well

Ukraine goes disco again...this time with a woman. Now this is an entry which attacks the stage, and you know that is always welcome with me!

2008 Ukraine - Ani Lorak - "Shady Lady"
Uploaded by Galiza

Ani Lorak's winning song is another Kirkorov production (he of Not Dima Bilan fame and de facto drag queen), but I have no trouble looking past that.

Sunday Jukebox Goes Euro(vision)

Do not adjust your computer, this is the Irish entry for this year...I kind of like it.

Wednesday Jukebox Just Won't Let It Go

The camptastic music video for Afro-Dite's Never Let It Go




And the 2002 performance at Eurovision



Can MF 2008 top that? I don't think so.

There is No There There

So, I'm looking at his LGBT proposals and his African American appeal, and I feel nothing.

I feel no transformative experience.

I still see the man who will not and has not apologised for allying himself publicly with McClurkin.

I still see the man who tries to convince people that guilt can be taken away by a tick in the voting booth.

I still see a man that expects me to vote for him on the basis of shared pigmentation.

There is something missing, and all I see is a sepia McGovern at the moment.

I Thought We Answered The Exit Polls Question

2% reporting, polls shut for only 27 minutes and they're making calls?

Update: Obama appears to have won Ozaukee County.

Based on my many years living here, this was definitely not a vote for him as a candidate, but a vote for who they feel McCain can slaughter in November (open primary, remember), because the residents here do not believe in "change."

Meanwhile in Mequon...

I did my civic duty...

It's Not Like It Was Unexpected

But still, the news is a bit of a surprise...

In The Land of Milk and Primaries

That certain media darling is running ads nonstop here. He's been calling my house sounding like a Jehovah's Witness too.

And every time I hear his voice or see those ads this is the image I get in my head.



In case you're curious about the translation, Miyachannel has it...even more saccharine.

It will be quite awhile before I can start listening to DBSK again.

Sunday Jukebox: Smoking, Sensuality, and Violence

I could go all arty and analytical and try to explain why this is a particularly amazing movie sequence, but in all honesty, I'll let it do the talking, gyrating, and menacing looks.



For more information on Omkara, here's the Wikipedia page, and I recommend Fantasies of a Bollywood Love Thief by Stephen Alter.

I Still Feel Funny About South Africa

...in terms of acceptance.

This story (courtesy of Rod 2.0) only adds fuel to those thoughts.

From the "Sometimes The Obvious Needs To Be Restated" Department

Bigotry is hard to get rid of beyond the surface level.

How terribly mind-blowing, although I shouldn't really be that flip about it.

Yet, in all honesty, is this really that shocking to those of us outside the demographic majority?

Here's REAL Progress and Change

The writers voted to officially end the strike.

For Those Interested...

Here is the AP's guess on how post-strike TV will get back on track.

My view: Extend the season until June, and begin production for 08-09 in August.

No More Happy Endings

Let me tell you a secret: I rarely cry.

Not so much that I'm devoid of a heart, but it's just that it is easy to see clear manipulation when you've studied writing and media theory for several years.

But it's the good and skilled writing that looks past those cliches (or at least manipulates the cliches themselves) to create something that is powerful and moving.

Here are some examples:

Torchwood: I like the occasional sci-fi, but I wouldn't say that it's a stalwart in my favourite genres. That said, this past Saturday's episode hit me hard. Although this is a common trait in UK and foreign television in general, it is very rare that Americans are exposed to endings that aren't happy, or at least happy with a bow wrapped on it. The Unit nearly went there this current season with the death of Hector (Demore Barnes) , but The Unit got their revenge and now Charles (Michael Irby, but I can't remember when they ever gave his character's name) is going to walk off towards a happy ending with Hector's girlfriend. Contrast that with the Pyrrhic victory in "To The Last Man", even if Tommy somehow comes back, it's hard to change the underlying tone that every single member of Torchwood is--for lack of a better term--fucked by their fate. A tone which Davies--as creator, and one must assume a relatively involved one, since this is UK television--has woven since the very first episode.

Orange Road: I Want To Return To That Day (aka the first movie) : Here's an interesting concept, going into the movie, the creators knew that the audience (at least the fans) had the ending figured out: Kyosuke breaks up with Hikaru. So the skill comes from how this transpires...and it is brutal. The eager-to-please Kyosuke has to act like a prick, and not just callous, but full-on, I-Don't-Care-About-Your-Feelings cold, and it makes you rethink everything that you read in the manga, saw on the TV show, and I just felt like I lost a bit of innocence. The scary thing is that is exactly the point of the film. (We just won't talk about how this brilliant ending is totally negated by the movie sequel.)

The last two episodes of Evangelion: I've already applauded Evangelion in terms of writing, but now I want to zoom in on the emotional impact of its final two episodes. Basically here you have a character in the throes of what appears to be an emotional meltdown (I'm not going to even begin to describe The Human Instrumentality Project save for calling it "everybody becomes one big gumbo") as he questions himself and his relationships. Quite honestly, The End of Evangelion confuses it more, but in the TV ending, we get the emotional connection as it is presented not in terms of what is literally happens, but what it feels like to Shinji, and for the vast majority of us who felt inadequate as preteens and teenagers it cut like a knife, even though it seems like the TV ending is relatively happy ("I Love Myself Unconditionally"), the real cruel fact is this: Just as Shinji comes to this realisation, he becomes nothing at all. (By the way, Evangelion episode 24 is highly recommended too.)

If indeed the strike is over, then those who are writing should take this as a chance to re-examine themselves and their relationship to their work. I'm a believer that all stories have already been told, but they have not been told from all perspectives. There is nothing truly ground-breaking in any of these examples at their core, but what makes them noteworthy in my mind is their presentation.

Trust that the public/network can weather the occasional sad ending if it is believable. We owe you that much.

With Supporters Like This...

...who needs enemies

The Shepard Fairey poster in support of Barack Obama:

And a classic (read: propaganda) poster of Josef Stalin:

In the land of Angels: They Paved Tomorrowland and put up God Knows What

No PeopleMover.

No Carousel of Progress. (Although I'm surprised that the Carousel got turfed in 1974 for "America Sings." I barely recall that, so I must remember the Disney World Carousel as opposed to the Disneyland one.)

No Adventure Through Inner Space.

Just blech.

Surprisingly few sponsors though, although the rides feel considerably shorter than ever.

Yet it was my birthday and I was in Los Angeles, so really: there was no choice but to go to Disneyland.

Of the rides I did go on, I have to admit I still feel a little bit uncomfortable on Splash Mountain...and if you are or have parents/relatives of a certain age, you can understand why. I'm not at all referring to the drop itself, but the ending with the Showboat? I thought it veered dangerously into insensitivity (but quite honestly, the second they built a ride based on Song of The South, Disney knew they weren't dealing with the most controversy-free property in the Disney "vault.")

And then there's The California Adventure, which is nice and all, but if I wanted to see the Santa Monica pier, I'd go to Santa Monica.

And what is Whoopi Goldberg doing as Queen of California?

Then again, maybe I'm just getting old...er.

(By the way, thanks to Yesterland for the links)

In the land of Angels: Wither Good Day LA

Straight People Are Just Not That Fun To Watch In the AM

When I moved to New York and started watching Good Day New York, I actually thought it was a well-meaning but somewhat anemic version of Good Day LA: You had the elderly anchorman (Jim Ryan, who always made me think of the expressway in Chicago), the straight-talking anchorwoman (believe it or not Lyn Brown filled this slot), and the wacky weather person (Dave Price, who I reckon is probably doing some bland version of the same schtick on whatever CBS's morning show is called now). Well, that team has long since left and even though the ratings are not excellent, the new gay-infused formula certainly is an improvement.

Good Day LA hasn't changed its formula and in my view the show is now s.t.a.l.e.

Jillian Reynolds continues to do everything but her actual job of meterologist and be impressed with herself. Today, she is busy trying to make us envious of the fact that she went to the Super Bowl and took a lot of photos with FOX celebrities and went to a slew of parties. (I don't know how we can be that impressed since they keep on running the EXACT SAME PACKAGE, twice every half-hour.) She's not even doing the weather today, yet she's on the show. Even Al Roker when he goes on one of his junkets does the forecast.

Steve Edwards just looks tired with it all.

Dorothy Lucey is practically a non-entity. This may very well not be her fault, since she is for some bizarre reason covering the snow out in the mountains. (She just happens to have a crew with her?) The woman does gossip, she needs to be talking to Harvey Levin about Britney Spears not urging us to postpone that trip to Palm Springs.

The only one who seems to maintain the right balance is Tony McEwing, who is the clear heir apparent. Poor Tony however is out somewhere in the Valley doing makeovers with Jose Eber.

And they do this from 7 to 10 every weekday?

Steve Kmetko is based in Los Angeles...I'm just saying.

In the land of Angels: Day 1

Through sheer optimism and curiosity, I find myself in Los Angeles this week.

It's been 8 years since I was here last and I also find myself pondering the same thing I thought back in 2000: What am I missing?

There seems to always be some sort of secret amongst the residents here as to what the appeal is.

Is it the sunshine and constant 70 degree weather? Can't be. It barely cracked 60 today and the nights are bitterly cold.

Is it the nightlife? Granted it's Superbowl Sunday, but the pickings don't seem to be that great, and I'm in the middle of West Hollywood. (Although in all fairness, I limited myself to places within walking distance, since I like a drink and I don't like waiting for cabs.)

What I reckon it is, is that Los Angeles is for dreamers. I don't mean that as an insult, but just that this is a place where people seem to come to in order to live their fantasy, no matter what steps in reality they have to do in order to acheive it.

As I type this, I'm looking at this week's Frontier Magazine and there are a plethora of adverts for personal trainers promising great results and physique--which they may very well be able to deliver on--but the choice in photos of these trainers suggest that if you want to look like them, then you'll have to become very friendly with a syringe, perhaps even moreso than any barbell.

The magazine itself opens with lavish full-page adverts of plastic surgeons offering liposuction in countless ways and the fantasy that with 4 figures and 0% financing, you too, can be in love with your outside.

Not that New York is better, it just handled in covert, ironic way. The fantasies are promised, but I would hazard a guess that the implication is that everyone would know that you are enhanced by a person who knows how to wield a blade.

In Los Angeles, because you really have to chose to see people on a daily basis, that conceit is hidden, and therefore rendered irrelevant: who cares about the journey as long as you reach your destination?

Indeed, is it a bad thing to leave a corpse that makes mourners consider necrophilia?

Are The Bushes Irony-Deficient?

Billy Bush takes Entertainment Tonight to task on integrity.

People in glass houses...

Catlike Closet Queen Claims Impartiality

How else can you describe this quote from Shepard Smith?

"There's a perception out there that we have a horse in the race, that we're the right-wing channel...You know, man, (what is this, 1978?--Hikaru) I work here. Hannity's right-wing and he's proud of it, and we have some conservative viewers, but our news is just the news . . . or I wouldn't be able to sleep at night."

Fortunately, I'll be missing all this crossover coverage, because I will be trying to remember where on Sunset Boulevard, Ralph's is so I can get a bottle of plum wine.

Notes from Milwaukee

Firstly, who would buy exercise equipment from a man who is overweight?

Secondly, what does it say about the state of the area's economy that the majority of the adverts on local television are for the following:

• Injury lawyers
• Deep discount stores and programs
• Weight-loss schemes

Friday Jukebox Says Pagent Hair Is International

(Case in point: Monrose--the Popstars band who tried to represent Germany last year.

Great staging. Everything else is a bit too...well, OTT.




And apparently the tacky whore look is popular worldwide as well.

Strictly Physical
Uploaded by waytoblue

Seemed oddly appropriate to select a style over substance theme for today's jukebox.

Can't imagine why.

Oh Fuddle Duddle

Fine, I'm voting Clinton and hoping Edwards gets a major position in her administration.

It's Not Like We Didn't Know (New York Edition)

Pharmacist who helped supply NYPD officers with steroids found dead in an apparent suicide.

Let's break this down:

A pharmacist who supplied NYPD officers--who most likely know about staging--with steroids just happens to wind up dead.

Dick Wolf, once the strike is over, you have your season finale.

The Last Sunday in January

And I decide to try my hand at podcasting.

Inspired by a conversation I had recently with a friend of mine in respect to modern life and the political process. You might notice that all of a sudden I flip into a Southern accent. It's a quirk.

Download it here.

Either it's still 1975 or 1995 in Estonia

Judging by their selection for this year's Eurolaul. (Listen to the songs on the left, "Kuula eurolaule")

Not necessarily complaining, because 9 of these songs are quite good, and genres run the gamut from ska to easy listening, but it does sound like ETV's criteria this year was pastiche.

It also helps that Mr. Sexpot of the Baltics himself, Kristjan Kasearu is back with his band Paradise Crew.

I Don't Know What To Say

Namie Amuro has two new videos out, and from a technical standpoint they're good.

but...

Well, they're tied to this Vidal Sassoon campaign about 1960s/70s style (maybe 80s as well), and she's sampling Motown.

Not only that, she's sampling The Supremes and Aretha Franklin. BIG HITS (Baby Love and Rock Steady) too...in Patricia Field costuming no less.

Now, I am happy that more people will be exposed to these songs (well Rock Steady at least, I think there might be a few people out in the Amazon who have never heard Baby Love), I just...I don't know...it seems a little too calculated and shallow. You be the judge. Admittedly, I'm a curmudgeon.

Bonus: The February* Video Blog featuring my reaction to Ms. Amuro's homage.




* I'm trying to do these on the first of the month, but this particular February 1, I'll be traveling, so it's best to get it in early.

Thursday Jukebox Loves Jason Walker

(As an anecdote to the "celebrity death reminds me that the world is mean" coverage...I liked Brokeback Mountain but Ledger was not Harry Hay, he wasn't even Alfred Kinsey)

I stumbled across Jason Walker on the late lamented Q Television Network, and have enjoyed his work since.

Here he is on QTN's Flesh & Threads (a cute, but very LA concept of a show)



And here's his latest (and possibly first ever) music video: I Can't Get You Off My Mind




My name is Hikaru, and I love house music, especially as performed by men with falsettos.

Food for Thought: Mark Steel

From the Conclusion to Vive La Revolution:


For today's establishment, the French Revolution provides proof of the mayhem that reigns when those who talk of equality get their way. Which is why I get the impression we're not supposed to like it very much...every reference to the revolution as nothing but carnage is a warning--leave things as they are, these people who ask you to
protest about things might seem well-intentioned, but if they get their way it will be
heads on pikes around the fountain at the shopping mall.

For the establishment relies on passivity, the very opposite of revolution. For a kaleidoscope of reasons, most people most of the time choose not to confront the injustices on the planet. Even when they do, their suggestion is invariably that a different president, or chairman of the World Bank, would possibly be fairer. The last group that anyone considers should run society is themselves.

Beware people who talk about uniting as a way to absolve others of their sense of guilt.

Saturday Jukebox Salutes The Nevada Caucuses

With a Mika Nakashima tribute... (Can you guess the connection?)

Without question, she has a great voice, but her performing style seems to be from the Juliette Lewis school of training.

Mika Nakashima - One Survive Live
Uploaded by loluly

Nonetheless, she does come up with the most visually striking music videos...

Mika Nakashima - Crescent Moon
Uploaded by bunnylike

Mika Nakashima - Legend
Uploaded by JMFvideo

...Even if she still acts like Goldie Hawn circa 1969 in some of them

Mika Nakashima - Love Addict
Uploaded by AntiFlag607

And Mika can rock...sort of

Mika Nakashima - Glamorous Sky
Uploaded by chupa0chups

Thursday Jukebox SMAPs You Upside The Head

I'm going to go ahead and admit this potentially embarassing aspect of myself: I like SMAP. I own several of their albums, and I always liked the fact that they (or at least Johnny's) always made musical choices which seemed to be funkier and a little bit more mature than the standard boyband/idol genre would suggest--especially in Japan. I even used to have (and still have a soft spot for) crushes on Tsuyoshi & Shingo.

That being said, I wonder if the guys (you certainly can't call them "boys" these days--I'm younger than Shingo and "boyhood" left me in 2000) are beginning to show the strain of being tied together for so long. Now, I'm only stating this based on reading body language, since I'm not privy to the gossip rags and blogs that somebody living in Japan would be.

Nonetheless, here's Exhibit A, a retrospective from Music Station of SMAP's hits from 1991 to 2003. I don't know if the SMAPers are either tired, embarassed, or just over it, but they don't necessarily seemed all that enthused by glancing back at their past.




And now, here's Exhibit B: The group's recent appearance at last year's Kouhaku (think the Japanese answer to Eurovision). My kingdom to find out what they were thinking while performing. (Tsuyoshi: Stop blocking me! I'm popular now! Shingo: Move it, Inagaki! I'm trying to sing my bit. Goro: I'm still pretty, right? Takuya: I'm not the one singing flat. Nakai: Money!)



Exhibit C: The video for Dear WOMAN. Now, while there's no question that this song is more about praising the women of Japan as opposed to praising the SMAPers themselves, I can't help but wonder as to why the video is shot with each of the guys singing their bits solo. I know they're busy doing tons of things on their own, but is it that tricky to get them all in a studio together? Or at least shots of them doing something together.

SMAP - Dear WOMAN [PV]
Uploaded by NaitomeaGazetto

Exhibit D: A live performance of Dear WOMAN, which--for me--seems to have that energy in it that was around Take That right before they announced that they were knackered and bored with each other. The fact that the SMAPers are eerily wearing the same 1970s inspired haircuts as Take That did around 1995-6, might be a reason. It also isn't the most cohesive performance beyond dancing. (I don't remember a SMAP song being this heavy on Tsuyoshi & Shingo, not that I'm complaining.)

dear woman 2
Uploaded by lannalis

Exhibit E: (And I swear I am going to be well and truly SMAPed out after this) The video for Dynamite, a 1997 single which seems to show the lads at least appearing to have fun together.

SMAP - Dynamite [PV]
Uploaded by skanel

Exhibit F: (I guess, one can never SMAP too much) The presentation of their latest single on their TV show SMAP x SMAP. The ending conversation is quite funny and passive-agressive, like a group of old men (not that I'm saying they're old!) who love bickering with each other.

Exhibit G: (I swear on Nakai's receding hairline this is the last one) The unintentional hilarity that is Five Respect, which features the SMAPers rapping and praising each other while doing their utmost to actually avoid each other onstage.

Despite all the previous, I still like the SMAPers, and hope they're around for quite sometime. (Supposedly, they have another single coming out in this Spring.)

Lift Every Voice And Sing

For those unfamiliar with Lift Every Voice & Sing, the black national anthem:





Performed by Kim Weston at the 1973 Wattstax Festival in Los Angeles.

The United Belgian States of America

Today is the actual birthdate of Martin Luther King, Junior (as opposed to the "holiday" on next Monday--which to be honest, I have problems with, since like Memorial Day, most view it as a day off, not a day to reflect upon Dr. King's work and how we have progressed/failed), and once again, I find myself convinced that as a nation, we are continuing to step further and further away from equality.

But wait, don't we have a white woman and a black man vying to become president?

Yes, we do.

Isn't that a sign of progress?

Not if they (and their attack dogs) spend time sniping about semantics surrounding the work of Dr. King. And by the way, in 1972, Shirley Chisholm tried to run for president, I think that was inherently more gutsy and revolutionary than anything either Hillary or Barack have done.

As I see it, the United States is a country where the residents of many different ethnic backgrounds continue to live in relatively separate communities and viewpoints that occasionally intersect, but for the most part are isolated. The only thing that seems to unify us is mere geography. Much like Belgium, I'd reckon.

Three years ago, I went to Palm Springs for my birthday and the flights there and back were quite memorable: At the risk of losing crediblity, I flew first class. (A frivolous expense, to be true, but it was my birthday and I'm a believer in that the flight that one takes sets the tone for the trip itself.) The flights from Chicago to Palm Springs and back were completely full in both cabins. As everyone knows, there is that infamous march that everyone has to do past the first class cabin. Never before in my life have I ever been shot so many dirty looks, which I interpreted as having a racial undertone to them (even if those who threw them did not have that intention).

The fact that I did, speaks volumes for the society and country in which I grew up: How many people out there know that there is a Black National Anthem? How many know about the black upper classes and their organisations and communities? They came about because there was and continues to be a schism between the experiences of white and black America, and there is little effort to address it, lo these centuries later.

As Americans, we like to believe that everybody is equal, and everybody is, but the hardest thing to do is to actually practice that belief. We carry the ideological baggage of our ancestors, whether we accept that baggage or reject it altogether, it is a part of us, and we have to deal with it.

That baggage is everywhere we look in this country: from the demographics of Detroit to those of Ellis Island. It is evident in the fact that there are hundreds of communities with Native American names in this country where the actual Native American population is zero and few people would be hard pressed to actually name the tribe who gave the community its name.

I mention this not because of guilt, but because it is important to actually look at our country, what it is, and how to steer it towards an all-inclusive future cognizant of its past. (I find the term "all-inclusive" a bit strange, personally, as it makes it sound like the US should be some sort of continental Club Med.)

Nonetheless, I hope this actually means that by my deathbed (2101, if I'm lucky), there might actually be a truly United States of America. Sadly, at this point in time, I would not surprise if the status quo persists.

Before I sign off on this, I'd like to leave with this very interesting incident from a post on December 20th by Expat Jane over at Where The Hell Am I? , which I think underlines the fact that there is more than meets the eye when it comes to the reality of American history (read the whole post as well, and the blog, too--it's excellent):

I remember being on the bus when a Korean man was talking to my white female coworker and was simply ignoring me. That was fine as he was drunk, but when he asked her if she was an "American". She said yes and pointed out that I was American too. Do you know this man had the nerve to say "no, I mean an original American." I thought that was funny because 1) the original people living on what is now American soil weren't white people and 2) when you look at the black American population, the majority of black American families have been in the US longer than most white families. There are only a select few white Americans who can claim ancestry from that first wave of British colonists. I can't remember where I read or heard it but basically to make this point a teacher in the US told everyone in her class to stand up. She told them if they had a parent who had immigrated to the US to sit down. She then asked students who had grandparents who'd immigrated to the States to sit down. She continued and the last students standing were the black students. Black Americans come from multi-generational American families, so that "original American" comment made me laugh 'cause that man was simply ignorant, but it shows how much the world at large has bought into the pop culture images that flow out of the States.

I Think We're Supposed To Care

But it's such a manufactured spat, exploiting our nation's still unresolved racial disharmony for personal gain.

Can I Get A Side of Humbled Peacock?

The once-mighty NBC is beginning to get a littl less bombastic these days: what with their ratings being the toilet and now their OTT coverage of the Golden Globes has become a press conference which can be aired by any network who so desires to.

I'm A Touch Horrified

Inside Edition is 20 years old today, according this article in The New York Daily News.

I'm a bit shocked in that:

1. It lasted so long.
2. It still claims newsmagazine status (but then again Entertainment Tonight and TMZ are technically newsmagazines as well).
3. How anyone takes Bill O'Reilly seriously knowing he was the first host of Inside Edition.

Iowa & Mitsuhiro Oikawa

Today is the Iowa Caucus, an event that quite honestly has too much weight given to it--solely because it's the first electoral event of the US primary season. Therefore, Iowans (who aren't really that representative of the whole nation, although in a nation of 300 million plus spread out over a continent, no state is, and is proof positive of the need for the interregional primary system) get to essentially do the first vetting of candidates, and the rest of us (especially those of us who won't be able to vote until after the absurd Super Tuesday) have to do our pickings based on the opinions of Iowa & New Hampshire.

Or to put it in an even more absurd perspective: residents of 2 barely urban states choose the candidates for a majority urbanised nation who will go to the polls in November to participate in an election which is not decided by the popular vote.

In all fairness, I like the quaint notion of the caucus, and for a state like Iowa, it makes sense to have that format. That said, it's no bellwether.

So what does Mitsuhiro Oikawa have to do with this? Nothing really. Much like how Iowa & New Hampshire's status during primary season is out of proportion with the rest of the nation, so is Oikawa's status in relation to this post.

But he is a cute little aging pretty boy, isn't he? (That's him swaying on the left in the video.)

????????????
Uploaded by rosa1987

Fearless Leader's Video Message for 2008

By the way, Anderson Cooper & Kathy Griffin are a brillant pairing.

Out of the ashes of one British Mark...

...rises a phoenix of another.

This is a rather dramatic way of saying that the disenchantment with Mark Ravenhill has been replaced with the discovery of Mark Steel, a Socialist comedian, whose book Vive La Revolution I've been reading.

Listen to him speak from the book at Marxism 2003 here. (Part 2 here.)

The Year That It Was (On Here): 2007

It wasn't as busy a year as last at this corner of the internet, but there were some moments.

January

• I drink myself sober on New Year's and turn all Pollyanna-like.
• Don't drink with the ex.
• There is a programme better than The Closet, and it is subsequently picked up by here!
• The Polish final which is surprisingly low on actual Poles.
• A forecast for life in the next century.
• 700 posts!
• I dissect Eurolaul and irk prissy Vanilla Ninja fans for merely mentioning the strange resemblance between the band members and Lindsay Lohan.

February

• Jump in the time machine, because it's Eurovision 1992.
• Atlanta is not fun...especially when it is colder than New York (in more ways than one).
• A poll to see which Melodifestivalen act was aiming for the gay vote.
• A moment of reflection.
• Praising Ms. Nanne.
• Fun with the Spanish Eurovision selection (part 1).
• Fight for your right...to pick up hustlers.
• Cocaine is a helluva a drug...to watch Spanish National Finals with.

March

• Matt Sanchez and his idiocy.
• Escape from the land of muscle worshippers.
• GLAAD slides toward irrelevance.
• Me vs. Tacky theatre.

April

• We are saved from the possibility of President Tommy Thompson.
• Yet another Russian Eurovision entry with catchy music and lyrics by Babelfish.
• Praising MISIA.
• Eurovision Preview Reviews galore!
• He speaks.

May

• We Love Bitchy Nordics
• I am bewildered by the Eurovision Qualifier, and indifferent to the Final.
• Inane questions run amok on New York local news.
• Like many others, I fall for the daft Endemol joke.

June

• Shut up, Bono & Bob.
• The Tonys slide towards irrelevance just a touch slower than GLAAD.
• Bloomie gets a partial clue
• Take That revival.
• I Love Elliot (Spitzer).

July

• Oh, to be on the wrong side of the housing boom.
• I try to get religion...and realise I am my own church.
• Nobody likes Dick
• Milwaukee: test market for terrorism.

August

• My name is Hikaru Krispy Kreme, how may I serve you?
• I'm getting old, people...old & crotchety.
• Siberian independence NOW.

September

• Just a sampling of the GOP idiots running for President.
• Sensenbrenner needs to get eliminated....again.
• The Loonie reaches parity and then surpasses it. (Perhaps we're the real Loonies.)
• Janet Jackson makes a true lapse in judgement.
• Guess what? The Closet is coming back!

October

• Bye bye Jimmy.
• Obama self-destructs.

November

• Writers' Strike!
• WTMJ thinks moral indignation is the key to ratings success.
• ...And Al Roker is on Court TV.
• NBC slides towards irrelevance, faster than the Tonys & GLAAD.
• How not to do an interview.
• The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade review...not for those incapable of comprehending context.
• Crap shows reopen.
• I hate Judd Apatow, but not as much as I despise La Perry.

December

• Perhaps we all really can't get along?
• Mourning a role model.
• Silver lining in Wisconsin's bigoted anti-SSM amendment.
• Edwards = JFK-meets-FDR and I'm all for it.
• Yes, MISIA has lost her mind, but it's catchy.
• Drunk Kiwis...awww.

Perhaps you've noticed something different this year, particularly a big drop in posts. I haven't mentioned it all this year, but there's been an underlying theme in my posts particularly in the second half of 2007: Cancer.

First, my aforementioned ex was diagnosed and treated for Prostate Cancer in July & August. The next month, my mother was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and is currently undergoing treatment. (Fortunately, it was caught very early.) Two weeks later, my great aunt died from Lung Cancer. (My extended family--like my immediate family--is very small, so this was quite a huge deal.)

As for myself, I've so far been declared healthy by several doctors, which is good, especially since this year, I seem to hear and see cancer everywhere. Yet, as a result of these medical issues, I've taken on some extra non-writing work in order to lighten the load of those recovering.

Although it's likely I'll post again before January: Good health to all who read this (even Jonathan Capehart) in 2008.

The Running of the Drunk Kiwi Santas

Several times a year, a story comes along that allows us to basically laugh at a certain nation ad its foibles.

This Christmas, I would nominate the running of a bunch of drunk Kiwi students in Santa Claus (or as the accent seems to suggest: "Center Klaus") outfits through a Christchurch movie theatre.

The coverage on TVNZ seems to be pleading for the world not to judge all of New Zealand as bored drunkards bent on terrorising young children.

Modern Life Is Absurd (Part 100)...and touchng

The Daily News's David Hinckley goes all existential on disembodied voices.

And while several media outlets picked up the story of Lee Thomas, the black anchor whose skin is losing its pigmentation, I think the best and most poignant coverage (albeit solely on presentation...since it is an AP article) is on The Sydney Morning Herald.

Tuesday Jukebox Thinks MISIA has lost her mind

Damn catchy, and she's still in great voice, but what on god's green earth inspired that title?

MISIA - Royal Chocolate Flush
Uploaded by HANNYA