A little disclaimer before I get started with this review. For starters, I like most of Norway's entries from 1960 to 1998 (give or take a "Mitt Liv," "Duett," or whatever Finn Kalvik sang in 1981), I even liked their English language entries from 1973 to 1976. Somehow from 1999 onwards, the songs really began to...well...suck, for lack of a better term. My automatic bias against free language would suggest that this is related to the relative absence of the Norwegian language in their final, but quite frankly there are several exceptions disproving that (Mocci's MGP entry in 2001; Arlene Wilkes's in 2004; ol' crazy Jahn Teigen, Jorun Erdal, and Wig Wam last year). Since all the songs have now been released, I have to say that this year the quality does seem better, however I sympathise with Philip Kruse who pointed out that 12 of the 18 songs in the semi-finals are actually by Swedes. Not exactly a ringing endorsement by the state broadcaster of the Norwegian music industry.
Preamble over and on with the show.
Actually, if you're watching this online you don't necessarily start with the show but with a very prim and proper announcer who looks like a schoolteacher from Minnesota.
I have to say one thing about NRK (which also applies to SVT as well), they are stylish! Seriously, the US networks could learn a great deal about minimalist logos and film quality from them. I have no idea where Alta is in Norway, but NRK has tempted me to consider visiting it.
The stage looks remenscient of American Idol but dark and sleek with several chandeliers all around the stage. Our hosts for the evening (and for all the rest of MGP 2006, I suspect) are Synnøve Svabø & Stian Barsnes Simonsen. I'm calling them Syn and Sti. Syn, I believe was in the group Charmed, who represented Norway in 2000. Sti is a comedian, I think. Sti comes out first. He's a very good looking man, I have to say. Sort of like Drew Lachey or Breckin Meyer but cleaned up. He could do with a bit of a haircut, but I'm content. Then Syn comes out, and if she's not a drag queen, then I'm surprised. She's wearing some sort of sash that looks like a bunch of leeks rolled up with some feathers. Considering that Sti is a comedian, Syn is doing her best to upstage him. Syn also looks a lot like Kirsti Sparboe.
There's a music break of "Boogie Wonderland" and then they get on with the show. (What is it with the Nordic countries and '70s disco?)
The postcards are just...gorgeous, to be honest. Scenes of Norway as a Winter Wonderland.
Song #1 Trine Rein - Here For The Show
Well, for all the praise I just heaped on NRK, they still have audio problems, because Trine wasn't audible for the first few seconds. This is basically a Robbie Williams song as performed by a woman. She can sing, and the song is not bad, but it's nothing terribly interesting. (Much like Robbie Williams now, to be honest.)
Song #2 Geir Rønning & Jorun Erdal - Lost and Found
Take last year's Finnish has-been and last year's MGP has-been and hopefully they'll become something. The postcard deals with face-painting. Uh huh. I'm not going to try to find a connection there. Wow, does Geir have a strong accent. This must be one of the Swedish songs, because we have heard this song before in 2003 with Fame. I feel obligated to point out the grammatical error of saying "search for lost and found." Anyway, Geir looks like a businessman singing karaoke, and Jorun looks like the Norwegian answer to Delta Burke. It doesn't work for her.
Syn & Sti talk. I have lewd thoughts about Sti, I could care less what he's saying.
Song #3 Kirsti Carr - Misled
Kirsti is dressed in a Lena Ph pink blouse and white capri pants, but seems a little too timid. This might be another Swedish entry as well. The reason why? The staging is reminescent of guess what? Fame in 2003. Standard uptempo song, nothing too interesting here. The overall impression I get is of a high school teachers' talent show.
Song #4 Christina Undhejem - My Dream
Sti said something about Lionel Ritchie in his intro for Christina. I do not take this as a good sign. Oh god, it's a ballad. Christina has big frizzy hair and a dress that makes her look pregnant. The stream that I'm watching this on begins to freeze up and I know now that my ISP apparently has good taste. Christina tries to have her crazy gospel moment towards the end, but I'm so deep in "I don't care" territory that there is no way I'm turning back.
Song #5 Mocci Ryen - Tonight
Mocci brought it in 2001 with "You've Got The Motion" and unfairly lost to the freak show that was Harald Whatisnamn and his rip off of "All By Myself." Having listened to the song already (last night, in fact, on my way out to Splash), it seemed pretty decent. Sort of like No Doubt's version of "It's My Life" meets Kelly Osbourne's "One Word." Syn says something about Paul McCartney and I get a bad feeling. It starts out well. Mocci is a bit breathy, but capable. She's dressed in what I would describe as a 1930's nightgown and has her hair styled like Jean Harlow. Unfortunately, it seems like she never manages to totally grab the audience with the punch required to pull off this song. Eep. Her backing singers look like green and white pep squad members. Alas, Mocci's voice goes all over the place towards the end.
Song #6 Arlene Wilkes - Sunshine
For her part, Arlene brought it in 2004 with the anthemic "This Is Where You Got It From." This time, she's going for disco. If you can imagine an elfin Debbie Allen, then you've got a good idea of what Arlene looks like. Arlene is dressed like a 1950's dance teacher. Lots of floral print and bust out front and centre. Arlene seems to be suffering from Mocci's vocal problems. That is to say, not quite selling the song enough. Afro-Dite dodged this in 2002 by having psychotic choreography. Unfortunately, "Sunshine" does not call for this and all of Arlene's musical training ain't helping her sell it.
Trine performs again because nobody at home could hear her. They can now, and I am still indifferent. Seriously, the last thing we need are more Robbie Williams imitators. Do something original, please. I'd care more if it was in Norwegian...slightly.
Sti & Syn go over the rules and replay the songs. Basically, the top two songs will go to final and the next two will go to the second chance round. Trine is still banal, Geir and Jorun look bizarre, Christina is still frizzy, Mocci tries hard and doesn't quite get there, and Arlene...well, the studio version is kick-ass at least.
The interval is something called "Secret Stone," which seems to a performance incorporating Sami singing and violins. Think Enigma, not "Sámiid Ædnan." It's quite nice and soothing, and I'm generally not one of these people who like new age folk-fusion music. (Though I actually like "Sámiid Ædnan.")
Sti and Syn come back. Syn starts saying "Sweden, one point" and on and on until "The Former Yugoslavian (sic) Republic of Macedonia, 12 points." I find myself wishing that my Norwegian was up to snuff so I can figure out if she's being genuinely funny or just unhinged.
Somebody called Geir-Ove Bakken comes out and the crowd goes bananas. I think he's certified the results. Dramatic pause...save for ominous synth music. Kirsti Carr goes to the Second Chance round. (Why?) Arlene Wilkes goes to the Second Chance round. (Good for her.)
Trine goes to the final. (Weak semi, you're lucky.) Trine performs again. I have now heard this song three times and I have now gone from indifferent to the early stages of loathing. All she does is basically shout "Are you here for the show? Are you here for the rock 'n' roll circus?" I will give her credit, she's a decent singer, but this is really quite a milquetoast "rock" song.
Geir and Jorun go to the final as well. (Very lucky it's a weak semi.) I'm spared seeing them perform again because Trine's audio problems have caused the MGP to run over and NRK's streaming will not have this go over one hour. Who knew that NRK's streaming had such good taste as well?
Next week, Queentastic try to become the second drag act to perform at Eurovision.
2 comments:
Could you please refresh my memory of your interest in European pop culture music? I read things on your blog that I, being somewhat euro savvy, to be new and interesting.
Certainly, Prince.
I lived in the UK for 2 years, where courtesy of having nothing else to do on a Saturday night, I sat down and watched the 1998 Eurovision Song Contest, which could be best described as a cross between the World Music Awards combined with televoting and lots of camp. The idea being that the best songwriters from each participating country would square off against each other.
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