Friday, January 12, 2007

I don't think this is the right locale

Maybe it's me, but if you're holding auditions for The Biggest Loser, you shouldn't have them in a brewery--even if it is in Milwaukee.

(Thanks to Tim Cuprisin's phenmomenal blog for this info.)

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Better Than The Closet (Part Two)

The DL Chronicles, which will be coming to here in the near future.

The fact that lead actor Darren Schnase is genuinely sexy as hell has nothing whatsoever to do with me applauding this.

No, nothing whatsoever.

Read Rod 2.0 for more information on The DL Chronicles.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

The View-Splash Post-Mortem: Drinking With The Ex

Ugh!

Never again.

As much as there is to be said for maintaining amicable relations, the long, protracted silences wherein he tries to complete a thought just drive my "say what you mean, and say it fast" self up a wall, and remind me of how good it is to be single again.

On the upside, one thing I have discovered that is true: go-go boys and opportunists will flock to a tall, skinny white man like moths to a flame.

That is a problem I certainly do not want to ever have, since 9 times out of 10, I just want to watch some music videos and take in the barely whispered conversations between the patrons and the steroided.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Sunday Jukebox Has New Stress

In...In...In...In...In...In honour of the upcoming Eurovision season and to...to...to...to...to...to celebrate the New Year, here...here...here...here...here...here's a re-envisioning of Stress.



Is it wrong that I find Odd somewhat attractive?

Friday, January 05, 2007

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

The View-Barracuda Post-Mortem: Archetypes

Still euphoric after the New Year's random encounters, I tried to get back into normal operating mode--in other words, getting to The View ASAP.

Go figure that not even after finishing one Twisted Tea: I get shanghaied by a man claiming to be Martha Stewart's vet. Even (partially) out of commission: he takes me to Barracuda and embarks on a mission to get into my pants. These days, however; that will not happen.

What's this man like? Keen to mention that he is wearing Gucci Shoes and carrying a Prada bag.


I think that about says all.

Monday, January 01, 2007

The Splash-The View Post-Mortem: Happy New Year's from me and my happy___

...ass, to use a phrase from Ghost Stories.

I'll be honest with you, something that was bound to happen did occur: I literally lost my shirt. I had the requisite amount of liquor that enabled me to get over my inhibitions and dance like I didn't care.

And indeed I didn't care. I didn't care to the point that I let my shirt go and fly out of my waist and into the confetti-laden floor.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

The main event of the evening is that I had my very first New Year's kiss--at Splash no less.

Y'see, New Year's for me has traditionally been the South Park marathon and a bottle of plum wine in Wisconsin because I didn't want to deal with the chaos of New York on New Year's Eve. For some reason--which I can't explain, but am grateful for--I decided to finally spend New Year's at my present home.

I'm floating on Cloud 9 at the moment, so this will be a rambling post-mortem. Through a series of strange circumstances I did wind up literally dancing with the one who "brung" me, but I didn't dance metaphorically with the one that brung me. Granted that's a strange metaphor, but it's the only way I can explain it at the moment.

When I came to Splash at 8, I was seized upon by a guy, whom I'll call L. L happened to sport my kryptonite, which is black-rimmed glasses. At the time it seemed like L & myself were probably going to be a pair for the evening, but after I stepped outside for a bit, L suggested that I "circulate." Being dutiful, I did. Well, I plopped myself in my usual spot and wound up talking to a guy whom I'll call Q. Q also wore glasses and happened to also be a performance writer as well. Since Splash is only huge by New York standards, it was inevitable that L & Q were bound to meet, thus bringing forth a war between my mind and my loins, with Q winning that battle since the entrance to my loins these days is via my mind: shared political beliefs, career, and smoking will do that to you.

To make a long story short, come Midnight*, my tongue was down Q's throat and--apologies for sounding Pollyanna-ish here--I suspect that Q will be major participant in 2007 for me and hopefully vice versa.

Yes indeed, this will be a very good year.

* I subscribe to the superstition that whomever you kiss at Midnight will play a major role in the following year. I've never kissed anyone at this particular time before so it's always been me in the year that follows.

By the way, The View was a very good coda: Some GBM bonding with a Guyanian-American, the first song and music video that I remember loving to death, and a fag hag who said "your fly is down, sweetie." My response? "It's New Year's and I don't care, since anyone who notices it is already interested in the contents behind it and probably wouldn't want it zipped up in the first place." (Yes, I said that. She called me "sweetie." I hate that.)

Thursday, December 28, 2006

The 2006 Jukebox Does It with Rick Astley

For starters, how come I heard nothing about Rick Astley making a comeback in 2001? He certainly gave it a damn good try.




Aquarians age well, don't we?

Of course this may just be my February 6 bias, but Rick Astley deep in his SAW days was all the upside of the 80s.



And he managed to do a pretty good ballad in '91, I reckon. (Yes, I said it: "a good ballad." This is one exception to the "all ballads must make you feel like slitting your wrists" rule.)




You think I was going to end the 2006 jukeboxes with a ballad? Ha!

The funny thing about a lot of Rick Astley videos in the 80s is that they aren't as aggressively heterosexual as the lyrics would suggest. They're pure camp fluff, and that is a very good thing.

Of course, Rick (onscreen) only seems to have chemistry with the camera, mysterious ginger that he is.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Merry Dragmas

Beyonce--with a makeup job that seems straight out of genderfuck drag--at the 2005 Oscars. (Are we certain that wasn't a country drag queen doing stand-in? I mean, mon dieu, with that pronunciation.)




And now to rectify the former: Grace Jones on Pee Wee's Playhouse Christmas.



The best ever rendition of "Little Drummer Boy" I've come across so far.

Friday, December 22, 2006

The Year That It Was (On Here): 2006

January


February

March

April

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December

Moral of 2006: Ralph Ellison was right.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

We Need A Little Renato Zero this Christmas

Don't you think?




Now that is the textbook definition of "fierce performance" in my book.

This Is Milwaukee...Morning Television

Sometime ago when I heard that WTMJ was doing a local chat show to air after Today, I surmised that it would be a car crash.

God, was I right.

This morning the two hosts spent the first 4 minutes going on about getting rid of the smell attached to bracelet by putting it in a toaster.

It was like watching Pirandello with thick Milwaukee accents: "Ohmigaaawd. I can't believ' dat."

Just like Live is pretty much just the first half-hour, Morning Blend really is rather dull after the opening segment.

They should embed these opening segments within Saturday Night Live.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Did I Just Blackout or Do I Just Not Watch Enough CNBC?

AirTran wants to merge with Midwest? (Hubs in Milwaukee & Atlanta? You know Milwaukee would be the loser.)

Continental and United discussing merger? (That oddly makes sense.)

Northwest and American? (TWA mark II)

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

The View-Splash Post-Mortem: Believe Me, I Have The Last Laugh

Let's get the big news out of the way: I got pickpocketed.

Yes, I finally got pickpocketed and in a very sly way: by a small guy with bad breath groping my crotch at The View.

All I lost was a mp3 player (which is covered by a guaranty and is only activated by a password which I only know) and ultimately no big loss.

Ironically, I also wound up winning 2 tickets to the sold-out showing of Dreamgirls this Saturday. I can't use them, but I have 2 friends who can, so it's not like they would be wasted.

The way I see it, I can now get a better mp3 player and I have now given a good friend of mine a great Hanukkah present.

All is right with the world.

Eurovision 2007: She's Back....!

Alya, that is. RTVSLO announced the shortlist for next year's EMA, which includes the aforementioned Alya as well as rock band Nude (courtesy of ESCtoday.com).

Here's a reminder of how much Alya kicks ass (and hopefully will finally get the prize this tiem around). This is her debut EMA performance from 2003 with Exploziv(no).




And remember this was the winning entry from EMA 2003, an upbeat version of The Neil Sedaka/Bette Midler/The Carpenters' "Superstar."

Monday, December 11, 2006

Modern Life Sucks

...in choral form.



By the way, Finnish is such very practical language, and soothing to the ear, isn't it?

Sunday, December 10, 2006

The Splash-G-The View Post-Mortem: Am I The Same Hikaru?

I state the titular question, because tonight felt so different, even though I did the same things as I normally did any Saturday night.

The common definition of insanity is repeating the same action over and over again and expecting a different result. I pretty much expect nothing to happen, and nothing--in general--ever does...except for tonight.

I get towards the entrance to Splash and the doorman greats me with a hug and a handshake. Am I that much of a regular? I never know what to do in those situations, so I go along with it. I plop down at my usual seat in the back and as if by psychic intuition the bartender puts down a Corona--my standard for when I can't be arsed to go downstairs for a Mike's. (Not to mention the fact that Rimmed Glasses was working the bar...in boxers, rolled up to look like briefs)

After three Coronas, I get a message from the guy--I guess--I'm sort of seeing. (We're both Aquarians, so it's really hard to tell.) He's tipsy over at G, so will I go and join him. Of course, I will. Were he Joe Blow off the street, I wouldn't, but this guy is practically my doppelganger, so how could I refuse?

Over at G, I inadvertently keep on stepping on toes as my "linked comrade" goes hunting for a seat. He's very singular-minded and for that I applaud him. I also wind up having a bit of a personal crisis since the "linked comrade" is 5 years my junior. That's right, he's young and I have no idea how to deal with youth that is basically me when I was his age. He also happened to be very tipsy and eager to get home, which means that he was not a challenge.

Over at The View, I get into a conversation with someone who might as well be labelled Kryptonite, since it drives me absolutely wild. Who is this mysterious guy? A Russian. That's right along with the Adam Sessler-as-sex-god admission, I am admitting that I have got the big pants for Russians or in fact any Slav.

My bladder unfortunately put an end to that, since I scurried to the urinals in no time at all.

So that was my night, comrades.

Invisibility

I realise that I've probably skirted around a subject on a lot of my posts without necessarily addressing head on: invisibility. It's probably because on this subject, I don't quite know what to say in a direct manner. I will try this time around.

I've been rereading (albeit for the first time in its unabridged version) The Invisible Man and I forgot how much of a price everyone pays by keeping themselves and others invisible.

What's my definition of invisible? Invisible is not speaking up when you are being used like an object. Invisible is when you realise that someone who is seated right next to you is completely looking through you as if you are not there. Invisible is feeling the rage inside and trying desperately to quell it. Invisible is slinking off into the corner, watching the world pass by, and being confused by whether or not to interact in it.

All too often, I seek invisibility, but I also get incensed when I'm not noticed. I don't mean this in a vain sense, I'm only talking about not being noticed that another human being is present in your close proximity.

The old expression of "man is an island" has always left me perplexed. Yes, we are physically islands, but we are so dependent on others that it seems ludicrous to conduct ourselves in that manner. Today, while I was changing at the gym, I had elbows bump into me, conversations conducted over my head, and "pardon me"s ignored. In short, I became to those in my surroundings, a non-person.

It may seem like what I'm calling "invisibility" is just a lack of manners, but I think it goes further than that. If you look back in the history of discrimination, you'll find that people often employed slurs to dehumanise others and justify their perceived superiority and autonomy in the world. "Fag," "boy," "girl," and so on. (In respect to the last two, they might seem nebulous and are most of the time basically innocuous words, but with a certain tone of voice, they become weapons of submission.)

Modern urban life, I reckon, has forced many people to lump others into the category of non-persons. Many don't look around to see the cleaning people, subway clerk, or even junior colleagues. I wonder if there's a fear that if we accept that everybody is just as human as the rest of us, then we won't be able to function on a daily basis (the "I have enough friends" theory). As I see it, I think we can; since there's a difference between establishing intimacy and treating others with respect based upon shared humanity. We do not have to agree on everything, but there needs to be a lot less of "them" and "us" in the world.

As for me, when I go out next, I will interact as if I am a full-rank player in the world. It won't stop me from taking in the greater picture, nor observing my surroundings, but it will hopefully reinforce my sense of self and my involvement with others, because I am visible.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

You Only See What Your Eyes Want To See

My opinion on the The Hudson Affair that semi-erupted this week.

I think a lot of projection went on when it came to the (now-unnamed) author of the Dallas Voice article. Hudson should've been much more explicit in how she personally feels--despite her previous statement on sin which the author called "schizophrenic." The author was clearly coming in with an axe to grind as well.

This sort of "journalism" is what got Jeff Gannon his notoriety (and a column in the Washington Blade) and one wonders if the author was interested in promoting his/her own self and opinions over the actual subject he/she was supposed to be covering. (By the way, isn't the Dallas Voice an affiliate of the Washington Blade? The same fools behind the waste of trees that is the New York Blade?)

If ego was the goal, then on some level the writer succeeded, since their piece was rocketed all over the online gay press where commentators worded out cautious statements along the lines of "I hope she didn't realise what she was actually saying." Hudson subsequently issued a statement that has hopefully put this issue to rest in all but the most hysteric fringe.

The author has apparently disappeared into the annals of cyberspace.

Now for a real clear labelling by singers of gays as sinners, read Clay Cane's excerpt from his interview with Mary Mary.

So here's my statement on religion: I don't go to church, never regularly attended church, nor do I plan on becoming a regular member of one. I am not Baptised, nor was I ever Confirmed. I was raised celebrating Christian holidays as family affairs as opposed to religious ones--although I was also thought the stories behind them. I don't currently consider myself Christian, or even Spiritual, unless being Taoist counts as a spiritual belief system. I know (which is much stronger than "believe" in my book) that people have used religion to excuse away bigotry and violence for centuries. I also know that throughout it all, sanity and logic have prevailed in the end and that naught is ultimately gained by twisting other's words to salve one's own wounds from the past.

My interpretation of the infamous quote ("man should not lay with man as he does with woman," or thereabouts) is this: I wouldn't have sex with a woman anyway, so having sex with men when you only desire men isn't violating any biblical doctrine. Of course, that same biblical book also tells people to avoid shellfish.

Okay, so I watch WNYW!

Anne Craig subbed for Rosanna Scotto on the 5pm news on WNYW, and I have to say...she's not too bad in the anchor's desk. It's a whole different feeling with her than La Scotto. It's...perky, but not annoying. You get the sense that she's definitely got a brain, but that she isn't going to tell you what to feel. (La Scotto expresses her opinion often, but she's got the personality and gravitas to back that up, which is a very good thing mind you.) It is just a touch strange to hear upspeak on the news.

Nonetheless, I am getting the sense that they are grooming her to take over someone's slot.

In other matters WNYW, the channel has picked some of the daftest stories for viewers to choose for 2006 story of the year. Amongst the candidates:
  • Steve Irwin's death. (Nod to the dark Antipodean overlord.)
  • Christie Brinkley's divorce. (Ego stroke, since the strumpet involved gave an exclusive interview to La Scotto)
  • Ed Bradley's death. (I liked Ed Bradley a lot, but his death did not define this year for anyone outside his family and friends.)
  • Howard Stern moves to satellite radio.
  • A tornado hits Westchester.
  • Umpteen stories about celebrities breaking up, getting together, and blah, blah, blah.

Christ on a stick, it wasn't that boring of a year.